– Jam i martuar prej 10 vitesh dhe kemi dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Un\u00eb jam 35 vje\u00e7, nd\u00ebrsa gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb 32 vje\u00e7e. Kam v\u00ebn\u00eb re disa probleme te bashk\u00ebshortja, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj shqet\u00ebsimi dhe nuk po di si ta quaj. Ajo m\u00eb do e natyrisht, edhe un\u00eb e dua, mir\u00ebpo problemi q\u00ebndron n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e shtratit: Kur duam t\u00eb kemi marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale, sa filloj ta prek ose i them p\u00ebr marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale, ajo reagon disi \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm, b\u00ebhet shum\u00eb nervoze, ndjen siklet n\u00eb vete, nuk duron ta prek fare. Shum\u00eb rrall\u00eb e ka d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale. Edhe kur m\u00eb thot\u00eb ajo, mua m\u00eb duket sikur po e dhunoj. Para disa muajve ka b\u00ebr\u00eb kontroll gjinekologjik dhe nuk ka di\u00e7ka serioze, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 nj\u00eb infeksioni t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, por edhe pas terapis\u00eb, vazhdon e nj\u00ebjta situat\u00eb. Shpesh e diskutojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb dhe m\u00eb bind se nuk e ka sepse nuk m\u00eb do apo ka ndonj\u00eb person tjet\u00ebr, por nuk mundet as vet\u00eb ta kuptoj\u00eb se si reagon ashtu, shpesh qan. Dit\u00ebn, thot\u00eb se mendon p\u00ebr mua dhe kur vij un\u00eb nga puna, \u00e7do gj\u00eb duket normale, por kur shkojm\u00eb n\u00eb shtrat, ndodh e kund\u00ebrta. Un\u00eb kam filluar t\u00eb b\u00ebhem shum\u00eb nervoz, kjo situat\u00eb m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb monotone dhe e padurueshme. Kam frik\u00eb se mos po e shkat\u00ebrrojm\u00eb familjen, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, gj\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb s\u00eb paku e duam. K\u00ebrkoj nga ju ndonj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb, n\u00ebse ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me profesionin tuaj ose t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn, t\u00eb na udh\u00ebzoni ku t\u00eb shkojm\u00eb e si t\u00eb veprojm\u00eb…
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – I nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues i kulturuar, e meritoni fjal\u00ebn \u201ci kulturuar\u201d, jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr letr\u00ebn e qart\u00eb, por edhe p\u00ebr merakun q\u00eb tregoni p\u00ebr ta sh\u00ebruar e ruajtur jet\u00ebn seksuale, pasi jo pak meshkuj, pas shum\u00eb vitesh martes\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje me jet\u00ebn seksuale, udh\u00ebhiqen nga psikologji jo normale duke menduar se \u201ckaq ishte\u201d ose \u201csi t\u2019i vij\u00eb\u201d… Ju, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk b\u00ebni t\u00eb tilla supozime, por as nuk b\u00ebheni xheloz, pra, i p\u00ebrjashtoni fantazit\u00eb e k\u00ebqija dhe e kuptoni se gruaja juaj ju do… Jeta seksuale \u00ebsht\u00eb pjesa m\u00eb e bukur e jet\u00ebs t\u00ebr\u00ebsore dhe sh\u00ebndeti seksual \u00ebsht\u00eb pjes\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebr\u00ebse e sh\u00ebndetit n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsi. At\u00ebher\u00eb, me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb shtrohet pyetja: \u201cPo \u00e7far\u00eb e ka gjetur k\u00ebt\u00eb martes\u00ebn tuaj t\u00eb suksesshme q\u00eb kur vjen puna te krevati, sikur po vepron ndonj\u00eb \u201cmagji\u201d e keqe?!\u201d. Mos m\u00eb keqkupo, kurrfar\u00eb \u201cmagjie\u201d s\u2019mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb aty, por po e p\u00ebrdor k\u00ebt\u00eb fjal\u00eb n\u00eb kuptimin figurativ. Po ashtu, n\u00eb kuptimin figurativ po p\u00ebrdor edhe nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb terapia e \u00e7iftit, psikoterapia seksuale, q\u00eb do ta quaja \u201cmagjia e mir\u00eb\u201d, e cila heq ose shmang t\u00eb keqen. Shum\u00eb \u00e7ifte, p\u00ebr t\u00eb rregulluar jet\u00ebn seksuale apo potenc\u00ebn, shkojn\u00eb te gjinekologu apo andrologu. Mjaft mir\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb, por nuk duhet t\u00eb harrojm\u00eb se organi kryesor seksual \u00ebsht\u00eb truri, ndaj shpeshher\u00eb duhet t\u00eb merremi me