– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje doktor Jashar Demiri. Faleminderit p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja t\u00eb dobishme, q\u00eb na vijn\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb. Un\u00eb po ju shkruaj p\u00ebr motr\u00ebn time pasi jam shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr gjendjen e saj. Ka koh\u00eb q\u00eb ajo ka shfaqur nj\u00eb ndryshim rr\u00ebnj\u00ebsor t\u00eb sjelljes i cili ka filluar q\u00ebkur i erdh\u00ebn menstruacionet, n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 13 vje\u00e7are (tani \u00ebsht\u00eb 18 vje\u00e7e). Q\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb moment, ajo, nga nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb e shkath\u00ebt e shum\u00eb e dashur, shum\u00eb aktive, u kthye n\u00eb nj\u00eb person totalisht t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt; u ftoh me njer\u00ebzit, nuk ishte m\u00eb aq aktive, filloi t\u00eb humbiste interesin p\u00ebr shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra, mbi shkoll\u00ebn, nuk d\u00ebshironte gjimnazin. Ky ndryshim u b\u00eb m\u00eb i duksh\u00ebm k\u00ebt\u00eb vit, q\u00eb ajo e ka humbur totalisht interesin mbi veten, nuk flet shum\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb tep\u00ebr e mbyllur, nuk hapet as me ne njer\u00ebzit e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, nuk ka as shum\u00eb shoq\u00ebri dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb pasive e indiferente, qoft\u00eb edhe p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb zakonshme t\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrditshme. I \u00ebsht\u00eb ngulitur n\u00eb mendje nj\u00eb jet\u00eb totalisht ndryshe nga realiteti shqiptar dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb ndikuar nga q\u00ebndrimi i gjat\u00eb para internetit. I duket sikur nuk jeton k\u00ebtu, por n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb. Nuk e gjen veten k\u00ebtu dhe i duket sikur s\u2019e kupton njeri. Sado q\u00eb ne mundohemi t\u2019i flasim dhe ta mbajm\u00eb af\u00ebr, ajo nuk do t\u00eb flas\u00eb e largohet. Ka disa momente ku thot\u00eb e shpreh disa gj\u00ebra ose situata q\u00eb ajo mendon se i ka kaluar kur n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nuk i kan\u00eb ndodhur dhe kur ne e kund\u00ebrshtojm\u00eb, bindet dhe bie dakord me ne. Jemi pak t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsuar mbi gjendjen e saj dhe ju drejtuam juve p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb sakt\u00eb mbi at\u00eb q\u00eb ajo mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb. Ju lutem, na ktheni sa m\u00eb shpejt p\u00ebrgjigje. Pun\u00eb t\u00eb mbar\u00eb dhe faleminderit!
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – P\u00ebrshkrimi juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i sakt\u00eb, por \u00ebsht\u00eb ende i pamjaftuesh\u00ebm informacioni q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb mund t\u00eb vendos nj\u00eb diagnoz\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, duhet sjell\u00eb patjet\u00ebr motra 18 vje\u00e7are, pasi gabimi n\u00eb diagnostikim ka shum\u00eb pasoja jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vones\u00ebn n\u00eb trajtim, por edhe sepse ndodh si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli q\u00eb, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u2019i v\u00ebm\u00eb vetullat, i nxjerrim syt\u00eb. Ju thoni q\u00eb ndryshimi i saj erdhi q\u00eb me fillimin e pjekuris\u00eb seksuale, pra, q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 13 vje\u00e7e, kur i filluan menstruacionet. