K\u00ebto muaj ndodhem n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri dhe nj\u00eb mikja ime, m\u00eb tha: \u201cPse nuk e shkruan historin\u00eb t\u00ebnde? Do t\u00eb t\u00eb ndihmoj un\u00eb p\u00ebr ta botuar\u201d. Dhe, k\u00ebshtu po b\u00ebj… Duke jua treguar edhe juve gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb histori m\u00eb duket sikur m\u00eb leht\u00ebsoni dhimbjen, sikur po bisedoj me nj\u00eb shoqe q\u00eb m\u00eb kupton, edhe pse nuk njihemi.
\nJam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb q\u00eb kam lindur n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Prind\u00ebrit e mi, n\u00eb vitet \u201997, emigruan n\u00eb Angli si kosovar\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7 b\u00ebnin edhe shum\u00eb shqiptar\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb. Un\u00eb at\u00ebhere isha vet\u00ebm pes\u00eb vje\u00e7e dhe u rrita e u edukova n\u00eb nj\u00eb mentalitet tjet\u00ebr, ndryshe nga k\u00ebtu. Shoqet e mia kishin liri t\u00eb plot\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb jetuar jet\u00ebn, nd\u00ebrsa prind\u00ebrit e mi m\u00eb mbanin t\u00eb mbyllur vet\u00ebm shkoll\u00eb dhe sht\u00ebpi. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, kisha edhe nj\u00eb v\u00eblla pes\u00eb vjet m\u00eb t\u00eb madh se veten, i cili m\u00eb pengonte ta b\u00ebja jet\u00ebn ashtu si doja. P\u00ebr v\u00ebllan\u00eb tim, prind\u00ebrit nuk kishin pretendime, thjesht i bindte fakti se ai ishte djal\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa vajza duhet t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb e q\u00ebndrueshme. V\u00ebllai, q\u00ebkur ishte 15 vje\u00e7, gjeti t\u00eb dashur dhe e sillte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por prind\u00ebrit, edhe pse nuk ua kishte qejfi, mendonin \u201cm\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb, sesa t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb lule m\u00eb lule\u201d. N\u00eb fakt, k\u00ebshtu ishte, v\u00ebllai \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe sot me at\u00eb vajz\u00eb, edhe pse kan\u00eb kaluar shum\u00eb vite q\u00eb jan\u00eb njohur, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb isha vajza e bindur e familjes q\u00eb t\u00eb ruaja nderin dhe lezetin, si\u00e7 i takon nj\u00eb vajze nga Shqip\u00ebria. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto k\u00ebshilla q\u00eb m\u2019i p\u00ebrs\u00ebriste mamaja ime, m\u00eb b\u00ebnin t\u00eb mendoja se po rritesha n\u00eb fshatrat e mal\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe jo n\u00eb Angli. E gjith\u00eb shoq\u00ebria ime habitej me mua q\u00eb isha aq e m\u00ebnjanuar; vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb djal\u00eb arrinte t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptonte dhe m\u00eb rrinte gjithmon\u00eb pran\u00eb. Ai quhej Henri. Me shum\u00eb mir\u00ebsjellje, ai m\u00eb fliste dhe m\u00eb k\u00ebshillonte q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebja durim derisa t\u00eb mbushja 18 vje\u00e7e dhe m\u00eb pas nuk do t\u2019ia kisha m\u00eb nevoj\u00ebn askujt sepse t\u00eb drejtat e mia n\u00eb at\u00eb vend mbroheshin me ligj. Fjal\u00ebt e tij sikur m\u00eb leht\u00ebsonin dhe m\u00eb b\u00ebnin t\u00eb fort\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb duroja derisa t\u00eb arrija mosh\u00ebn madhore. Me Henrin fillova t\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb komunikim t\u00eb rregullt thjesht si shok, bisedonim n\u00eb telefon, n\u00eb Facebook, n\u00eb e-mail, ku t\u00eb na jepej mund\u00ebsia. Dit\u00eb pas dite, ne kishim filluar t\u00eb ndjenim p\u00ebr nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, por k\u00ebt\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb nuk guxonte asnj\u00eb ta shprehte. Henri