t\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsojm\u00eb jet\u00ebn seksuale. Pas specializimit n\u00eb Lond\u00ebr, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 psikologjis\u00eb klinike, kam b\u00ebr\u00eb specializim edhe p\u00ebr psikologjin\u00eb e seksualitetit, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin kam botuar 3 libra e p\u00ebrkthyer nj\u00eb, q\u00eb titullohet \u201cSekrete p\u00ebr meshkujt, q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb dij\u00eb \u00e7do fem\u00ebr\u201d. M\u00eb par\u00eb, kam botuar librin \u201cPsikologji intime\u201d, i cili na tregon \u201c\u00e7udirat\u201d q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb njoh\u00eb \u00e7do mashkull te femrat, q\u00eb t\u00eb dij\u00eb ta t\u00ebrheq\u00eb bukur e me shum\u00eb pasion partneren n\u00eb jet\u00ebn seksuale. Nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht, kam trajtuar qindra \u00e7ifte duke i \u201csinkronizuar\u201d me aq sa mundem, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebn n\u00eb lidhje me jet\u00ebn e tyre seksuale. Por, ka nj\u00eb sekret: Do t\u2019u lutem \u00e7ifteve q\u00eb t\u00eb vijn\u00eb e ta k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb ndihm\u00eb sa m\u00eb shpejt q\u00eb diktojn\u00eb r\u00ebnie apo ftoht\u00ebsi t\u00eb jet\u00ebs seksuale dhe t\u00eb mos presin sa t\u00eb veproj\u00eb atrofia, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb pak\u00ebsim, ikje p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb mosfunksionimit apo m\u00eb keq akoma: Neveria.
\n– N\u00ebse p\u00ebr shkaqe t\u00eb ndryshme fizike ose psikologjike, lind neveria seksuale, jeta seksuale d\u00ebmtohet r\u00ebnd\u00eb dhe ndihma do t\u00eb vinte si koshi pas t\u00eb vjelave e t\u00eb mos sillte rezultatet e d\u00ebshiruara. E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb duhet th\u00ebn\u00eb edhe p\u00ebr orgazm\u00ebn. Shum\u00eb femra q\u00eb nuk e arrijn\u00eb orgazm\u00ebn, nuk e kuptojn\u00eb se normalisht, \u00e7do fem\u00ebr do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb arrinte n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm, por \u201cpenges\u00eb\u201d b\u00ebhet k\u00ebtu truri, pik\u00ebrisht ai i cili do t\u00eb duhej ta ndihmonte njeriun. K\u00ebto gra harxhojn\u00eb shuma parash p\u00ebr te parukieret ose p\u00ebr l\u00ebkur\u00ebn dhe nuk k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb ndihm\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cpasuri\u201d t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb brenda tyre, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb orgazma, jo vet\u00ebm si k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi, por edhe p\u00ebr sh\u00ebndetin e mir\u00ebqenien shpirt\u00ebrore. Femra orgazmike k\u00ebnaqet vet\u00eb dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse p\u00ebr mashkullin. Tani le t\u00eb shohim pak m\u00eb konkretisht problemin tuaj, i nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues. Do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija se si ka qen\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb fillimin e saj jeta seksuale, pasi ka edhe raste kur ndonj\u00eb \u201ctraum\u00eb\u201d mund t\u00eb filloj\u00eb q\u00eb nat\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb martes\u00ebs te zhvirgj\u00ebrimi, sepse si\u00e7 thuhet me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, \u201cfillimi i mbar\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb gjysma e pun\u00ebs\u201d. Do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija: A ka arritur ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb orgaz\u00ebm gruaja juaj? Gjithashtu, do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija bagazhin e njohurive t\u00eb saj dhe tuajat si mashkull n\u00eb lidhje me seksin, si dhe trajtimin q\u00eb ju i b\u00ebni asaj n\u00eb lidhje me teknikat apo \u201cartin\u201d e seksit. Do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija gjithashtu edhe p\u00ebr origjin\u00ebn tuaj, por edhe p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjet, pasi ju v\u00ebrtet m\u00eb thoni se ajo ka kaluar nj\u00eb infeksion t\u00eb vog\u00ebl n\u00eb organet gjenitale, por shpeshher\u00eb k\u00ebto lloj infeksionesh, t\u00eb vogla duken, por japin ca shqet\u00ebsime t\u00eb m\u00ebdha drejt e te truri, aq sa \u00e7orientohen edhe psikiatrit, duke i kujtuar ato p\u00ebr simptoma t\u00eb s\u00ebmundjes mendore.
