{"id":9584,"date":"2015-06-09T17:00:46","date_gmt":"2015-06-09T15:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=9584"},"modified":"2015-06-09T11:04:41","modified_gmt":"2015-06-09T09:04:41","slug":"tako-shume-burra-qe-te-zgjedhesh-te-duhurin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2015\/06\/tako-shume-burra-qe-te-zgjedhesh-te-duhurin\/","title":{"rendered":"Tako shum\u00eb burra, q\u00eb t\u00eb zgjedh\u00ebsh t\u00eb duhurin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Ke takuar nj\u00eb djal\u00eb simpatik, q\u00eb mendon se \u00ebsht\u00eb dhurat\u00eb e qiellit. P\u00ebr momentin ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i p\u00ebrkryer p\u00ebr ty&#8230; Pastaj ai fillon t\u00eb hapet (sepse edhe ti i p\u00eblqen) dhe thot\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb mos ndjehesh rehat, ose q\u00eb t\u00eb duket e \u00e7uditshme. Ja ku u ngrit\u00ebn disa barrikada t\u00eb padukshme mes teje dhe atij. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb pjes\u00ebs tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb takimit ti do t\u00eb mendosh \u201cPse e tha di\u00e7ka t\u00eb till\u00eb?\u201d. N\u00eb fund t\u00eb takimit, ai ka mbetur i hutuar dhe ti gjithashtu. K\u00ebshtu, do t\u00eb pyes\u00ebsh veten se pse tre dit\u00eb pas takimit, ai akoma nuk t\u00eb ka marr\u00eb n\u00eb telefon&#8230; <\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Mos u tremb!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ne grat\u00eb, jemi t\u00eb zonjat p\u00ebr t\u00eb predikuar \u201cstandardet e mira\u201d, p\u00ebr shembull: t\u00eb jesh i sjellsh\u00ebm, t\u00eb mos e gjykosh tjetrin para kohe, t\u00eb jesh i mir\u00eb dhe i v\u00ebmendsh\u00ebm. Megjithat\u00eb, nuk jemi t\u00eb afta p\u00ebr t\u2019i v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb praktik\u00eb kur vjen puna te takimet dashurore. Kur fjala \u201ctakim\u201d hyn n\u00eb mendjen ton\u00eb, ngrihen disa barrikada dhe paragjykime&#8230; t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. Pse ndodh kjo? Sepse kemi frik\u00eb mos na l\u00ebndojn\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. L\u00ebndimi emocional \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb i keq se ai fizik, ndaj vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj frike, ne nuk do t\u00eb hezitonim aspak t\u00eb hiqnim dor\u00eb nga nj\u00eb njohje v\u00ebrtet interesante&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Megjith\u00ebse na duket shum\u00eb normale t\u00eb praktikohemi p\u00ebr nj\u00eb intervist\u00eb pune, t\u00eb st\u00ebrvitemi p\u00ebr nj\u00eb maraton\u00eb dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb joga p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsuar elasticitetin ton\u00eb, na duket e pamendueshme t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb praktik\u00eb p\u00ebr takimet. Ne mendojm\u00eb se \u201cI duhuri\u201d do t\u00eb shfaqet n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb magjike kur t\u2019i vij\u00eb koha. Detaje t\u00eb tilla t\u00eb \u201cvogla\u201d, si fakti q\u00eb edhe ne duhet t\u00eb jemi emocionalisht dhe fizikisht \u201ct\u00eb gatshme\u201d kur \u201cAi\u201d t\u00eb shfaqet, nuk na shkojn\u00eb fare n\u00ebp\u00ebr mend. Fakti q\u00eb ke ngritur pengesa tregon se ti ke bllokuar nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb me rastin e par\u00eb t\u00eb panikut. \u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebsh p\u00ebr t\u00eb shtuar shanset e partnerit t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm? Po, ashtu si n\u00eb nj\u00eb st\u00ebrvitje fizike, duhet t\u00eb vazhdosh t\u00eb praktikosh takimet. Ja, disa k\u00ebshilla p\u00ebr t\u2019u ndjekur:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Kur je gati t\u00eb takosh nj\u00eb djal\u00eb q\u00eb ia vlen, b\u00ebji vend atij n\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde. Megjith\u00ebse ti je ende duke e k\u00ebrkuar, koha q\u00eb supozohet t\u00eb kaloni s\u00eb bashku n\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb ardhme jo shum\u00eb t\u00eb larg\u00ebt, duhet t\u2019u dedikohet ekskluzivisht aktiviteteve q\u00eb do t\u00eb zhvilloni s\u00eb bashku. Pra, b\u00ebhu gati t\u2019i dedikosh atij koh\u00ebn e duhur. N\u00ebse p\u00ebr momentin nuk njeh ndonj\u00eb partner potencial, at\u00ebher\u00eb kushtoji koh\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitjes s\u00eb takimit dhe karakteristikave q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon te nj\u00eb burr\u00eb. Pasi ta kesh b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, do t\u00eb jesh m\u00eb e gatshme p\u00ebr takime t\u00eb reja.