Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb. Kam lindur n\u00eb fshat dhe jam rritur me mentalitetin e atjesh\u00ebm. Kur isha n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb mesme u dashurova me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00ebn time. Ai ishte dy vjet m\u00eb i madh se un\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb e mori vesh e para motra ime dhe ajo ia tha edhe mamit. Pasi mori vesh se p\u00ebr cilin djal\u00eb b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb, mamaja ime m\u00eb tha se ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb mos shoq\u00ebrohesha m\u00eb me t\u00eb, pasi, sipas saj, djali nuk vinte nga nj\u00eb familje e mir\u00eb. Pastaj m\u00eb tha se, n\u00ebse e merrte vesh im at\u00eb, do t\u00eb b\u00ebhej xhind.<\/p>\n
K\u00ebshtu, desha s\u2019desha, i thash\u00eb djalit q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb takoheshim m\u00eb. E kisha shum\u00eb frik\u00eb tim at\u00eb dhe i ruhesha zem\u00ebrimit t\u00eb tij. V\u00ebrtet \u00ebsht\u00eb tip i qet\u00eb, por kur zem\u00ebrohet ama, mos i dil p\u00ebrpara. U ndam\u00eb pa shum\u00eb drama, sepse ishim ende n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb son\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb kishte puthur vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb, asgj\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. Kur mbarova t\u00eb mesmen, prind\u00ebrit menduan t\u00eb m\u00eb fejonin dhe m\u00eb gjet\u00ebn nj\u00eb djal\u00eb q\u00eb banonte n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Ata m\u00eb than\u00eb se ishte djal\u00eb i mir\u00eb dhe donte t\u00eb merrte nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb ndershme, me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, t\u00eb virgj\u00ebr. Kjo ishte arsyeja pse kishte zgjedhur nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb n\u00eb fshat. U ndjeva nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht krenare dhe e mikluar q\u00eb ai m\u00eb kishte zgjedhur mua. Pse t\u2019jua fsheh? Jeta n\u00eb fshat m\u00eb ishte m\u00ebrzitur shum\u00eb: Pa mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb dal\u00eb, si t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bashk\u00ebmoshataret e mia q\u00eb banonin n\u00eb qytet, pa arg\u00ebtime. E gjith\u00eb dita ishte e mbushur vet\u00ebm me pun\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e lir\u00eb q\u00ebndisnim ose punonim me grep. K\u00ebshtu kalonin dit\u00ebt. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu q\u00eb do t\u00eb nd\u00ebrroja ambient dhe do t\u00eb jetoja n\u00eb qytet.<\/p>\n
Djali jetonte me t\u00eb atin dhe njerk\u00ebn (pasi e \u00ebma i kishte vdekur) dhe me motr\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl. K\u00ebshtu, filloi lidhja jon\u00eb. Shkonim mir\u00eb dhe ai m\u00eb m\u00ebsonte shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra. Pas pak koh\u00ebsh, m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb b\u00ebja dashuri me t\u00eb. Pas disa hezitimeve pranova, por, p\u00ebr \u00e7udi, nuk pata hemorragji. I fejuari im u b\u00eb si xhind. M\u00eb akuzoi se kisha shkuar me t\u00eb tjer\u00eb para tij, gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ishte aspak e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Para akuzave t\u00eb tij, i thash\u00eb se isha gati t\u00eb shkoja te nj\u00eb gjinekolog p\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebrtetuar q\u00eb kisha qen\u00eb e virgj\u00ebr. Ai pranoi, por m\u00eb tha se do t\u00eb shkoja me n\u00ebn\u00ebn (njerk\u00ebn) e tij te nj\u00eb gjinekolog q\u00eb do ta zgjidhte ai. K\u00ebshtu, vajt\u00ebm t\u00eb vizitohesha, por ndjehesha shum\u00eb e l\u00ebnduar. Pse t\u00eb mos m\u00eb besonte nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb i betohesha se nuk kisha vajtur me njeri? Megjithat\u00eb, un\u00eb isha e sigurt\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjigjen e mjekut, i cili i tha t\u00eb fejuarit tim se jo t\u00eb gjitha vajzat kan\u00eb hemorragji q\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien e par\u00eb. Kjo gj\u00eb u v\u00ebrtetua m\u00eb pas, pasi pata hemorragji. I fejuari im nuk tha gj\u00eb, bile as nuk m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb falur q\u00eb kishte dyshuar tek un\u00eb. Sigurisht, e kuptoi se kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb gabim, por nuk tha gj\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, ia fala dhe ne vazhduam si m\u00eb par\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Pas disa koh\u00ebsh un\u00eb ngela shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb. Ia dhash\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb lajm me g\u00ebzim t\u00eb fejuarit tim, sepse mendoja se do t\u2019i b\u00ebhej qejfi, por kjo nuk ndodhi. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj, ai m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi ta abortoja f\u00ebmij\u00ebn, sepse, sipas tij, nuk kishim kushtet e duhura p\u00ebr t\u2019u martuar shpejt. Abortova me dhimbje, por pas k\u00ebsaj, kalova nj\u00eb infeksion q\u00eb mezi m\u2019u shqit. Mjeku m\u00eb tha se duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebja kujdes, sepse n\u00eb t\u00eb ardhmen mund t\u00eb rrezikoja t\u00eb mos b\u00ebja m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb. U ndjeva shum\u00eb keq dhe qava shum\u00eb. Nuk mund t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetesha as tek i fejuari, sepse ai m\u00eb dukej fajtori n\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb situat\u00eb. Sigurisht, faj pata edhe un\u00eb q\u00eb pranova t\u00eb abortoja, por \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebsh kur i fejuari t\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon se do t\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00ebse nuk e b\u00ebn nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb?<\/p>\n
Pas nj\u00ebfar\u00eb kohe, mbeta prap\u00eb shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb. Isha nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht e g\u00ebzuar q\u00eb kisha arritur t\u00eb ngelja p\u00ebrs\u00ebri me barr\u00eb, por edhe me frik\u00eb, sepse nuk dija si do t\u00eb reagonte ai. Megjithat\u00eb, e kisha vendosur: Sikur t\u00eb m\u00eb thoshte edhe k\u00ebsaj radhe t\u00eb abortoja, nuk do ta b\u00ebja, sepse nuk doja t\u00eb mbetesha p\u00ebrjet\u00eb pa f\u00ebmij\u00eb. P\u00ebr fat, k\u00ebsaj radhe ai pranoi ta mbanim f\u00ebmij\u00ebn dhe caktuam dat\u00ebn e dasm\u00ebs. Dukej sikur gj\u00ebrat m\u00eb n\u00eb fund po shkonin ashtu si\u00e7 duhej, por nuk ishte e th\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb vazhdonin gjithnj\u00eb k\u00ebshtu. Pas disa koh\u00ebsh mora vesh se ai i kishte propozuar nj\u00eb shoqes sime, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb ishte i fejuar me mua! Po p\u00ebrballesha me nj\u00eb situat\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb keqe, nuk dija \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebja. Nga nj\u00ebra an\u00eb ishte f\u00ebmija, i cili do t\u00eb kishte nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr baban\u00eb dhe nga ana tjet\u00ebr, i fejuari im, me numrat dhe mashtrimet e tij. Vendosa t\u00eb ndahesha, sepse ishte mbushur kupa plot dhe nuk mbante m\u00eb. U ndava dhe i thash\u00eb se nuk kishte m\u00eb pun\u00eb me mua. Sigurisht, ata t\u00eb familjes nuk dinin gj\u00eb dhe filluan t\u00eb m\u00eb kritikonin, duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se p\u00ebr hat\u00ebr t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs duhet t\u00eb harroja mosmarr\u00ebveshjet q\u00eb kishim, p\u00ebr t\u2019u bashkuar prap\u00eb. Kaluan disa muaj dhe presionet e f\u00ebmija m\u00eb shtyn\u00eb t\u00eb bashkohesha p\u00ebrs\u00ebri me t\u00eb fejuarin tim. Para nj\u00eb viti u martuam. B\u00ebm\u00eb nj\u00eb das\u00ebm t\u00eb madhe ku ftuam t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit tan\u00eb. Un\u00eb isha shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb dhe kur u b\u00ebra nuse m\u00eb ishte rritur barku goxha. Para disa muajsh, u b\u00ebra me vajz\u00eb. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb drita dhe g\u00ebzimi im. P\u00ebr fat, g\u00ebzon sh\u00ebndet t\u00eb plot\u00eb dhe mua m\u00eb duket sikur hallet e s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs i kam l\u00ebn\u00eb pas. Shpresoj t\u00eb vazhdoj\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebshtu dhe shpresoj me gjith\u00eb zem\u00ebr q\u00eb t\u00eb shkoj mir\u00eb me tim shoq…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb. Kam lindur n\u00eb fshat dhe jam rritur me mentalitetin e atjesh\u00ebm. Kur isha n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb t\u00eb mesme u dashurova me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00ebn time. Ai ishte dy vjet m\u00eb i madh se un\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb e mori vesh e para motra ime dhe ajo ia tha edhe mamit. Pasi mori […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9789","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9789","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9789"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9789\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9789"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9789"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9789"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}