– Kam nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e motr\u00ebs sime. Motra ka lindur nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb tani dhe djali \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb xheloz p\u00ebr t\u00eb. A \u00ebsht\u00eb normale kjo lloj xhelozie te f\u00ebmij\u00eb kaq t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl, sepse kam d\u00ebgjuar shpesh p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb tilla?
\nSelami Deraj, psikopediat\u00ebr: – Me k\u00ebt\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim ndeshen \u00e7iftet e reja dhe familja dramatizohet e t\u00ebra. Kur vjen n\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i dyt\u00eb, n\u00eb familje ndryshon ambienti familjar, ekuilibri i saj. Reagimi i f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb mbas lindjes s\u00eb motr\u00ebs ose v\u00ebllait t\u00eb dyt\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb i \u00e7uditsh\u00ebm. N\u00eb psikik\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, mendimi se \u201cmami \u00ebsht\u00eb e imja\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb absolut. Ai nuk mendon se duhet ta ndaj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebn e vet me ndonj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Ai ose ajo nuk do q\u00eb e \u00ebma t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie analoge me at\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn ose tjetrin e porsalindur. Vet\u00eb xhelozia e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb sapolindurin e ardhur n\u00eb ambientet familjare, lidhet me frik\u00ebn se mos humbet p\u00ebrkujdesjen e n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndaj tij, v\u00ebmendjen e dashurin\u00eb e saj. Ideja se n\u00ebna mund t\u00eb preferoj\u00eb vet\u00ebm t\u00eb voglin, e mundon. Ideja e humbjes s\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesjes s\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs ndaj tij, sjell d\u00ebm emotiv q\u00eb mund t\u00eb shkaktoj\u00eb munges\u00eb kujdesi n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb e hershme. F\u00ebmija m\u00eb i madh reagon keq ndaj t\u00eb voglit. Ai mund t\u00eb reagoj\u00eb n\u00eb dy m\u00ebnyra:
\n– E para, b\u00ebhet sed\u00ebrmadh e i paduruesh\u00ebm ose shmanget n\u00eb nivel verbal ose fizik. M\u00eb i madhi ka tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb ngacmoj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb voglin, ta rrah\u00eb at\u00eb duke menduar s\u00eb pari se \u201cun\u00eb kam m\u00eb shum\u00eb forc\u00eb fizike\u201d. Ai gjithmon\u00eb mendon e thot\u00eb se \u201cun\u00eb jam triumfuesi\u201d.
\n– M\u00ebnyra e dyt\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo e shmangies, q\u00eb mund t\u00eb shprehet n\u00eb dy m\u00ebnyra:
\na. I madhi n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me t\u00eb voglin mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet shum\u00eb i mir\u00eb (i n\u00ebnshtruar, duke harruar zem\u00ebrimin e agresivitetin)
\nb. B\u00ebhet i regresuar, i vog\u00ebl sa motra e vet dhe k\u00ebrkon trajtim si i porsalindur, ose i vog\u00ebl. Rol n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje luan ambienti edukativ. N\u00ebna \u00ebsht\u00eb burimi i shp\u00ebrblimeve dhe ndrydhjeve p\u00ebr t\u00eb dy f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. N\u00ebna duhet t\u2019u kushtoj\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn v\u00ebmendje, dashuri e p\u00ebrkujdesje t\u00eb dy f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. I madhi nuk duhet t\u00eb mendoj\u00eb se n\u00ebna e ka l\u00ebn\u00eb pas dore. Shenjat xhelozuese shfaqen midis vitit t\u00eb par\u00eb e t\u00eb dyt\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrkudesjes ndaj t\u00eb voglit. Xhelozia shfaqet n\u00eb m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb ndryshme, n\u00eb var\u00ebsi t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb. F\u00ebmija i par\u00eb p\u00ebrdor shikimet dhe fjal\u00ebt, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i madh, n\u00eb raport me t\u00eb voglin e lindur. Ai i shpreh ndjenjat e tij n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet fjal\u00ebve e gjesteve, p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar v\u00ebmendje nga e \u00ebma. Thuhet se xhelozia midis f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb s\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebs gjini \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e fort\u00eb, por pavar\u00ebsisht v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsive n\u00eb raportet midis v\u00ebllez\u00ebrve, k\u00ebto tregojn\u00eb se k\u00ebto raporte kan\u00eb vler\u00eb p\u00ebr trajtimet e duhura. Edhe xhelozia mot\u00ebr-v\u00eblla \u00ebsht\u00eb e fort\u00eb si rezultat i ndryshueshm\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb sjelljes s\u00eb tyre me prind\u00ebrit dhe e sjelljes s\u00eb prind\u00ebrve ndaj t\u00eb dyve. Sepse prind\u00ebrit nuk sillen nj\u00ebsoj si me vajzat, ashtu edhe me djemt\u00eb. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Kam nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e motr\u00ebs sime. Motra ka lindur nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb tani dhe djali \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb xheloz p\u00ebr t\u00eb. A \u00ebsht\u00eb normale kjo lloj xhelozie te f\u00ebmij\u00eb kaq t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl, sepse kam d\u00ebgjuar shpesh p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb tilla? Selami Deraj, psikopediat\u00ebr: – Me k\u00ebt\u00eb shqet\u00ebsim ndeshen \u00e7iftet e reja dhe familja […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5616,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[518],"class_list":["post-6021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mjeku","tag-xhelozia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6021","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6021"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6021\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5616"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6021"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6021"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6021"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}