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb, mjaft t\u00eb rinj tremben se mos jan\u00eb homoseksual\u00eb, pra, mund t\u00eb vuajn\u00eb nga dyshime mbi identitetin seksual ose sh\u00ebndetin dhe nuk e shprehin k\u00ebt\u00eb. A mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb ndodhur k\u00ebshtu edhe me motr\u00ebn tuaj? K\u00ebt\u00eb e them sepse t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb mund t\u00eb futen si pa kuptuar n\u00eb nj\u00eb fobi t\u00eb tmerrshme q\u00eb quhet homofobi. Vuajtjet e homofobis\u00eb jan\u00eb v\u00ebrtet pik\u00eblluese pasi njeriu as nuk mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb apo t\u00eb b\u00ebhet homoseksual, por as nuk e heq dot frik\u00ebn se mos \u00ebsht\u00eb i till\u00eb, aq sa mund t\u2019i mbushet mendja top se \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe t\u00eb gjitha shenjat normale t\u00eb dyseksualitetit i \u201cp\u00ebrputhen\u201d si shenja homoseksualiteti. K\u00ebtu i tremb m\u00eb shum\u00eb edhe psikosomatikja, me ndjesit\u00eb e saj fallco, q\u00eb quhen pseudondjesi. Raste t\u00eb tilla un\u00eb kam trajtuar jo pak dhe megjith\u00ebse testet i nxjerrin 100 % hetero, ec e mbushua mendjen q\u00eb s\u2019jan\u00eb homoseksual\u00eb, madje edhe vet\u00eb fjala \u201chomo\u201d u shkakton menj\u00ebher\u00eb ankth e depresion reagues. Homofobik\u00ebt nuk i tregojn\u00eb p\u00ebrjetimet e dyshimet e tyre, sepse u vjen shum\u00eb turp nga familjar\u00ebt e t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit, mezi hapen edhe me ne psikolog\u00ebt dhe megjith\u00ebse u themi q\u00eb kemi b\u00ebr\u00eb betimin e Hipokratit p\u00ebr t\u00eb ruajtur sekretin e klientit, na luten e p\u00ebrgj\u00ebrohen q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i tregojm\u00eb askujt. Disa nuk e tregojn\u00eb as emrin e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb dhe kjo nuk na prish pun\u00eb, disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb vijn\u00eb si fshehurazi, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i shohin as t\u00eb panjohurit. Shumica prej tyre rrin\u00eb e g\u00ebrmojn\u00eb pareshtur n\u00eb internet, pasi njeriu nuk e pranon q\u00eb t\u00eb mos marr\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka e kur nuk i gjen dot, ose truri b\u00ebn lloj-lloj shpikjesh, ose keqkuptohen shpjegimet e paqarta t\u00eb internetit, duke krijuar nj\u00eb diagnoz\u00eb t\u00eb re q\u00eb quhet saiberkondri e q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb frika q\u00eb krijon interneti. Edhe motra juaj, si\u00e7 thoni ju, rri gjat\u00eb para internetit dhe noton n\u00ebp\u00ebr det\u00ebrat e informaciont t\u00eb cilat i kthen n\u00eb dezinformacion, aq sa i \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb fiksim m\u00eb vete interneti, ku futet e nuk di se ku t\u00eb dal\u00eb. N\u00eb nj\u00eb rast si ky i juaji, q\u00eb kam trajtuar vitin e kaluar, vajza rezultoi t\u00eb ishte lesbike dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cfatkeq\u00ebsi\u201d t\u00eb fsheht\u00eb, ajo nuk guxonte t\u2019ua tregonte t\u00eb af\u00ebrmve dhe e ngush\u00ebllonte vet\u00ebm mendimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb ikur n\u00eb Amerik\u00eb, me iden\u00eb se atje, gejt e lesbiket jan\u00eb t\u00eb lir\u00eb ose, larg qoft\u00eb, e qet\u00ebsonte mendimi p\u00ebr vet\u00ebvrasje. Duke qen\u00eb se prind\u00ebrit i kishte fanatik\u00eb, as q\u00eb b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb q\u00eb ajo t\u2019ua tregonte atyre k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cgj\u00ebm\u00eb\u201d.
