M\u00eb quajn\u00eb Sonila. Ndoshta shum\u00eb prej lexuesve, k\u00ebto q\u00eb un\u00eb do t\u2019ju tregoj do t\u2019u duken si mentalitete t\u00eb prapambetura, q\u00eb nuk ekzistojn\u00eb m\u00eb, por ja q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta. Un\u00eb jam e gjashta e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, t\u00eb gjitha vajza. Babai shpresonte q\u00eb t\u00eb isha djal\u00eb, por ja q\u00eb d\u00ebshira nuk iu plot\u00ebsua dhe t\u00eb gjitha inatet na i nxori ne t\u00eb gjashtave, por sidomos mamas\u00eb, q\u00eb sipas tij, nuk qe e zonja t\u00eb b\u00ebnte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb!
\nGjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb jam rrahur e keqtrajtuar nga babai im, q\u00eb mezi priti t\u00eb m\u00eb zhdukte nga sht\u00ebpia. M\u00eb martoi q\u00eb 16 vje\u00e7e me nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb vuan nga s\u00ebmundje mendore dhe gjysma e trupit t\u00eb tij \u00ebsht\u00eb e paralizuar. Ky ishte d\u00ebnimi i tij p\u00ebr mua, meq\u00eb nuk linda djal\u00eb. Un\u00eb isha f\u00ebmija i fundit sepse fatmir\u00ebisht, pas meje, mamaja nuk mund t\u00eb lindte m\u00eb. Them \u201cfatmir\u00ebsisht\u201d, sepse po t\u00eb ishte p\u00ebr babain, ai do ta kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb time m\u00eb derisa t\u00eb lindte djal\u00eb, edhe sikur t\u2019i duhej t\u00eb b\u00ebnte 20 f\u00ebmij\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb kishin r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, vet\u00ebm djali i duhej. Pavar\u00ebsisht se nga ekonomia nuk mund t\u2019i p\u00ebrballonte as gjasht\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb, aq sa b\u00ebri, p\u00ebr at\u00eb nuk kishte r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. K\u00ebto gj\u00ebra q\u00eb po ju tregoj nuk kan\u00eb kushedi sa vite q\u00eb ka ndodhur… Tani q\u00eb po ju shkruaj un\u00eb jam 34 vje\u00e7e dhe kam 19 vjet e martuar. M\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa grua, gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto vite kam qen\u00eb sh\u00ebrbyese e nj\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm ka paaft\u00ebsi fizike, por \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe shum\u00eb nevrik dhe m\u00eb trajton si mos m\u00eb keq, edhe pse un\u00eb e kam mbyllur jet\u00ebn time duke i sh\u00ebrbyer atij. \u00c7\u2019t\u2019ju tregoj m\u00eb par\u00eb p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn time? Un\u00eb kam nj\u00eb familje t\u00eb madhe, por z\u00ebre se jam vet\u00ebm. Nuk kam pasur asnj\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetje n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Kam b\u00ebr\u00eb vet\u00ebm filloren sepse babi m\u00eb hoqi nga shkolla, duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb grave nuk u duhej shkolla, ato duhet t\u00eb merren me sht\u00ebpin\u00eb, mjafton t\u00eb din\u00eb t\u00eb lajn\u00eb e t\u00eb shp\u00eblajn\u00eb dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb djem se po t\u00eb b\u00ebnin vajza, ishin kot. K\u00ebshtu e quante ai n\u00ebn\u00ebn time, grua q\u00eb nuk b\u00ebnte p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb, prandaj e rrihte p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, edhe p\u00ebr budallall\u00ebkun m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. Kush guxonte t\u2019i kund\u00ebrvihej, hante dru si ajo.
\nDashurin\u00eb e babait nuk e kam provuar asnj\u00ebher\u00eb. As mamaja e shkret\u00eb nuk pati mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb na jepte ngroht\u00ebsi dhe dashuri. Me gjith\u00eb at\u00eb stres q\u00eb kalonte ajo p\u00ebrdit\u00eb, m\u00eb shum\u00eb na trajtonte si ndihm\u00ebse sesa si vajza. Edhe at\u00eb e kishte martuar familja q\u00eb 14 vje\u00e7e sepse n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e saj ashtu ishte zakon. Me shkuesi u martua me babin tim q\u00eb nuk e njihte fare dhe q\u00eb i shkoi jeta si mos m\u00eb keq. Por maman\u00eb nuk e faj\u00ebsoj dot p\u00ebr gj\u00eb. P\u00ebr at\u00eb m\u00eb vjen keq se nuk e mori vesh ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb se ka edhe m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb tjera p\u00ebr ta jetuar jet\u00ebn. Ajo i dinte t\u00eb gjith\u00eb meshkujt si babai. T\u00eb pakt\u00ebn sot shohim televizor dhe jetojm\u00eb me \u00ebndrra. E dim\u00eb q\u00eb ka edhe meshkuj q\u00eb nuk i trajtojn\u00eb femrat e tyre si sh\u00ebrb\u00ebtore, kurse n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, kjo mund\u00ebsi nuk qe…
