{"id":7128,"date":"2014-12-17T23:18:53","date_gmt":"2014-12-17T22:18:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=7128"},"modified":"2014-12-17T23:18:53","modified_gmt":"2014-12-17T22:18:53","slug":"pse-vajzave-u-pelqejne-djemte-e-keqinj","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/12\/pse-vajzave-u-pelqejne-djemte-e-keqinj\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse vajzave u p\u00eblqejn\u00eb djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pse djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj jan\u00eb objekt i fantazis\u00eb s\u00eb grave? T\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb ruajn\u00eb n\u00eb kujtes\u00ebn e tyre nj\u00eb pasion kalimtar p\u00ebr nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, ose kan\u00eb ndonj\u00eb shoqe q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb lidhur me nj\u00eb tip si ky, q\u00eb e b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuaj\u00eb… Kjo ndodh edhe n\u00eb kinema, apo n\u00eb muzik\u00eb (nj\u00eb shembull \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebnga \u00abEl malo\u00bb (I keqi), i grupit Aventura). P\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar t\u00ebrheqjen e grave ndaj k\u00ebtyre djemve, kemi pyetur psikologen, Patricia Delahe…<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

– Thuhet se vajzave u p\u00eblqejn\u00eb djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj. \u00cbsht\u00eb legjend\u00eb, apo e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Ka lloj-lloj vajzash; disave u p\u00eblqejn\u00eb djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj, disave, djemt\u00eb e sjellsh\u00ebm. K\u00ebto t\u00eb fundit jan\u00eb shpesh m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtura. Kjo joshje varet shpesh nga eksperienca e kaluar: N\u00ebse ke vuajtur n\u00eb jet\u00eb, k\u00ebrkon m\u00eb pas nj\u00eb djal\u00eb xhentil dhe besnik, q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur.<\/p>\n

– Si mund ta njoh\u00ebsh nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb keq?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– N\u00ebse t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuash, at\u00ebhere ke p\u00ebrpara nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb prap\u00eb. Ai nuk na ofron dashuri, por ne duam q\u00eb ai t\u00eb bjer\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri me ne. Duam t\u00eb kemi me t\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb sukses se vajzat e tjera para nesh, q\u00eb nuk ia dol\u00ebn mban\u00eb ta ndryshonin. Duam q\u00eb ai t\u00eb jepet pas nesh, mendojm\u00eb se me ne do t\u00eb jet\u00eb ndryshe. Kur mendojm\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, kur jemi n\u00eb nj\u00eb luft\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, at\u00ebhere kemi p\u00ebrball\u00eb nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb prap\u00eb. Ai mbase nuk njihet q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim, pasi nuk sillet k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn me ne dhe mund ta nxjerr\u00eb kok\u00ebn vet\u00ebm me kalimin e koh\u00ebs…<\/p>\n

– \u00c7far\u00eb u p\u00eblqen vajzave te nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i till\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Rezistenca. Grat\u00eb e nj\u00ebsojn\u00eb rezistenc\u00ebn me burr\u00ebrin\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb loj\u00eb, ku mbizot\u00ebron d\u00ebshira p\u00eb t\u00eb fituar, p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar tjetrin. N\u00ebse ai ndryshon, ka gjasa q\u00eb ato ta duan m\u00eb pak, sepse zhduket sfida, rezistenca q\u00eb ai u b\u00ebn. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye, idealja \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb gjesh nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, me karakter. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, vajzat i duan djemt\u00eb e mir\u00eb, po ato nuk i duan djemt\u00eb e squllur!<\/p>\n

– Ku e ka origjin\u00ebn kjo joshje?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Ajo mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb e rast\u00ebsishme. Bie n\u00eb dashuri me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb, ai t\u00eb duket misterioz, lidhesh me t\u00eb dhe m\u00eb pas e kupton se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i keq. Kjo joshje mund t\u00eb vij\u00eb nga fakti q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri na \u00ebsht\u00eb dashur t\u00eb ndeshemi p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar dashurin\u00eb e dikujt q\u00eb na refuzonte, ose nuk na e jepte gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebn (shpesh mamaja, apo babai).<\/p>\n

– T\u00eb gjitha bien pre e nj\u00eb djali t\u00eb keq, apo vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb lloj i caktuar vajzash?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Kjo varet shpesh nga e kaluara. Vajzat q\u00eb mendojn\u00eb se dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb e leht\u00eb dhe e qet\u00eb, nuk rrin\u00eb me djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj. Ato nuk i durojn\u00eb dot vuajtjet dhe largohen prej tyre. Ka pra nga ato q\u00eb ia duan t\u00eb mir\u00ebn veten dhe nga ato q\u00eb kan\u00eb nj\u00eb aft\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebndruar n\u00eb nj\u00eb lidhje, megjith\u00ebse nuk jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb lumtura n\u00eb t\u00eb.<\/p>\n

