– I nderuar psikolog, jam e dashuruar me dik\u00eb q\u00eb e kam shum\u00eb af\u00ebr, por takohemi rrall\u00eb se nuk kemi mund\u00ebsi takimi. Dua ta harroj, por nuk mundem, se shikohemi shum\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb. Jam shum\u00eb e stresuar e vet\u00ebm qaj, gjumi m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb fare, oreksi m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb prer\u00eb, b\u00ebhem dyll\u00eb e verdh\u00eb, m\u00eb trazohet stomaku dhe nuk rri dot n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb. M\u00eb err\u00ebsohen syt\u00eb, m\u00eb merret fryma nga m\u00ebrzia se as e takoj dot dhe as e harroj dot. Jam gjall\u00eb se nuk vdes dot. Kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00ebn tuaj. Linda.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuara Linda, kjo letra jote tregon m\u00eb s\u00eb miri se dashuria e fort\u00eb ka brenda edhe at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet \u201cpjesa e \u00e7menduris\u00eb\u201d. Pse jo, p\u00ebr ju mund t\u00eb thoja: E s\u00ebmur\u00eb nga dashuria, n\u00eb da\u00e7i me thonj\u00ebza, n\u00eb da\u00e7i pa thonj\u00ebza, por ja gjendja juaj: Shum\u00eb e stresuar, vet\u00ebm qan, pa gjum\u00eb, pa oreks, dyll\u00eb e verdh\u00eb, me stomak t\u00eb trazuar, t\u00eb err\u00ebsohen syt\u00eb, nuk rri dot n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb, aq sa nuk ndjehesh se je gjall\u00eb. E qart\u00eb: ankth dhe depresion! Por, mos u tremb, se quhet depresion reagues q\u00eb ka lidhje me nj\u00eb problem, me nj\u00eb ngjarje, pra, futet te depresionet normale, q\u00eb sh\u00ebrohet me terapit\u00eb e \u00ebmbla: Psikoterapi dhe ila\u00e7e 100 % bimore. Pra, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb p\u00ebr ty, porse nuk duhet t\u00eb vonohet trajtimi, pasi edhe pse depresion normal, duke u zgjatur, me koh\u00eb, vjen nj\u00eb dit\u00eb q\u00eb ai nuk dallohet m\u00eb nga depresioni psikologjik, p\u00ebr shkak se ty t\u00eb jan\u00eb prishur ekuilibrat n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ekstreme dhe \u00e7do dit\u00eb q\u00eb kalon n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje, t\u00eb shtohen vuajtjet e po futesh n\u00eb rreth vicioz. Po t\u00eb duash, kliko tek emisioni \u201cTakimi i pasdites\u201d Jashar Demiri dhe aty do t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh se \u00e7far\u00eb substancash t\u00eb dobishme krijon dashuria p\u00ebr organizimin, si: Seratonin\u00eb, melatonin\u00eb e shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjera q\u00eb s\u2019po t\u2019i p\u00ebrmend dot k\u00ebtu.
\nRomeo e Zhuljeta, nuk do t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin t\u00eb \u201cpavdeksh\u00ebm\u201d p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e tyre po t\u00eb mos kishte aq shum\u00eb pengesa… Pra, po t\u00eb realizohej, dashuria e tyre do t\u00eb konsumohej, pa e marr\u00eb vesh askush dhe ata nuk do t\u00eb ishin m\u00eb Romeo e Zhuljet\u00eb… Un\u00eb nuk i di rrethanat e tua, ndoshta ti mund t\u00eb jesh grua e martuar dhe ne do t\u00eb thonim: \u201cAh, sikur njeriu t\u00eb ishte i lir\u00eb si kafshet\u201d, porse njeriu s\u2019mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i lir\u00eb si kafsh\u00ebt sepse vet\u00eb Krijuesi, kafsh\u00ebve, n\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb logjik\u00ebs, u ka krijuar shum\u00eb leht\u00ebsira t\u00eb tjera, pra \u201cfavore\u201d, por edhe ua ka \u201cmbyllur\u201d seksin dhe ato mund ta p\u00ebrdorin at\u00eb vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr shum\u00ebzim. Kurse te njeriu, v\u00ebrtet \u00ebsht\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb \u201c\u00e7el\u00ebsi\u201d i seksit hapur, pra, jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr shum\u00ebzim, por edhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi, por kjo duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb duke u \u201cudh\u00ebhequr\u201d nga truri, super organi i \u00e7do gjallese e sidomos, i supergjalles\u00ebs njeri. Kam th\u00ebn\u00eb dikur n\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje: \u201cO njer\u00ebz! Ashtu si\u00e7 mbroni pron\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb drejtat tuaja, mbrojeni edhe dashurin\u00eb sepse ekziston nj\u00eb e drejt\u00eb themelore q\u00eb quhet e drejta p\u00ebr t\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb rehat…\u201d
