– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, nuk dua t\u00eb identifikohem si \u201ce s\u00ebmur\u00eb\u201d. Koh\u00ebt e fundit kam kuptuar se ne q\u00eb vuajm\u00eb nga ankthi, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cpresion\u201d t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm ta mbajm\u00eb p\u00ebr vete sepse njer\u00ebzit jan\u00eb paragjykues. I dashuri im, n\u00eb \u00e7do rast tashm\u00eb shikon \u201cfantazma\u201d aty ku nuk ka, me pak fjal\u00eb, m\u00eb trajton si fajtore. Besoj mund ta kuptoni \u00e7far\u00eb efekti ka kjo mbi nj\u00eb person ankthioz, i cili p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb dal\u00eb nga ky rreth vicioz dhe ti e fundos m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. Ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb karakterizon \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb munges\u00eb e theksuar vet\u00ebbesimi dhe vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi. Kam tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb faj\u00ebsoj veten p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ta gjykoj veten deri n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e fundit dhe ta nd\u00ebshkoj. Shpesh zihem me veten time p\u00ebr dilema t\u00eb kota, si p\u00ebr shembull, t\u00eb shkoj a t\u00eb mos shkoj n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe kam nj\u00eb inat t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm lidhur me faktin pse nuk marr dot vendime. Edhe pse e di pik\u00ebn e zgjidhjes, un\u00eb nuk shkoj drejt asaj, por zgjedh t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb vuaj shpirt\u00ebrisht, ta b\u00ebj veten t\u00eb ndihem edhe m\u00eb e paaft\u00eb, sepse vet\u00ebm n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb \u00e7lirohem. Ky q\u00eb ilustrova, \u00ebsht\u00eb nga t\u00eb pakt\u00ebt shembuj t\u00eb cil\u00ebve ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk u jap dot shpjegim. Ka raste kur \u201chutohem\u201d me kuptimin e plot\u00eb t\u00eb fjal\u00ebs, kaloj nj\u00eb moment kur shk\u00ebputem nga realiteti: Zhurmat i d\u00ebgjoj m\u00eb t\u00eb pak\u00ebta dhe ai q\u00eb m\u00eb fikson \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb send apo nj\u00eb objekt i cili n\u00eb ato pak sekonda m\u00eb duket tep\u00ebr i njohur dhe m\u00eb kthen di\u00e7ka mbrapsht nga f\u00ebmij\u00ebria. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqem t\u00eb kujtoj m\u00eb tep\u00ebr p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb send, m\u00eb ndodh nj\u00eb mpirje, bllokim frym\u00ebmarrje, nj\u00eb frik\u00eb e pashpjegueshme dhe pasi p\u00ebrmendem pas disa sekondash, q\u00eb mua m\u00eb dukej shekuj, nuk m\u00eb kujtohet asgj\u00eb. Kjo m\u00eb ndodh mesatarisht nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb muaj, por ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb p\u00ebrjetoj \u00e7do dit\u00eb, nj\u00eb ndrojtje nga njer\u00ebzit, nj\u00eb frik\u00eb se mos po m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb, madje kur dikush m\u00eb v\u00ebshtron p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, mendoj se di\u00e7ka nuk shkon me mua dhe m\u00eb kap paniku. Koh\u00ebt e fundit, kam r\u00ebnie p\u00ebrqendrimi, dob\u00ebsi muskulare, r\u00ebnie t\u00eb flok\u00ebve, qerpik\u00ebve, humbje t\u00eb kujtes\u00ebs dhe ndjenja t\u00eb trishta. Si e shihni ju k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje, doktor Demiri? \u00c7far\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloni? Me respekt, Anjeza, Tiran\u00eb.