Pse m\u00eb ndodhin k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra mua? Gabimet e nj\u00ebpasnj\u00ebshme, sidomos n\u00eb dashuri, jan\u00eb ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht t\u00eb dhimbshme. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, ne b\u00ebjm\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar: Dashurohemi me nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb na b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuajm\u00eb, takojm\u00eb nj\u00eb tip egoist, q\u00eb mendon vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, ose dik\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i lidhur dhe nuk ka nd\u00ebrmend t\u00eb l\u00ebr\u00eb gruan\/partneren\/t\u00eb fejuar\u00ebn e k\u00ebshtu me radh\u00eb. Po sikur problemi t\u00eb q\u00ebndronte te ne? Ose m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, sikur gabimi n\u00eb dashuri t\u00eb mos ishte gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se p\u00ebrs\u00ebritja e nj\u00eb mekanizmi t\u00eb gabuar, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin nuk jemi t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjshme? Kemi pyetur nj\u00eb psikolog e psikoterapeut \u00e7iftesh dhe ja, cilat kan\u00eb qen\u00eb k\u00ebshillat e tij…<\/p>\n
1. Mundohu t\u00eb bashk\u00ebrendosh an\u00ebn racionale me at\u00eb emotive
\nNj\u00eb nga problemet m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, thot\u00eb specialisti, lind kur ana logjike dhe ajo emocionale k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb ndryshme. Logjika m\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj nj\u00eb burr\u00eb besnik, emotiviteti k\u00ebrkon ato tensione q\u00eb lindin vet\u00ebm me dik\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb mban si mbi gjemba, nuk m\u00eb jep siguri, m\u00eb tradhton. E r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb pra t\u00eb bashk\u00ebrendojm\u00eb an\u00ebn ton\u00eb racionale me at\u00eb emotive. Sigurisht, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb proces gradual q\u00eb fillon duke dalluar emocionet q\u00eb \u201cna b\u00ebjn\u00eb keq\u201d dhe duke i v\u00ebn\u00eb ato n\u00ebn kontroll. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, mundohuni t\u00eb mos dashuroheni me djalin e prap\u00eb, q\u00eb ju duket ma\u00e7o, etj., por me dik\u00eb me t\u00eb cilin ju lidhin parime dhe ideale t\u00eb nj\u00ebjta p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn.<\/p>\n
2. Z\u00ebvend\u00ebsoji emocionet negative me ato pozitive
\nP\u00ebr t\u00eb evituar p\u00ebrs\u00ebritjen e t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtave gabime n\u00eb dashuri, k\u00ebshillon specialisti, \u00ebsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb mbushemi me emocione pozitive. N\u00ebse ana jon\u00eb emocionale \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201ce uritur\u201d, duhet ta k\u00ebnaqim me emocione pozitive, q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb ndjehemi mir\u00eb. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb pak si ushqimi: Duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsojm\u00eb t\u00eb vler\u00ebsojm\u00eb ushqimet e sh\u00ebndetshme dhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e th\u00ebn\u00eb se k\u00ebshtu duhet t\u00eb heqim dor\u00eb nga gj\u00ebrat e shijshme…<\/p>\n
3. Faktori koh\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb thelb\u00ebsor
\nDuhet t\u00eb identifikojm\u00eb emocionet q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb keq dhe t\u2019i z\u00ebvend\u00ebsojm\u00eb me t\u00eb tjera, t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb arsyen e gabimeve tona t\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritura. Megjithat\u00eb, kjo nuk b\u00ebhet menj\u00ebher\u00eb. N\u00ebse je m\u00ebsuar me \u201cemocione t\u00eb forta\u201d, por n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb, shkat\u00ebrrimtare ose negative, nuk mund t\u00eb kalosh menj\u00ebher\u00eb tek emocione m\u00eb t\u00eb shtruara, por ajo q\u00eb ka r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb identifikohet mekanizmi dhe t\u00eb mundohesh ta thyesh at\u00eb.<\/p>\n
4. Analizo lidhjet e jet\u00ebs t\u00ebnde
\nDuhet t\u00eb analizojm\u00eb dashurit\u00eb tona, t\u2019i shohim me nj\u00eb sy sa m\u00eb \u201cobjektiv\u201d, sepse kjo na ndihmon t\u00eb dallojm\u00eb skem\u00ebn e sjelljes q\u00eb, duke u p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur, na shtyn t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat gabime. \u00cbsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb na t\u00ebrheq dhe pse, cilat nevoja duam t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqim dhe \u00e7far\u00eb k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb te t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. P\u00ebr shembull, jeni e ndrojtur dhe k\u00ebrkoni nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb shkath\u00ebt, t\u00eb \u201cprap\u00eb\u201d, q\u00eb t\u00eb plot\u00ebsoj\u00eb ato gj\u00ebra q\u00eb nuk i arrini dot vet\u00eb? E keni menduar se \u00e7far\u00eb pasojash mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb kjo? Apo ju p\u00eblqen t\u00eb urdh\u00ebroni dhe gjeni nj\u00eb partner t\u00eb shtruar e t\u00eb but\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin e humbisni pastaj shpejt interesin dhe d\u00ebshir\u00ebn?<\/p>\n