ishte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb me ngjyr\u00eb dhe ky fakt ishte nj\u00eb lloj pengese. N\u00eb Angli, k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra nuk viheshin re dhe shum\u00eb shoqe t\u00eb miat ishin lidhur me djem me ngjyr\u00eb, por ngaq\u00eb i kisha folur p\u00ebr zakonet dhe mentalitetin e familjes sime, ai ngurronte t\u00eb m\u2019i shprehte ndjenjat e tij. Edhe pse e doja Henrin, nuk guxoja t\u2019ia thoja, pasi familja ime ishte e prer\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyre kategorike q\u00eb nuk do ta lidhja jet\u00ebn time me nj\u00eb t\u00eb huaj e jo m\u00eb me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb me ngjyr\u00eb. K\u00ebshtu, i kisha l\u00ebn\u00eb gj\u00ebrat t\u00eb rridhnin vet\u00eb. N\u00eb mbarim t\u00eb shkoll\u00ebs, ne duhet t\u00eb zgjidhnim deg\u00ebn p\u00ebr n\u00eb fakultet dhe un\u00eb fitova p\u00ebr Psikologji, nd\u00ebrsa Henri fitoi p\u00ebr Informatik\u00eb. T\u00eb dy do t\u00eb ishim n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin qytet, dy or\u00eb jasht\u00eb Londr\u00ebs. Un\u00eb ndjehesha tejet e g\u00ebzuar sepse m\u00eb n\u00eb fund do t\u00eb kisha lirin\u00eb q\u00eb aq shum\u00eb e kisha \u00ebnd\u00ebrruar. Jetoja n\u00eb nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi me disa shoqe, por kishim secila dhom\u00ebn m\u00eb vete dhe k\u00ebshtu, filloi jeta ime atje. Duke qen\u00eb se nuk njihja njeri tjet\u00ebr, fillova t\u00eb dilja m\u00eb shpesh me Henrin. Miq\u00ebsia jon\u00eb ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb aq e ngusht\u00eb sa un\u00eb nuk e vija re faktin q\u00eb ai ishte me ngjyr\u00eb. Ai, nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, m\u00eb ftoi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e tij p\u00ebr kafe. N\u00eb fillim ngurrova, por d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebndruar vet\u00ebm me t\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb m\u00eb e fort\u00eb nga k\u00ebshillat q\u00eb m\u00eb kishin dh\u00ebn\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e mi.
\nTeksa ishim n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e tij, ai m\u2019u ul shum\u00eb af\u00ebr dhe m\u00eb pyeti: \u201cT\u00eb bezdis ngjyra ime?\u201d. Ai ishte momenti m\u00eb i keq i jet\u00ebs sime; nuk dija \u00e7\u2019p\u00ebrgjigje t\u2019i ktheja dhe m\u00eb mir\u00eb preferova ta puthja… E kisha \u00ebnd\u00ebrruar shum\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment dhe ajo puthje ishte, si t\u00eb thuash, p\u00ebrgjigjja e pyetjes s\u00eb tij. At\u00eb dit\u00eb nuk m\u00eb binin fare nd\u00ebrmend as prind\u00ebrit, as v\u00ebllai dhe as mentaliteti i tyre. Henrin e doja shum\u00eb. Me t\u00eb m\u00eb dukej sikur p\u00ebrjetoja nj\u00eb histori dashurie si n\u00ebp\u00ebr filma, ku dashuria ishte primare dhe nuk pyeste as p\u00ebr mosh\u00eb, as p\u00ebr ngjyr\u00eb, as p\u00ebr ndonj\u00eb sakatll\u00ebk. K\u00ebshtu ishte edhe dashuria jon\u00eb. Henri asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk kishte hequr dor\u00eb prej meje, edhe pse un\u00eb nuk i isha p\u00ebrgjigjur atij. Edhe pse shok\u00ebt i thoshin: \u201cDeri kur do ta pres\u00ebsh at\u00eb fem\u00ebr?!\u201d, edhe pse i thoshin \u201cKa femra plot\u201d, ai prap\u00eb nuk ishte dor\u00ebzuar. At\u00ebher\u00eb s\u2019m\u00eb ngelej gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se q\u00eb edhe un\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha e tija n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha m\u00ebnyrat. Mendoja se nj\u00eb dit\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e mi do ta kuptonin situat\u00ebn time. Pastaj, ata u b\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb vite n\u00eb Angli dhe normale q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ecnin me koh\u00ebn.