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E dashur Anjeza, t\u00eb fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde t\u00eb qart\u00eb e me mjaft detaje. E them k\u00ebt\u00eb sepse shum\u00eb let\u00ebrshkrues i bien letr\u00ebs shkurt dhe ne nuk kemi si t\u00eb japim nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb plot\u00eb, pa nj\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb plot\u00eb sqaruese. Tani, m\u00eb d\u00ebgjo me v\u00ebmendje: \u00cbsht\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb q\u00eb kjo gjendja jote nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb s\u00ebmundje, pra, nuk p\u00ebrb\u00ebn patologji dhe as nuk t\u00eb \u00e7on n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje. \u00cbsht\u00eb pra gjendje ankthi, kryesisht social e ankth performance, e shoq\u00ebruar me ca ide e mendime obsesive, pra, me mendime \u201cproblematike\u201d (negative) e q\u00eb quhen presione rreth problemit. Por, \u00ebsht\u00eb lajm jo i mir\u00eb fakti q\u00eb ti e ke lejuar k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb zhvillohet dhe je p\u00ebrpjekur e vetme vet\u00ebm me ca lexime apo teknika me (aq sa ke ditur) t\u00eb vet\u00ebndihm\u00ebs, t\u00eb cilat nuk mund t\u00eb mjaftojn\u00eb p\u00ebr ta kaluar plot\u00ebsisht ankthin. V\u00ebrtet gjuha e huaj m\u00ebsohet edhe pa m\u00ebsues, por me gabime t\u00eb shumta e me mundim t\u00eb madh. Si\u00e7 e thash\u00eb, ankthi nuk t\u00eb s\u00ebmur, pasi ankthioziteti nuk ka lidhje me s\u00ebmundjet, ama ta prish gjith\u00eb cil\u00ebsin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs ose m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, ta \u201cnxin\u201d jet\u00ebn. Sipas shkenc\u00ebs, ankthi social, ashtu si \u00e7do lloj ankthi, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb sjellje e \u201cm\u00ebsuar\u201d n\u00eb saje t\u00eb ngacmuesve specifik\u00eb, pra, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201crefleks i keq\u201d i kusht\u00ebzuar dhe ky \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet lajm shum\u00eb i mir\u00eb se, duke qen\u00eb i \u201cm\u00ebsuar\u201d, edhe \u00e7m\u00ebsohet, porse me dije, me psikoterapi, me pun\u00eb. Mir\u00ebpo, \u00e7far\u00eb ndodh?
\n– Shum\u00eb ankthioz\u00eb, duke mos patur njohurit\u00eb e sakta shkencore, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb tremben dhe e vuajn\u00eb ankthin n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb paarsyeshme, porse edhe krijojn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ne e quajm\u00eb keqp\u00ebrshtatje, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, sjellje shmang\u00ebse me plot \u201crituale\u201d apo kompulsione. Shkaku e pasoja jan\u00eb t\u00eb lidhura bashk\u00eb. Akoma m\u00eb keq, ata q\u00eb e k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb leht\u00ebsimin tek alkooli, droga, papun\u00ebsia, pra, nj\u00eb keqp\u00ebrshtatje edhe m\u00eb e keqe. P\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb turpit, 2\/3 e ankthioz\u00ebve social\u00eb nuk vijn\u00eb te psikologu, edhe pse ankthi social futet te gjendjet 100 % t\u00eb trajtueshme me 3 lloje psikoterapish, si: Konjitive strategjike, psikoterapi n\u00eb grup etj., si dhe me ila\u00e7e 100 % bimore. Mir\u00ebpo duke mos ardhur te psikologu, gjendja jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk kalon, por \u201csistematizohet\u201d, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se \u201ctrashen\u201d e nguliten keqp\u00ebrshtatjet, aq sa mendimet obsesive q\u00eb quhen ide t\u00eb \u201cngul\u00ebta\u201d katastrafizuese p\u00ebrs\u00ebriten si pa pushim, pra, b\u00ebhen si \u201cpjes\u00eb e jotja\u201d, si t\u00eb kesh lindur me to. Mir\u00ebpo nuk mbaron vet\u00ebm me kaq… Duke mos e trajtuar si\u00e7 duhet nj\u00eb fobi, ka rrezik q\u00eb juve t\u2019ju b\u00ebhet si zakon i keq zhvillimi i frik\u00ebrave t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb paarsyeshme, pra, nj\u00eb fobi ua