E nderuar redaksi, lexoj vazhdimisht rubrikat e ndryshme n\u00eb faqet tuaja jo vet\u00ebm se m\u00eb p\u00eblqejn\u00eb, por edhe sepse p\u00ebrpiqem t\u00eb gjej prehje p\u00ebr shpirtin tim. Nuk jam shum\u00eb plak\u00eb sa p\u00ebr t\u00eb vdekur shpirt\u00ebrisht, por k\u00ebshtu ndihem. K\u00ebto koh\u00ebt e fundit, sidomos, nuk mund t\u00eb ve gjum\u00eb n\u00eb sy. M\u00eb ngjan sikur kam jetuar n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb kamp p\u00ebrqendrimi. Ndoshta e ekzagjeroj me k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj krahasimi, por n\u00ebse dikush do t\u00eb m\u00eb kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebra un\u00eb dhe ime mot\u00ebr, do ta kisha quajtur ve\u00e7se nj\u00eb ushtar nazist.
\nHistoria jon\u00eb familjare \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e trisht\u00eb qysh nga fillimet e saj, p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb bindjeve politike t\u00eb gjyshit e m\u00eb pas, kund\u00ebrshtimeve t\u00eb vazhdueshme t\u00eb tim eti, q\u00eb na \u00e7uan n\u00eb at\u00eb derexhe.
\nBabai im ka qen\u00eb njeri shum\u00eb i drejt\u00eb, i paqt\u00eb, por nuk duronte dot ta trajtonin si i biri i armiqve dhe kund\u00ebrshtonte vazhdimisht n\u00ebp\u00ebr mbledhjet e famshme q\u00eb b\u00ebheshin n\u00eb lagje, apo n\u00eb nd\u00ebrmarrje, n\u00eb pun\u00eb. Kjo na \u00e7oi edhe neve n\u00eb internim, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se gjyshi ishte n\u00eb burg.
\nVuajtjet e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi, fillimisht, qen\u00eb si t\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bashk\u00ebvuajt\u00ebsve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb. P\u00ebrbuzja, varf\u00ebria, l\u00ebnia n\u00eb harres\u00eb totale jo vet\u00ebm nga shteti, por edhe nga shoq\u00ebria, i shnd\u00ebrroi n\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb eg\u00ebr. T\u00eb kat\u00ebr ne f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, ata na kan\u00eb rritur n\u00eb kushte shum\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqija, pa ushqim mjaftuesh\u00ebm, pa rroba dhe n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb q\u00ebndronim n\u00eb banga t\u00eb ve\u00e7uara. Ishte shum\u00eb e dhimbshme, nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri shum\u00eb e trisht\u00eb. D\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb si t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, t\u00eb veshur, t\u00eb ushqyer dhe q\u00eb t\u00eb pranoheshim n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri, na detyroi mua dhe motr\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl q\u00eb t\u00eb tradhtonim \u00e7do virtyt q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit na kishin m\u00ebsuar. Ishim vajza t\u00eb vogla dhe jo t\u00eb gjitha gj\u00ebrat i kuptonim se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thoshin e \u00e7far\u00eb pasojash mund t\u00eb kishin. Mendoj se fatkeq\u00ebsia jon\u00eb k\u00ebtu filloi, te fakti q\u00eb shfryt\u00ebzuan dy vajza t\u00eb vogla q\u00eb nuk e kan\u00eb iden\u00eb se si funksionojn\u00eb gj\u00ebrat…
\nKur u rrit\u00ebm, rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb e b\u00ebnim t\u00eb kat\u00ebrt bashk\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm se v\u00ebllai ishte m\u00eb i madh dhe kujdesej p\u00ebr ne m\u00eb t\u00eb vegjlit, por edhe se asnj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb tjet\u00ebr nuk rrinte me ne.