– \u00cbsht\u00eb gj\u00eb e keqe t\u00eb joshesh nga nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i till\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Po dhe jo, sepse ka djem t\u00eb k\u00ebqinj q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb. Ata kan\u00eb frik\u00eb nga dashuria p\u00ebr nj\u00ebfar\u00eb kohe dhe mund t\u2019i ndryshosh, pra, t\u2019ua fitosh zemr\u00ebn. Ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb, t\u00eb qenit t\u00eb k\u00ebqinj \u00ebsht\u00eb thjesht nj\u00eb rast\u00ebsi. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb thelb i till\u00eb, n\u00ebse e ka n\u00eb gjak, at\u00ebhere rrezikon t\u00eb vuash dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka e keqe. Disa vajza ndjehen t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqura me k\u00ebt\u00eb situat\u00eb, por me \u00e7far\u00eb \u00e7mimi? Cila \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrqindja e lumturis\u00eb dhe ajo e lot\u00ebve?<\/p>\n

– T\u00eb duash nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb prap\u00eb, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb duash t\u2019i b\u00ebsh keq vetes t\u00ebnde?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Un\u00eb nuk besoj shum\u00eb te mazokizmi. Mund t\u00eb kesh r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri pa e kuptuar an\u00ebn e tij t\u00eb keqe, pra, t\u00eb vuash dhe prap\u00eb t\u00eb zgjedh\u00ebsh t\u00eb rrish me t\u00eb. Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb se duam me q\u00ebllim t\u00eb l\u00ebndojm\u00eb veten; kjo ndodh ngaq\u00eb jemi t\u00eb lidhura me t\u00eb dhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq e leht\u00eb t\u00eb ndahesh. Por, n\u00ebse kemi aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb vuajtur, q\u00ebndrojm\u00eb me t\u00eb sepse kemi krijuar nj\u00eb rezistenc\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb ndaj dhimbjes psikike. Pastaj, q\u00ebndrimi me t\u00eb nuk ka vet\u00ebm an\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqija. Ne vuajm\u00eb, por nga ana tjet\u00ebr, atyre mund t\u2019u dukemi seksi, t\u00eb gjalla, etj. Lidhja mund t\u00eb ofroj\u00eb nj\u00eb dimension t\u00eb vetes q\u00eb nuk e njihnim. Nuk besoj se mund t\u00eb q\u00ebndrosh me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, kur t\u00eb sjell vet\u00ebm vuajtje. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb kemi nj\u00eb instikt mbijetese!<\/p>\n

– \u00c7far\u00eb duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00ebse jemi t\u00eb dashuruara me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– T\u2019i th\u00ebrras\u00ebsh arsyes. N\u00ebse vuan, duhet t\u00eb largohesh prej tij! T\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohesh q\u00eb kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb, q\u00eb ky burr\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr ty. Duhet t\u00eb duash veten, dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtosh lumturin\u00eb s\u00eb bashku. T\u00eb rrish vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur dik\u00eb pran\u00eb, kjo nuk shkon, kjo krijon drama. Duhet d\u00ebgjuar vetja, sepse thell\u00eb n\u00eb shpirt, ti e ke kuptuar se kjo lidhje nuk ka t\u00eb ardhme.<\/p>\n

– Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, ekzistojn\u00eb vajza t\u00eb k\u00ebqija, prej t\u00eb cilave joshen disa burra?<\/strong><\/p>\n

– Po, ekzakt\u00ebsisht me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb. Edhe ne grat\u00eb mund t\u00eb joshemi pak nga nj\u00eb burr\u00eb, me t\u00eb cilin mund t\u00eb luajm\u00eb dhe t\u00eb sillemi, ashtu si burrat sillen me ne. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast jan\u00eb burrat ata q\u00eb u p\u00eblqen rezistenca n\u00eb dashuri.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pse djemt\u00eb e k\u00ebqinj jan\u00eb objekt i fantazis\u00eb s\u00eb grave? T\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb ruajn\u00eb n\u00eb kujtes\u00ebn e tyre nj\u00eb pasion kalimtar p\u00ebr nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, ose kan\u00eb ndonj\u00eb shoqe q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb lidhur me nj\u00eb tip si ky, q\u00eb e b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuaj\u00eb… Kjo ndodh edhe n\u00eb kinema, apo n\u00eb muzik\u00eb (nj\u00eb shembull \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebnga […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[905,689],"class_list":["post-7128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-seks","tag-vajza"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7128\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}