– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! Kam nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr psikologun tuaj. Dikur n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri njer\u00ebzit kan\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb padjall\u00ebzuar. Kam d\u00ebgjuar q\u00eb dikush mund t\u00eb b\u00ebnte mot\u00ebr ose v\u00eblla dik\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019e kishte gj\u00eb me gjak dhe kjo at\u00ebhere quhej \u201cv\u00eblla ose mot\u00ebr me hajmali\u201d, nd\u00ebrsa meshkujt sot i shikojn\u00eb femrat vet\u00ebm si subjekt seksual. A \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur q\u00eb nj\u00eb mashkull ta doj\u00eb nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr si mot\u00ebr pa patur t\u00ebrheqje p\u00ebr t\u00eb? Si ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb sot \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa dikur, jo? Me respekt, Toni.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – \u00cbsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, i nderuar lexues, se dikur v\u00ebrtet ca norma e tradita jan\u00eb ruajtur m\u00eb mir\u00eb, nd\u00ebr to edhe b\u00ebrja mot\u00ebr apo v\u00eblla me dik\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019ishte gjaku yt dhe kjo respektohej ashtu si\u00e7 mund t\u00eb ndodhte e ndodh edhe sot jo rrall\u00eb q\u00eb dy vet\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019jan\u00eb v\u00ebllez\u00ebr, ndihen si v\u00ebllez\u00ebr, si un\u00eb me Islam Lauken ose e kund\u00ebrta, q\u00eb v\u00ebllai me v\u00ebllan\u00eb b\u00ebhet \u201chas\u00ebm\u201d(!) e ndoshta vriten p\u00ebr nj\u00eb cop\u00eb tok\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se meshkujt sot i shohin femrat m\u00eb shum\u00eb si objekt seksual dhe k\u00ebtu ka ndikuar m\u00eb shum\u00eb mungesa e turpit, e ndjenj\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsis\u00eb, emisionet e shumta erotike apo kasetat, diskot, alkooli, dorg\u00ebrat, si dhe \u201cpjekja\u201d seksuale e parakohshme etj. Sot, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe rinia futen shum\u00eb para kohe n\u00eb \u201cbot\u00ebn\u201d e seksit dhe opinioni apo \u201cnormat\u201d jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb tolerante n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb drejtim, duke e quajtur k\u00ebt\u00eb si \u201cliria\u201d e personit p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb forma zgjedhjeje, q\u00eb nga aventurat e fshehta e deri tek ato t\u00eb hapurat, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr shembull, bashk\u00ebjetesa. Nuk dua t\u2019i paragjykoj disa forma q\u00eb ia kemi \u201ckopjuar\u201d Per\u00ebndimit, por e keqja \u00ebsht\u00eb, se ne, p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht, b\u00ebjm\u00eb ca \u201ckopjime\u201d t\u00eb \u201ccunguara\u201d, pasi edhe bashk\u00ebjetesa duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb ca rregulla t\u00eb qarta dhe t\u00eb shkruara si nj\u00eb tip akt-marr\u00ebveshjeje, si nj\u00eb martes\u00eb joligjore, por q\u00eb duhet t\u2019u p\u00ebrmbahet rregullave e normave shoq\u00ebrore, si edhe ligjeve. Aq sa e \u201chapur\u201d duket nj\u00eb bashk\u00ebjetes\u00eb, aq edhe e mbyllur \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo, pasi askush, ca m\u00eb pak vet\u00eb prind\u00ebrit, nuk e din\u00eb se ku po i \u00e7on kjo gj\u00eb e se \u00e7\u2019po ndodh me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e tyre, si jan\u00eb \u201crregulluar\u201d kushtet, t\u00eb drejtat, detyrimet, shpenzimet, \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb ardhmeje apo rreziqesh ka bashk\u00ebjetesa?! Si\u00e7 m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb ime shoqe, e cila prej vitesh ka punuar n\u00eb sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsi, numri i vajzave q\u00eb vijn\u00eb p\u00ebr abort n\u00eb maternitet, sa vjen e po shtohet, si pasoj\u00eb e bashk\u00ebjetes\u00ebs \u201cme dik\u00eb\u201d. Un\u00eb n\u00eb librat e mi kam shkruar p\u00ebr rreziqet e abortit n\u00eb shtatzanin\u00eb e par\u00eb. N\u00eb ca raste q\u00eb njoh un\u00eb, nuk kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb pas abortit t\u00eb par\u00eb… M\u00eb vjen keq ta them, por duke i studiuar k\u00ebto forma, nuk shoh ndonj\u00eb perspektiv\u00eb te bashk\u00ebjetesa e disave ve\u00e7se si bashk\u00ebjetes\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb seks… Nuk ka asgj\u00eb t\u00eb keqe k\u00ebtu, se edhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb ku e ku m\u00eb e mir\u00eb sesa prostitucioni apo \u201cdashuria\u201d ferrave, \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit edhe nj\u00eb alternativ\u00eb n\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb mund\u00ebsive p\u00ebr martes\u00eb, m\u00eb sakt\u00eb, p\u00ebr dashuri e seks, pasi doktori i mir\u00ebnjohur Arqile Boti, ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb, n\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00ebs \u201cb\u00ebni seks\u201d, u jepte vajzave e djemve me ankth e depresion, k\u00ebshill\u00ebn \u201cMartohu!\u201d. E kush nuk do q\u00eb t\u00eb martohet, por ec e martohu, kur nuk ke as kushte pune e banimi e as kandidatin e duhur… Ndaj njer\u00ebzit sot, i b\u00ebjn\u00eb si me \u201cfrik\u00eb\u201d jo vet\u00ebm martesat, por edhe fejesat, t\u00eb cilat n\u00eb fakt do t\u2019i quaja si paramartesa, ose si nj\u00eb \u201cprov\u00eb\u201d q\u00eb mund t\u00eb \u00e7oj\u00eb ose jo n\u00eb martes\u00eb.
