{"id":5950,"date":"2014-11-11T21:00:36","date_gmt":"2014-11-11T20:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=5950"},"modified":"2014-11-11T18:05:47","modified_gmt":"2014-11-11T17:05:47","slug":"eshte-me-e-veshtire-te-rrisesh-djem-apo-vajza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/11\/eshte-me-e-veshtire-te-rrisesh-djem-apo-vajza\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00cbsht\u00eb m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb rris\u00ebsh djem apo vajza?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shpesh, n\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb djem, ankohen se \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb rrit\u00ebsh djem sesa vajza, se ata duan t\u00eb vrapojn\u00eb, t\u00eb ndeshen dhe t\u00eb luajn\u00eb me video-loj\u00ebra. Por… hidhen n\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb vajza dhe thon\u00eb se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb pak e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb edhe me vajzat, sepse ato tani fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndjekin mod\u00ebn q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, duan t\u00eb ken\u00eb trupin e nj\u00eb modeleje, kan\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie delikate me vajzat e tjera dhe jan\u00eb m\u00eb sed\u00ebrm\u00ebdha se djemt\u00eb. Sigurisht, \u00e7do f\u00ebmij\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i ve\u00e7ant\u00eb dhe personaliteti i tij e ndihmon t\u00eb perceptoj\u00eb jet\u00ebn. Mjedisi dhe sigurisht, familja, luajn\u00eb rolin e tyre n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb. M\u00ebnyra se si i trajtojm\u00eb djemt\u00eb dhe vajzat, q\u00eb nga lindja, \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e ndryshme. \u201cNe kemi tendenc\u00eb t’u flasim me z\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl vajzave, nd\u00ebrsa djemt\u00eb, kur i ledhatojm\u00eb, i hedhim n\u00eb aj\u00ebr\u201d, thot\u00eb nj\u00eb specialist. Por \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithashtu e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se truri i secilit seks ndryshon dhe, me kalimin e koh\u00ebs, ky ndryshim shtohet, duke ndikuar n\u00eb sjellje. Pra, \u00e7far\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjeje mund t’u japim prind\u00ebrve q\u00eb prej koh\u00ebsh debatojn\u00eb se cili nga t\u00eb dy sekset \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i v\u00ebshtir\u00eb p\u00ebr t’u rritur? P\u00ebrgjigjen e k\u00ebsaj pyetjeje do t\u00eb mundohemi ta japim m\u00eb posht\u00eb…<\/strong>
\nDisiplina
\nKush jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb? Djemt\u00eb
\nPse djemt\u00eb duken jo shum\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm? Del se, q\u00eb n\u00eb lindje, shqisa e tyre e d\u00ebgjimit nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e mir\u00eb sa ajo e vajzave dhe diferenca thellohet kur ata rriten. D\u00ebgjimi i vajzave \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i ndjesh\u00ebm dhe qendrat e tyre t\u00eb t\u00eb folurit n\u00eb tru zhvillohen m\u00eb shpejt. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb u p\u00ebrgjigjet m\u00eb mir\u00eb strategjive t\u00eb disiplin\u00ebs, si lavd\u00ebrimeve ose paralajm\u00ebrimeve t\u00eb tipit \u201cMos e b\u00ebj k\u00ebt\u00eb\u201d ose \u201cM’u p\u00ebrgjigj me fjal\u00eb\u201d. Djemt\u00eb kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb ndjesh\u00ebm ndaj prekjeve dhe d\u00ebnimi i duhur p\u00ebr ta mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb ulja p\u00ebr disa minuta n\u00eb nj\u00eb karrige. Ata, gjithashtu, shprehen m\u00eb pak e jan\u00eb m\u00eb impulsiv\u00eb dhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e dukshme sidomos n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e \u00e7erdhes dhe n\u00eb at\u00eb parashkollore.
\nK\u00ebto ndryshime zhvillimi kontribuojn\u00eb q\u00eb shpesh, nj\u00eb sjellje normale t\u00eb etiketohet si problematike, ashtu si\u00e7 pohojn\u00eb shum\u00eb specialist\u00eb. Raporti i f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb diagnostikuar me “\u00e7rregullime” (ku p\u00ebrfshihen: \u00e7rregullimet n\u00eb sjellje, s\u00ebmundjet maniako-depresive, hiperaktiviteti, mungesa e v\u00ebmendjes etj.) \u00ebsht\u00eb 5 me 1 n\u00eb favor t\u00eb djemve. Disa f\u00ebmij\u00eb, thon\u00eb specialist\u00ebt, n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve djem, thjesht kan\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb energji dhe kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00eb shum\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb shpenzuar k\u00ebto energji dhe agresivitetin e tyre, si edhe p\u00ebr kufij m\u00eb t\u00eb rrept\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Siguria fizike
\nKush jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb? Djemt\u00eb
\n\u201c\u00c7do dark\u00eb ne kemi ndeshje\u201d, thot\u00eb n\u00ebna e 4 djemve t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs 5-12 vje\u00e7 \u201cdhe un\u00eb rri gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebn duke u munduar ta mbaj sht\u00ebpin\u00eb-sht\u00ebpi dhe jo qend\u00ebr sportive. Kafsh\u00ebt prej pellushi, si edhe jast\u00ebk\u00ebt, p\u00ebrdoren p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00eblluar nj\u00ebri-tjetrin”.
