{"id":6031,"date":"2014-11-12T22:00:17","date_gmt":"2014-11-12T21:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=6031"},"modified":"2014-11-12T12:00:13","modified_gmt":"2014-11-12T11:00:13","slug":"pse-tradhtojne-ciftet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/11\/pse-tradhtojne-ciftet\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse tradhtojn\u00eb \u00e7iftet?"},"content":{"rendered":"

C\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb tradhtia, apo m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, \u00e7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb quajm\u00eb tradhti? Sigurisht, secili i shikon gj\u00ebrat sipas k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimit t\u00eb tij, por specialist\u00ebt mund t\u00eb na orientojm\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb…<\/em><\/p>\n

Tradhtia, p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cfenomen jet\u00ebsor\u201d, \u00ebsht\u00eb, si t\u00eb thuash, ana tjet\u00ebr e medaljes s\u00eb fenomenit tjet\u00ebr shoq\u00ebror, q\u00eb ne e quajm\u00eb besnik\u00ebri\u2026 Asnj\u00eb prej nesh nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i garantuar se nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb bukur \u201cnjeriu m\u00eb i dashur\u201d, nuk mund ta tradhtoj\u00eb. Nj\u00eb grup shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebsh amerikan\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt kan\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb merren me studimin e k\u00ebtij problemi shoq\u00ebror, pohojn\u00eb se shpeshher\u00eb, njer\u00ebzit nuk e kuptojn\u00eb sa dhe si duhet, pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebt\u00eb natyr\u00eb t\u00eb tradhtis\u00eb, nuk kuptojn\u00eb ku i ka ajo rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt, nga mund ta pres\u00ebsh dhe si mund ta parandalosh at\u00eb\u2026 Psikologu amerikan Erik Anderson ka anketuar m\u00eb shum\u00eb se 3000 vet\u00eb, banor\u00eb t\u00eb SHBA-s\u00eb dhe Evrop\u00ebs, duke i pyetur se \u00e7far\u00eb quajn\u00eb ata tradhti, mbi \u00e7\u2019baza e veti e p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb at\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb anketim, mor\u00ebn pjes\u00eb njer\u00ebz me orientim seksual t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm, p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb edhe homoseksual\u00eb nga mosha 20-50 vje\u00e7. Ja, disa nga p\u00ebrgjigjet e t\u00eb anketuarve:<\/p>\n

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  1. \u201cKur njeriu e dashuron v\u00ebrtet t\u00eb dashurin\/\u00ebn i\/e vet, nuk mund ta tradhtoj\u00eb kurr\u00eb, pra, shkaku i tradhtis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb mungesa e dashuris\u00eb\u201d. <\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb, sipas psikologut amerikan, vler\u00ebsimi m\u00eb i gabuar q\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet\u2026 Mendohet se dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb garanci, mas\u00eb parandaluese kund\u00ebr tradhtis\u00eb, pra, kur dashuron, nuk mund t\u00eb tradhtosh dhe, kur tradhton, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se mungon ndjenja e dashuris\u00eb\u2026 Psikologu Anderson, duke u mb\u00ebshtetur n\u00eb studimet dhe p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn e tij, tregon se ka patur shum\u00eb raste, kur njer\u00ebzit e kan\u00eb tradhtuar nj\u00ebri-tjetrin jo sepse u \u00ebsht\u00eb shuar zjarri i ndjenjave t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb, por sepse n\u00eb rrethana t\u00eb posa\u00e7me kan\u00eb dashur t\u00eb provojn\u00eb emocione t\u00eb reja seksuale me partner\u00eb t\u00eb rinj, shpesh, t\u00eb shtyr\u00eb nga instiktet, ose rrethanat konkrete q\u00eb e favorizojn\u00eb tradhtin\u00eb. Si rregull, kjo lloj \u201ctradhtie\u201d ndeshet te t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 30 vje\u00e7are. Sipas Andersonit, rreth 78% e meshkujve t\u00eb anketuar prej tij, i kan\u00eb tradhtuar t\u00eb dashurat e tyre p\u00ebr arsyet e lartp\u00ebrmendura dhe vet\u00ebm pjesa tjet\u00ebr kan\u00eb pohuar se \u201cu ishin shuar ndjenjat e dashuris\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n