\n– Fakti q\u00eb ajo shpesh qan, tregon se ka nj\u00eb breng\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, nj\u00eb lloj frike apo ankthi t\u00eb cilat nuk i ndan dot me ju. Shum\u00eb burra p\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb vet\u00eb \u201cdoktorin\u201d n\u00eb lidhje me gruan, por \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm specialisti psikolog ai q\u00eb arrin t\u00eb shoh\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb ka n\u00eb fund t\u00eb \u201cdetit\u201d te femra, n\u00eb magazinat e pavet\u00ebdijes s\u00eb saj. Ndoshta mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb edhe disa prapaskena t\u00eb depresionit t\u00eb cilat i dallon p\u00ebrs\u00ebri psikologu, si specialist i sh\u00ebndetit psikologjik e mendor. Mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb ndodhur edhe disa gj\u00ebra pa shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, por q\u00eb gruaja juaj, si e mbindjeshme, me shum\u00eb sed\u00ebr e dinjitet q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb, u jep atyre r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe. Ndoshta gruaja juaj ka vuajtur nga ndjenjat e sublimes ose d\u00ebshirat p\u00ebr perfeksion t\u00eb cilat i ka patur edhe n\u00eb sfer\u00ebn seksuale e ju nuk ia keni kuptuar. Di\u00e7ka q\u00eb mbetet n\u00eb kujtes\u00eb si ndonj\u00eb kock\u00eb e patretur n\u00eb stomak, k\u00ebrkon pak \u201cacid\u201d psikologjik q\u00eb ta zhbllokoj\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje. T\u00eb mos harrojm\u00eb se edhe k\u00ebtu gjen vend ajo shprehja popullore \u201chyzmeti-k\u00ebsmeti\u201d. Ju siguroj q\u00eb do t\u2019ju trajtoj jo vet\u00ebm si nj\u00eb specialist me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb 35 vje\u00e7are i cili q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 27 vje\u00e7are ka shkruar librin \u201cEdukata seksuale\u201d me 304 faqe, por edhe si nj\u00eb prind apo mik i juaji. Ejani t\u2019i shtrojm\u00eb e t\u2019i zgjidhim \u201cng\u00ebr\u00e7et\u201d, pasi fsheht\u00ebsia me doktorin nuk i sh\u00ebrben askujt. Nuk di se si t\u2019ju ndihmoj m\u00eb tep\u00ebr pa ju pyetur n\u00eb detaje. Di t\u00eb them se \u00e7iftet e trajtuara, e kan\u00eb gjetur muajin e mjaltit, pas shum\u00eb vitesh martes\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Jam i martuar prej 10 vitesh dhe kemi dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Un\u00eb jam 35 vje\u00e7, nd\u00ebrsa gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb 32 vje\u00e7e. Kam v\u00ebn\u00eb re disa probleme te bashk\u00ebshortja, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj shqet\u00ebsimi dhe nuk po di si ta quaj. Ajo m\u00eb do e natyrisht, edhe un\u00eb e dua, mir\u00ebpo problemi q\u00ebndron n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e shtratit: Kur […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8400","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8400","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8400"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8400\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}