P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje redaksi e gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d. Ju keni qen\u00eb gazeta q\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndjekur n\u00eb adoleshenc\u00eb, bile q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri e deri m\u00eb sot. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye po ju shkruaj sot, sepse dua n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u2019ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb keni b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr mua\u2026
\nN\u00eb fakt, kur ju kam shkruar p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, un\u00eb isha beqare. Kur isha vet\u00ebm 16 vje\u00e7e, un\u00eb u lidha me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb n\u00eb lagjen time, q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt, me sa kuptova m\u00eb von\u00eb, kishte dashur vet\u00ebm t\u00eb m\u00eb fuste n\u00eb krevat dhe asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Ai m\u00eb premtoi gjith\u00e7ka, dashuri, familje e f\u00ebmij\u00eb, gj\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ne femrat vdesim, ama pasi m\u00eb futi n\u00eb krevat, u zhduk si me magji… E k\u00ebrkoja dhe nuk m\u00eb dilte n\u00eb telefonin e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. Edhe kur m\u00eb dilte, m\u00eb thoshte se kishte pun\u00eb dhe se nuk kishte mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb m\u00eb takonte e gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tilla. P\u00ebr shum\u00eb koh\u00eb, kam kaluar nj\u00eb vuajtje ferri, q\u00eb nuk ia uroj askujt. K\u00ebshtjella prej kristali q\u00eb kisha nd\u00ebrtuar, e ndihmuar nga mashtrimet e tij, u shemb e u b\u00eb copash. N\u00eb familje m\u00eb vinin shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin p\u00ebr nuse, sepse isha vajz\u00eb e bukur dhe familja ime ishte me em\u00ebr n\u00eb qytetin ton\u00eb, por \u00e7\u2019e do q\u00eb un\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb pranoja, edhe n\u00ebse ndonj\u00ebri nga ata djem q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin m\u00eb p\u00eblqente. Si do t\u2019u thoja se nuk isha e virgj\u00ebr?!
\nSe, ka nj\u00eb gj\u00eb… kur e takon vet\u00eb nj\u00eb djal\u00eb, mund edhe t\u2019ia thuash k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e pun\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb n\u00ebse i jep r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi apo jo, po kur vijn\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb n\u00eb familje, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se e para gj\u00eb q\u00eb ata presn nga vajza q\u00eb duan p\u00ebr nuese, \u00ebsht\u00eb virgj\u00ebria, q\u00eb un\u00eb e kisha humbur si e papjekur q\u00eb isha, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb budallall\u00ebk.
\nK\u00ebshtu, ngela beqare n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi, q\u00eb nuk e merrnin vesh se pse un\u00eb thoja \u201cjo\u201d p\u00ebr k\u00ebdo q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte n\u00eb der\u00eb. Her\u00eb nxirrja nj\u00eb justifikim e her\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos i takuar djemt\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin, q\u00eb n\u00eb fund, t\u00eb mos m\u00eb ngelej faji mua. Pak nga pak u b\u00ebra mjeshtre e refuzimit, nd\u00ebrsa nga ana tjet\u00ebr, edhe k\u00ebrkesat nis\u00ebn t\u00eb pak\u00ebsoheshin. M\u00eb vjen shum\u00eb keq p\u00ebr veten time kur e kujtoj at\u00eb koh\u00eb, sepse n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb po digjesha nga d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb patur nj\u00eb njeri t\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb krah dhe p\u00ebr t\u2019i dh\u00ebn\u00eb fund asaj vetmie q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte kapluar n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e babait…