\nSipas ekspert\u00ebve, n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, djemt\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb ngat\u00ebrrestar\u00eb dhe agresiv\u00eb. Atyre u p\u00eblqen t\u00eb rrezikojn\u00eb dhe, me sa duket, kjo ndez qendrat e k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb n\u00eb trurin e tyre. Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr ankohen se duhet t’i survejojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt nga af\u00ebr dhe t\u00eb mbajn\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi fasho e ankerplast\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, duhet ta lini f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj t\u00eb eksploroj\u00eb bot\u00ebn, pavar\u00ebsisht disa g\u00ebrvishtjeve dhe prerjeve, pasi kjo forcon karakterin e tyre, vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimin dhe elasticitetin. Djemt\u00eb, meq\u00eb nga natyra rrezikojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb, kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb kufizohen pak, kurse vajzat kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb inkurajohen. Propozoji vajz\u00ebs t\u00eb rr\u00ebshqas\u00eb nga nj\u00eb rr\u00ebshqit\u00ebse m\u00eb e lart\u00eb ose t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb pak m\u00eb larg me not.<\/p>\n

Komunikimi
\nKush jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb? N\u00eb fillim djemt\u00eb, pastaj vajzat
\nN\u00eb fillim, nj\u00eb bebe-vajz\u00eb duket m\u00eb e interesuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb ngjyrat dhe tekstur\u00ebn, p\u00ebr shembull fytyrat e njer\u00ebzve, nd\u00ebrsa nj\u00eb bebe-djal\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i t\u00ebrhequr ndaj l\u00ebvizjeve, si p\u00ebr shembull, t\u00eb nj\u00eb makine q\u00eb l\u00ebviz. K\u00ebto ndryshime luajn\u00eb rol edhe n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn si vizatojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt: Vajzat kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorin gjith\u00eb ngjyrat e ylberit, nd\u00ebrsa djemt\u00eb, p\u00ebr makinat e tyre, p\u00ebrdorin ngjyr\u00ebn blu, t\u00eb zez\u00eb dhe argjendi. Me pak fjal\u00eb, vajzat jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb prirura ndaj njer\u00ebzve, nd\u00ebrsa djemt\u00eb, ndaj veprimeve. Meq\u00eb vajzat i studiojn\u00eb fytyrat e njer\u00ebzve me shum\u00eb v\u00ebmendje, ato din\u00eb t\u2019i lexojn\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb sinjalet e tyre joverbale, si p\u00ebr shembull, shprehjen dhe tonin e z\u00ebrit. Djemt\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb m\u00ebsojn\u00eb t\u00eb flasin m\u00eb von\u00eb se vajzat dhe p\u00ebrdorin fjalor m\u00eb t\u00eb kufizuar, por e kan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019i lidhin ndjenjat me fjal\u00ebt. “Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb vajzat i tregojn\u00eb me detaje ngjarjet dhe ndjesit\u00eb e tyre, tre djemt\u00eb e mi nuk e kuptojn\u00eb fare pse i pyes: “\u00c7far\u00eb ndodhi aty?” apo: “\u00c7far\u00eb tha ai pasi ti the k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb?”, thot\u00eb nj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb.
\nSh\u00ebnim i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm: Meq\u00eb djemt\u00eb e mbajn\u00eb kontaktin me syt\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr sesa vajzat, prind\u00ebrit mund t\u00eb shqet\u00ebsohen p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjen e autizmit, meq\u00eb kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nga shenjat e saj, por n\u00ebnat duhet t\u00eb qet\u00ebsohen, sepse kjo gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb normale dhe rrjedh nga m\u00ebnyra si \u00ebsht\u00eb nd\u00ebrtuar truri i tyre. Kur vajzat b\u00ebhen 8 vje\u00e7e ose m\u00eb von\u00eb, gj\u00ebrat mund t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsohen. Fakti q\u00eb ato i kushtojn\u00eb shum\u00eb v\u00ebmendje komunikimit, mund t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb ato t\u00eb harxhojn\u00eb shum\u00eb energji p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb. Mund t\u00eb lindin drama se kush nxehet dhe me k\u00eb, kush e tha dhe \u00e7far\u00eb u tha, pse, etj. Mundohu t\u00eb krijosh marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie t\u00eb af\u00ebrta me vajz\u00ebn t\u00ebnde q\u00ebkur \u00ebsht\u00eb e vog\u00ebl, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb t\u00eb vij\u00eb te ti p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi
\nKush jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb? Vajzat
\nZhvillimi i nj\u00eb vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka kritike p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Megjithat\u00eb, studimet kan\u00eb treguar se vajzat kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb rriten me m\u00eb pak vler\u00ebsim n\u00eb vetvete dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb pasigurta se djemt\u00eb. Nj\u00eb studiues e quan k\u00ebt\u00eb “fatkeq\u00ebsia e t\u00eb qenit e mir\u00eb dhe e \u00ebmb\u00ebl”, pra, q\u00eb vajzat rriten duke synuar q\u00eb t\u2019u b\u00ebjn\u00eb qejfin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. “Ky presion kultural p\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb vend t\u00eb par\u00eb nevojat e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, duke injoruar nevojat e tyre dhe duke evituar k\u00ebrkimin e gj\u00ebrave q\u00eb kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb, i ka d\u00ebmtuar tradicionalisht vajzat\u201d, thot\u00eb nj\u00eb psikolog e autor i librit “Si t\u00eb rrit\u00ebsh f\u00ebmij\u00eb me vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsim, nga A n\u00eb Z”. “P\u00ebrve\u00e7 faktit se nj\u00eb vajze i p\u00eblqen reagimi i t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve q\u00eb ajo k\u00ebnaq, sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb i fsheh nevojat dhe d\u00ebshirat e saj p\u00ebr t’ua b\u00ebr\u00eb qejfin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb vuan vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi i saj”. P\u00ebrkujdesja dhe ndihma ndaj t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve jan\u00eb virtyte p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit, por te vajzat, ky tipar \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i theksuar, duke i ndihmuar vajzat t\u00eb ekspolorojn\u00eb veten dhe duke e inkurajuar t\u00eb provoj\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb reja.