\nGjithsesi, njer\u00ebzimi i diktuar nga nevojat nga normat e transp\u00ebrcjellura brez pas brezi, por edhe nga feja, b\u00ebn \u201cgjetje\u201d, disa nga t\u00eb cilat k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri rezultojn\u00eb edhe mjaft interesante, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb pak n\u00eb Veri fenomeni i \u201cburrnimit\u201d, pra, q\u00eb p\u00ebr arsye t\u00eb ndryshme, nj\u00eb grua \u201cvet\u00ebshpallet\u201d \u201cburr\u00eb\u201d, vishet e sillet si burr\u00eb dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt e pranojn\u00eb zgjedhjen e saj, pra, respektohet si burr\u00eb kudo, edhe pse \u00e7do burri t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb i \u201cvete\u201d mendja se asaj i mungon organi m\u00eb kryesor q\u00eb e b\u00ebn mashkullin mashkull dhe dihet se ka nj\u00eb organ q\u00eb i \u201cduhet\u201d e i p\u00eblqen aq shum\u00eb \u00e7do mashkulli. Mir\u00ebpo k\u00ebta lloj \u201cburrash\u201d, p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, plaken shpejt e vdesin para kohe, se, si\u00e7 ka shkruar Doktor Adem Harxhi, \u201cmos dilni kund\u00ebr natyr\u00ebs se ajo do t\u2019ju nd\u00ebshkoj\u00eb\u201d. K\u00ebtu q\u00ebndron edhe arsyeja pse \u00e7uditen t\u00eb huajt, se k\u00ebtu ka nj\u00eb psikologji kolektive, t\u00eb transmetuar ndoshta gjenetikisht brez pas brezi, q\u00eb me k\u00ebt\u00eb grua t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb \u201cburr\u00eb\u201d, t\u00eb zbatohet ai lloj \u201ckodi\u201d q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb mos ndjehesh me t\u00eb si me nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr, pra, b\u00ebn at\u00eb q\u00eb ndoshta nuk e b\u00ebjn\u00eb dot as psikolog\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb e q\u00eb mund t\u2019ju duket shum\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme po t\u00eb themi q\u00eb e b\u00ebn komponentin seksual t\u00eb \u00e7do mashkulli \u201cnul\u201d para k\u00ebsaj burrneshe, edhe pse fjala \u201cburrnesh\u00eb\u201d p\u00ebrs\u00ebri i p\u00ebrket gjinis\u00eb fem\u00ebrore.
\n– K\u00ebtu, studiuesit e huaj kan\u00eb gjetur \u00e7udit\u00eb e tjetra t\u00eb bukura t\u00eb vet\u00ebp\u00ebrmbajtjes e t\u00eb respektimit t\u00eb normave t\u00eb transmetuara e t\u00eb ngulitura, edhe me kanune, por edhe gati si gjenetikisht. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja pse n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri fjala \u201cmot\u00ebr\u201d apo \u201cv\u00eblla\u201d, p\u00ebrjashton \u00e7do lloj subjekti ose objekti seksual, edhe pse dy vet\u00eb mund t\u00eb mos jen\u00eb v\u00eblla e mot\u00ebr t\u00eb nj\u00eb gjaku. \u00cbsht\u00eb gati nj\u00eblloj sikur vjehrri e sheh nusen e djalit si vajz\u00ebn e vet, edhe pse nuk e ka gjakun e vet. Besoj se t\u00eb bindi e t\u00eb p\u00eblqeu shpjegimi im, i nderuar lexues, q\u00eb ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me sedr\u00ebn, dinjitetin e normat e \u00e7do njeriu, pasi ka edhe raste in\u00e7esti, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, mosrespektim t\u00eb gjakut e jo m\u00eb, t\u00eb \u201cem\u00ebrimit\u201d. \u00cbsht\u00eb e qart\u00eb se frika nga Zoti ka patur aq shum\u00eb rolin e vet frenues e rregullues, pasi n\u00ebse i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb dikujt \u201cmot\u00ebr apo v\u00eblla\u201d me hajmali, ishte nj\u00eblloj sikur t\u2019i thoje mot\u00ebr apo v\u00eblla p\u00ebrpara Zotit. Edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb, gjith\u00e7ka k\u00ebtu varet nga fuqia psikologike e respektimit t\u00eb normave, traditave e sidomos fes\u00eb! Po t\u2019i studiuesh edhe rregullat e fes\u00eb, gjen aq shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb bukura t\u00eb toleranc\u00ebs, por edhe t\u00eb mbrojtjes. P\u00ebr shembull, nuk lejohet q\u00eb femra n\u00eb fen\u00eb myslimane t\u00eb rrij\u00eb zbuluar apo t\u2019u jap\u00eb dor\u00ebn edhe kush\u00ebrinj\u00ebve t\u00eb par\u00eb. Kjo gj\u00eb nuk shihet nga studiuesit si intoleranc\u00eb ndaj t\u00eb af\u00ebrmve, por si nj\u00eb mbrojtje nga \u201cshejtani\u201d, pasi