– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje i nderuar psikolog! Jam Albani 39 vje\u00e7. Gruaja ime \u00ebsht\u00eb 36 vje\u00e7e. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb thot\u00eb gruaja, un\u00eb acarohem dhe nuk e duroj dot, madje m\u00eb fillon nj\u00eb si dhembje prapa kok\u00ebs. M\u00eb pas fillon z\u00ebnka. Duhet t\u00eb them se gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb pak e ashp\u00ebr dhe k\u00ebrkon perfeksion n\u00eb past\u00ebrti, do q\u00eb \u00e7do send t\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb vendin e vet, etj. \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj q\u00eb t\u00eb mos stresohem kaq shum\u00eb prej saj? \u00c7far\u00eb po ndodh me mua, ju lutem?
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – Le ta fillojm\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjen me pak humor, i nderuar lexues. Letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde e lexoi edhe ime shoqe dhe m\u00eb tha fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr fjal\u00eb: \u201cLum si ai p\u00ebr at\u00eb grua q\u00eb paska!\u201d. U p\u00ebrpoqa t\u2019ia shpjegoj gruas sime jo si burr\u00eb n\u00eb mbrojtje t\u00eb burrave, por si psikolog, se t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat gj\u00ebra, t\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritura apo gjithmon\u00eb nj\u00eblloj, krijojn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet lodhje ose akumulim ngacmuesish si rezultat i st\u00ebrp\u00ebrs\u00ebritjes. Qoft\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb kaset\u00eb e bukur, imagjinoni sikur ta d\u00ebgjonim shum\u00eb her\u00eb, \u00e7do dit\u00eb pa pushim… Do t\u00eb vinte nj\u00eb moment q\u00eb edhe melodit\u00eb e saj t\u00eb bukura do t\u00eb na bezdisnin e m\u00eb tej edhe do t\u00eb na acaronin. Imagjino pastaj z\u00ebri nervoz i gruas s\u00eb k\u00ebtij let\u00ebrshkruesi, q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi perfeksion me rregullin e past\u00ebrtive! Imagjino sa e acaron ajo burrin e shkret\u00eb, i cili mund t\u00eb vij\u00eb i lodhur e i stresuar e q\u00eb vet\u00eb ai ka ndoshta nevoj\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cshkarkohet\u201d n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Gruaja e tij mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb shum\u00eb e zonja, pun\u00ebtore, past\u00ebrtore e \u201cmadhe\u201d, por nga ana tjet\u00ebr, ajo mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb \u201ctep\u00ebr\u201d dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb e tep\u00ebrt, deri edhe e mira e tep\u00ebrt, kthehet n\u00eb obsesion e n\u00eb t\u00eb keqen e s\u00eb mir\u00ebs. Kjo grua mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb edhe pak psikovampire pedante e me ato rregullat e saj strikte krijon bezdi e parehati n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Edhe populli thot\u00eb \u201cmos i bjer lodr\u00ebs vet\u00ebm n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend, se griset\u201d. Llojet e psikovampir\u00ebve jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumt\u00eb, deri edhe psikovampiri i sjellsh\u00ebm tep\u00ebr konformist. Kjo grua, mbase m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa rregullin, ka at\u00eb \u201cmanin\u00eb\u201d q\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt t\u00eb rrin\u00eb \u201csus\u201d para saj.
\nPor, ka edhe nj\u00eb rast tjet\u00ebr… n\u00ebse testimi psikologjik do ta nxjerr\u00eb me OLD (\u00e7rregullime obsesive kompulsive), ajo duhet ndihmuar dhe m\u00ebshiruar p\u00ebr vuajtjet e saj. \u00c7\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb jesh me OLD, n\u00eb rastin e saj? Do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se mungesa e past\u00ebrtis\u00eb dhe t\u00eb rregullit i shkaktojn\u00eb ankth e vuajtje dhe rregullin ajo e k\u00ebrkon jo aq si nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, sesa si nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb saj\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb zbutur ankthin.
\nPo t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, ajo duhet t\u00eb trajtohet me psikolog deri 13-15 seanca dhe burrit do t\u2019i b\u00ebja \u201cthirrje\u201d q\u00eb ta duroj\u00eb at\u00eb si nj\u00eb \u201cfajtore e pafaj\u201d derisa t\u00eb sh\u00ebrohet me psikoterapi dhe me ila\u00e7e, mund\u00ebsisht bimore. Ime shoqe, p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto q\u00eb i thash\u00eb m\u00eb d\u00ebgjoi me vemendje, por me sa duket, nuk m\u00eb kuptoi plot\u00ebsisht dhe shtoi: \u201cPo, imagjino nj\u00ebher\u00eb, kur un\u00eb sapo kisha lar\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e ti u fute me nxitim, nuk m\u00eb dhe as p\u00ebrgjigje dhe pa i hequr k\u00ebpucet u fute p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur nj\u00eb let\u00ebr e rrokullise nj\u00eb komodin\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb. Si t\u00eb mos nxehesha un\u00eb?!\u201d. Qesha dhe m\u2019u kujtua edhe mua ky moment, kur dikujt po i ikte avioni e un\u00eb duhej t\u2019i jepja me urgjenc\u00eb nj\u00eb dokument q\u00eb i duhej dhe nuk po e gjeja, pasi e kisha fshehur p\u00ebr ta ruajtur.
