{"id":9748,"date":"2015-06-23T18:00:19","date_gmt":"2015-06-23T16:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=9748"},"modified":"2015-06-23T12:17:26","modified_gmt":"2015-06-23T10:17:26","slug":"me-perdhunuan-ne-moshen-52-vjecare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/06\/me-perdhunuan-ne-moshen-52-vjecare\/","title":{"rendered":"M\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunuan n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 52 vje\u00e7are"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; Doktor Jashari, ju drejtohem nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht si v\u00eblla, si mik dhe si patriot. Jam ajo 52 vje\u00e7arja me banim n\u00eb Greqi, q\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb, m\u2019u desh t\u00eb p\u00ebrballesha me p\u00ebrdhunimin. Mezi po prisja t\u00eb shkoja te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi, te nip\u00ebr e mbesa, por kisha humbur rrug\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb qytet t\u00eb madh e t\u00eb zhurmsh\u00ebm dhe pagova nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonte. I k\u00ebrkova ndihm\u00eb sepse m\u2019u duk si burr\u00eb fisnik, kurse ai m\u00eb \u00e7oi s\u2019dihet se ku, m\u00eb dhunoi e m\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunoi, pinte dhe m\u00eb rrihte dhe un\u00eb, n\u00eb ato momente tmerri, me goj\u00ebn t\u00eb lidhur sikur po mbytesha, duhej t\u00eb duroja gjith\u00e7ka deri edhe kamzhiket e k\u00ebtij sadisti dhe format seksuale perverse q\u00eb as autorja e \u201c50 hijeve t\u00eb Greit\u201d nuk do t\u2019i p\u00ebrshkruante dot. Ne kemi folur dhe nga af\u00ebr p\u00ebr problemin q\u00eb kalova, p\u00ebr aq v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi k\u00ebtu n\u00eb dh\u00e9 t\u00eb huaj, por k\u00ebt\u00eb problem e kam p\u00ebrs\u00ebri dhe nuk flas dot me njeri. Ndjej nj\u00eb lodhje t\u00eb tmerrshme psikologjike, shpirt\u00ebrore, sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsore, etj. por t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn time dua ta nxjerr, sikur t\u00eb jem n\u00eb or\u00ebn e fundit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Ju lutem t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjeni n\u00eb gazet\u00eb, t\u2019i jepni r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi letr\u00ebs sime dhe t\u00eb m\u00eb thoni se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj. Si ta vazhdoj k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7udnuar? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em><u>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/u><\/em><\/strong> &#8211; E nderuara 52 vje\u00e7are! Gjat\u00eb seancave q\u00eb b\u00ebm\u00eb, pash\u00eb te ju nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb donte t\u00eb vdiste, por edhe e kuptonte se s\u2019duhej t\u00eb vdiste, se jeta duhet vazhduar qoft\u00eb edhe e gjymtuar apo edhe n\u00eb rrethanat e saj m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira, se jet\u00ebn e jep dhe e merr vet\u00ebm Zoti dhe \u00e7do njeri q\u00eb do t\u00eb nd\u00ebrpres\u00eb jet\u00ebn e vet apo t\u00eb dikujt tjet\u00ebr, edhe sipas librave t\u00eb shenjt\u00eb, b\u00ebn nj\u00eb nd\u00ebr \u201cgjynahet e r\u00ebnda\u201d. P\u00ebr fatin e mir\u00eb, ju, zonja 52 vje\u00e7are, jeni edhe besimtare, lexuese e Bibl\u00ebs dhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gj\u00eb shum\u00eb e mir\u00eb, pasi Bibla dhe Kurani i shenjt\u00eb jan\u00eb dy thesare t\u00eb kultur\u00ebs bot\u00ebrore. Un\u00eb ju pyeta se sikur ta gjenit p\u00ebrdhunuesin dhe t\u2019ju jepej leje p\u00ebr ta vrar\u00eb, a do ta vrisnit? U g\u00ebzova kur d\u00ebgjova p\u00ebrgjigjen tuaj logjike e t\u00eb d\u00ebshiruar: \u201cjo, nuk e vras dot se jam besimtare, por as nuk e fal dot\u201d. Ju m\u00eb pyesni n\u00ebse mund ta vazhdoni k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7unduar. Po ju tregoj nj\u00eb anekdot\u00eb: Dy miq t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr, t\u00eb masakruar n\u00eb kampin fam\u00ebkeq nazist Holokaust, por q\u00eb kishin shp\u00ebtuar t\u00eb gjall\u00eb, pas shum\u00eb vitesh takohen dhe i pari e pyet mikun e tij: \u201cA i ke falur nazist\u00ebt?