kan\u00eb qen\u00eb edhe kushtet nga t\u00eb cilat ka p\u00ebrfituar \u201cdjalli\u201d apo \u201cshejtani\u201d n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha rastet e in\u00e7esteve. Vet\u00ebm se k\u00ebto \u201cem\u00ebrtimet\u201d apo \u201cshpalljet\u201d v\u00eblla ose mot\u00ebr, duhet t\u00eb ken\u00eb edhe rregullat e veta sepse mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb edhe \u201chipokrizira\u201d se gjithkush e di se duhet respektuar si mot\u00ebr apo v\u00eblla, por askush nuk guxon t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb nj\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje n\u00ebp\u00ebr bot\u00eb apo turiz\u00ebm si motra me v\u00ebllan\u00eb me dik\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb fakt nuk e ka mot\u00ebr apo v\u00eblla. T\u00eb jemi t\u00eb qet\u00eb se edhe rregullat q\u00eb motra e v\u00ebllai t\u00eb rritur nuk lejohen t\u00eb flen\u00eb s\u00eb bashku nuk ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me friken e tepruar apo munges\u00ebn e \u201cmoralit\u201d, por me rregulla q\u00eb njer\u00ebzimi i ka nxjerr\u00eb dhe v\u00ebrtetuar nga shekujt. Sa p\u00ebr vete, jam dakord q\u00eb letr\u00ebn tuaj ta marrim m\u00eb shum\u00eb si nj\u00eb qortim apo apel q\u00eb njeriu duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb besnik dhe se fjala bes\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb fjala m\u00eb e bukur q\u00eb mendoj se n\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn shqipe ting\u00ebllon e fort\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb grish\u00ebse p\u00ebr t\u2019u zbatuar. Bota \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7uditur me vargun m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00eb n\u00eb let\u00ebrsin\u00eb e globit me nj\u00eb th\u00ebnie shqiptare: \u201cM\u00eb ka z\u00ebn\u00eb rrasa e vorrit me bes\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb\u201d, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se nuk e ka problem pse ka vdekur, por sepse kish dh\u00ebn\u00eb bes\u00ebn p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka, por vdekja nuk e la q\u00eb ta mbante. Un\u00eb edhe mosdh\u00ebnien e nj\u00eb borxhi e quaj shkelje t\u00eb \u201cbes\u00ebs\u201d (besimit) dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e kam transmetuar edhe te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mi. Kam nj\u00eb si v\u00eblla n\u00eb K\u00ebmishtaj t\u00eb Lushnjes dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tij m\u00eb duken v\u00ebrtet si t\u00eb v\u00ebllez\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi, kam nj\u00eb model t\u00eb bukur, nipin tim Genti, i cili kur afrohet me nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb, thot\u00eb: \u201cDuhet t\u00eb ndjehem edhe mbrojt\u00ebsi i saj, si t\u00eb isha n\u00eb rolin e v\u00ebllait t\u00eb saj\u201d, sipas parimit, q\u00eb \u201cmos ia b\u00ebj tjetrit at\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb ti nuk do ta d\u00ebshiroje t\u00eb ta b\u00ebnin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt\u201d. Sepse, \u00ebsht\u00eb normale, v\u00eblla e mot\u00ebr nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm ai ose ajo q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e gjakut, por edhe dikush q\u00eb e ndjen si t\u00eb till\u00eb. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! Kam nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr psikologun tuaj. Dikur n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri njer\u00ebzit kan\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb padjall\u00ebzuar. Kam d\u00ebgjuar q\u00eb dikush mund t\u00eb b\u00ebnte mot\u00ebr ose v\u00eblla dik\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019e kishte gj\u00eb me gjak dhe kjo at\u00ebhere quhej \u201cv\u00eblla ose mot\u00ebr me hajmali\u201d, nd\u00ebrsa meshkujt sot i shikojn\u00eb femrat vet\u00ebm si subjekt seksual. A \u00ebsht\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5689"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5689\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}