\nN\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr mua, jam afruar shum\u00eb me gazet\u00ebn tuaj. Them \u201cafruar\u201d sepse p\u00ebr mua, e shtuna ka qen\u00eb dita m\u00eb e bukur e jav\u00ebs dhe gazeta, si nj\u00eb i af\u00ebrm q\u00eb do ta takoja pik\u00ebrisht at\u00eb dit\u00eb. Merrja gazet\u00ebn dhe e p\u00ebrpija t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebn, nga fillimi n\u00eb fund, pak p\u00ebr t\u00eb shuar vetmin\u00eb, pak p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00ebsuar gj\u00ebra t\u00eb reja, pak p\u00ebr t\u00eb harruar dhimbjen time, sidomos kur lexoja historit\u00eb nga jeta dhe kuptoja se n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb, un\u00eb nuk isha e vetmja q\u00eb vuaja, se kishte t\u00eb tjer\u00eb q\u00eb kishin halle akoma m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha. Por, si\u00e7 ju thash\u00eb, un\u00eb lexoja gjith\u00e7ka, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb lija pa lexuar edhe njoftimet, n\u00eb rubrik\u00ebn \u201cDjemt\u00eb k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb vajza\u201d. Shum\u00eb her\u00eb kishte njoftime q\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqenin dhe q\u00eb doja t\u2019i kontaktoja, por nuk e merrja dot guximin se shum\u00eb her\u00eb mendoja se k\u00ebto mund t\u00eb ishin thjesht mashtrime. Mendoja me vete: \u201cMua m\u00eb mashtroi nj\u00eb djal\u00eb prej mishi e gjaku, q\u00eb e kisha p\u00ebrball\u00eb dhe e njihja, si t\u00eb mos m\u00eb mashtroj\u00eb dikush q\u00eb as e di se kush \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe q\u00eb ndoshta \u00ebsht\u00eb krejt ndryshe nga \u00e7\u2019shfaqet n\u00eb gazet\u00eb?\u201d.
\nJa q\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7udin\u00eb time, fati im kishte qen\u00eb i shkruar pik\u00ebrisht n\u00eb faqet tuaja… N\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb sapo kishin nisur t\u00eb dilnin celular\u00ebt dhe mua m\u00eb kishte sjell\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, motra q\u00eb e kisha n\u00eb Itali. N\u00eb fakt, ajo e kishte sjell\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi q\u00eb t\u00eb komunikonte me ne, por mami e babi nuk dinin ta p\u00ebrdornin, kurse v\u00ebllai ishte akoma i vog\u00ebl, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb celularin e mbaja gjithmon\u00eb un\u00eb. N\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb shtun\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa lexoja gazet\u00ebn, m\u00eb mbeti mendja te njoftimi i nj\u00eb djali q\u00eb thoshte k\u00ebshtu (e mbaj mend ende at\u00eb njoftim): \u201cN\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndodhur nj\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsi, q\u00eb m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb vet\u00ebm, edhe pse jam vet\u00ebm 32 vje\u00e7… I vetmi kusht q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj nga ajo q\u00eb dua t\u00eb kem n\u00eb krah \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb!\u201d. N\u00eb fund, ai kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb numrin e telefonit. Jam dridhur si purtek\u00eb kur i kam \u00e7uar mesazhin e par\u00eb, e bindur se ai ndoshta nuk do ta merrte parasysh. Nga frika se, ku i dihej, mund t\u00eb ishte njeri i njohur i imi, n\u00eb mesazh i shkrova vet\u00ebm se doja t\u00eb flisja me t\u00eb. Ishte ai q\u00eb m\u00eb telefonoi. Nga z\u00ebri m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu, por un\u00eb tashm\u00eb kisha nisur t\u00eb dyshoja n\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka, ndaj nuk i besova asnj\u00eb fjale q\u00eb m\u00eb tha. Megjithat\u00eb, kishte di\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje tek ai. M\u00eb tha vet\u00ebm se donte q\u00eb her\u00eb pas here t\u00eb flisnim n\u00eb telefon \u201csepse duhet t\u00eb njohim nj\u00ebher\u00eb shpirtin e tjetrit dhe pastaj pamjen\u201d, m\u00eb tha. Kjo gj\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu. Ai nuk m\u00eb pyeti n\u00eb asnj\u00eb moment n\u00ebse kisha patur lidhje m\u00eb par\u00eb. T\u00eb vetmet gj\u00ebra q\u00eb bisedonim, kishn t\u00eb b\u00ebnin me jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb, me dit\u00ebt q\u00eb kalonim, me