\nAjo mbr\u00ebmje ishte e bukur… P\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, kuptova se \u00e7far\u00eb ishte dashuria e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb u b\u00ebra grua me njeriun q\u00eb doja m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb. Kishin kaluar dy vjet dhe prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi nuk u kisha th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb dilja me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb dhe as q\u00eb e merrja guximin t\u2019ua thoja nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb derisa nj\u00eb dit\u00eb mora vesh se prisja nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb nga Henri. P\u00ebr t\u00eb dy, kjo ishte nj\u00eb surpriz\u00eb e bukur dhe e dhimbshme nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht. I vetmi fakt q\u00eb m\u00eb trembte ishte se si do t\u2019ua thoja prind\u00ebrve te mi. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, Henri m\u00eb ftoi p\u00ebr dark\u00eb dhe aty m\u00eb propozoi p\u00ebr martes\u00eb, duke m\u00eb dhuruar unaz\u00ebn q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte bler\u00eb. Un\u00eb fillova t\u00eb qaja, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht, iu betova atij se ajo unaz\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb hiqej kurr\u00eb nga gishti im. N\u00eb fundjav\u00eb shkova n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe normalisht, prind\u00ebrit m\u00eb pan\u00eb me unaz\u00ebn n\u00eb gisht e filluan t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonin llogari. U tregova se kisha dy vjet q\u00eb isha lidhur me nj\u00eb shokun tim q\u00eb e kisha patur edhe n\u00eb shkoll\u00ebn n\u00eb Lond\u00ebr dhe filluan t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebnin llafe, e para, mami. Ajo, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kategorike, nuk pranonte q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb lidhesha me nj\u00eb t\u00eb huaj dhe m\u00eb e madhja u b\u00eb kur e mor\u00ebn vesh q\u00eb Henri ishte me ngjyr\u00eb. N\u00ebna b\u00ebrtiste e ul\u00ebrinte: \u201cKu i kishe syt\u00eb q\u00eb u lidhe me nj\u00eb majmun?\u201d. Fjal\u00ebt e tyre m\u00eb vrisnin shpirt\u00ebrisht. Un\u00eb e doja Henrin dhe nuk doja q\u00eb askush ta shante at\u00eb. Nuk mund t\u2019i d\u00ebgjoja m\u00eb teksa b\u00ebrtisnin e ul\u00ebrinin me sa fuqi q\u00eb kishin duke na shar\u00eb ne t\u00eb dyve, ndaj mblodha forcat dhe u thash\u00eb: \u201cPo t\u00eb doni na pranoni dhe, n\u00ebse jo, ne kemi vendosur t\u00eb martohemi, pasi presim nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb\u201d.