    Pastaj, sipas psikolog\u00ebve amerikan\u00eb, edhe fjala tradhti nuk ka patur dhe nuk ka gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin kuptim. K\u00ebshtu, bie fjala, n\u00eb vitet \u201850 t\u00eb shekullit t\u00eb kaluar, tradhti quhej akti intim i nj\u00ebrit prej partner\u00ebve t\u00eb \u00e7iftit, me nj\u00eb t\u00eb tret\u00eb. Sigurisht, ky p\u00ebrcaktim e ruan aktualitetin edhe sot, por jeta moderne, sidomos shpikja dhe p\u00ebrhapja e internetit, i ka \u201czgjeruar kufijt\u00eb e tij konceptual\u00eb\u201d. E kush mund t\u00eb quaj\u00eb sot tradhti rastin kur nj\u00eb i ri b\u00ebn p\u00ebr or\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebra seks virtual n\u00eb \u00e7atin erotik t\u00eb internetit, apo shikon video porno fshehurazi partnerit? Ajo q\u00eb ndodhi me politikanin amerikan Enton Vejner, i cili u akuzua se flirtonte n\u00eb Tvviterin e tij me nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb panjohur, t\u00eb detyron t\u00eb mendosh se edhe natyra e \u201ctradhtis\u00eb\u201d ka ndryshuar disi n\u00eb koh\u00ebn ton\u00eb (Nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e mir\u00eb e amerikan\u00ebve e d\u00ebnuan k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cakt tradhtie\u201d ndaj partneres s\u00eb tij legjitime)\u2026<\/p>\n

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    1. \u201cSa m\u00eb i ngopur seksualisht t\u00eb jesh me partnerin t\u00ebnd, aq m\u00eb pak mund\u00ebsi ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn e tradhtis\u00eb\u201d\u2026 <\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Sikurse tregojn\u00eb k\u00ebrkimet shkencore te Erik Andersonit, edhe ky koncept nuk i p\u00ebrgjigjet plot\u00ebsisht s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs. Shumica e t\u00eb anketuarve prej tij kan\u00eb pranuar se i kan\u00eb tradhtuar partner\u00ebt edhe pas disa vitesh jete seksuale normale, jo sepse u ka munguar jeta seksuale, por sepse kan\u00eb dashur t\u00eb provojn\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie intime edhe me partner\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, pra, di\u00e7ka m\u00eb tep\u00ebr. Sipas tyre, k\u00ebto marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie nuk kan\u00eb qen\u00eb tradhti, por disa \u201clojna\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb kaluar koh\u00ebn n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb sa m\u00eb interesante, pra, p\u00ebr variacion\u2026 Megjithat\u00eb, thekson psikologu amerikan, shum\u00eb nga k\u00ebto \u201clojna\u201d, kur jan\u00eb marr\u00eb vesh nga partneri tjet\u00ebr, kan\u00eb sjell\u00eb si pasoj\u00eb ndarjen p\u00ebr tradhti\u2026<\/p>\n

      Mbetet, pra, ende e pashpjegueshme deri n\u00eb fund pse ka tradhti n\u00eb marr\u00ebdheniet midis dy partner\u00ebve t\u00eb martuar. Seksologu Sher Hajt n\u00eb nj\u00eb anket\u00eb q\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb fund t\u00eb shekullit t\u00eb kaluar ka v\u00ebn\u00eb re se 70 % e grave t\u00eb martuara amerikane dhe evropiane i kishin tradhtuar bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebt e tyre, nd\u00ebrsa numri i \u201ctradhtar\u00ebve\u201d meshkuj ishte 2% m\u00eb i lart\u00eb. Sipas t\u00eb dh\u00ebnave t\u00eb Universitetit t\u00eb \u00c7ikagos, n\u00eb vitin 2004, afro 25 % e meshkujve t\u00eb martuar, i kan\u00eb tradhtuar bashk\u00ebshortet e tyre. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se \u201ckurora\u201d dhe unaza e martes\u00ebs nuk i mbrojn\u00eb 75 % t\u00eb tyre nga tradhtia, pohon psikologu amerikan Erik Anderson. Megjith\u00ebse edhe tani n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb moderne marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet monogame mendohen si forma m\u00eb e mir\u00eb e marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve intime seksuale, jan\u00eb t\u00eb shumt\u00eb njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb nuk mjaftohen vet\u00ebm me nj\u00eb partner. Psikologu amerikan propozon se do t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb secili t\u2019i pohonte partnerit t\u00eb vet hapur se nuk i p\u00eblqen m\u00eb standardi \u201cvet\u00ebm me nj\u00eb\u201d dhe pastaj t\u00eb vendosnin bashkarisht n\u00ebse do ta ruajn\u00eb martes\u00ebn, apo do t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb secili n\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb vet. K\u00ebsisoj, ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb martesa dhe harmonia familjare (sidomos kur ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb) t\u00eb ruhet edhe kur nj\u00ebri, apo tjetra, shkon majtas e djathtas dhe \u201ctradhtia\u201d nuk do t\u00eb jet\u00eb d\u00ebnim me vdekje i familjes s\u00eb krijuar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      C\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb tradhtia, apo m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, \u00e7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb quajm\u00eb tradhti? Sigurisht, secili i shikon gj\u00ebrat sipas k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimit t\u00eb tij, por specialist\u00ebt mund t\u00eb na orientojm\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb… Tradhtia, p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cfenomen jet\u00ebsor\u201d, \u00ebsht\u00eb, si t\u00eb thuash, ana tjet\u00ebr e medaljes s\u00eb fenomenit tjet\u00ebr shoq\u00ebror, q\u00eb ne e quajm\u00eb besnik\u00ebri\u2026 Asnj\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[905],"class_list":["post-6031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-seks"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6031"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6031\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}