Doni t\u00eb ndaheni nga partneri dhe nuk dini si t\u2019ia thoni? Ne po ju tregojm\u00eb 10 m\u00ebnyra p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb hap, sepse, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00e7do gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb e ka nj\u00eb fund…<\/p>\n
1. Arsyeja absurde
\n\u201cE kam t\u00eb pamundur t\u00eb jetoj me nj\u00eb person q\u00eb refuzon ta besoj\u00eb se Majk\u00ebll Xheksoni do t\u00eb rikthehet\u201d. Duket nj\u00eb arsye absurde, megjithat\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb paraqitur fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr fjal\u00eb k\u00ebshtu si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb, n\u00eb sitin francez VDM, ku tregohen anekdoda dhe probleme nga jeta e p\u00ebrditshme. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, nuk jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm politika, feja dhe edukimi subjekte t\u00eb ndjeshme; \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe kthimi i Majk\u00ebll Xheksonit. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb stad, ky subjekt do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb klasifikohej edhe n\u00ebn kapitullin \u201cfeja\u201d.
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Nj\u00eb arsye absurde b\u00ebn q\u00eb, pas ndarjes, tjetri t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb kok\u00eb nj\u00eb pik\u00ebpyetje: \u201cV\u00ebrtet p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00eb la?\u201d, e ndjekur nga nj\u00eb pik\u00eb\u00e7udit\u00ebse \u201cPo kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb absurde!\u201d. I shokuar nga kjo arsye, me gjith\u00eb indinjat\u00ebn e fillimit, burri do ta ket\u00eb si tem\u00eb diskutimi n\u00eb dy-tre muajt n\u00eb vazhdim. K\u00ebshtu, ai nuk do t\u00eb m\u00ebrzitet, por do t\u00eb shoh\u00eb an\u00ebn qesharake t\u00eb ndarjes, bile m\u00eb von\u00eb do t\u2019ju fal\u00ebnderoj\u00eb, kur t\u2019ia tregoj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur\u00ebs n\u00eb vazhdim: \u201cNj\u00eb her\u00eb, nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb m\u00eb la sepse refuzoja ta shoq\u00ebroja te psikologu p\u00ebr macen\u201d. Kjo do t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb vajzat t\u00eb qeshin dhe ta p\u00eblqejn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb… \u00c7do e keqe e ka nj\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb!<\/p>\n
2. Arsyeja e \u00e7mendur
\n\u201cPo t\u00eb l\u00eb sepse refuzon t\u00eb krijosh familje me mua\u201d. Ju t\u00eb dy keni vet\u00ebm tre jav\u00eb q\u00eb njiheni… nuk keni folur kurr\u00eb p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe ai nuk e njeh familjen tuaj? Jepini, luani rolin e vajz\u00ebs q\u00eb do t\u00eb lidhet seriozisht, k\u00ebshtu do ta hiqni qafe shpejt. Ai do t\u00eb trembet dhe do t\u00eb ik\u00eb me t\u00eb katra. Megjithat\u00eb, nj\u00eb arsye e till\u00eb ka edhe rrezikun e vet. N\u00ebse ai ju sheh me sy t\u00eb shqyer nga habia, ekzistojn\u00eb dy mund\u00ebsi: Ose \u00ebsht\u00eb normal dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb e kupton se ka fat q\u00eb ju po e lini (sepse ju t\u00eb fusni frik\u00ebn), ose, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb ju i flisni p\u00ebr familje dhe f\u00ebmij\u00eb, atij i kalon nj\u00eb si rrufe n\u00eb tru dhe ju sheh si n\u00ebn\u00ebn e ardhshme t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tij. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, i keni pisk pun\u00ebt…
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb cili \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb psikopat, ai apo ju? Kjo mund t\u2019ju afroj\u00eb dhe mbase, n\u00eb fund, vendosni t\u00eb krijoni nj\u00eb familje s\u00eb bashku… Kush e di? N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, dilni ju m\u00eb e \u00e7mendura!<\/p>\n
3. Arsyeja fizike
\nIdeja \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u2019i thoni t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn dhe vet\u00ebm t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn, at\u00eb q\u00eb, n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, nuk guxojm\u00eb ta themi kurr\u00eb, pra, at\u00eb q\u00eb ka lidhje me fizikun. \u201cD\u00ebgjo, nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen l\u00ebkura jote, nuk kam \u00e7\u2018b\u00ebj, \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb ka lidhje me er\u00ebn, nuk p\u00ebrshtatemi\u201d, ose \u201cN\u00eb fakt, nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen se si puth\u201d. K\u00ebto jan\u00eb dy shkaqe t\u00eb tmerrshme nd\u00ebrmjet atyre q\u00eb, n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, i ruajm\u00eb p\u00ebr vete, sepse rrezikojm\u00eb ta traumatizojm\u00eb thell\u00eb burrin e shkret\u00eb. N\u00ebse ai e merr keq dhe ngrihet e ik\u00ebn nga syt\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00ebt, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn ia ke arritur q\u00ebllimit. Edhe po reagoi dhe nd\u00ebrron xhelin e dushit, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb stad nuk ka shans q\u00eb ju ta vini re.