hap rrug\u00ebn edhe fobive t\u00eb tjera. P\u00ebr shembull, fakti q\u00eb \u00e7do lloj ankthi t\u00eb krijon edhe ca ide \u201cderealizimi\u201d (dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, shk\u00ebputje nga realiteti duke zmadhuar e zvog\u00ebluar gj\u00ebrat n\u00ebn \u201clentet\u201d e obsesioneve), b\u00ebn q\u00eb kjo ide, duke mos e kuptuar e duke mos e trajtuar, t\u2019ju \u00e7oj\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb fobi tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb quhet olenofobi, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb frik\u00eb nga \u00e7mendja. Ose, l\u00ebvizja e ekuilibrave apo shtimi i rrahjeve t\u00eb zemr\u00ebs, gj\u00eb normale kjo p\u00ebr gjendjet tuaja t\u00eb ankthit, mund t\u2019ju \u00e7oj\u00eb n\u00eb tanotofobi (ankth, frik\u00eb nga vdekja ose pushimi i zemr\u00ebs). Pra, t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto frik\u00ebra, si edhe frika e humbjes s\u00eb kontrollit, frika se \u201cma dallojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt\u201d apo frik\u00eb nga t\u00eb fikt\u00ebt, t\u00eb cilat n\u00eb gjendjet e ankthit ndodhin p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb l\u00ebvizjeve t\u00eb ekuilibrave, reagimeve trupore, pra, jan\u00eb normale p\u00ebr kushtet tuaja, p\u00ebrkthehen nga ju keq, shum\u00eb keq, shihen si \u201crrezik\u201d, aq sa njer\u00ebzit mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundojn\u00eb deri edhe n\u00eb urgjenc\u00eb, pa patur asnj\u00eb lloj s\u00ebmundjeje, madje duke qen\u00eb \u201ctop\u201d nga sh\u00ebndeti. Q\u00eb t\u00eb mos zgjatemi, ti vajz\u00eb ke nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr trajtim profesional special psikoterapetik me disa seanca, ku shum\u00eb shpejt, nga \u201cviktim\u00eb\u201d, do t\u00eb kthehesh n\u00eb \u201cshkenc\u00ebtare\u201d menaxhuese t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj gjendjeje, madje do t\u00eb jesh n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb ndihmosh edhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Me praktikat e vazhdueshme dhe me njohurit\u00eb baz\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh, do t\u00eb ndjehesh \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb e leht\u00ebsuar, e \u00e7liruar e jo sikur t\u00eb ka \u201cn\u00ebmur\u201d njeri. E ke kuptuar shum\u00eb bukur k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt (jo profesionist\u00eb) jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk t\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb dot, por t\u00eb r\u00ebndojn\u00eb me k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb gabuara me pyetje e \u201cv\u00ebzhgime\u201d duke t\u00eb par\u00eb si t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, apo si t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Lexo te libri \u201cMjetet\u201d kapitullin \u201cAutoriteti i brendsh\u00ebm\u201d. Ky kapitull na m\u00ebson ashtu si\u00e7 thot\u00eb edhe feja, se mbi t\u00eb gjitha \u00ebsht\u00eb Zoti, pastaj vjen n\u00ebna, pastaj babai… T\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt do t\u2019i shoh\u00ebsh \u201cn\u00ebn\u201d vete, kushdoqofshin ata. Me kaq, besoj se minimalisht, u kuptuam…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, nuk dua t\u00eb identifikohem si \u201ce s\u00ebmur\u00eb\u201d. Koh\u00ebt e fundit kam kuptuar se ne q\u00eb vuajm\u00eb nga ankthi, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cpresion\u201d t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm ta mbajm\u00eb p\u00ebr vete sepse njer\u00ebzit jan\u00eb paragjykues. I dashuri im, n\u00eb \u00e7do rast tashm\u00eb shikon \u201cfantazma\u201d aty ku nuk ka, me pak fjal\u00eb, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}