Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb burr\u00eb shum\u00eb i vetmuar. Jeta m\u00eb ka v\u00ebn\u00eb para nj\u00eb prove shum\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, q\u00eb nuk e di a do mundem ta p\u00ebrballoj. Kur isha i vog\u00ebl, d\u00ebgjoja prind\u00ebrit e mi q\u00eb thoshin se \u00e7far\u00eb ke b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb, do t\u00eb ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb shprehje ata e p\u00ebrdornin p\u00ebr t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb dhe thonin se n\u00ebse nuk sillen mir\u00eb me prind\u00ebrit, edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre ne k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb do t\u00eb sillen. At\u00ebhere, kur i d\u00ebgjonim k\u00ebto shprehje, nuk u jepnim shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, por tani q\u00eb na kaloi mosha, po e kuptojm\u00eb se sa shum\u00eb vler\u00eb kan\u00eb…
\nKur isha djal\u00eb i ri, u fejova me mbles\u00ebri dhe ishte pik\u00ebrisht nj\u00eb shoku im q\u00eb nd\u00ebrhyri p\u00ebr lidhjen time me Shqipen. Ajo ishte shum\u00eb e bukur dhe un\u00eb u josha prej bukuris\u00eb s\u00eb saj, pa e kuptuar se hallet dhe problemet me t\u00eb do t\u2019i kisha m\u00eb mbrapa. Prind\u00ebrit e mi jetonin n\u00eb fshat, nd\u00ebrsa ajo ishte vajz\u00eb qyteti dhe nuk preferonte q\u00eb ne t\u00eb jetonim n\u00eb fshat. Un\u00eb isha arsimtar, punoja n\u00eb fshatin ku kisha lindur dhe n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb ishte e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebrnguleshe n\u00eb qytet. N\u00eb fillim, Shqipja pranoi t\u00eb martohej me mua se mendoi se do t\u00eb shp\u00ebrngulesha n\u00eb qytetin e saj, atje ku ajo jetonte e vetme, me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e vet. Mbasi b\u00ebm\u00eb dasm\u00eb, i thash\u00eb nuses se un\u00eb nuk munda ta rregulloja shp\u00ebrnguljen n\u00eb qytet, por ajo, n\u00eb sy t\u00eb tim eti, m\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnoi:
\n– N\u00ebse nuk shp\u00ebrngulemi, un\u00eb do hidhem nga dritarja!
\nI thash\u00eb se kjo nuk ishte n\u00eb dor\u00ebn time, por ajo nuk pyeti, hipi n\u00eb dritare dhe ishte gati t\u00eb hidhej nga kati i dyt\u00eb i sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. E kapa prej krahu dhe e q\u00ebllova me p\u00ebll\u00ebmb\u00eb me sa fuqi kisha. Mbas asaj z\u00ebnke, n\u00eb shpirtin tim nuk pati m\u00eb qet\u00ebsi. Ajo iku dhe m\u00eb tha vet\u00ebm kaq:
\n– N\u00ebse m\u00eb do, di se ku m\u00eb gjen.
\nK\u00ebshtu, ajo mori gj\u00ebrat e saj dhe iku n\u00eb qytet, tek e \u00ebma. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb z\u00ebnk\u00ebn me bashk\u00ebshorten time im at\u00eb e pa dhe, mbasi iku ajo, m\u00eb uli n\u00eb karrige dhe m\u00eb tha:
\n– Djali im, ndaje m\u00eb mir\u00eb sot at\u00eb grua, se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gjarp\u00ebr q\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb haj\u00eb kok\u00ebn!
\nAt\u00ebhere isha vet\u00ebm 25 vje\u00e7 dhe nuk ua kuptova r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e fjal\u00ebve q\u00eb m\u00eb tha im at\u00eb. Menj\u00ebher\u00eb u ngrita n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb dhe i thash\u00eb se un\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha gazi i bot\u00ebs; un\u00eb e doja gruan time dhe do ta ndiqja nga pas. Mbas asaj bisede, u ndava p\u00ebrjet\u00eb nga im at\u00eb. Vendosa t\u00eb shkoja pas gruas sime, pasi ajo n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb ishte dy muajshe shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb dhe nuk mund ta braktisja n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb. Mir\u00ebpo t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb sakrific\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u00eb, gruaja ma mori p\u00ebr dob\u00ebsi dhe e gjith\u00eb jeta me t\u00eb m\u00eb kaloi duke u shnd\u00ebrruar n\u00eb nj\u00eb lod\u00ebr n\u00eb duart e saj, q\u00eb m\u00eb manipulonte si t\u2019i donte qejfi. Mbas dy vjet\u00ebsh, fillova pun\u00eb n\u00eb qytetin e saj dhe k\u00ebshtu, filluam nj\u00eb jet\u00eb normale. Me tim at\u00eb nuk komunikoja fare sepse edhe Shqipja nuk e donte, ngaq\u00eb nuk ishte dakord me lidhjen ton\u00eb. N\u00ebna m\u00eb kish vdekur nga zemra kur un\u00eb isha 15 vje\u00e7 dhe im at\u00eb mezi na kish rritur mua dhe tim v\u00eblla. Ai jetonte me v\u00ebllan\u00eb tim t\u00eb vog\u00ebl dhe shum\u00eb her\u00eb kishte dashur t\u00eb m\u00eb takonte. E dija q\u00eb i pyeste njer\u00ebzit gjithmon\u00eb p\u00ebr mua, por un\u00eb mendoja se ai do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndante nga gruaja prandaj nuk e takova p\u00ebr dhjet\u00eb vjet rresht, deri dit\u00ebn kur m\u00eb erdhi nj\u00eb telegram q\u00eb m\u00eb lajm\u00ebronte se im at\u00eb kishte vdekur…
\nAjo ka qen\u00eb dita m\u00eb e zez\u00eb e jet\u00ebs sime! U ula mbi trupin e tij t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb dhe qaja e qaja pa pushim. N\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb kam kaluar nj\u00eb stres t\u00eb papar\u00eb. Mbas vdekjes s\u00eb tim eti, nuk doja ta shikoja m\u00eb me sy gruan time; \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb shtohej nj\u00eb lloj urrejtjeje p\u00ebr t\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk mundesha ta shmangia dot. Kisha dy vajza q\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb ishin nj\u00ebra 15 dhe tjetra 12 vje\u00e7e. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpi shkoja vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr hatrin e tyre… Sa shum\u00eb e d\u00ebnoja veten q\u00eb nuk i kisha folur tim eti! V\u00ebllai m\u00eb tregonte se ai kishte vdekur, me emrin tim n\u00eb goj\u00eb. Kur isha i ri, nuk ia dija vler\u00ebn prindit, por tani q\u00eb u b\u00ebra prind vet\u00eb, e kuptoj se sa e r\u00ebnd\u00eb ka qen\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb fakti q\u00eb un\u00eb e mohova.