m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si e shikonim jet\u00ebn. Fol\u00ebm gjat\u00eb t\u00eb dy. Ndoshta p\u00ebr tre muaj me radh\u00eb, ai m\u00eb merrte thuajse \u00e7do nat\u00eb n\u00eb telefon. M\u00eb tha se punonte si nxhinier dhe jetonte me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e tij, se nuk u besonte shum\u00eb femrave, pasi kishte qen\u00eb i martuar dhe gruaja e kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, ndaj edhe kishte nj\u00eb lloj frike nga njohjet. Kur m\u00eb tha k\u00ebt\u00eb, un\u00eb mbaj mend se qesha dhe i thash\u00eb se \u201cqenkemi t\u00eb dy nj\u00ebsoj\u201d. Ai ma mbylli telefonin dhe un\u00eb mendova se u ofendua. Pastaj mendova se ndoshta ai kishte menduar se un\u00eb nuk kisha patur ask\u00ebnd m\u00eb par\u00eb dhe se, tani q\u00eb e mori vesh, do t\u00eb zhdukej menj\u00ebher\u00eb. M\u00eb erdhi keq p\u00ebr veten, por nuk qava. Thjesht, v\u00ebrtetova me veten time se tashm\u00eb isha nj\u00eb njeri pa vler\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk i kushtonte r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi askush…
\nN\u00eb fakt, si\u00e7 m\u00eb tha m\u00eb von\u00eb, ai ishte prekur po aq sa un\u00eb nga fjal\u00ebt e mia, ndaj e kishte mbyllur telefonin, bile qesh kur i tregoj se \u00e7far\u00eb mendova un\u00eb at\u00eb nat\u00eb. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen m\u00eb telefonoi dhe para se un\u00eb t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoja t\u00eb falur p\u00ebr bised\u00ebn e nj\u00eb nate m\u00eb par\u00eb, ai m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb takoheshim. M\u00eb tha se e kishte t\u00eb domsodoshme nevoj\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb m\u00eb njohur tashm\u00eb. B\u00ebm\u00eb si b\u00ebm\u00eb dhe gjet\u00ebm nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u takuar. Un\u00eb u thash\u00eb prind\u00ebrve se do t\u00eb shkoja ta merreja vet\u00eb v\u00ebllain nga shkolla dhe i lash\u00eb takim atij n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal pran\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs. Kur e pash\u00eb, nuk u besova syve…
\nN\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb shtun\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa lexoja gazet\u00ebn, m\u00eb mbeti mendja te njoftimi i nj\u00eb djali q\u00eb thoshte k\u00ebshtu (e mbaj mend ende at\u00eb njoftim): \u201cN\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndodhur nj\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsi, q\u00eb m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb vet\u00ebm, edhe pse jam vet\u00ebm 32 vje\u00e7… I vetmi kusht q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj nga ajo q\u00eb dua t\u00eb kem n\u00eb krah, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb!\u201d. N\u00eb fund, ai kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb numrin e telefonit. Jam dridhur si purtek\u00eb kur i kam \u00e7uar mesazhin e par\u00eb, e bindur se ai ndoshta nuk do ta merrte parasysh. Nga frika se, ku i dihej, mund t\u00eb ishte njeri i njohur i imi, n\u00eb mesazh i shkrova vet\u00ebm se doja t\u00eb flisja me t\u00eb. Ishte ai q\u00eb m\u00eb telefonoi. Nga z\u00ebri m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu, por un\u00eb tashm\u00eb kisha nisur t\u00eb dyshoja n\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka, ndaj nuk i besova asnj\u00eb fjale q\u00eb m\u00eb tha. Megjithat\u00eb, kishte di\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje tek ai. M\u00eb tha vet\u00ebm se donte q\u00eb her\u00eb pas here t\u00eb flisnim n\u00eb telefon \u201csepse duhet t\u00eb njohim nj\u00ebher\u00eb shpirtin e tjetrit dhe pastaj pamjen\u201d, m\u00eb tha. Kjo gj\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu. Ai nuk m\u00eb pyeti n\u00eb asnj\u00eb moment n\u00ebse kisha patur lidhje m\u00eb par\u00eb. T\u00eb vetmet gj\u00ebra q\u00eb bisedonim, kishin t\u00eb b\u00ebnin me jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb, me dit\u00ebt q\u00eb kalonim, me m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si e shikonim jet\u00ebn. Ndoshta