– Jam nj\u00eb studente e sapodiplomuar, q\u00eb kam nj\u00eb droje e nj\u00eb pasiguri q\u00eb m\u00eb ka stepur gjithmon\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me njer\u00ebzit, n\u00eb pun\u00eb, n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb e kudo. Pran\u00eb kam shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz e shoq\u00ebri q\u00eb m\u00eb duan t\u00eb mir\u00ebn. Shumica prej tyre jan\u00eb njer\u00ebz shum\u00eb aktiv\u00eb e me siguri te vetja, gj\u00eb q\u00eb mua m\u00eb mungon. Shoh \u00e7do dit\u00eb q\u00eb ata e kan\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb zgjidhur nj\u00eb problem q\u00eb mund t\u2019u lind\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me njer\u00ebzit, qoft\u00eb edhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtuar nj\u00eb mall t\u00eb bler\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb dyqan, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb e kam shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, pasi m\u00eb duket sikur njer\u00ebzit do t\u00eb m\u00eb kthehen keq dhe s\u2019do t\u00eb mund ta p\u00ebrballoj konfliktin. Gjithmon\u00eb e kam ditur q\u00eb kam nj\u00eb pasiguri t\u00eb theksuar dhe besim t\u00eb ul\u00ebt te vetja. Dua ta kem \u00e7do gj\u00eb perfekte n\u00eb fizikun tim dhe n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn si komunikoj me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Duke qen\u00eb se nuk e arrij dot at\u00eb modelin e krijuar n\u00eb kok\u00ebn time, m\u00ebrzitem e zhytem m\u00eb thell\u00eb n\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimin tim duke b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos kem m\u00eb fuqi t\u00eb mendoj bukur. Kjo ndoshta sepse kam menduar se modelet q\u00eb kam patur un\u00eb, e kan\u00eb e kan\u00eb pasur shum\u00eb t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb t\u00eb ecin, qoft\u00eb me fizikun, qoft\u00eb me moskok\u00eb\u00e7arjen e tyre ndaj faktit se do t\u2019i m\u00ebrzisin njer\u00ebzit. Kam menduar gjithmon\u00eb se k\u00ebt\u00eb pasiguri dhe munges\u00eb vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi ose pesimiz\u00ebm, i kam t\u00eb lindura, pjes\u00eb t\u00eb karakterit tim. Gjithmon\u00eb i kam ndar\u00eb njer\u00ebzit n\u00eb pesimist\u00eb dhe optimist\u00eb. K\u00ebta optimist\u00ebt e kan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb bukur dhe t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb jet\u00ebn. Ndoshta historit\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb ndikuar n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time ma kan\u00eb shtuar m\u00eb shum\u00eb pasigurin\u00eb. Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb ka qen\u00eb shp\u00ebrngulja n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb n\u00eb klas\u00ebn e shtat\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb nga shkollat m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira t\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs, ku ka pasur shum\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb llastuar. Ajo p\u00ebrballje n\u00eb nj\u00eb realitet krejt ndryshe, m\u00eb mbylli shum\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete dhe q\u00eb at\u00ebher\u00eb kam pasur gjithmon\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb ndroje. Kam menduar gjithmon\u00eb se do t\u00eb isha e papranuar nga pamja dhe, duke ia ngulitur vetes time k\u00ebto mendime deri tani, \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u00eb m\u00eb rastis\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb, kalon n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb filt\u00ebr mendimesh…
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuara studente e porsadiplomuar, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr letr\u00ebn n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn pasqyrohet qart\u00eb ankthi juaj social, parehatia me veten dhe me njer\u00ebzit, nj\u00eb lloj ankthi t\u00eb cilin ne psikolog\u00ebt e quajm\u00eb ankth performance, nd\u00ebrsa parehatin\u00eb me veten e quajm\u00eb dismorfobi. Mbaje mend, t\u00eb gjitha fobit\u00eb, pra, edhe fobia sociale, dismorfobia etj. nuk shkaktohen kot, por m\u00ebsohen. Ato jan\u00eb nj\u00eb si sjellje e m\u00ebsuar n\u00eb saje t\u00eb ngacmuesve specifik\u00eb dhe besoj e kupton se ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb. Pse \u00ebsht\u00eb ky nj\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb? Sepse ashtu si\u00e7 jan\u00eb m\u00ebsuar, ashtu edhe \u00e7m\u00ebsohen, me an\u00eb t\u00eb