\n– Q\u00eb n\u00eb seancat e para, e qet\u00ebsova vajzen, e binda p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet pranimi, pra, q\u00eb njeriu ta pranoj\u00eb identitetin e vet seksual, ashtu si\u00e7 pranon t\u00eb qenit zezak, i bardh\u00eb, apo m\u00ebngjarash. Sot, kjo vajz\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb studente e shk\u00eblqyer e Mjek\u00ebsis\u00eb, ka gjetur shpirtin e vet binjak dhe nuk do t\u2019ia dij\u00eb as p\u00ebr Amerik\u00ebn e as p\u00ebr vet\u00ebvrasjen. T\u00eb m\u00eb kuptoni, nuk po them se edhe motra juaj ka t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin problem, por ajo me siguri e ka nj\u00eb problem jo pak serioz. Ndoshta mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj sindromi q\u00eb quhet \u201cSindromi i foles\u00eb boshe\u201d, i cili konsiderohet si nj\u00eb grop\u00eb, si nj\u00eb boshll\u00ebk i madh t\u00eb cilin, sido q\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqet, ajo nuk e mbush dot. Ndoshta mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb edhe depresion t\u00eb maskuar, lloje depresioni k\u00ebto t\u00eb cil\u00ebt mezi dallohen edhe nga psikiatr\u00ebt, pasi nuk kan\u00eb shenjat tradicionale t\u00eb depresionit. Ajo, si\u00e7 duket, \u00ebsht\u00eb vajz\u00eb e mbindjeshme dhe me shum\u00eb sed\u00ebr e dinjitet, shto k\u00ebtu edhe mosh\u00ebn delikate t\u00eb adoleshenc\u00ebs, me problemet e veta, ndaj edhe ngacmuesit e jasht\u00ebm i \u201cpeshojn\u00eb\u201d shum\u00eb. Fakti q\u00eb mbyllet n\u00eb vetvete e nuk flet shum\u00eb, tregon se ajo i di reagimet e kund\u00ebrshtit\u00eb tuaja. \u00cbsht\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb q\u00eb bindet p\u00ebr vendet q\u00eb i p\u00ebrshkruan ose situatat q\u00eb ju i thoni se nuk kan\u00eb qen\u00eb reale. Fakti q\u00eb bindet, tregon se vajza ose i thot\u00eb ato si tip \u201cekzibicionesh\u201d, si p\u00ebr t\u00eb lozur me ju, si p\u00ebr t\u2019ju \u00e7uditur, ose ndodh tek ajo fenomeni Deja vu (shih n\u00eb internet), pra, nuk ka qen\u00eb, por ka d\u00ebgjuar e i ka par\u00eb dhe i duket sikur ka qen\u00eb. Kjo e fundit, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb shenj\u00eb e ndonj\u00eb s\u00ebmundjeje psikotike, pasi t\u00eb s\u00ebmurin me psikoza, sido q\u00eb ta sqarosh, nuk e bind dot sepse ai \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i bindur p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha ato q\u00eb thot\u00eb, duke menduar se i \u201cshikon\u201d ose i \u201cd\u00ebgjon\u201d t\u00eb gjitha me syt\u00eb e me vesh\u00ebt e vet.
\nVajza ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb diagnostikim t\u00eb sakt\u00eb jo nga psikiatri, por nga nj\u00eb psikolog klinicist q\u00eb t\u00eb shoh\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb i ka ndodhur n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn me jet\u00ebn e saj, q\u00eb e brengos, por e ruan n\u00eb pavet\u00ebdijen e saj. Kontrolli nga psikologu duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb pa i dh\u00ebn\u00eb barnat nga psikiatri, pasi shpesh, ila\u00e7et e psikiatrit, aq sa e qet\u00ebsojn\u00eb pacientin, duke e v\u00ebn\u00eb si n\u00eb gjum\u00eb, po aq i \u201cprishin\u201d edhe ato shenja apo simptoma q\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7ojn\u00eb drejt diagnostikimit t\u00eb sakt\u00eb. Edhe di\u00e7ka: Njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb u \u201cqepen\u201d shum\u00eb internetit apo telenovelave, shpesh, krijojn\u00eb ide derealizimi, frik\u00ebra e disi edhe shmangie nga realiteti, pasi ngjarjet e frikshme e prek\u00ebse me shto uj\u00eb e shto miell, nuk kan\u00eb se si ta l\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb e t\u00eb patrazuar psikik\u00ebn e \u201cgjor\u00eb\u201d e cila, normalisht, duhet t\u00eb merret me pun\u00eb t\u00eb dobishme, me jet\u00ebn reale…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje doktor Jashar Demiri. Faleminderit p\u00ebr p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja t\u00eb dobishme, q\u00eb na vijn\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb. Un\u00eb po ju shkruaj p\u00ebr motr\u00ebn time pasi jam shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr gjendjen e saj. Ka koh\u00eb q\u00eb ajo ka shfaqur nj\u00eb ndryshim rr\u00ebnj\u00ebsor t\u00eb sjelljes i cili ka filluar q\u00ebkur i erdh\u00ebn menstruacionet, n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 13 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8600","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8600","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8600"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8600\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8600"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8600"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8600"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}