p\u00ebr tre muaj me radh\u00eb, ai m\u00eb merrte thuajse \u00e7do nat\u00eb n\u00eb telefon. M\u00eb tha se punonte si nxhinier dhe jetonte me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e tij, se nuk u besonte shum\u00eb femrave, pasi kishte qen\u00eb i martuar dhe gruaja e kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, ndaj edhe kishte nj\u00eb lloj frike nga njohjet. Kur m\u00eb tha k\u00ebt\u00eb, un\u00eb mbaj mend se qesha dhe i thash\u00eb se \u201cqenkemi t\u00eb dy nj\u00ebsoj\u201d. Ai ma mbylli telefonin dhe un\u00eb mendova se u ofendua. Pastaj mendova se ndoshta ai kishte menduar se un\u00eb nuk kisha patur ask\u00ebnd m\u00eb par\u00eb dhe se, tani q\u00eb e mori vesh, do t\u00eb zhdukej menj\u00ebher\u00eb. M\u00eb erdhi keq p\u00ebr veten, por nuk qava. Thjesht, v\u00ebrtetova me veten time se tashm\u00eb isha nj\u00eb njeri pa vler\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk i kushtonte r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi askush…
\nN\u00eb fakt, si\u00e7 m\u00eb tha m\u00eb von\u00eb, ai ishte prekur po aq sa un\u00eb nga fjal\u00ebt e mia, ndaj e kishte mbyllur telefonin, bile ai qesh kur i tregoj se \u00e7far\u00eb mendova un\u00eb at\u00eb nat\u00eb. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen m\u00eb telefonoi dhe para se un\u00eb t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoja t\u00eb falur p\u00ebr bised\u00ebn e nj\u00eb nate m\u00eb par\u00eb, ai m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb takoheshim. M\u00eb tha se e kishte t\u00eb domosdoshme t\u00eb m\u00eb njihte tashm\u00eb. B\u00ebm\u00eb si b\u00ebm\u00eb dhe gjet\u00ebm nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u takuar. Un\u00eb u thash\u00eb prind\u00ebrve se do t\u00eb shkoja ta merreja vet\u00eb v\u00ebllain nga shkolla dhe i lash\u00eb takim atij n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal pran\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs. Kur e pash\u00eb, nuk u besova syve…
\nKisha patur gjithmon\u00eb frik\u00eb se para sysh mund t\u00eb m\u00eb dilte nj\u00eb plak, nj\u00eb tullac, nj\u00eb shkurtabiq, a ku e di un\u00eb, t\u00eb gjitha fantazit\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebmtuara q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb njeri, por kur e pash\u00eb at\u00eb; u mahnita: Dukej sikur gjith\u00eb ajo mir\u00ebsi e fisnik\u00ebri q\u00eb ai kishte pasqyruar n\u00eb bisedat tona n\u00eb telefon, ishte vizatuar n\u00eb portretin e tij. Ishte yll i bukur! Kur m\u00eb pa, ai u ngrit, m\u00eb p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndeti dhe m\u00eb rregulloi karrigen ku do t\u00eb ulesha… Un\u00eb isha shum\u00eb e sikletosur nga ai takim, por ai ma hoqi sikletin menj\u00ebher\u00eb, duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se, kurr\u00eb nuk e kishte besuar se do t\u00eb kishte patur fatin t\u00eb njihte nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb si un\u00eb… At\u00eb dit\u00eb ndenj\u00ebm gjat\u00eb n\u00eb kafe, madje ai priti sa mbaroi v\u00ebllai im shkoll\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb tha se donte ta njihte. Nuk dija \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebja dhe s\u2019po e kuptoja se \u00e7far\u00eb po ndodhte. At\u00ebhere ai m\u00eb tha nj\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb, deri n\u00eb at\u00eb moment, vet\u00ebm n\u00ebp\u00ebr filma e kam par\u00eb: \u201cA d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb martohesh me mua? Nuk kam unaz\u00eb me vete, por edhe at\u00eb do ta kesh shum\u00eb shpejt…\u201d, m\u00eb tha, duke ma mbajtur dor\u00ebn time mes t\u00eb tijave. Nuk dija \u00e7\u2019p\u00ebrgjigje t\u2019i ktheja, por ai i ra shkurt: \u201cHarro \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ke kaluar se un\u00eb e kam harruar. A do t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh e imja, q\u00eb sot e tutje? N\u00ebse m\u00eb thua po, q\u00eb nes\u00ebr do t\u00eb vij n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb t\u00ebnde bashk\u00eb me maman\u00eb time, q\u00eb mezi pret t\u00eb t\u00eb njoh\u00eb…\u201d.