\u201d. \u201cBah! Un\u00eb i urrej ata p\u00ebr vdekje, madje kam nj\u00eb urrejtje q\u00eb sa vjen e po m\u00eb shtohet\u201d, u p\u00ebrgjigj ai. \u201cAt\u00ebher\u00eb, i shpjegoi miku i tij, ti qenke ende i burgosuri i tyre\u201d. Ndaj e dashur let\u00ebrshkruese, mbani mend se vet\u00ebm p\u00ebrdhunuesi \u00ebsht\u00eb fajtor, nuk jeni ju. Pse t\u00eb vuani sikur t\u00eb jeni ju fajtorja?! Jeta rrjedh si lumi, ndiqeni at\u00eb, mbajeni \u201ctimonin\u201d e vark\u00ebs dhe mos u m\u00ebrzitni. N\u00eb po at\u00eb lum\u00eb do t\u00eb shihni t\u00eb mbytur edhe armiqt\u00eb tuaj.<\/p>\n<p>Un\u00eb e di shum\u00eb mir\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunojn\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 52 vje\u00e7are. Edhe un\u00eb si psikolog, e nderuara let\u00ebrshkruese, nga rr\u00ebfimet tuaja rr\u00ebnqeth\u00ebse, sado me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb q\u00eb jam, nuk kam fjetur at\u00eb nat\u00eb; por kur dikush na l\u00ebndon ose na m\u00ebrzit shum\u00eb, Zoti thot\u00eb: \u201cFale dhe harroje p\u00ebrndryshe do t\u00eb infektohesh me nj\u00eb \u201cvirus\u201d i cili do t\u00eb kontrolloj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde t\u00eb t\u00eb menduarit, t\u00eb t\u00eb vepruarit dhe t\u00eb folurit\u201d. Ja pse edhe Jezusi n\u00eb \u00e7astin kur po e kryq\u00ebzonin tha q\u00eb \u201ct\u00eb lutemi p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb na keqtrajtojn\u00eb\u201d&#8230; Ja pse Jezusi iu lut Zotit, duke th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cFali o Zot pasi ata nuk din\u00eb se \u00e7\u2018b\u00ebjn\u00eb\u201d. (Luka 23:34) \u00c7liroje kujtes\u00ebn nga kjo q\u00eb ka ndodhur, braktise, harroje, pranoje si di\u00e7ka e q\u00eb nuk e kthen dot pas, shih p\u00ebrpara dhe jo pas, pra, jeto pa kujtuar dhe jo k\u00ebshtu, duke qar\u00eb e duke vuajtur&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Nga letra jote un\u00eb arrij t\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoj se ti ende nuk je \u00e7liruar nga ajo q\u00eb ndodhi sepse ti ishe rritur si nj\u00eb grua e kulturuar e me arsim t\u00eb lart\u00eb pedagogjik dhe nuk e kishe imagjinuar kurr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb jetosh n\u00eb emigracion larg Atdheut e nx\u00ebn\u00ebsve t\u00eb tu, aq m\u00eb pak se n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb planet t\u00eb ket\u00eb njer\u00ebz aq t\u00eb k\u00ebqinj, maniak\u00eb seksual\u00eb, pervers\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00ebndojn\u00eb aq shum\u00eb. Un\u00eb, si psikolog me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, autor i shum\u00eb librave e mij\u00ebra leksionesh e di shum\u00eb mir\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb tmerri p\u00ebrjeton nj\u00eb grua e p\u00ebrdhunuar, aq sa nga p\u00ebrvoja ime, u kam th\u00ebn\u00eb shpesh edhe student\u00ebve t\u00eb mi se nuk ka gj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebsthir\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00ebn e profesionin ton\u00eb sesa rikuperimi i nj\u00eb femre t\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunuar e mos e paft\u00eb askush at\u00eb fat t\u00eb keq, pasi edhe pas vitesh me radh\u00eb, dhimbja vazhdon, tmerri gjithashtu n\u00eb syt\u00eb fjetur e t\u00eb zgjuar, se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eblloj sikur t\u00eb rikuperosh nj\u00eb statuj\u00eb t\u00eb ndar\u00eb copash aq sa vet\u00eb e p\u00ebrdhunuara n\u00eb mjaft raste thot\u00eb: m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb kisha vdekur(!).<\/p>\n<p>Ka prej tyre q\u00eb nuk munden m\u00eb ta durojn\u00eb ndoshta as jet\u00ebn seksuale normale pasi mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb kaluar n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje negativizmi t\u00eb theksuar. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, ti nuk i ke p\u00ebsuar k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra dhe fakti q\u00eb ke arritur t\u2019ua fsheh\u00ebsh familjar\u00ebve k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje dhe t\u2019i duash m\u00eb shum\u00eb ata, tregon se ti e ke kaluar at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet hapi i par\u00eb q\u00eb duhej t\u00eb b\u00ebje, pra, t\u00eb p\u00ebrballesh me ndjenjat e tua edhe pse l\u00ebndimi \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i thell\u00eb dhe fshehja n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, shum\u00eb shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, as ngjarja, as fshehja, nuk jan\u00eb munges\u00eb morali apo sinqeriteti. Ja p\u00ebrse ke nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb lutesh: Zot ma ndrysho zemr\u00ebn time dhe sh\u00ebroje shpirtin tim t\u00eb ndar\u00eb n\u00eb copa!<\/p>\n<p>Un\u00eb, si psikolog, nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht dua t\u00eb t\u00eb them: Bravo t\u00eb qoft\u00eb q\u00eb erdhe enkas nga jasht\u00eb dhe takove psikologun, ke vepruar si nj\u00eb zonj\u00eb tep\u00ebr e zgjuar, pasi n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste problemi diskutohet vet\u00ebm me psikologun dhe juristin. T\u00eb lumt\u00eb q\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebrhape k\u00ebt\u00eb lajm \u2013 murtaj\u00eb, duke e plasur si nj\u00eb \u201cbomb\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Prandaj ti me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb thua se Zoti ia l\u00ebshon problemet atij q\u00eb di t\u2019i mbaj\u00eb.<\/p>\n<p>Por ai q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson mua \u00ebsht\u00eb numri i pak\u00ebt i seancave q\u00eb ti ke b\u00ebr\u00eb, pasi m\u00eb e keqja nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb t\u00eb ndodhi sesa ajo q\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb lidhur me k\u00ebto kujtime tep\u00ebr t\u00eb hidhura, q\u00eb as n\u00eb filma nuk mund t\u2019i realizojn\u00eb dot ashtu si\u00e7 m\u2019i tregoje ti. \u00cbsht\u00eb nd\u00ebr rastet e rralla q\u00eb un\u00eb them se m\u00eb mir\u00eb se ti, nuk e di e nuk e gjen dot autorin. Aq u trondita saq\u00eb tek un\u00eb nuk funksionoi parimi yn\u00eb profesional se halli i tjetrit \u00ebsht\u00eb i tjetrit e mos u p\u00ebrfshij. Un\u00eb arrita t\u00eb kuptoja se doja t\u00eb punoja me ty, m\u00eb shum\u00eb se p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka, p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb respektit p\u00ebr ty, p\u00ebr bukurin\u00eb t\u00ebnde shpirt\u00ebrore e zgjuarsin\u00eb gati hyjnore.<\/p>\n<p>Si p\u00ebrfundim, mendoj se ti ke ende nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr trajtim (i cili do t\u00eb jet\u00eb falas) pasi nuk do t\u00eb mjaftonin as mij\u00ebra faqe si p\u00ebrgjigje p\u00ebr ty. Edhe nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb kam p\u00ebr ty: \u201cIzolo si bleta\u201d. A e di se \u00e7\u2019b\u00ebjn\u00eb blet\u00ebt po t\u2019u futet n\u00eb koshere nj\u00eb brumbull, nj\u00eb krimb apo mi i vog\u00ebl? E pickojn\u00eb, e ngordhin dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb e izolojn\u00eb me dyllin e fresk\u00ebt dhe direkt mbi t\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb duke nd\u00ebrtuar hojet me mjalt\u00eb, pa u marr\u00eb fare me t\u00eb. Analizoje&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; Doktor Jashari, ju drejtohem nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht si v\u00eblla, si mik dhe si patriot. Jam ajo 52 vje\u00e7arja me banim n\u00eb Greqi, q\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb, m\u2019u desh t\u00eb p\u00ebrballesha me p\u00ebrdhunimin. Mezi po prisja t\u00eb shkoja te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi, te nip\u00ebr e mbesa, por kisha humbur rrug\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb qytet t\u00eb madh e t\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9748","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9748"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9748\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}