– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje doktor Demiraj! Un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 21 vje\u00e7e dhe kam nj\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim shum\u00eb t\u00eb madh, t\u00eb cilin nuk di me k\u00eb ta shpreh. Ndihem shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar nga kjo q\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodh. M\u00eb besoni, edhe tani q\u00eb po ju shkruaj, jam duke qar\u00eb… Q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, m\u00eb vinin mendime t\u00eb k\u00ebqija dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebrisja veprimet, por at\u00ebhere nuk e kuptoja \u00e7far\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodhte. Tani q\u00eb jam m\u00eb e vet\u00ebdijshme p\u00ebr veprimet e mia, kam kuptuar se kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb normale. Un\u00eb i p\u00ebrs\u00ebris veprimet 3-4 her\u00eb, deri 23 her\u00eb apo edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Kam mendime t\u00eb k\u00ebqia gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs, sikur n\u00ebse nuk e p\u00ebrs\u00ebris veprimin (p\u00ebr shembull, n\u00ebse nuk e shtroj \u00e7ar\u00e7afin aq her\u00eb) do s\u00ebmurem, do vdes.
\nQ\u00ebkur isha n\u00eb klas\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, kur b\u00ebja detyrat, kur shkruaja nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, e zhgarravisja, e shkruaja s\u00ebrish, e zhgarravisja p\u00ebrs\u00ebri dhe kjo ndodhte disa her\u00eb. Kur isha e vog\u00ebl, m\u00eb filluan disa dhimbje n\u00eb an\u00ebn e djatht\u00eb t\u00eb barkut dhe motra m\u00eb tha q\u00eb ishte apendesiti e duhet t\u00eb operohesha. Mendimi sikur kisha apendesitin, sikur do t\u00eb m\u00eb fillonin dhimbje t\u00eb m\u00ebdha dhe do shkoja n\u00eb spital t\u00eb operohesha, filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb shfaqej \u00e7do dit\u00eb. P\u00ebr shembull, kur shkoja ne plazh, nuk duhet t\u00eb vishja ato rroba banjo, por k\u00ebto t\u00eb tjerat se n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se do vishja ato, do m\u00eb b\u00ebhej apendesiti. At\u00ebhere isha e vog\u00ebl, nuk i kuptoja t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebritja e veprimeve ishte m\u00eb e pak\u00ebt, kurse tani vendosa t’ju shkruaj sepse jam shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar. Kur b\u00ebj st\u00ebrvitje, rrobat, para se t’i l\u00eb n\u00eb vend, duhet t’i v\u00eb e t’i marr shum\u00eb her\u00eb, n\u00ebn rregulla strikte. P\u00ebr shembull, n\u00ebse i \u00e7oj te dhoma tjet\u00ebr nj\u00eb her\u00eb dhe rruga \u00ebsht\u00eb pa njeri, kur t\u2019i \u00e7oj her\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb, rruga p\u00ebrs\u00ebri duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb e lir\u00eb. N\u00ebse mami e hap der\u00ebn nj\u00eb her\u00eb, m\u00eb vijn\u00eb mendime shum\u00eb t\u00eb keqija, q\u00eb n\u00ebse nuk e hap prap\u00eb, do t\u00eb s\u00ebmurem dhe detyrohem ta p\u00ebrs\u00ebris veprimin. Pothuaj \u00e7do gj\u00eb duhet ta b\u00ebj me rregulla strikte. P\u00ebr shembull, n\u00ebse e l\u00eb di\u00e7ka n\u00eb nj\u00eb vend ku nuk ka sende t\u00eb tjera, nuk duhet q\u00eb kur ta marr at\u00eb, t\u00eb jet\u00eb i rrethuar nga sende t\u00eb tjera. Ose n\u00ebse e hap drit\u00ebn un\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb person e fik, duhet patjet\u00ebr ta hap\u00eb ai q\u00eb e fiku dhe jo un\u00eb. Nuk e di pse i kam t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se nuk e