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: N\u00ebse e keni me nxitim dhe jeni pa skrupuj, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb e mir\u00eb ndarjeje, pasi ia thua tjetrit cop\u00eb dhe je duke u treguar e sinqert\u00eb. Kjo mund t\u00eb shkaktoj\u00eb te djali i shkret\u00eb nj\u00eb zem\u00ebrim t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm, ose t\u2019i b\u00ebj\u00eb vetes pyetje sipas marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnies q\u00eb ka me egon e tij. Sido q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb, ai do t\u00eb hutohet, pra, do t\u00eb mendohet, pra, do t\u00eb hesht\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrpar\u00ebsin\u00eb tuaj. Vet\u00ebm n\u00ebse vendos edhe ai t\u2019jua kthej\u00eb me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb dhe, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, do t\u00eb zhvishni shpatat t\u00eb dy!<\/p>\n
4. Arsyeja e zem\u00ebruar
\nJu ka ardhur n\u00eb maj\u00eb t\u00eb hund\u00ebs? At\u00ebhere mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorni k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj arsyeje: \u201cPo t\u00eb l\u00eb, sepse mendoj q\u00eb je nj\u00eb gomar\u201c. Nj\u00eb variant tjet\u00ebr \u201cNuk kam \u00e7\u2018b\u00ebj, me tekat e p\u00ebrs\u00ebritura ti m\u00eb lodh; je luftarak n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb jesh nj\u00eb burr\u00eb i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb\u201d. N\u00eb fakt, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb fsheh\u00ebsh at\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb pjekur tashm\u00eb te ju: P\u00ebrbuzjen dhe zhg\u00ebnjimin, nganj\u00ebher\u00eb edhe urrejtjen. \u00cbsht\u00eb e sh\u00ebmtuar, por e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Personaliteti i tij ju ka zhg\u00ebnjyer dhe ju ka shuar \u00e7do ndjenj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Pik\u00eb, mbaroi!
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Ndjehesh gjithmon\u00eb e leht\u00ebsuar kur i thua tjetrit at\u00eb q\u00eb mendon p\u00ebr t\u00eb, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, q\u00eb ju irriton p\u00ebr vdekje. I vetmi problem \u00ebsht\u00eb se, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se do ta l\u00ebndonim tjetrin, do t\u00eb vinim n\u00eb pik\u00ebpyetje edhe pozicionin ton\u00eb: Sinqerisht, si arrit\u00ebm deri k\u00ebtu?<\/p>\n
5. Arsye e keqe
\n\u201cKam d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb njoh djem t\u00eb tjer\u00eb; nuk jam b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn monogame\u201d. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb arsye e keqe dhe shum\u00eb, bile. Nga nj\u00ebra an\u00eb, sepse t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb moment apo nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ndjejn\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr njer\u00ebz t\u00eb tjer\u00eb (bile edhe mbr\u00ebmjen e takimit t\u00eb par\u00eb, ose edhe pasi je martuar (po, po, u ndodh edhe njer\u00ebzve serioz\u00eb) dhe nga ana tjet\u00ebr sepse mund t\u00eb bini dakord t\u00eb jeni nj\u00eb \u00e7ift i hapur. N\u00ebse juve nuk ju p\u00eblqen dashuria treshe, shk\u00ebmbimet e \u00e7iftet dhe tradhtit\u00eb e tjera, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja q\u00eb b\u00ebn p\u00ebr ju.