\nV\u00ebllai i madh ishte n\u00eb vitin e kat\u00ebrt, un\u00eb isha n\u00eb vitin e tret\u00eb t\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme, nd\u00ebrsa motra ime ishte n\u00eb vitin e par\u00eb. V\u00ebllai i vog\u00ebl ishte n\u00eb klas\u00ebn e shtat\u00eb, por ai na priste gjithmon\u00eb neve p\u00ebr t\u2019u kthyer n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, edhe pse ne mbaronim m\u00eb von\u00eb. Zakonisht, rrug\u00ebs shihnim shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz, por ata nuk na flisnin. Vet\u00ebm dy gra n\u00eb mosh\u00eb filluan t\u00eb na buz\u00ebqeshnin her\u00eb pas here kur na shikonin. Na dukej si diell ajo buz\u00ebqeshje, meqen\u00ebse askush nuk na i hidhte syt\u00eb, ndaj filluam edhe ne t\u2019i p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndesnim, pa ua ditur emrat. U tham\u00eb prind\u00ebrve, por ata duke menduar se ato ishin gra e nuk kishte \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb na ndodhte prej tyre, nuk u zgjat\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb pyesnin kush ishin.
\nUn\u00eb dhe motra filluam ta b\u00ebnim rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebrkrah grave q\u00eb na p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndesnin e dy v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit ecnin pran\u00eb nesh, por meqen\u00ebse muhabeti yn\u00eb ishte si p\u00ebr vajza, fustane e flok\u00eb t\u00eb bukur, v\u00ebllai nuk na e vinte veshin se \u00e7far\u00eb flisnim. Vazhduam k\u00ebshtu p\u00ebr rreth dy muaj; her\u00eb i takonim t\u00eb dyja rrug\u00ebs e her\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebn, b\u00ebnin sikur kishin turne t\u00eb ndryshme apo ndonj\u00eb pushim. Na kishin th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb kishin nj\u00ebra dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb e tjera tre, por nuk guxonim t\u2019i pyesnim m\u00eb gjat\u00eb, duke ditur q\u00eb ne ishim \u201carmiq\u201d.
\nNj\u00eb dit\u00eb, nj\u00ebra na ftoi t\u00eb merrnim pjes\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb aktivitet q\u00eb zhvillonte Fronti. Ishte aktivitet kulturor p\u00ebr gra dhe nuk do t\u00eb kishte problem. Prind\u00ebrit ran\u00eb dakord kur ne u tham\u00eb, sepse menduam q\u00eb do ishim mes grave. Pastaj, edhe ne do t\u00eb ishim t\u00eb dyja bashk\u00eb dhe me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb q\u00eb kishim nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb na flisnin e t\u00eb na pranonin n\u00eb shoq\u00ebri. Aktiviteti na ishte nj\u00eb koncert i Sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb Kultur\u00ebs s\u00eb qytetit dhe m\u00eb von\u00eb, disa fjalime t\u00eb grave q\u00eb ishin p\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsuese t\u00eb Partis\u00eb. Deri n\u00eb at\u00eb moment, nuk kishte asgj\u00eb t\u00eb keqe n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mes. N\u00eb nj\u00eb moment, nj\u00ebra nga grat\u00eb q\u00eb na kishte ftuar, m\u00eb tha n\u00eb vesh:
\n– \u00c7\u2019po thot\u00eb kjo gruaja mbrapa? Si na qenka e pazonja shoqja Sekretare p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb pun\u00ebn q\u00eb i ka caktuar Partia? E d\u00ebgjove? \u2013 m\u00eb tha, por me nj\u00eb z\u00eb t\u00eb eg\u00ebr q\u00eb m\u00eb trembi.
\n– Nuk d\u00ebgjova gj\u00eb, – i thash\u00eb, – sepse e kam mendjen te shoqja q\u00eb po flet n\u00eb tribun\u00eb.