\nMir\u00ebpo, po t\u00eb kemi parasysh telenovel\u00ebn turke \u201cDashuri e ndaluar\u201d, me siguri, t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve ju vjen keq p\u00ebr Adnanin i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb i viktimizuar nga njer\u00ebzit e vet dhe me siguri q\u00eb edhe Zoti i nd\u00ebshkon ata t\u00eb cil\u00ebt i b\u00ebjn\u00eb keq pas krah\u00ebve bamir\u00ebsit t\u00eb vet. Martesa, n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb kontrat\u00eb e cila do respektuar e n\u00ebse lind nj\u00eb dashuri jasht\u00eb martese, ne mund t\u00eb themi: \u201cDashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u201c\u00e7mendur\u201d, nuk jemi ne!\u201d. K\u00ebt\u00eb, shum\u00eb vet\u00eb e thon\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u justifikuar, porse un\u00eb do t\u00eb thoja: \u201cLe t\u00eb \u00e7mendet dashuria, t\u00eb ruhemi q\u00eb t\u00eb mos \u201c\u00e7mendemi\u201d ne\u201d.
\nN\u00ebse nj\u00eb martes\u00eb resht s\u00eb ekzistuari apo n\u00eb mes futet nj\u00eb dashuri e re, e fuqishme, ekziston edhe e drejta p\u00ebr divorc. Divorcin e shohim si nj\u00eb zgjidhje t\u00eb keqe, por gjithsesi t\u00eb pranueshme, q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt ka lidhje me t\u00eb drejtat dhe lirit\u00eb e njeriut. Por, a ia vlen t\u00eb b\u00ebsh divorc p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dashuri t\u00eb re, t\u00eb fort\u00eb, por gjithsesi t\u00eb \u201c\u00e7mendur\u201d e kalimtare?! Un\u00eb them se jo! M\u00eb mir\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte q\u00eb ta kalonim k\u00ebt\u00eb faz\u00eb \u201cdob\u00ebsie\u201d deri n\u00eb depresion me asistenc\u00ebn e psikologut, i cili m\u00ebson gjith\u00e7ka rreth teje, por nuk tregon asgj\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb prishte pun\u00eb ty apo familjes etj., pasi psikologu ruan me jet\u00eb sekretin e dobish\u00ebm pasi nuk ka asnj\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb konfidencialitetin me klientin. Mos u \u00e7uditni, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb fisnik, gati qante p\u00ebr t\u00eb shoqen e cila kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri me dik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, por ai nuk e dinte. Ky qante nga dashuria e dhimbshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb, kurse ajo qante p\u00ebr t\u00eb dy, p\u00ebr burrin e tradhtuar dhe p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. M\u2019u betua ky njeri se, aq shum\u00eb e donte t\u00eb shoqen sa do ta lejonte vet\u00eb me shum\u00eb dhimbje q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb takonte at\u00eb tjetrin, vet\u00ebm e vet\u00ebm q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb mos i d\u00ebmtohej nga depresioni e t\u00eb mos prishej familja. Ky k\u00ebt\u00eb e tha me shpirt e me dhimbje shpirti, pa e ditur se pik\u00ebrisht ky ishte shkaku, nj\u00eb shkak i kobsh\u00ebm t\u00eb cilin ai gjithsesi nuk duhet ta merrte vesh. Kjo grua vuante sepse as k\u00ebsaj nuk ia pranonte logjika shkeljen e kuror\u00ebs, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr q\u00eb kishte shum\u00eb respekt p\u00ebr t\u00eb shoqin, por edhe nj\u00eb lloj dhimbshurie si prej n\u00ebne p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Ja, pra, \u00e7\u2019b\u00ebn fuqia e magjia e dashuris\u00eb, pavar\u00ebsisht se t\u00ebrheqja seksuale ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb magnet, aq i fort\u00eb sa nuk na l\u00eb koh\u00eb as t\u00eb mendohemi, por gjithsesi, kujdes! Prandaj i kemi \u201cfrenat\u201d dhe \u201ctimonin\u201d! \u00c7do njeri \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi p\u00ebr nevojat e veta, p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebn ose nuk b\u00ebn dhe, kur dashuria lidhet me sh\u00ebndetin, nd\u00ebrhyjm\u00eb edhe ne doktor\u00ebt. Gruas s\u00eb sip\u00ebrp\u00ebrmendur un\u00eb i krijova bindjen se njeriu asgj\u00eb s\u2019e ka t\u00eb tij\u00ebn nj\u00ebher\u00eb e p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb, pra, ai duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsohet me iden\u00eb se \u00e7do gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrkohshme, edhe jeta vet\u00eb. Ata b\u00ebn\u00eb disa seanca dhe ajo iu shmang depresionit.