5. Lejoja vetes p\u00ebrjetimin e emocioneve
\nSi\u00e7 e tham\u00eb, zgjidhja e gabimeve k\u00ebrkon durim dhe nj\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb t\u00eb analizimit t\u00eb vetvetes. Lejoja vetes luksin e p\u00ebrjetimit t\u00eb emocioneve deri n\u00eb fund, duke mos patur frik\u00eb nga ajo q\u00eb ndjen. Vet\u00ebm k\u00ebshtu mund t\u00eb evidentojm\u00eb nevojat m\u00eb t\u00eb thella t\u00eb an\u00ebs son\u00eb emocionale dhe t\u00eb mund t\u2019i \u201ckorrigjojm\u00eb\u201d me ato q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb mir\u00eb.<\/p>\n
5. Kurseji pak energjit\u00eb e tua
\nPasioni q\u00eb t\u00eb konsumon gjith\u00eb energjit\u00eb, t\u00eb jep iden\u00eb se po jeton n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb intensive, por shpesh t\u00eb l\u00eb pa energji dhe t\u00eb hutuar. Edhe t\u2019i dedikohesh krejt\u00ebsisht nj\u00eb personi \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gabim q\u00eb e b\u00ebjm\u00eb shpesh dhe na b\u00ebn t\u00eb themi se kemi dh\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa kemi marr\u00eb. Nuk b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebsh n\u00eb prov\u00eb partnerin, por t\u00eb identifikosh se \u00e7far\u00eb d\u00ebshiron dhe ta k\u00ebrkosh at\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu, mund t\u00eb kuptosh sa i p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb tjetri n\u00eb lidhje. N\u00ebse p\u00ebrgjigjja \u00ebsht\u00eb negative edhe ndaj k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb vogla, duhet t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh n\u00eb sy realitetin dhe t\u00eb mos krijosh iluzione t\u00eb kota. Nga ky person nuk do t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh at\u00eb q\u00eb d\u00ebshiron nga nj\u00eb lidhje dashurie.<\/p>\n
6. Lejoji vetes thyerje t\u00eb vogla rregullash
\nNj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr gabim q\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb shpesh dhe q\u00eb q\u00ebndron n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb disa d\u00ebshtimeve dashurore, sidomos n\u00eb lidhjet afatgjata, \u00ebsht\u00eb tendenca p\u00ebr t\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb n\u00eb pah imazhin m\u00eb pak josh\u00ebs t\u00eb vetes. Ne kemi tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb shkarkojm\u00eb te tjetri gjith\u00eb problemet tona, duke harruar r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb ka vazhdimi i loj\u00ebs s\u00eb joshjes q\u00eb u p\u00eblqen t\u00eb dyve dhe si p\u00ebrfundim, rrim\u00eb vet\u00ebm duke u ankuar. Nj\u00eb shembull? Sa her\u00eb i je ankuar partnerit se ke shtuar n\u00eb pesh\u00eb, se t\u00eb jan\u00eb krijuar tulet aty dhe atje, duke krijuar nj\u00eb imazh jo josh\u00ebs n\u00eb syt\u00eb e tij? Kund\u00ebr k\u00ebtij gabimi, e vetmja zgjidhje \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u2019i kushtosh vetes momente t\u00eb shkurtra, thyerje t\u00eb vogla rregullash n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e shohim veten gjithmon\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrim. Sigurisht, nuk po t\u00eb themi t\u00eb tradhtosh, por t\u00eb thyesh zakonet e konsoliduara n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si e shohim veten dhe ia tregojm\u00eb at\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Nganj\u00ebher\u00eb, mjafton t\u00eb veshim nj\u00eb fustan, t\u00eb cilin nuk e kishim imagjinuar se do t\u00eb ishte i p\u00ebrshtatsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr ne…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pse m\u00eb ndodhin k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra mua? Gabimet e nj\u00ebpasnj\u00ebshme, sidomos n\u00eb dashuri, jan\u00eb ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht t\u00eb dhimbshme. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00eb shum\u00eb raste, ne b\u00ebjm\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar: Dashurohemi me nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb na b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuajm\u00eb, takojm\u00eb nj\u00eb tip egoist, q\u00eb mendon vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete, ose dik\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i lidhur dhe nuk ka nd\u00ebrmend […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[905],"class_list":["post-6683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-seks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6683\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}