\nN\u00eb fakt, kisha mund\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb edhe pse me nxitim, t\u2019ia thoja nj\u00eb \u201cm\u00eb fal\u201d, por nuk e thash\u00eb! E ktheva me humor situat\u00ebn, duke i treguar p\u00ebr nj\u00eb mikun tim t\u00eb zgjuar nga mal\u00ebsia, i cili ka nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb sert\u00eb dhe thot\u00eb: \u201cKu t\u00eb vete un\u00eb i ziu? Shkoj n\u00eb mal, m\u00eb ha arusha, shkoj n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, m\u00eb mbyt Prenusha\u201d. Gruaja qeshi dhe u ndje m\u00eb mir\u00eb.
\nTani desha t\u00eb flas pak me ty Alban, se ti me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb m\u00eb pyet n\u00eb let\u00ebr \u00e7ka po ndodh me ty. S\u00eb pari, dua t\u00eb them se edhe ti je tip i mbindjesh\u00ebm, sepse k\u00ebshtu je gatuar, ndaj edhe stresin, ankthin q\u00eb t\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb ngacmuesit e jasht\u00ebm, i p\u00ebrjeton me dhimbje koke. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebnyra se si reagon organizmi yt ndaj nj\u00eb stresi ose \u201cngacmuesi\u201d i cili n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb kronik e gati \u201ckonstant\u201d. N\u00eb t\u00eb tilla raste, dikush skuqet, dikush zverdhet, dikujt i l\u00ebviz tensioni, kurse ty t\u00eb dhemb koka. Ti duhet t\u00eb vish p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb ca seanca me psikoterapi p\u00ebr dy q\u00ebllime: S\u00eb pari, q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh paksa \u201ci pandjesh\u00ebm\u201d dhe t\u00eb durosh pa u shqet\u00ebsuar k\u00ebto veti negative t\u00eb gruas, pasi ajo mund t\u2019i \u201ckompensoj\u00eb\u201d ato me shum\u00eb cil\u00ebsi t\u00eb tjera pozitive e ndoshta t\u00eb rralla. Si\u00e7 thuhet, \u00e7do mal, ka bor\u00ebn e vet mbi supe. Fjala vjen, dikush e ka gruan xheloze, dikush e ka nevrike, dikush dor\u00ebshpuar e dikush tjet\u00ebr mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb \u201cantipodin\u201d e k\u00ebsaj t\u00ebndes, q\u00eb nuk durohet me heshtjen e saj apo m\u00eb keq, q\u00eb i rri ora 12.00 edhe pse n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi nuk ka rregull, past\u00ebrti, gatim, etj.
\nTi, ndoshta edhe me ndihm\u00ebn time, duhet t\u2019ia shpjegosh gruas se ky lloj \u201creagimi\u201d i saj po t\u00eb b\u00ebhet si nj\u00eb \u201csistem alarmi\u201d, aq sa t\u00eb kap frika t\u00eb vish n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi se nuk durohet as ajo e as dhimbja e kok\u00ebs, se ti nuk di se si ta nxjerr\u00ebsh inatin, por e grumbullon nga brenda dhe t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto po t\u00eb mbingarkojn\u00eb e po t\u00eb krijohet mbistres. Kjo lloj \u201ckocke\u201d e patretur n\u00eb stomak do pak \u201cacid psikologjik\u201d q\u00eb t\u00eb mos na kthehet n\u00eb \u201ckancer psikologjik\u201d.
\nNdoshta un\u00eb e teprova pak me k\u00ebta terma, por dua q\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjen time ta lexoj\u00eb edhe gruaja jote sepse ajo nuk e di se i shoqi i saj, Albani, tani rri si mbi gjemba, si n\u00eb \u201cp\u00ebrgjim\u201d, pasi edhe kur gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rregull dhe e qet\u00eb, ajo do ta gjej\u00eb di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u2019u shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb na shqet\u00ebsuar, se edhe asaj i \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb si zakon. E mira do t\u00eb ishte q\u00eb ju t\u00eb vinit t\u00eb dy p\u00ebr nj\u00eb seanc\u00eb q\u00eb quhet psikoterapi \u00e7ifti, pasi \u00e7do \u00e7ift, ka gjithmon\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb rregulloj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb mir\u00eb e m\u00eb mir\u00eb. N\u00ebse vini, zonj\u00ebs suaj do t\u2019i dhuroj nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr me titull \u201cSekrete p\u00ebr meshkujt q\u00eb duhet t\u2019i dij\u00eb \u00e7do fem\u00ebr\u201d, t\u00eb cilin jo pa q\u00ebllim e kam p\u00ebrkthyer. Numrin dhe adres\u00ebn time i gjeni si gjithmon\u00eb te gazeta \u201cIntervista\u201d. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje i nderuar psikolog! Jam Albani 39 vje\u00e7. Gruaja ime \u00ebsht\u00eb 36 vje\u00e7e. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb thot\u00eb gruaja, un\u00eb acarohem dhe nuk e duroj dot, madje m\u00eb fillon nj\u00eb si dhembje prapa kok\u00ebs. M\u00eb pas fillon z\u00ebnka. Duhet t\u00eb them se gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb pak e ashp\u00ebr dhe k\u00ebrkon perfeksion n\u00eb past\u00ebrti, do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9115\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}