\nMe Shqipen kisha dashur t\u00eb ndahesha prej koh\u00ebsh sepse ajo nuk b\u00ebnte p\u00ebr mua; babai im kishte patur t\u00eb drejt\u00eb… V\u00ebrtet ishte nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr shum\u00eb e bukur, por bukuria nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Un\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb isha nj\u00eb kafsh\u00eb pune. M\u00eb donte vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb sjell\u00eb lek\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe ajo asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk kishte t\u00eb ngopur. Pas vdekjes s\u00eb tim eti, b\u00ebra nj\u00eb debat me t\u00eb dhe n\u00eb fund, i thash\u00eb:
\n– Un\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb sht\u00ebpi jetoj vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vajzat dhe nuk mund t\u00eb fle me ty n\u00eb nj\u00eb krevat!
\nK\u00ebshtu ndodhi p\u00ebr dy vjet derisa un\u00eb vendosa t\u00eb ndahesha prej saj p\u00ebrfundimisht, pasi kisha filluar t\u00eb mos duroja dot m\u00eb as pranin\u00eb e saj n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Mir\u00ebpo t\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, ajo e p\u00ebrdori p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb kund\u00ebr vajzave, t\u00eb cilave ua mbushte kok\u00ebn me lloj\u2013lloj gj\u00ebrash, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ato t\u00eb m\u00eb urrenin dhe t\u00eb mos komunikonin m\u00eb me mua. Ajo u thosh se un\u00eb kisha z\u00ebn\u00eb dashnore dhe prandaj po i braktisja ato. Vajzat ishin n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn m\u00eb delikate dhe ajo, me t\u00eb k\u00ebqijat e saj, kishte filluar t\u2019i manipulonte. I kishte hedhur kundra meje, duke u th\u00ebn\u00eb se un\u00eb nuk i doja ato dhe se asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk i kisha dashur. Por, edhe pse ajo po b\u00ebnte t\u00eb pamundur\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb mbajtur mbas vetes, un\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebri e kisha vendosur: Nuk kthehesha dot n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi t\u00eb shikoja fytyr\u00ebn e saj, at\u00eb fytyr\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb ndau p\u00ebrjet\u00eb me tim at\u00eb. Mbas ndarjes me t\u00eb, sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ua lash\u00eb vajzave dhe un\u00eb, edhe sot e k\u00ebsaj dite, jetoj n\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi me qira, nd\u00ebrsa ajo e arriti q\u00ebllimin e saj, m\u00eb ndau nga vajzat e mia, duke ua ngulitur n\u00eb mendje se un\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb kam qen\u00eb nj\u00eb prind i keq p\u00ebr to.
\nVajzat sot kan\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tyre dhe u b\u00ebn\u00eb gati kat\u00ebr vjet q\u00eb nuk komunikojn\u00eb me mua. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb prind, kjo gj\u00eb qenka v\u00ebrtet shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. Tani, akoma m\u00eb shum\u00eb po e kuptoj se \u00e7far\u00eb ka hequr im at\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00ebn kur un\u00eb nuk komunikoja me t\u00eb. Edhe pse nuk e shpreh, gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb po e kuptoj se k\u00ebto q\u00eb po kaloj jan\u00eb haqet e tim eti, q\u00eb nuk komunikova dhe nuk i fola p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb aq t\u00eb gjat\u00eb.
\nDhembjen e tij po e p\u00ebrjetoj edhe un\u00eb sot dhe \u00e7do dit\u00eb i lutem Zotit t\u2019u jap\u00eb mendje vajzave te mia, t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohen dhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb vijn\u00eb e t\u00eb trokasin n\u00eb der\u00ebn e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb sime. Nd\u00ebrsa ish-gruan e urrej me gjith\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e zemr\u00ebs, sepse ajo m\u00eb ndau nga njer\u00ebzit e mi m\u00eb t\u00eb shtrenjt\u00eb, ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb sot m\u00eb ka l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb vetmin\u00eb time, pa dashurin\u00eb e vajzave t\u00eb mia, t\u00eb cilat m\u00eb mungojn\u00eb \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb burr\u00eb shum\u00eb i vetmuar. Jeta m\u00eb ka v\u00ebn\u00eb para nj\u00eb prove shum\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, q\u00eb nuk e di a do mundem ta p\u00ebrballoj. Kur isha i vog\u00ebl, d\u00ebgjoja prind\u00ebrit e mi q\u00eb thoshin se \u00e7far\u00eb ke b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb, do t\u00eb ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb shprehje ata e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[282],"class_list":["post-6802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-nga-jeta-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6802","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6802"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6802\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6802"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6802"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6802"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}