p\u00ebrs\u00ebris nj\u00eb veprim aq her\u00eb sa mendoj, jam shum\u00eb nervoze e n\u00eb tension. Theksoj q\u00eb kam kaluar para 4 vitesh nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb mjaft t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak se kam pasur shum\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb babin dhe nisa t\u00eb mendoja vet\u00ebm gj\u00ebra t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. Kisha shum\u00eb shqet\u00ebsime t\u00eb ndryshme at\u00ebher\u00eb, si marrje fryme, rrahje t\u00eb shpeshta t\u00eb zemres, marrje mendsh, mpirje, k\u00ebputje etj. U vizitova n\u00eb nj\u00eb psikiat\u00ebr, i cili m\u00eb dha t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorja nj\u00eb ila\u00e7, Flusetin, gjysm\u00eb kokrre n\u00eb dit\u00eb, q\u00eb e p\u00ebrdora rreth 2 vjet. Gjat\u00eb periudh\u00ebs q\u00eb e p\u00ebrdorja at\u00eb, ndihesha shum\u00eb mir\u00eb. Nuk kisha mendime t\u00eb k\u00ebqia, mendoja normalisht dhe veprimet i p\u00ebrs\u00ebrisja por jo aq shum\u00eb her\u00eb dhe ndihesha m\u00eb e qet\u00eb. Kam rreth 2 vjet q\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebrdor m\u00eb e p\u00ebrs\u00ebri m\u00eb filluan mendimet e k\u00ebqia, nervozizmi, nuk e duroj dot rr\u00ebmuj\u00ebn, m\u00eb b\u00ebn shum\u00eb nervoze, nuk e duroj dot zhurm\u00ebn, kur p\u00ebrs\u00ebris veprimet nuk dua t\u00eb nd\u00ebrhyj\u00eb absolutisht asnj\u00eb njeri. P\u00ebrs\u00ebritja e veprimeve m\u00eb merr pothuajse gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn. Sa zgjohem e deri kur fle, pothuajse \u00e7do veprim q\u00eb b\u00ebj duhet ta p\u00ebrs\u00ebris se p\u00ebrndryshe, mendoj se do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndodh\u00eb ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb e keqe. Kjo situat\u00eb e padurueshme m\u00eb ka filluar sidomos n\u00eb dy muajt e fundit, pasi kam patur edhe diplom\u00ebn, por edhe tani q\u00eb e p\u00ebrfundova, ndihem shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar, me humor t\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb, e m\u00ebrzitur shum\u00eb. Ndihem shum\u00eb e lodhur, e kam kok\u00ebn plot, nuk jam e p\u00ebrqendruar si\u00e7 kam qen\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb. Jam shum\u00eb nervoze, dua t\u00eb rri vet\u00ebm, kam nj\u00eb m\u00ebrzitje dhe nj\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim shum\u00eb t\u00eb madh, m\u00eb duket sikur do \u00e7mendem. Ju lutem, m\u00eb thoni, \u00e7far\u00eb kam? A ka sh\u00ebrim e gjith\u00eb kjo? K\u00ebshtu do ngelem? \u00c7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj? Ju faleminderit! Me respekt.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuar vajz\u00eb, le ta fillojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje me disa fjal\u00eb t\u00eb mira… S\u00eb pari, t\u00eb uroj p\u00ebr diplom\u00ebn, s\u00eb dyti, t\u00eb fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb let\u00ebr aq t\u00eb qart\u00eb e t\u00eb plot\u00eb, s\u00eb treti, t\u00eb siguroj se k\u00ebto q\u00eb ti ke pasqyruar nuk jan\u00eb s\u00ebmundje dhe as nuk t\u00eb \u00e7ojn\u00eb n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje, por jan\u00eb gjendje ankthi, keqp\u00ebrshtatje t\u00eb cilat n\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn psikologjike quhen \u00e7rregullime obsesive-kompulsive (Cok) e q\u00eb dikur jan\u00eb quajtur neuroza. P\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb problemin t\u00ebnd, duhet t\u00eb kuptosh se \u00e7far\u00eb jan\u00eb k\u00ebto \u00e7rregullime.