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: N\u00ebse doni t\u00eb b\u00ebni dashuri me gjith\u00eb rac\u00ebn e burrave, me siguri do ta dekurajoni partnerin. Nuk ka m\u00eb keq sesa t\u00eb jesh e lidhur pas nj\u00eb gruaje t\u00eb pabes\u00eb, gati p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar edhe me shokun t\u00ebnd m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb. I vetmi problem do t\u00eb jet\u00eb po t\u00eb marr\u00eb vesh se jeni fejuar me shokun e tij m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb, t\u00eb cilit ia kishit v\u00ebn\u00eb syrin q\u00eb prej koh\u00ebsh. K\u00ebshtu, do t\u00eb dilni ju si g\u00ebnjeshtare.<\/p>\n
6. Arsyeja e mir\u00eb
\n\u201cNuk t\u00eb dua m\u00eb\u201d. Arsye supreme, mbret\u00ebresh\u00eb, e past\u00ebr dhe e tmerrshme, s\u00eb cil\u00ebs nuk ke \u00e7\u2019i shton asgj\u00eb, sepse i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha. Nuk mbetet ve\u00e7se t\u00eb kapitulloj\u00eb, i trishtuar, i thyer. Pak a shum\u00eb, si ju vet\u00eb, n\u00eb momentin kur ia keni b\u00ebr\u00eb vetes k\u00ebt\u00eb konstatim t\u00eb \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm…
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Dashuria vdiq, rroft\u00eb dashuria! N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, do t\u00eb ndjeheni q\u00eb t\u00eb dy keq, por dit\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mira do t\u00eb vijn\u00eb. Ju nuk e doni m\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se konkretisht jeni e lir\u00eb, megjith\u00ebse p\u00ebr momentin, ju ka pushtuar ndjenja e fajit, q\u00eb ju mjegullon t\u00eb ardhmen.<\/p>\n
7. Arsyeja kot
\n\u201cNuk e ke fajin ti, po un\u00eb\u201d. Kujt doni t\u2019i hidhni hi syve me k\u00ebt\u00eb shprehje? Ja edhe disa t\u00eb tjera: \u201cNuk kam koh\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment\u201d dhe \u201c\u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr mua t\u00eb jetoj n\u00eb \u00e7ift, p\u00ebr momentin\u201d. Ekziston vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb arsye e thell\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos u ndjer\u00eb akoma gati: Fakti q\u00eb nuk je aq e dashuruar! Sepse, kur dashuron, si p\u00ebr \u00e7udi, e gjen koh\u00ebn, d\u00ebshir\u00ebn, mund\u00ebsin\u00eb, apo jo?
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja klasike kot. K\u00ebshtu, ai do ta kuptoj\u00eb pa shpjegime t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, duke zgjedhur m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e but\u00eb, se doni ta lini. K\u00ebmb\u00ebngul\u00ebs, ai do t\u00eb mundohet t\u2019ju nxjerr\u00eb nga goja arsyen e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, q\u00eb rrezikon t\u00eb jet\u00eb kritike, ose e sinqert\u00eb, por q\u00eb burri, si egocentrik q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb, do ta kuptoj\u00eb me mir\u00eb: Nuk e kam fajin un\u00eb, por ajo! Pasi ta keni th\u00ebn\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb do t\u00eb mbeten t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur.<\/p>\n
8. Arsyeja e abuzuar
\n\u00cbsht\u00eb momenti i s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs. K\u00ebshtu, do t\u00eb shprehni at\u00eb q\u00eb ju shtyn v\u00ebrtet ta lini, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 karakterit t\u00eb tij. E tipit \u201cT\u00eb adhuroj, v\u00ebrtet, por m\u00eb ka ardhur n\u00eb maj\u00eb t\u00eb hund\u00ebs varf\u00ebria jote. Ti nuk je as ambicioz! Nuk dua t\u00eb shkoj m\u00eb me pushime n\u00eb kamping\u201d. Ja, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb arsye e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e abuzuar, \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja juaj. Pik\u00ebv\u00ebshtrimi juaj kund\u00ebr gjith\u00eb bot\u00ebs. Nj\u00eb variant tjet\u00ebr i paaprovuar, por i kuptuesh\u00ebm: \u201cNuk kam m\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb kursej edhe \u00e7entezin e fundit p\u00ebr t\u00eb bler\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi n\u00eb bregdet, dua t\u00eb iki, t\u00eb shes gjith\u00e7ka dhe t\u00eb blej k\u00ebpuc\u00eb t\u00eb bukura\u201d. Ju kuptojm\u00eb…