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Mos gjyko vet\u00ebm me nj\u00eb takim. Shum\u00eb grave u duken takimet nj\u00eb eksperienc\u00eb e dhimbshme. Disa e p\u00ebrballojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb me trim\u00ebri. E v\u00ebrteta \u00ebsht\u00eb se \u00e7dokush mund t\u00eb l\u00ebndohet pak gjat\u00eb procesit t\u00eb k\u00ebrkimit dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb jesh e p\u00ebrgatitur.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Puno me veten p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur m\u00eb shum\u00eb vet\u00ebbesim, jo arroganc\u00eb. Ekziston nj\u00eb vij\u00eb e holl\u00eb mes k\u00ebtyre t\u00eb dyjave. Ti mund t\u00eb jesh e sjellshme, e qet\u00eb dhe me besim n\u00eb vetvete. Disa djem, kur p\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje, duken agresiv\u00eb. Kjo ndodh ngaq\u00eb atyre u mungon besimi n\u00eb vetvete. Sigurohu t\u00eb mos b\u00ebsh t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin gabim.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Kur vjen puna te takimet, grat\u00eb shpesh bazohen tek intuita. Si rezultat, ndodh shpesh q\u00eb ato q\u00eb kan\u00eb pak besim n\u00eb vetvete, t\u00eb bien n\u00eb kurthin e nj\u00eb djali q\u00eb di t\u00eb \u201cshes\u00eb\u201d veten. Grat\u00eb shpesh mendojn\u00eb se ekziston nj\u00eb lloj t\u00ebrheqjeje kimike, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb ato thjesht impresionohen nga aft\u00ebsia e djalit p\u00ebr t\u00eb shk\u00eblqyer. Zhg\u00ebnjimi vjen vet\u00ebm m\u00eb von\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu pra, n\u00ebse nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb duket interesant dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb qesh\u00ebsh, por nuk ndjen af\u00ebrsi, ose di\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr ndaj tij, jepi atij edhe nj\u00eb ose dy shanse t\u00eb tjera. Edhe djemt\u00eb krijojn\u00eb barrierat e tyre n\u00eb takimin e par\u00eb, prandaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb krijohet af\u00ebrsia q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Vazhdo takimet, n\u00eb internet, jasht\u00eb tij&#8230; Ti do t\u00eb takosh shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb rinj, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhen miqt\u00eb e tu, ose ata mund t\u00eb t\u00eb prezantojn\u00eb dik\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i duhuri p\u00ebr ty. Dhe, n\u00ebse nj\u00eb shoqe t\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se e ka kuptuar q\u00eb n\u00eb takimin e par\u00eb se ai ishte \u201cI duhuri\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb, ajo ndoshta nuk do q\u00eb ti t\u00eb m\u00ebsosh se sa bretk\u00eb ka puthur para atij takimi me \u201cprincin\u201d&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ke takuar nj\u00eb djal\u00eb simpatik, q\u00eb mendon se \u00ebsht\u00eb dhurat\u00eb e qiellit. P\u00ebr momentin ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i p\u00ebrkryer p\u00ebr ty&#8230; Pastaj ai fillon t\u00eb hapet (sepse edhe ti i p\u00eblqen) dhe thot\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb mos ndjehesh rehat, ose q\u00eb t\u00eb duket e \u00e7uditshme. Ja ku u ngrit\u00ebn disa barrikada t\u00eb padukshme mes [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9584","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9584","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9584"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9584\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9584"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9584"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9584"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}