\n\u00c7rregullimet obsesive jan\u00eb frik\u00ebra dhe dyshime t\u00eb shoq\u00ebruara me ankth, jan\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha llojet e fiksimeve (vesveset, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli). Ato u japin njer\u00ebzve gjendje m\u00ebrzie, trishtimi, lodhje, shtim t\u00eb rrahjeve t\u00eb zemr\u00ebs, mosmbushje me frym\u00eb, plus edhe frik\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb cilat me kalimin e koh\u00ebs b\u00ebhen si t\u00eb \u201cngulitura\u201d, p\u00ebr shembull, frik\u00eb se mos vdes, se mos \u00e7mendem, se mos humb kontrollin etj. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto quhen mendime obsesive t\u00eb cilat ty vajz\u00eb t\u00eb vijn\u00eb dhe nuk i prodhon mendja jote, ndaj mos u ndjej \u201cfajtore\u201d. Ato e alarmojn\u00eb vet\u00ebdijen t\u00ebnde dhe krijojn\u00eb edhe ca ide \u201cderalizimi\u201d, aq sa t\u00eb duket sikur e keqja \u00ebsht\u00eb e pashmangshme dhe bota po p\u00ebrmbyset mbi ty. N\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn fetare, k\u00ebto quhen ide ose dyshime p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat shkak b\u00ebhet \u201cshejtani\u201d ose \u201cdjalli\u201d e q\u00eb fillojn\u00eb q\u00eb nga gj\u00ebrat e thjeshta (si p\u00ebr shembull, frika p\u00ebr sh\u00ebndetin) e deri te gj\u00ebrat e m\u00ebdha (si p\u00ebr shembull p\u00ebr besimtar\u00ebt, frika nga mospasja e besimit te Zoti etj.). N\u00eb mendjen e njeriut, k\u00ebto paraqiten shpesh aq t\u00eb \u201cargumentuara\u201d sa njeriu i gjor\u00eb, edhe pse e kupton se s\u2019duhet t\u2019i ket\u00eb e as nuk ka pun\u00eb me to, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri nuk i shmang dot dhe ato i p\u00ebrs\u00ebriten n\u00eb mendje pa pushim, aq sa i duken t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta. Ja, pra, se si u krijuan k\u00ebto vesvese n\u00eb form\u00eb refleksesh dhe njeriu, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u2019u kthej\u00eb shpin\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb merret me pun\u00ebt e veta t\u00eb dobishme, rri e merret me to dhe mendja e tij \u201cshpik\u201d lloj-lloj shpjegimesh, deri te kompulsionet. Po kompulsionet, \u00e7\u2019jan\u00eb?! Kompulsionet jan\u00eb disa veprime ose rituale (jo logjike) t\u00eb cilat t\u00eb kan\u00eb ardhur n\u00eb mendje dhe, edhe pse gj\u00ebra kot, t\u00eb kan\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebr momentin pak leht\u00ebsi dhe ti i ke p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur e krijuar me kalimin e koh\u00ebs k\u00ebto rregulla t\u00eb gabuara, strikte, si\u00e7 thua ti. Por, n\u00eb fakt, nuk jan\u00eb edhe aq strikte sepse p\u00ebrs\u00ebri nuk t\u00eb l\u00eb rehat \u201cshejtani\u201d, pasi t\u00eb k\u00ebrkon q\u00eb t\u2019i shtosh ato… K\u00ebtu tani kemi t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb me nj\u00eb refleks tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb kusht\u00ebzuar (t\u00eb gabuar), me nj\u00eb keqp\u00ebrshtatje, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb, pra, veprime q\u00eb nuk i b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, t\u00eb cilat na bien ndesh edhe me logjik\u00ebn e megjithat\u00eb, vazhdojm\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebjm\u00eb. N\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar, ju besoni ose ndjeni sikur k\u00ebto kompulsione (keqp\u00ebrshtatje) i leht\u00ebsojn\u00eb obsesionet, kur n\u00eb fakt, jan\u00eb ato q\u00eb i mbajn\u00eb gjall\u00eb ato. Kujtoni Pavllovin q\u00eb eksperimentoi me qenin refleksin e gabuar si di\u00e7ka e m\u00ebsuar, duke ia shoq\u00ebruar ushqimin me ndezjen e llamp\u00ebs e q\u00eb m\u00eb pas llampa i shkaktonte \u201cl\u00ebng\u00ebzim\u201d, pasi sh\u00ebrbente si \u201csinjal\u201d, p\u00ebr ushqimin. Kujtoni pastaj se si qeni p\u00ebrs\u00ebri u \u00e7m\u00ebsua kur llampa nuk shoq\u00ebrohej m\u00eb me ushqim dhe \u201cl\u00ebng\u00ebzimi\u201d nuk i vinte m\u00eb pas ca koh\u00ebsh. K\u00ebshtu, pra, edhe ju jeni \u201cm\u00ebsuar\u201d keq e duhet t\u00eb \u00e7m\u00ebsoheni. K\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb nuk e b\u00ebni dot vet\u00ebm e as nuk e b\u00ebjn\u00eb ila\u00e7et, por psikoterapia me llojet e saj e disa seanca. Si shembull, po ju tregoj di\u00e7ka nga jeta ime:
\n– N\u00eb shkoll\u00ebn fillore, gjyshja ime m\u00eb pati th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos lejoja njeri t\u00eb m\u00eb prekte n\u00eb fyt se \u201ct\u00eb b\u00ebhet gusha\u201d (nj\u00eb lloj fryrjeje si tullumbace). Gjyshja ma thoshte k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos zihesha e t\u00eb mos kapeshim p\u00ebr fyti me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, mir\u00ebpo nj\u00eb dit\u00eb un\u00eb pash\u00eb nj\u00eb njeri me \u201cgush\u00eb\u201d dhe filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb dhimbte gusha ime, sidomos po t\u00eb m\u00eb prekte ndonj\u00eb. Ky tani ishte obsesioni dhe dhimbjet i shkaktonte n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste psikosomatikja. Kur i tregova gjyshes, ajo m\u00eb m\u00ebsoi q\u00eb t\u2019i fryja \u00e7do sendi q\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb prekte gush\u00ebn dhe k\u00ebshtu, dhimbja do t\u00eb m\u00eb kalonte. Kjo m\u00eb rezultoi si e \u201cv\u00ebrtet\u00eb\u201d, pra, m\u00eb dha \u201crezultat\u201d dhe kushdo q\u00eb m\u00eb prekte, qoft\u00eb edhe dora ime, duhej q\u00eb t\u2019i fryja q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb pushonte dhimbja e bezdia q\u00eb ndjeja te fyti. Ja, k\u00ebtu u krijua rregulli i gabuar, ose e th\u00ebn\u00eb ndryshe, kompulsioni (keqp\u00ebrshtatja). Isha n\u00eb klas\u00eb t\u00eb kat\u00ebrt n\u00eb fillore, kur pash\u00eb babain e nj\u00eb shokut t\u00eb klas\u00ebs me gush\u00ebn t\u00eb fryr\u00eb si balon\u00eb e kisha frik\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i afrohesha se m\u00eb dukej sikur po t\u2019ia prekja, do t\u2019i p\u00ebllciste dhe ndjeva shum\u00eb keqardhje p\u00ebr at\u00eb, por edhe p\u00ebr shokun e klas\u00ebs q\u00eb mund t\u00eb mbetej pa baba. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment, ndjeja q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb dhimbte edhe gusha ime dhe jak\u00ebn e golfit e t\u00ebrhoqa dhe e kalova mbi mjek\u00ebr. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e hiqja golfin dhe nga ajo dit\u00eb, nuk m\u00eb duronte m\u00eb fyti as veshjet, madje as shallin. Ja pra, \u00e7\u2019m\u00eb ndodhi e pyesja veten \u00e7\u2019ishin ato dhimbje. Pse u krijuan? Pse ato m\u2019i \u201chiqte\u201d n\u00eb \u00e7ast fakti q\u00eb un\u00eb i fryja objektit i cili m\u00eb kishte prekur gush\u00ebn? Pse filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb thoshte mendja se fryrja e objektit duhet t\u00eb ishte sa m\u00eb e fort\u00eb, p\u00ebrndryshe nuk m\u00eb pushonte dhimbja? Ndoshta nuk e besoni se ky lloj obsesion-kompulsioni m\u00eb ka shoq\u00ebruar deri kur u b\u00ebra psikolog. Kur ia kuptova \u201csekretin\u201d dhe kur fillova t\u00eb p\u00ebrballesha duke e f\u00ebrkuar sa t\u00eb mundja fytin e duke mos i fryr\u00eb dor\u00ebs, dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb u \u201cprish\u201d ky rregull i gabuar, u \u00e7\u2018reflektua, u \u00e7m\u00ebsua dhe mua nga ky ushtrim, m\u00eb duket se m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb fyti m\u00eb i fort\u00eb e m\u00eb i duruar sesa qafa. Besoj se u kuptuam. \u00c7rregullimet obsesive kompulsive t\u00eb cilat jan\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme, jan\u00eb torturuese dhe ta \u201cnxijn\u00eb\u201d jet\u00ebn, por lajmi i mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb se ato jan\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht t\u00eb trajtueshme me psikoterapi dhe duhen trajtuar sa m\u00eb par\u00eb sepse t\u00eb kusht\u00ebzojn\u00eb kot s\u00eb koti dhe t\u00eb prishin cil\u00ebsin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs. Tani m\u2019u kujtua se si m\u00eb tha nj\u00eb imam n\u00eb Mek\u00eb p\u00ebr kompulsionet… Ai tha: \u201cDuke b\u00ebr\u00eb kompulsione, ti ia b\u00ebn \u201cqejfin\u201d shejtanit dhe ai, i g\u00ebzuar q\u00eb po t\u00eb g\u00ebnjen, p\u00ebr pak \u00e7aste t\u00eb leht\u00ebson, pastaj ia fillon prap\u00eb e t\u00eb gjen ca stile t\u00eb reja… me lloj-lloj marifetesh\u201d.
\nDikush i ka obsesionet me past\u00ebrtin\u00eb dhe b\u00ebn si kompulsione larje t\u00eb tepruara, pastrime apo shmangie torturuese q\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoj\u00eb nga ankthi, dikush e ka me rregullin, dikush me frik\u00ebn nga ndodhit\u00eb e supersticionet, dikush me rreziqet dhe shmang vendet e mbyllura, lart\u00ebsit\u00eb, arm\u00ebt, sendet e mprehta etj. Por t\u00eb mos harrojm\u00eb se vet\u00eb fakti q\u00eb klienti \u00ebsht\u00eb diagnostikuar me k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7rregullim, e p\u00ebrjashton s\u00ebmundjen psikike (ose psikoz\u00ebn), pasi njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb i nd\u00ebrgjegjsh\u00ebm q\u00eb k\u00ebto nuk duhet t\u2019i ket\u00eb, pra \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb \u201cluft\u00eb\u201d me t\u00eb, por mjerisht i duket sikur nuk i shmang dot. Jo vet\u00ebm trajtimi, por edhe shpjegimi i tyre do \u201cmjesht\u00ebri\u201d t\u00eb madhe, ndaj student\u00ebt e mi kan\u00eb frik\u00eb kur u bie n\u00eb provim kjo tem\u00eb aq \u201cdelikate\u201d dhe me keqp\u00ebrshtatjet pa mbarim e me lloj-lloj \u201c\u00e7udirash\u201d, si\u00e7 e tham\u00eb. Trajtimi me psikoterapi e ila\u00e7e 100 % bimore \u00ebsht\u00eb i garantuar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje doktor Demiraj! Un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 21 vje\u00e7e dhe kam nj\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim shum\u00eb t\u00eb madh, t\u00eb cilin nuk di me k\u00eb ta shpreh. Ndihem shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar nga kjo q\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodh. M\u00eb besoni, edhe tani q\u00eb po ju shkruaj, jam duke qar\u00eb… Q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, m\u00eb vinin mendime […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}