\nDo t\u2019ju g\u00ebnjeja po t\u2019ju thoja se at\u00eb dit\u00eb isha shum\u00eb e g\u00ebzuar. M\u00eb shum\u00eb isha e shokuar, sepse gj\u00ebrat kishin rrjedhur shum\u00eb shpejt dhe un\u00eb, po pranoja t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha pjes\u00eb e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb e kisha njohur n\u00eb gazet\u00eb (sepse un\u00eb i thash\u00eb \u201cpo\u201d, propozimit t\u00eb tij, ju e kuptoni…), gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk e kisha menduar kurr\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, at\u00eb nat\u00eb, m\u00eb kujtoheshin t\u00eb gjitha dyshimet q\u00eb kisha patur p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb shkruanin n\u00eb gazet\u00eb dhe me sa munges\u00eb besimi e kisha marr\u00eb numrin e tij t\u00eb telefonit. Ja nj\u00eb jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme dhe po kaq t\u00eb \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm jeni edhe ju, sepse nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb e njihja nga af\u00ebr m\u00eb kishte mashtruar keq, nd\u00ebrsa dikush q\u00eb e njoha n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet njoftimeve tuaja, ma ka b\u00ebr\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00eb bukur dhe sot, q\u00eb t\u00eb dy, presim t\u00eb lumtur t\u00eb njohim beben q\u00eb mbaj n\u00eb bark dhe q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb fryt i dashuris\u00eb son\u00eb…
\nPrandaj, dua t\u2019ju fal\u00ebnderoj, e dashur redaksi, sepse megjith\u00ebse ne nuk duam ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb publike lidhjen ton\u00eb me em\u00ebr e mbiem\u00ebr (mos na e merrni p\u00ebr keq, por e dim\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb na paragjykojn\u00eb, po t\u2019u tregojm\u00eb si jemi njohur), prap\u00eb se prap\u00eb, jua dim\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr nder q\u00eb na njoh\u00ebt s\u00eb bashku dhe q\u00eb sot, fal\u00eb jush, presim t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi prind\u00ebr. Faleminderit dhe g\u00ebzuar festat!