psikoterapis\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrballjes. N\u00eb praktik\u00ebn time prej 3-4 dekadash kam kaluar shum\u00eb raste t\u00eb tilla, madje nj\u00eb rast si i yti e ka sh\u00ebruar veten duke lexuar romanin \u201cVajza e Post\u00ebs\u201d e Cvajgut, por edhe raste t\u00eb r\u00ebnda e ky i juaji ia kan\u00eb dal\u00eb me sukses duke u informuar, k\u00ebshilluar e p\u00ebrballur me ekspozimin progresiv dhe b\u00ebrjen t\u00eb pandjesh\u00ebm. Kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb merit\u00eb e imja, por e shkenc\u00ebs psikologjike, pasi ankthi social \u00ebsht\u00eb lloji m\u00eb i trajtuesh\u00ebm me psikoterapi, por e keqja \u00ebsht\u00eb se pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb k\u00ebtij lloji t\u00eb ankthit, shumica nuk vijn\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebshillim dhe vet\u00ebm 20 % e tyre trokasin p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb e bashk\u00ebpunim me psikologun sepse u vjen \u201cturp\u201d ose \u201czor\u201d. Para pak dit\u00ebsh, kam trajtuar nj\u00eb student nga nj\u00eb fshat i Elbasanit me k\u00ebto lloj simptomash, pra, me ankth social, parehati, ankth performance, dismorfobi (probleme me pamjen, bukurin\u00eb) si tuajat. Ai ndjehej i pasigurt\u00eb, i paqet\u00eb, i pabukur e provincial, skuqej e zverdhej nga \u00e7do njeri dhe nuk ishte i qet\u00eb as kur rrinte vet\u00ebm sepse i dukej sikur t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt do t\u00eb thonin: \u201cJa, ky i shkreti, nuk ia var asnjeri\u201d. Edhe po t\u00eb ishte me t\u00eb njohur apo me t\u00eb panjohur ndihej shum\u00eb n\u00eb siklet, skuqej, verdhej, djersitej etj. Ky djal\u00eb simpatik kishte pranuar faktin se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aq i mir\u00eb e pranuar nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, edhe pse kishte aq shum\u00eb bukuri e vlera. Me psikoterapi kognitive, me ca ushtrime para pasqyr\u00ebs, si edhe me nj\u00eb kurs vall\u00ebzimi q\u00eb ai b\u00ebri, tani ai po i \u201c\u00e7udit\u201d me performanc\u00ebn gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb e rrethojn\u00eb, aq sa ndonj\u00eb feste, gostie apo dasme, tani i jep \u201ctonin\u201d. Ai arriti t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb se ankthi social nuk ka lidhje as me fatin e as me origjin\u00ebn, pasi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb trash\u00ebgohet, por ka lidhje me mbindjeshm\u00ebrin\u00eb, ndjenj\u00ebn e sinqert\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb u duket e mir\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Ju, si\u00e7 e thoni vet\u00eb, \u201czhyteni\u201d, u jepni r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, ndiheni shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebse p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, me at\u00eb ndjenj\u00ebn e sublimes dhe me d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr p\u00ebrsosm\u00ebri etj. K\u00ebto n\u00eb fakt jan\u00eb ca t\u00eb mira si me tepric\u00eb, si t\u00eb \u201ckopjuara\u201d apo t\u00eb trash\u00ebguara nga paraardh\u00ebsit, pasi ne psikolog\u00ebt n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste themi se e mira tep\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb shpesh, \u201ce keqja\u201d e s\u00eb mir\u00ebs. Tani, e nderuara let\u00ebrshkruese, po ju l\u00eb t\u00eb lexoni te gazeta \u201cIntervista\u201d k\u00ebshillat q\u00eb u kemi dh\u00ebn\u00eb edhe let\u00ebrshkruesve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb q\u00eb e kan\u00eb kaluar m\u00eb par\u00eb se ju ankthin social. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Jam nj\u00eb studente e sapodiplomuar, q\u00eb kam nj\u00eb droje e nj\u00eb pasiguri q\u00eb m\u00eb ka stepur gjithmon\u00eb n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me njer\u00ebzit, n\u00eb pun\u00eb, n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb e kudo. Pran\u00eb kam shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz e shoq\u00ebri q\u00eb m\u00eb duan t\u00eb mir\u00ebn. Shumica prej tyre jan\u00eb njer\u00ebz shum\u00eb aktiv\u00eb e me siguri te vetja, gj\u00eb q\u00eb mua m\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8914","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8914","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8914"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8914\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8914"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8914"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8914"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}