– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje Dr. Demiri! Jam nj\u00eb pensioniste nga Tirana. Kam 34 vjet e martuar. Burri m\u00eb ka torturuar fizikisht e psikologjikisht dhe akoma vazhdon ta b\u00ebj\u00eb. Tani nuk mundem m\u00eb, e kam duruar p\u00ebr hir t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, por ata u martuan dhe jan\u00eb jasht\u00eb shtetit. Jam n\u00eb pension dhe punoj sanitare n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal. Ai, sa m\u2019i merr lek\u00ebt, m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cdo paguash qiran\u00eb e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb sht\u00ebpia ime\u201d. N\u00eb fakt, kur jemi martuar, un\u00eb e kam gjetur pa sht\u00ebpi. Tani kemi 34 vite, si\u00e7 thash\u00eb, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, ku b\u00ebm\u00eb 3 vajzat dhe un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb paguaj gjithmon\u00eb qiran\u00eb p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb. Kam derdhur djers\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe ai nuk punon. \u201cDo t\u00eb m\u00eb mbash ti, m\u00eb thot\u00eb, ose ik nga sht\u00ebpia se \u00ebsht\u00eb e imja\u201d. Un\u00eb e kam frik\u00eb edhe kur e shikoj. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb 130 kile, kurse un\u00eb 46 e m\u00eb tmerron. Sa m\u00eb shikon, m\u00eb ofendon. Kam tentuar disa her\u00eb t\u00eb vet\u00ebvritem, por kam menduar p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Nuk mund ta duroj dot m\u00eb dhun\u00ebn psikologjike. Kam kaluar n\u00eb depresion. E \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj un\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb, tani q\u00eb jam 62 vje\u00e7e dhe punoj ashtu, edhe pse e s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Si duhet t\u00eb veproj? Ju lutem, m\u00eb ktheni p\u00ebrgjigje. Me respekt, Mira.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – E nderuara 62 vje\u00e7are! Nuk doja q\u00eb ta botoja k\u00ebt\u00eb letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde, aq e r\u00ebnd\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb, ose do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb ta kishim b\u00ebr\u00eb si objekt diskutimi edhe me lexuesit e \u201cIntervist\u00ebs\u201d, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt me siguri do t\u00eb t\u00eb thonin: Po si e paske duruar deri tani?! Pse u dashka kjo jeta jote e p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt me k\u00ebt\u00eb njeri i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb parazit dhe i pashpirt, aq sa t\u00eb paska torturuar t\u00ebr\u00eb jet\u00ebn fizikisht e psikologjikisht e aq sa disa her\u00eb ti ke tentuar q\u00eb t\u00eb vet\u00ebvritesh? E din\u00eb vajzat e tua k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje? A e din\u00eb ato se babai i tyre 130 kilogram\u00eb jeton me djer\u00ebn e nj\u00eb sanitareje 46 kilogram\u00ebshe dhe \u201cluan\u201d me t\u00eb si macja me miun, aq sa ti thua \u201cm\u00eb tmerron sa m\u00eb shikon; m\u00eb ofendon\u201d etj. A i din\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj k\u00ebto? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se nuk i din\u00eb, ti pse nuk ua thua? N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se i din\u00eb, si nuk po del nj\u00ebra q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb marr\u00eb me vete jasht\u00eb, me mir\u00ebkuptim edhe me burrin e q\u00eb ti t\u00eb jetosh atje si nj\u00eb kontesh\u00eb, si\u00e7 e meriton e q\u00eb t\u2019u vish n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb edhe nip\u00ebrve e mbesave q\u00eb kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr gjyshen e q\u00eb po t\u00eb jet\u00eb sanitare, sa \u00e7\u2018fiton me nj\u00eb or\u00eb pun\u00eb n\u00eb Itali a Greqi n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb familje, nuk e fiton p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn te lokali ku ti punon k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri? Ku e gjeti ai burri yt