– Jam fejuar me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb cilin e njoh prej vitesh tashm\u00eb dhe jemi gati p\u00ebr t\u2019u martuar. Problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb se kam zbuluar nj\u00eb ves t\u00eb keq tek ai; luan shum\u00eb bixhoz. E kisha v\u00ebn\u00eb re pak, por thoja q\u00eb nuk i ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb ves. I kam th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebse vazhdon k\u00ebshtu, kam frik\u00eb se do t\u00eb shkat\u00ebrrohet marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia jon\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb thot\u00eb se do ta l\u00ebr\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebri e kuptoj q\u00eb e ka vazhduar. Nuk di si t\u00eb veproj. Si ta ndihmoj q\u00eb ta l\u00ebr\u00eb bixhozin?
\nMarsela Marsi, psikologe: – E kuptoj shum\u00eb mir\u00eb problemin tuaj, sepse bixhozi \u00ebsht\u00eb jo thjesht nj\u00eb ves; ai shnd\u00ebrrohet n\u00eb nj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje q\u00eb shkat\u00ebrron shum\u00eb familje dhe \u00e7ifte n\u00eb dit\u00ebt e sotme. \u00cbsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb nj\u00eb person q\u00eb ka r\u00ebn\u00eb pre e k\u00ebsaj s\u00ebmundjeje, t\u00eb heq\u00eb dor\u00eb prej saj. Ai me siguri, do t\u00eb gjej\u00eb shum\u00eb justifikime p\u00ebr kthimin e rikthimin e tij te bixhozi. Do t\u00eb duhej q\u00eb ai t\u00eb kishte nj\u00eb vullnet t\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonsh\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb mund ta kap\u00ebrcente k\u00ebt\u00eb var\u00ebsi, gj\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb ia uroj edhe t\u00eb fejuarit tuaj. Ajo q\u00eb ju k\u00ebshilloj juve, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ta mb\u00ebshtesni moralisht dhe t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoni t\u00eb heq\u00eb dor\u00eb nj\u00eb her\u00eb e mir\u00eb nga ky ves. N\u00ebse edhe k\u00ebshtu nuk heq dor\u00eb, do ju sugjeroja t\u00eb rrezikoni marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien tuaj, duke iu larguar. Ndoshta me munges\u00ebn tuaj do ta kuptoj\u00eb gabimin dhe do t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb. Po k\u00ebshtu, shikoni se \u00e7far\u00eb shoq\u00ebrie ka, sepse ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo e fundit q\u00eb ndikon p\u00ebr keq. N\u00ebse n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb e tij ka nga ata q\u00eb luajn\u00eb bixhoz, flisni edhe me ata dhe mundohuni ta largoni prej tyre. Flisni edhe me familjen e djalit, me babain, nj\u00eb v\u00eblla, mot\u00ebr apo me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e tij dhe shikoni \u00e7far\u00eb q\u00ebndrimi mbajn\u00eb ata. Ju k\u00ebshilloj ta ngrini me forc\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb problem, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb edhe ata t\u00eb flasin me t\u00eb dhe ta ndihmoni t\u00eb gjith\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb heq\u00eb dor\u00eb nga ky ves. Nj\u00eb zgjidhje shum\u00eb e mir\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte ta afronit t\u00eb fejuarin me fen\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn, bixhozi \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nga m\u00ebkatet m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnda. Duke e kuptuar r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e asaj q\u00eb po b\u00ebn, ndoshta atij do t\u2019i hapen syt\u00eb e t\u00eb shoh\u00eb m\u00eb qart\u00eb se ku po e \u00e7on jet\u00ebn e tij.
\nUroj q\u00eb ta zgjidhni sa m\u00eb shpejt k\u00ebt\u00eb problem tuajin, megjithat\u00eb, ju k\u00ebrkoj t\u00eb tregoheni n\u00eb nj\u00ebfar\u00eb m\u00ebnyre egoiste dhe kam ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb p\u00ebr ju: N\u00ebse e shikoni se ai nuk heq dor\u00eb (ose heq dor\u00eb dhe rikthehet, gj\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe m\u00eb e keqe sepse ai k\u00ebshtu do t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb), ju k\u00ebshilloj t\u00eb hiqni dor\u00eb ju prej tij! \u00cbsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e rrezikshme t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtosh familje me nj\u00eb person q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i varur nga bixhozi. Mund t\u2019ju duket paksa e r\u00ebnd\u00eb kjo k\u00ebshill\u00eb sepse ju e doni, ashtu si\u00e7 mund t\u2019u duket e r\u00ebnd\u00eb atyre q\u00eb e lexojn\u00eb tani k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje, ama mos harroni se ata q\u00eb vuajn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb nga bixhizxhinjt\u00eb, jan\u00eb personat e tyre m\u00eb t\u00eb af\u00ebrm. Sigurisht, vuan edhe bixhozxhiu, por n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00ebsht\u00eb gabimi i tij dhe ai meriton ta vuaj\u00eb, p\u00ebr sa koh\u00eb nuk i largohet atij gabimi. Askush nuk ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u2019ia nxij\u00eb jet\u00ebn nj\u00eb tjetri, sepse nuk heq dot dor\u00eb nga vesi i tij shkat\u00ebrrimtar. Ju uroj durim dhe k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulje, por mbi t\u00eb gjitha, vendosm\u00ebri p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb vendimin e duhur n\u00eb \u00e7do koh\u00eb. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Jam fejuar me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb cilin e njoh prej vitesh tashm\u00eb dhe jemi gati p\u00ebr t\u2019u martuar. Problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb se kam zbuluar nj\u00eb ves t\u00eb keq tek ai; luan shum\u00eb bixhoz. E kisha v\u00ebn\u00eb re pak, por thoja q\u00eb nuk i ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb ves. I kam th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00ebse vazhdon k\u00ebshtu, kam frik\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}