\n– E kujt ia thua ti k\u00ebto? Ti je m\u00eb e re se un\u00eb! Kur e d\u00ebgjova un\u00eb q\u00eb jam dyzet vje\u00e7e, ti shtat\u00ebmb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb, e ke d\u00ebgjuar se s\u2019b\u00ebn, por do t\u00eb flasim pasi t\u00eb mbaroj\u00eb ky fjalim.
\nNuk ia vura veshin k\u00ebsaj fjalis\u00eb s\u00eb dyt\u00eb, sepse isha e sigurt\u00eb q\u00eb nuk kisha d\u00ebgjuar gj\u00eb, pastaj mendova se do ta harronte pasi t\u00eb rifillonte koncerti, do t\u2019i p\u00eblqente ndonj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb apo valle dhe kaq.
\nN\u00eb fakt, k\u00ebtu ishte gabimi im… Them \u201cgabimi\u201d e jo \u201cfaji\u201d sepse isha shum\u00eb e re p\u00ebr t\u00eb ditur manipulimet q\u00eb nj\u00eb i rritur mund t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb nj\u00eb adoleshenteje. Sapo mbaroi koncerti, dy burra thirr\u00ebn gruan q\u00eb ishte pas nesh dhe mua e motr\u00ebn m\u00eb kapi \u201cshoqja\u201d jon\u00eb e rrug\u00ebs. N\u00eb zyr\u00ebn q\u00eb na fut\u00ebn, pash\u00eb p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb fytyr\u00ebn e gruas q\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb pas nesh. M\u2019u duk e trembur, por s\u2019po merrja vesh arsyen pse mund t\u00eb trembeshin njer\u00ebzit nga ne. M\u2019u kujtua pjesa jon\u00eb e biografis\u00eb dhe mendova q\u00eb ndoshta e kishte nga frika q\u00eb s\u2019duhej t\u00eb ishte ulur af\u00ebr nesh. Mendimet m\u2019i nd\u00ebrpreu z\u00ebri i \u00e7jerr\u00eb e plot urrejtje i gruas q\u00eb na kishte kapur p\u00ebr krahu:
\n– Gjat\u00eb koncertit, ti the me plot goj\u00ebn dhe plot urretje se shoqja Sekretare nuk mund ta b\u00ebj\u00eb pun\u00ebn e saj. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, the q\u00eb Partia nuk do q\u00eb ta nd\u00ebrtoj\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kanal uj\u00ebsjell\u00ebs, se Partia jon\u00eb nuk e do popullin e vet dhe t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto i d\u00ebgjuan t\u00eb dyja vajzat. Prandaj i mora, q\u00eb t\u00eb ta pohojn\u00eb tani, n\u00eb moment.
\nM\u2019u tha p\u00ebshtyma, nuk po nxirrja dot asnj\u00eb rrokje sa nga ajo q\u00eb kisha d\u00ebgjuar, sa nga shtr\u00ebngimi n\u00eb krah. Motra filloi t\u00eb qante, se ishte m\u00eb e vog\u00ebl.
\n– Me th\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, un\u00eb e kisha mendjen te fjalimi e m\u00eb pas t\u00eb koncerti dhe nuk d\u00ebgjova ask\u00ebnd t\u00eb fliste… – arrita t\u00eb artikuloja pas nj\u00eb shtr\u00ebngimi tjet\u00ebr.
\n– Kujt ia thua k\u00ebto ti, apo do t\u00eb thuash q\u00eb un\u00eb jam g\u00ebnjeshtare?! – m\u00eb tha gruaja dhe pikat e p\u00ebshtym\u00ebs s\u00eb saj q\u00eb m\u2019u p\u00ebrplas\u00ebn n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb, gati ma nxor\u00ebn stomakun n\u00eb shesh. Dy burrat u ngrit\u00ebn n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb dhe ajo ngritje e vrullshme do t\u00eb ishte \u201cvarrimi\u201d im, p\u00ebr s\u00eb gjalli. N\u00eb moment, fillova t\u00eb flisja s\u00ebrish e tmerruar, e trullosur; nuk di t\u2019i p\u00ebrshkruaj me fjal\u00eb ato ndjenja.