\nImazhi p\u00ebr trupin p\u00ebrb\u00ebn nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimit dhe, megjith\u00ebse ka burra me k\u00ebt\u00eb problem, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb kryesisht nj\u00eb problem grash. Sot shihen gjithandej (revista, sfilata mode, filma, etj.) vajza shum\u00eb t\u00eb holla, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb panatyrshme. Ki kujdes se \u00e7far\u00eb imazhi p\u00ebrcjell ti si n\u00ebn\u00eb me trupin t\u00ebnd, me dietat dhe fizkultur\u00ebn. \u00cbsht\u00eb e qart\u00eb se imazhi negativ i nj\u00eb vajze p\u00ebr trupin mund t\u00eb vij\u00eb drejtp\u00ebrdrejt nga fakti q\u00eb sheh n\u00ebn\u00ebn e saj duke e kritikuar veten n\u00eb pasqyr\u00eb dhe duke u ankuar. M\u00ebsoje vajz\u00ebn t\u00ebnde t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb sinjalet e trupit t\u00eb saj p\u00ebr urin\u00eb dhe ngopjen. Vajzat q\u00eb d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb trupin e tyre, kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb instiktin e tyre edhe n\u00eb fusha t\u00eb tjera. Sportet jan\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb e mir\u00eb q\u00eb vajzat t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtojn\u00eb vet\u00ebbesimin dhe nj\u00eb vler\u00ebsim t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr trupat e tyre.<\/p>\n

Shkolla
\nKush jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb? Djemt\u00eb, n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve
\nDjemt\u00eb dhe metodat moderne t\u00eb shkollimit nuk shkojn\u00eb shum\u00eb bashk\u00eb. N\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb hershme, shumica e djemve q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb prapa vajzave n\u00eb zhvillimin e v\u00ebmendjes, vet\u00ebkontrollit dhe disa aft\u00ebsive t\u00eb tjera. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, n\u00ebp\u00ebr kopshte tani i kushtohet m\u00eb shum\u00eb v\u00ebmendje studimit t\u00eb librave, sesa muzik\u00ebs, pun\u00ebs me plastelin\u00eb, vizatimit me gishta apo ushtrimeve fizike q\u00eb dikur i ndihmonin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e l\u00ebvizsh\u00ebm t\u00eb integroheshin m\u00eb mir\u00eb me shkoll\u00ebn. Nj\u00eb fush\u00eb ku djemt\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb se vajzat \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebsimi i orientimit n\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb, pra, n\u00eb l\u00ebnd\u00eb t\u00eb tilla si gjeometria. Vajzat mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrdorin pjes\u00eb t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb trurit t\u00eb tyre p\u00ebr t\u00eb perceptuar hap\u00ebsir\u00ebn. Prind\u00ebrit duhet t’u paraqesin edhe djemve, edhe vajzave, mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb ndryshme (pa presion) p\u00ebr t\u00eb provuar fusha t\u00eb tjera sfiduese.<\/p>\n

Si p\u00ebrfundim, me konsensusin e p\u00ebrgjithsh\u00ebm, duket se djemt\u00eb t\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb kok\u00eb\u00e7arje n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb njom\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa vajzat jan\u00eb m\u00eb sfiduese n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn e paraadoleshenc\u00ebs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shpesh, n\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb djem, ankohen se \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb rrit\u00ebsh djem sesa vajza, se ata duan t\u00eb vrapojn\u00eb, t\u00eb ndeshen dhe t\u00eb luajn\u00eb me video-loj\u00ebra. Por… hidhen n\u00ebnat q\u00eb kan\u00eb vajza dhe thon\u00eb se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb pak e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb edhe me vajzat, sepse ato tani fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndjekin mod\u00ebn q\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5953,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[515],"class_list":["post-5950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-psikolog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5950"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5950\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}