t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u2019u dhjamosur n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi n\u00eb kurrizin t\u00ebnd e t\u00eb haj\u00eb djers\u00ebn e nj\u00eb 46 kilogram\u00ebsheje kock\u00eb e l\u00ebkur\u00eb q\u00eb i shkon uji p\u00ebr gurmazi? Un\u00eb e kam shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i rekomandoj nj\u00eb \u00e7ifti divorcin, pasi edhe n\u00eb Kuranin e shenjt\u00eb thuhet se \u00ebsht\u00eb gjynah i madh n\u00ebse b\u00ebhesh shkaku apo sebepi i keq p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndar\u00eb nj\u00eb kuror\u00eb, porse mendoj se shkaktari i prishjes nuk do t\u00eb jesh as ti, as un\u00eb, por ai i pashpirt dhe i pap\u00ebrgjegjsh\u00ebm, yt shoq. Vet\u00eb fakti q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cdhjamosur\u201d duke vajtur 130 kilogram\u00eb, tregon se ai \u00ebsht\u00eb treguar i pap\u00ebrgjegjsh\u00ebm edhe n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e vet sedentare, \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cmbyllur\u201d n\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet \u201czona e rehatis\u00eb\u201d dhe k\u00ebrkon nga ti dhjam\u00eb nga pleshti, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se vajzat e martuara jan\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cmerakosura\u201d se duke u martuar u prishet \u201cimazhi\u201d prind\u00ebror, le ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb si me lezet, le ta \u00e7lirojn\u00eb maman\u00eb e tyre nga ky p\u00ebrbind\u00ebsh dhe ai le t\u00eb marr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb jetuar me qira nj\u00eb grua tjet\u00ebr (po ta gjej\u00eb), se nuk e ndalon kush, pasi as sht\u00ebpin\u00eb nuk e shet dot ai edhe sikur ta ket\u00eb bler\u00eb q\u00eb para martes\u00ebs me ty, pasi martesa t\u00eb b\u00ebn bashk\u00ebpronare automatikisht. Un\u00eb e \u00e7do njeri, edhe ai me pak mend, nuk e l\u00eb njeriun e vet n\u00eb at\u00eb lloj rreziku e degradimi, se nuk pyes as p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e as p\u00ebr pasuri dhe ju o vajza t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj n\u00ebne, sado q\u00eb ju dhimbset edhe babai, duhet t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoni n\u00ebn\u00ebn. \u00c7far\u00eb do ishte m\u00eb shum\u00eb prishje imazhi, divorci apo vet\u00ebvrasja? Sigurisht, r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb par\u00ebsore e ka jeta dhe n\u00ebse, larg qoft\u00eb, ndodh q\u00eb mamaja juaj t\u00eb vras\u00eb veten, at\u00ebhere ju tri vajzat, bashk\u00eb me burrat, sigurisht q\u00eb do t\u00eb vini ta qani, por edhe do t\u00eb thoni: \u201cKu ishim?!\u201d. Edhe babai juaj mund t\u00eb l\u00ebndohet e pendohet pse e \u00e7oi nj\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb gremin\u00eb, por n\u00ebse nuk i b\u00ebhet \u201cazili\u201d te burgu, p\u00ebr nenin shtr\u00ebngim p\u00ebr vet\u00ebvrasje, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn do t\u00eb pendohet q\u00eb hyri n\u00eb gjynah q\u00eb e \u201cvrau\u201d t\u00eb shoqen n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb indirekte me torturat, me ngacmuesit e shumt\u00eb e t\u00eb paduruesh\u00ebm ndaj saj. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ajo pati aq frik\u00eb nga divorci apo denoncimi n\u00eb polici pas s\u00eb cilit direkt t\u00eb vendosin \u201cbyzyluk\u00ebt\u201d, po ti t\u00eb pakten o \u201cburr\u00eb\u201d 130 kilogram\u00eb, nuk e ke aspak frik\u00eb Zotin?! O rob i trashur nga trupi dhe nga trut\u00eb, pse nuk mendon p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb pensioniste q\u00eb po shuhet t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn si njeri, pse nuk e v\u00eb veten t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb rolin e v\u00ebllait t\u00eb saj? \u00c7\u2019do t\u00eb b\u00ebsh p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe pa t\u00eb, n\u00ebse ajo vret veten? K\u00ebto pyetje po i b\u00ebj duke pasur parasysh nj\u00eb mjet psikologjik q\u00eb quhet \u201crreziku\u201d. Njer\u00ebz