\n– Shoqja foli n\u00eb fillim kur sapo kishte filluar fjalimi, k\u00ebt\u00eb pjes\u00eb d\u00ebgjova, pastaj nuk kam d\u00ebgjuar asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr! – thash\u00eb.
\n– Epo, edhe un\u00eb p\u00ebr at\u00eb pjes\u00eb po them… – foli bashk\u00ebpun\u00ebtorja e sigurimit.
\n– N\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb popullit, je e arrestuar! – i than\u00eb gruas q\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb pas nesh gjat\u00eb koncertit dhe e mor\u00ebn p\u00ebr krahu t\u00eb dy burrat.
\n– Ejani, do t\u2019ju p\u00ebrcjell p\u00ebr n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. – tha gruaja q\u00eb na shoq\u00ebronte rrug\u00ebs s\u00eb kthimit nga shkolla dhe q\u00eb na kishte marr\u00eb n\u00eb koncert.
\nNuk e di se si kam ecur deri n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, nuk kam mundur as t\u00eb flas, as t\u00eb mendoj, nuk mbaj mend t\u00eb kem b\u00ebr\u00eb ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb deri dit\u00ebn q\u00eb na thirr\u00ebn n\u00eb gjyqin q\u00eb iu b\u00eb gruas q\u00eb arrestuan. Kur arrit\u00ebm n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, babait tim sa nuk i ra t\u00eb fik\u00ebt kur pa gruan q\u00eb na shoq\u00ebronte. Ai e kishte njohur m\u00eb par\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019monst\u00ebr ishte ajo, por fatkeq\u00ebsia e tij dhe e jona bashk\u00eb ishte q\u00eb nuk kishin pyetur p\u00ebr emrat e grave q\u00eb na flisnin.
\n– Vajzat tuaja b\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb pun\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb sot, i kan\u00eb sh\u00ebrbyer Partis\u00eb me devotshm\u00ebri dhe do t\u00eb shp\u00ebrblehen p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb. Shpresoj q\u00eb edhe ju t\u00eb vini mend nga kjo. Nat\u00ebn e mir\u00eb edhe ju vajza. Do t\u00eb takohemi s\u00eb shpejti.
\nDo t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb kishim vdekur t\u00eb dyja n\u00eb at\u00eb moment sesa t\u00eb detyroheshim t\u00eb b\u00ebnim at\u00eb \u00e7ka b\u00ebm\u00eb un\u00eb dhe ime mot\u00ebr, por barra m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00eb m\u00eb ra mua sepse ime mot\u00ebr ishte m\u00eb e vog\u00ebl dhe quhej d\u00ebshmitare minorene, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb q\u00eb isha m\u00eb e rritur, mund t\u00eb quhesha d\u00ebshmitare e besueshme. Prind\u00ebrit nuk dinin m\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb na thoshin, s\u2019dinim t\u00eb pranonim apo t\u00eb kund\u00ebrshtonim. Frika se mund t\u2019i burgosnin t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit na detyroi q\u00eb n\u00eb gjyq t\u00eb pranonim t\u00eb gjitha \u00e7far\u00eb u than\u00eb nga hetuesi apo gjykat\u00ebsi.