\nN\u00eb nj\u00eb t\u00eb shtun\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa lexoja gazet\u00ebn, m\u00eb mbeti mendja te njoftimi i nj\u00eb djali q\u00eb thoshte k\u00ebshtu (e mbaj mend ende at\u00eb njoftim): \u201cN\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndodhur nj\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsi, q\u00eb m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb vet\u00ebm, edhe pse jam vet\u00ebm 32 vje\u00e7… I vetmi kusht q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj nga ajo q\u00eb dua t\u00eb kem n\u00eb krah, \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb!\u201d. N\u00eb fund, ai kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb numrin e telefonit. Jam dridhur si purtek\u00eb kur i kam \u00e7uar mesazhin e par\u00eb, e bindur se ai ndoshta nuk do ta merrte parasysh. Nga frika se, ku i dihej, mund t\u00eb ishte njeri i njohur i imi, n\u00eb mesazh i shkrova vet\u00ebm se doja t\u00eb flisja me t\u00eb. Ishte ai q\u00eb m\u00eb telefonoi. Nga z\u00ebri m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu, por un\u00eb tashm\u00eb kisha nisur t\u00eb dyshoja n\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka, ndaj nuk i besova asnj\u00eb fjale q\u00eb m\u00eb tha. Megjithat\u00eb, kishte di\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebri p\u00ebrshtypje tek ai. M\u00eb tha vet\u00ebm se donte q\u00eb her\u00eb pas here t\u00eb flisnim n\u00eb telefon \u201csepse duhet t\u00eb njohim nj\u00ebher\u00eb shpirtin e tjetrit dhe pastaj pamjen\u201d, m\u00eb tha. Kjo gj\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu. Ai nuk m\u00eb pyeti n\u00eb asnj\u00eb moment n\u00ebse kisha patur lidhje m\u00eb par\u00eb. T\u00eb vetmet gj\u00ebra q\u00eb bisedonim, kishin t\u00eb b\u00ebnin me jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb, me dit\u00ebt q\u00eb kalonim, me m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si e shikonim jet\u00ebn. Ndoshta p\u00ebr tre muaj me radh\u00eb, ai m\u00eb merrte thuajse \u00e7do nat\u00eb n\u00eb telefon. M\u00eb tha se punonte si nxhinier dhe jetonte me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e tij, se nuk u besonte shum\u00eb femrave, pasi kishte qen\u00eb i martuar dhe gruaja e kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, ndaj edhe kishte nj\u00eb lloj frike nga njohjet. Kur m\u00eb tha k\u00ebt\u00eb, un\u00eb mbaj mend se qesha dhe i thash\u00eb se \u201cqenkemi t\u00eb dy nj\u00ebsoj\u201d. Ai ma mbylli telefonin dhe un\u00eb mendova se u ofendua. Pastaj mendova se ndoshta ai kishte menduar se un\u00eb nuk kisha patur ask\u00ebnd m\u00eb par\u00eb dhe se, tani q\u00eb e mori vesh, do t\u00eb zhdukej menj\u00ebher\u00eb. M\u00eb erdhi keq p\u00ebr veten, por nuk qava. Thjesht, v\u00ebrtetova me veten time se tashm\u00eb isha nj\u00eb njeri pa vler\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk i kushtonte r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi askush…
\nN\u00eb fakt, si\u00e7 m\u00eb tha m\u00eb von\u00eb, ai ishte prekur po aq sa un\u00eb nga fjal\u00ebt e mia, ndaj e kishte mbyllur telefonin, bile ai qesh kur i tregoj se \u00e7far\u00eb mendova un\u00eb at\u00eb nat\u00eb. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen m\u00eb telefonoi dhe para se un\u00eb t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoja t\u00eb falur p\u00ebr bised\u00ebn e nj\u00eb nate m\u00eb par\u00eb, ai m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb takoheshim. M\u00eb tha se e kishte t\u00eb domosdoshme t\u00eb m\u00eb njihte tashm\u00eb. B\u00ebm\u00eb si b\u00ebm\u00eb dhe gjet\u00ebm nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u takuar. Un\u00eb u thash\u00eb prind\u00ebrve se do t\u00eb shkoja ta merreja vet\u00eb v\u00ebllain nga shkolla dhe i lash\u00eb takim atij n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal pran\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs. Kur e pash\u00eb, nuk u besova syve…