\nIm at\u00eb i martoi shpejt e shpejt pes\u00eb motrat q\u00eb ishin para meje. Nga nj\u00ebri cep n\u00eb tjetrin jemi ndar\u00eb. Nuk e kam nj\u00eb mot\u00ebr af\u00ebr q\u00eb ta kem p\u00ebr nj\u00eb hall a p\u00ebr nj\u00eb g\u00ebzim, por t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn motrat e mia nuk e pat\u00ebn fatin kaq t\u00eb zi sa un\u00eb, se t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn burrat e tyre nuk jan\u00eb sakat\u00eb dhe t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb mendor\u00eb si i imi. Mua m\u00eb martoi me nj\u00eb njeri me t\u00eb cilin as f\u00ebmij\u00eb nuk b\u00ebj dot, por vet\u00ebm duhet t\u2019i sh\u00ebrbej. Familja e burrit donte nj\u00eb grua q\u00eb t\u2019i sh\u00ebrbente t\u00eb birit. Duke qen\u00eb se ata nuk mund t\u00eb paguanin nj\u00eb infermier q\u00eb t\u00eb kujdesej p\u00ebr t\u00eb 24 or\u00eb, u kishte shkuar mendja ta hiqnin qafe duke e martuar. Si dukej, ishin informuar mir\u00eb p\u00ebr tim at\u00eb, q\u00eb donte vet\u00ebm t\u2019i hiqte qafe gocat e nuk kishte shum\u00eb pretendime, ndaj erdh\u00ebn e m\u00eb k\u00ebrkuan, kur isha akoma f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Ata ishin mir\u00eb nga gjendja ekonomike dhe gjithmon\u00eb kam patur e kam dyshimin se ndoshta im at\u00eb ka marr\u00eb ndonj\u00eb lek prej tyre, n\u00eb k\u00ebmbim t\u00eb jet\u00ebs sime. N\u00eb fillim, kur e mora vesh se ku donte t\u00eb m\u00eb jepte babi, e vuajta shum\u00eb dhe iu luta tim eti t\u00eb mos m\u00eb martonte, po ku t\u00eb d\u00ebgjonte ai?! M\u00eb tha se duhet t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqesha sepse do t\u00eb jetoja n\u00eb qytet.
\nN\u00eb sht\u00ebpi nuk m\u00eb mungon asgj\u00eb sepse familja e burrit ka para dhe nuk punoj sepse duhet t\u00eb kujdesem gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn p\u00ebr burrin. Jetoj n\u00eb qytet, edhe pse jam vajz\u00eb e lindur dhe e rritur n\u00eb fshat, por jam e varur nga \u00e7do gj\u00eb prej burrit sepse p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjet ai. Nuk kam pasur asnj\u00ebher\u00eb lek\u00ebt e mia. Un\u00eb dua t\u00eb punoj, por duke qen\u00eb se e kam burrin n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje, nuk mundem dot. Duke ndenjur gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn me burrin, nuk kam as shoq\u00ebri, asgj\u00eb, nuk kam asnjeri.
\nN\u00eb fillim, n\u00ebna vinte m\u00eb takonte nj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb ca koh\u00eb, kurse tani ka mbi nj\u00eb vit q\u00eb nuk e kam takuar. Nuk ka m\u00eb fuqi t\u00eb vij\u00eb tek un\u00eb. Motrat vijn\u00eb shum\u00eb rall\u00eb sepse edhe ato kan\u00eb jet\u00ebn e problemet e tyre, kurse un\u00eb nuk shkoj dot t\u2019i takoj se nuk kam ku ta l\u00eb burrin. Me vete nuk kam si ta marr sepse nuk e l\u00ebviz dot, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb jeta ime \u00ebsht\u00eb kufizuar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe k\u00ebtu af\u00ebr sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, ku mund t\u00eb dalim ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb p\u00ebr xhiro kur \u00ebsht\u00eb koh\u00eb e mir\u00eb. As te njer\u00ebzit e burrit nuk kam gjetur asnj\u00ebher\u00eb ngroht\u00ebsi gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebtyre viteve. Ata m\u00eb shikojn\u00eb thjesht si sh\u00ebrb\u00ebtore dhe jo si nuse. K\u00ebshtu m\u00eb kan\u00eb trajtuar gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn.
\nGjith\u00eb k\u00ebto vite kam jetuar me shpres\u00ebn se mund t\u00eb gjej dik\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb iki p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb nga kjo sht\u00ebpi. Gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn kam \u00ebnd\u00ebrruar q\u00eb nj\u00eb dit\u00eb do t\u00eb gjeja edhe un\u00eb fatin tim t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb dhe nuk e di se \u00e7far\u00eb m\u00ebkati kam b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb po vuaj kaq shum\u00eb. Sh\u00ebrb\u00ebtore do t\u00eb mbetem gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn. T\u00eb lind\u00ebsh dhe t\u00eb mos jetosh asnj\u00eb dit\u00eb, i bie kot q\u00eb ke lindur. N\u00ebna ime t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn i b\u00ebri gjasht\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb, por un\u00eb nuk do ta kem kurr\u00eb fatin as t\u00eb b\u00ebhem n\u00ebn\u00eb. \u00c7\u2019t\u2019ju them m\u00eb? Nuk m\u00eb mbeti asgj\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb, se kaq \u00ebsht\u00eb jeta ime… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
M\u00eb quajn\u00eb Sonila. Ndoshta shum\u00eb prej lexuesve, k\u00ebto q\u00eb un\u00eb do t\u2019ju tregoj do t\u2019u duken si mentalitete t\u00eb prapambetura, q\u00eb nuk ekzistojn\u00eb m\u00eb, por ja q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta. Un\u00eb jam e gjashta e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, t\u00eb gjitha vajza. Babai shpresonte q\u00eb t\u00eb isha djal\u00eb, por ja q\u00eb d\u00ebshira nuk iu plot\u00ebsua dhe t\u00eb gjitha […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7798"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7798\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7798"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7798"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}