\nKjo nuk ndodhi vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb. Na th\u00ebrrisin n\u00eb gjykat\u00eb sa her\u00eb do t\u2019u duhej t\u00eb d\u00ebnonin apo internonin ndonj\u00eb person. Ky tmerr vazhdoi edhe p\u00ebr tre vjet, derisa m\u00eb n\u00eb fund, me mua u dashurua djali i nj\u00eb komunisti. Nga tmerri i asaj se \u00e7far\u00eb po b\u00ebja, nuk guxoja t\u2019i hidhja syt\u00eb n\u00eb pasqyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb veten derisa nj\u00eb djal\u00eb n\u00eb rrug\u00eb m\u00eb tha se isha shum\u00eb e bukur dhe se donte t\u00eb takonte prind\u00ebrit e mi. I thash\u00eb t\u00eb fliste me prind\u00ebrit e mi direkt, thjesht p\u00ebr ta larguar, por ndodhi mrekullia. N\u00eb dark\u00eb erdhi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb bashk\u00eb me babain e tij dhe u tha prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi q\u00eb kishte koh\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb ndiqte, q\u00eb i kisha p\u00eblqyer dhe q\u00eb ishte dashuruar me mua. Edhe babai i tij tha q\u00eb ishte dakord q\u00eb ne t\u00eb fejoheshim.
\nBabai im, qysh n\u00eb fillim, i tha se ne kishim probleme me biografin\u00eb, por ai i tha se e dinte dhe se do t\u00eb rregullonte gjith\u00e7ka. K\u00ebshtu, shum\u00eb shpejt, un\u00eb u fejova dhe u martova. Vjerri na ndihmoi jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb mos na th\u00ebrrisin mua dhe motr\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb dal\u00eb d\u00ebshmitare, por mua m\u00eb ndihmoi t\u00eb mbaroja shkoll\u00ebn e lart\u00eb me korrespondenc\u00eb. Fillova pun\u00eb zyre n\u00eb nj\u00eb ferm\u00eb, pun\u00eb q\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb komode p\u00ebr mua dhe me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb q\u00eb askush nuk u g\u00ebrric me mua. Ai me miqt\u00eb e tij arriti t\u00eb zhdukte apo nd\u00ebrronte emrat dhe firmat e mia e t\u00eb sime motre q\u00eb neve t\u00eb mos na ekzistonte m\u00eb emri n\u00eb ato zyra. Jeta ime dhe e familjes s\u00eb prind\u00ebrve m\u00eb pas rrodhi m\u00eb e qet\u00eb. Nuk mund t\u00eb them q\u00eb ishim t\u00eb barabart\u00eb me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, por ishte ndryshe. Vjerri im ishte jo vet\u00ebm komunist i zoti, por ishte edhe njeri i respektuar, shum\u00eb autoritar, por jo i lig. I kam sh\u00ebrbyer n\u00eb pleq\u00ebri me shum\u00eb dashamir\u00ebsi, sepse me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb b\u00ebri nj\u00eb mrekulli q\u00eb na nxori nga ajo rrug\u00eb.
\nEdhe pse sot i kam dokumentet e pastra ligj\u00ebrisht, me vjen turp nga vetja p\u00ebr \u00e7ka kam b\u00ebr\u00eb, nuk gjej m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u2019u k\u00ebrkoj falje kat\u00ebr personave q\u00eb jan\u00eb arrestuar me d\u00ebshmit\u00eb e rreme q\u00eb dhash\u00eb un\u00eb e ime mot\u00ebr, nuk gjej prehje p\u00ebr shpirtin tim, edhe pse e kam b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb re p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar. Shpresoj q\u00eb Zoti t\u00eb marr\u00eb hak mbi mua e jo mbi f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi, p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebqijat q\u00eb b\u00ebra n\u00eb rini.<\/p>\n
B<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
E nderuar redaksi, lexoj vazhdimisht rubrikat e ndryshme n\u00eb faqet tuaja jo vet\u00ebm se m\u00eb p\u00eblqejn\u00eb, por edhe sepse p\u00ebrpiqem t\u00eb gjej prehje p\u00ebr shpirtin tim. Nuk jam shum\u00eb plak\u00eb sa p\u00ebr t\u00eb vdekur shpirt\u00ebrisht, por k\u00ebshtu ndihem. K\u00ebto koh\u00ebt e fundit, sidomos, nuk mund t\u00eb ve gjum\u00eb n\u00eb sy. M\u00eb ngjan sikur kam jetuar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6265,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[254],"class_list":["post-6646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-personale"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}