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Ju ia keni b\u00ebr\u00eb kaq her\u00eb k\u00ebto shakara t\u00eb tipit \u201cje shum\u00eb i varf\u00ebr\u201d, apo \u201cmund t\u00eb jepja gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr nj\u00eb pal\u00eb sandale Louboutin\u201d, por k\u00ebsaj radhe e keni seriozisht dhe kjo mund ta b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ju doj\u00eb m\u00eb, n\u00eb momentin kur t\u2019ia thoni k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb. Sido q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb, ju e keni paralajm\u00ebruar…<\/p>\n
9. Arsyeja e m\u00eb t\u00eb fortit
\n\u201cPo t\u00eb l\u00eb, sepse meritoj nj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb se ty\u201d. Ju mund t\u2019i shpjegoni nj\u00eb nga tezat e librit \u201cBanketi\u201d t\u00eb Platonit, sipas t\u00eb cilit, jemi b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb dashuruar dik\u00eb q\u00eb e admirojm\u00eb e q\u00eb vendoset mbi ne dhe pjes\u00ebrisht, \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo arsyeja pse nuk ka dashuri t\u00eb lumtura, sepse t\u00eb gjith\u00eb duan dik\u00eb p\u00ebrmbi veten, q\u00eb do dik\u00eb p\u00ebrmbi dhe k\u00ebshtu me radh\u00eb. Duket nj\u00eb budallall\u00ebk, por nuk keni shpjegim tjet\u00ebr.
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: E th\u00ebn\u00eb k\u00ebshtu \u00ebsht\u00eb pak e besueshme, por mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Nganj\u00ebher\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se meritojm\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm kur e kupton, por edhe kur merr guximin ta b\u00ebsh k\u00ebt\u00eb hap. P\u00ebrg\u00ebzime!<\/p>\n
10. Pa arsye
\nSi nihiliste, pa shpjegim, nj\u00eb dit\u00eb shkon t\u00eb blesh buk\u00ebn dhe nuk kthehesh m\u00eb. U ka ndodhur shum\u00eb njer\u00ebzve. K\u00ebshill\u00eb: N\u00ebse doni q\u00eb kjo metod\u00eb t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb, fikni celularin, por paralajm\u00ebroni shoqen e ngusht\u00eb, n\u00eb rastin kur ai shqet\u00ebsohet v\u00ebrtet.
\nP\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia e k\u00ebsaj arsyeje: Fillojm\u00eb ta kuptojm\u00eb natyr\u00ebn thell\u00ebsisht irracionale t\u00eb qenies son\u00eb. Shokojm\u00eb veten, shohim halu\u00e7inacione p\u00ebr veprimin q\u00eb kemi b\u00ebr\u00eb, me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, zbulojm\u00eb natyr\u00ebn njer\u00ebzore si kurr\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb. P\u00ebrpar\u00ebsia m\u00eb e madhe \u00ebsht\u00eb se mund t\u00eb riktheheni, sepse n\u00eb fakt nuk keni th\u00ebn\u00eb asgj\u00eb l\u00ebnduese, thjesht, keni ikur. At\u00ebhere mund t\u00eb ktheheni ashtu si ik\u00ebt… Apo ndoshta jo?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Doni t\u00eb ndaheni nga partneri dhe nuk dini si t\u2019ia thoni? Ne po ju tregojm\u00eb 10 m\u00ebnyra p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb hap, sepse, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, \u00e7do gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb e ka nj\u00eb fund… 1. Arsyeja absurde \u201cE kam t\u00eb pamundur t\u00eb jetoj me nj\u00eb person q\u00eb refuzon ta besoj\u00eb se Majk\u00ebll Xheksoni do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6539,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[905,320],"class_list":["post-6538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-seks","tag-seksi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6538","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6538"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6538\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}