\nKisha patur gjithmon\u00eb frik\u00eb se para sysh mund t\u00eb m\u00eb dilte nj\u00eb plak, nj\u00eb tullac, nj\u00eb shkurtabiq, a ku e di un\u00eb, t\u00eb gjitha fantazit\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebmtuara q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb njeri, por kur e pash\u00eb at\u00eb; u mahnita: Dukej sikur gjith\u00eb ajo mir\u00ebsi e fisnik\u00ebri q\u00eb ai kishte pasqyruar n\u00eb bisedat tona n\u00eb telefon, ishte vizatuar n\u00eb portretin e tij. Ishte yll i bukur! Kur m\u00eb pa, ai u ngrit, m\u00eb p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndeti dhe m\u00eb rregulloi karrigen ku do t\u00eb ulesha… Un\u00eb isha shum\u00eb e sikletosur nga ai takim, por ai ma hoqi sikletin menj\u00ebher\u00eb, duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se, kurr\u00eb nuk e kishte besuar se do t\u00eb kishte patur fatin t\u00eb njihte nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb si un\u00eb… At\u00eb dit\u00eb ndenj\u00ebm gjat\u00eb n\u00eb kafe, madje ai priti sa mbaroi v\u00ebllai im shkoll\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb tha se donte ta njihte. Nuk dija \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebja dhe s\u2019po e kuptoja se \u00e7far\u00eb po ndodhte. At\u00ebhere ai m\u00eb tha nj\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb, deri n\u00eb at\u00eb moment, vet\u00ebm n\u00ebp\u00ebr filma e kam par\u00eb: \u201cA d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb martohesh me mua? Nuk kam unaz\u00eb me vete, por edhe at\u00eb do ta kesh shum\u00eb shpejt…\u201d, m\u00eb tha, duke ma mbajtur dor\u00ebn time mes t\u00eb tijave. Nuk dija \u00e7\u2019p\u00ebrgjigje t\u2019i ktheja, por ai i ra shkurt: \u201cHarro \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ke kaluar se un\u00eb e kam harruar. A do t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh e imja, q\u00eb sot e tutje? N\u00ebse m\u00eb thua po, q\u00eb nes\u00ebr do t\u00eb vij n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb t\u00ebnde bashk\u00eb me maman\u00eb time, q\u00eb mezi pret t\u00eb t\u00eb njoh\u00eb…\u201d.
\nDo t\u2019ju g\u00ebnjeja po t\u2019ju thoja se at\u00eb dit\u00eb isha shum\u00eb e g\u00ebzuar. M\u00eb shum\u00eb isha e shokuar, sepse gj\u00ebrat kishin rrjedhur shum\u00eb shpejt dhe un\u00eb, po pranoja t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha pjes\u00eb e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb nj\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb e kisha njohur n\u00eb gazet\u00eb (sepse un\u00eb i thash\u00eb \u201cpo\u201d, propozimit t\u00eb tij, ju e kuptoni…), gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk e kisha menduar kurr\u00eb.
\nN\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, at\u00eb nat\u00eb, m\u00eb kujtoheshin t\u00eb gjitha dyshimet q\u00eb kisha patur p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb shkruanin n\u00eb gazet\u00eb dhe me sa munges\u00eb besimi e kisha marr\u00eb numrin e tij t\u00eb telefonit. Ja nj\u00eb jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme dhe po kaq t\u00eb \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm jeni edhe ju, sepse nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb e njihja nga af\u00ebr m\u00eb kishte mashtruar keq, nd\u00ebrsa dikush q\u00eb e njoha n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet njoftimeve tuaja, ma ka b\u00ebr\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00eb bukur dhe sot, q\u00eb t\u00eb dy, presim t\u00eb lumtur t\u00eb njohim beben q\u00eb mbaj n\u00eb bark dhe q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb fryt i dashuris\u00eb son\u00eb…
\nPrandaj, dua t\u2019ju fal\u00ebnderoj, e dashur redaksi, sepse megjith\u00ebse ne nuk duam ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb publike lidhjen ton\u00eb me em\u00ebr e mbiem\u00ebr (mos na e merrni p\u00ebr keq, por e dim\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb na paragjykojn\u00eb, po t\u2019u tregojm\u00eb si jemi njohur), prap\u00eb se prap\u00eb, jua dim\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr nder q\u00eb na njoh\u00ebt s\u00eb bashku dhe q\u00eb sot, fal\u00eb jush, presim t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi prind\u00ebr. Faleminderit dhe g\u00ebzuar festat! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje redaksi e gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d. Ju keni qen\u00eb gazeta q\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndjekur n\u00eb adoleshenc\u00eb, bile q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri e deri m\u00eb sot. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye po ju shkruaj sot, sepse dua n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u2019ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb keni b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr mua\u2026 N\u00eb fakt, kur ju kam shkruar p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7336"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7336\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}