\nMami filloi t\u00eb qante me t\u00eb madhe duke m\u00eb akuzuar se isha nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr e ul\u00ebt q\u00eb ua kisha punuar mbrapa krah\u00ebve, por tashm\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ata thoshin ishte e kot\u00eb; ne e kishim vendosur. Mami m\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnoi duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cN\u00ebse nuk e heq f\u00ebmij\u00ebn, ne do t\u00eb kthehemi n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri dhe ti nuk ke p\u00ebr t\u00eb na par\u00eb kurr\u00eb me sy\u201d. Nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e till\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb ndodhte sepse Henri nuk do t\u00eb m\u00eb lejonte. Ai dhe familja e tij ishin shum\u00eb besimtar\u00eb e t\u00eb tilla gj\u00ebra ata nuk i toleronin, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb un\u00eb u detyrova dhe zgjodha f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e Henrin. Fjal\u00ebt e prind\u00ebrve nuk ishin vet\u00ebm fjal\u00eb; ata e zbatuan ata q\u00eb than\u00eb: U kthyen n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri dhe ky fakt m\u00eb dhembi m\u00eb shum\u00eb nga \u00e7\u2019e kisha menduar. Ata nuk ishin t\u00eb pranish\u00ebm n\u00eb dasm\u00ebn time, madje as n\u00eb lindjen e nipit t\u00eb tyre dhe nuk komunikonin fare me mua. Dija vet\u00ebm se ata jetonin n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e re q\u00eb kishim bler\u00eb n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb.
\nDjali kishte filluar t\u00eb rritej, ai ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb vje\u00e7 dhe kishte marr\u00eb shum\u00eb nga tiparet e Henrit. Bashk\u00ebshorti im e kuptonte se un\u00eb po e vuaja shum\u00eb indiferenc\u00ebn e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi dhe kjo nuk na lejonte q\u00eb ne t\u00eb dy t\u00eb b\u00ebnim nj\u00eb jet\u00eb normale, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb ai m\u00eb urdh\u00ebroi q\u00eb bashk\u00eb me djalin t\u00eb kthehesha n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri e t\u00eb bisedoja me prind\u00ebrit, q\u00eb ata t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptonin. Dhe, k\u00ebshtu b\u00ebra; kam gati dy muaj q\u00eb po jetoj n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, por asgj\u00eb konkrete nuk kam arritur. Shkova i takova prind\u00ebrit e mi, me shpres\u00ebn se kur t\u00eb shikonin nipin e tyre do t\u00eb ndryshonin mendje, por asgj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto nuk ndodhi, madje kur e pan\u00eb djalin me ngjyr\u00eb, ma than\u00eb tro\u00e7 q\u00eb nuk do ta pranonin asnj\u00ebher\u00eb. Ata kan\u00eb frik\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb mendojn\u00eb njer\u00ebzit se e kishin martuar vajz\u00ebn e tyre me nj\u00eb zezak. Ata, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, m\u00eb vun\u00eb kusht: \u201c\u00c7oje djalin ta rris\u00eb i ati dhe ti at\u00ebhere do t\u00eb jesh vajza jon\u00eb\u201d, por k\u00ebt\u00eb nuk mund ta b\u00ebj kurrsesi.
\nKam dy muaj q\u00eb mundohem t\u2019ua mbush mendjen, por ata i q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb besnik mendimit t\u00eb tyre pa m\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb asnj\u00eb lloj tolerimi. Prind\u00ebrit i dua shum\u00eb, por n\u00ebse ata do t\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, do t\u00eb m\u00eb vij\u00eb keq p\u00ebr ta. Un\u00eb, Henrin dhe djalin i dua shum\u00eb e asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk kam p\u00ebr t\u2019i braktisur, thjesht p\u00ebr opinionin e njer\u00ebzve dhe mentalitetin e tyre…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
K\u00ebto muaj ndodhem n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri dhe nj\u00eb mikja ime, m\u00eb tha: \u201cPse nuk e shkruan historin\u00eb t\u00ebnde? Do t\u00eb t\u00eb ndihmoj un\u00eb p\u00ebr ta botuar\u201d. Dhe, k\u00ebshtu po b\u00ebj… Duke jua treguar edhe juve gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb histori m\u00eb duket sikur m\u00eb leht\u00ebsoni dhimbjen, sikur po bisedoj me nj\u00eb shoqe q\u00eb m\u00eb kupton, edhe pse nuk […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5788,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[282],"class_list":["post-5787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-nga-jeta-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5787"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5787\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5788"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}