t\u00eb till\u00eb, me an\u00eb t\u00eb asaj q\u00eb quhet hipnoterapi, un\u00eb i vendos n\u00eb vendin e rrezikut, ose t\u00eb \u201cshtrir\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb shtratin e vdekjes, duke i rip\u00ebrjetuar t\u00eb gjitha gabimet, gafat, faj\u00ebsit\u00eb apo m\u00ebkatet q\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb njeriu q\u00eb e \u00e7oi veten deri k\u00ebtu. Ka ndodhur q\u00eb klienti edhe ka qar\u00eb gjat\u00eb k\u00ebtij procesi hipnoterapeutik dhe un\u00eb i kam th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cZgjohu dhe mos qaj, g\u00ebzoju q\u00eb kjo q\u00eb \u201cp\u00ebrjetove\u201d ishte si nj\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr e keqe e nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, por ndrysho, mos u sill k\u00ebshtu me veten e me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt\u201d, ose: \u201cMos p\u00ebrdor m\u00eb alkool, drog\u00eb… se ja ku t\u00eb \u00e7oka kjo!\u201d.
\nKjo lloj metode, ky mjet psikologjik ka shum\u00eb ndikim p\u00ebr t\u2019i ndryshuar klientit jet\u00ebn e p\u00ebr t\u2019i rilidhur \u201czinxhir\u00ebt\u201d e s\u00eb ardhmes aty ku ata jan\u00eb k\u00ebputur. Q\u00ebllimi i psikoterapis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019i jap\u00eb kuptim e p\u00ebrmbajtje jet\u00ebs e t\u00eb ndihmoj\u00eb jet\u00ebn e c\u00ebnuar, por kjo duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00ebn e duhur dhe jo kur, si\u00e7 thuhet, e ka marr\u00eb ferra urat\u00ebn. Shpeshher\u00eb na vijn\u00eb me vones\u00eb p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb, at\u00ebhere kur ka ndodhur e keqja ose kur \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb von\u00eb. Dje e p\u00ebrzura nj\u00eb djal\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebmtuar dhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb varur nga droga. E di q\u00eb nuk i duhet mbyllur kurr\u00eb dera nj\u00eb klienti, por d\u00ebmi i tij ishte kolosal dhe ai tani ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb psikik q\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnonte t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit e tij pensionist\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i dh\u00ebn\u00eb para p\u00ebr drog\u00eb. Ai tani paraqet edhe rrezikshm\u00ebri dhe duhet mbyllur n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb institucion p\u00ebr trajtim, p\u00ebrpara se t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundoj\u00eb te Burgu i Zaharis\u00eb n\u00eb Kruj\u00eb dhe ndonj\u00eb jet\u00eb e pafajshme t\u00eb k\u00ebputet nga dora e tij. Ai ishte gati t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnonte edhe mua se s\u2019po e \u201cndihmoja\u201d, por un\u00eb e p\u00ebrcolla si me lezet. Tek ai ka ardhur ai q\u00eb quhet \u201crreziku\u201d dhe mbi 10 vite p\u00ebrdorues droge do t\u00eb thot\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb e humbur p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Tani, le t\u00eb themi sa t\u00eb duam \u201cku ishim?\u201d, se rikuperimi dhe rehabilitimi i tij \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, n\u00eb mos, i pamundur… Besoj e kuptoni se \u201ck\u00ebmbanat\u201d e k\u00ebsaj p\u00ebrgjigjes sime duhet t\u00eb bien m\u00eb tep\u00ebr p\u00ebr vajzat e tua, e nderuara 62 vje\u00e7are, por edhe p\u00ebr ty. Mira, mos ia lejo vetes vet\u00ebvrasjen, dor\u00ebzimin!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje Dr. Demiri! Jam nj\u00eb pensioniste nga Tirana. Kam 34 vjet e martuar. Burri m\u00eb ka torturuar fizikisht e psikologjikisht dhe akoma vazhdon ta b\u00ebj\u00eb. Tani nuk mundem m\u00eb, e kam duruar p\u00ebr hir t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, por ata u martuan dhe jan\u00eb jasht\u00eb shtetit. Jam n\u00eb pension dhe punoj sanitare n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal. Ai, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5515"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5515\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}