\nNdoshta nuk e besoni q\u00eb ky \u00e7ift m\u00eb jan\u00eb betuar se tani e kan\u00eb ndjer\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb quajt\u00ebn \u201cmuajin e mjaltit\u201d. Shpeshher\u00eb, dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e lidhur me sh\u00ebndetin mendor, saq\u00eb ne nuk e dallojm\u00eb dot se ku fillon kufiri i asaj q\u00eb quhet normale dhe jonormale, pra, patologjikes. M\u00eb vjen nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i cili ishte trajtuar me ila\u00e7e skizofrenie sepse shpesh, jo n\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr, por dhe i zgjuar, ai shihte nj\u00eb grua me sy t\u00eb bukur e cila i rrinte pran\u00eb, por nuk i fliste, as nuk e prekte, madje e donte. Djali nuk trembej nga kjo grua, madje ishte \u201cm\u00ebsuar\u201d me t\u00eb se ajo i \u201cvinte\u201d m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb momente t\u00eb trishtuara. Gjat\u00eb seancave, zbulova nj\u00eb \u00e7udi: Djali nuk e dinte se kjo ishte n\u00ebna vet biologjike, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn babai i tij e kish divorcuar p\u00ebr tradhti kur djali ishte vet\u00ebm 2 vje\u00e7 dhe as nuk e mbante mend, porse njerka i ishte paraqitur si n\u00ebna e vet. Ai kujtonte se e ka njerk\u00ebn n\u00ebn\u00eb, por nuk e donte, edhe pse ajo kujdesej shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Kjo gj\u00eb u zbulua gjat\u00eb hipnoterapis\u00eb, kur un\u00eb e kalova at\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje q\u00eb quhet gjendje \u201ctranci\u201d. Takova babain e k\u00ebtij djali dhe i tregova arysen e \u201cs\u00ebmundjes\u201d. Ram\u00eb dakord, e gjet\u00ebm at\u00eb grua dhe e takuam me djalin e vet biologjik. Djali qau e tha: \u201cPo, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo e m\u00eb del vet\u00ebm se ajo q\u00eb shoh un\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb pak m\u00eb e re, por ja: k\u00ebta sy, kjo buz\u00ebqeshje… t\u00eb gjitha\u201d. Ja, pra, \u00e7far\u00eb kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb dashuria, kishte mbijetuar ashtu si zjarri i mbuluar nga hiri i koh\u00ebs…
\nDo t\u00eb ishte mir\u00eb q\u00eb skenarist\u00ebt e filmave t\u00eb shfryt\u00ebzonin k\u00ebt\u00eb rast p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar se sa e fort\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dashuria e se \u00e7far\u00eb pasojash ka divorci. E nderuar let\u00ebrshkruese! Sa m\u00eb par\u00eb duhet q\u00eb t\u00eb vini p\u00ebr trajtim q\u00eb t\u2019i v\u00ebm\u00eb \u201cgardh\u201d depresionit patologjik.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– I nderuar psikolog, jam e dashuruar me dik\u00eb q\u00eb e kam shum\u00eb af\u00ebr, por takohemi rrall\u00eb se nuk kemi mund\u00ebsi takimi. Dua ta harroj, por nuk mundem, se shikohemi shum\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb. Jam shum\u00eb e stresuar e vet\u00ebm qaj, gjumi m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb fare, oreksi m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb prer\u00eb, b\u00ebhem dyll\u00eb e verdh\u00eb, m\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6847"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6847\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}