P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, miq t\u00eb gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d! Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam Denisa. E mora edhe un\u00eb guximin t\u00eb shkruaj dhe t\u00eb tregoj historin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs sime. Jeta ime ka qen\u00eb mjaft e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. U braktisa disa or\u00eb pas lindjes. N\u00ebna ime mendoj se m\u00eb konsideronte nj\u00eb penges\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, por di vet\u00ebm q\u00eb arsyeja pse jam gjall\u00eb sot \u00ebsht\u00eb gjyshja ime. K\u00ebshtu, u braktisa 28 vite m\u00eb par\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb fshat t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. Historia ime filloi me braktisja nga personi q\u00eb duhej t\u00eb m\u00eb donte m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb. N\u00eb fillim, as gjyshja ime nuk donte t\u00eb m\u00eb mbante sepse doktori i kishte th\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb \u201cvajza nuk do ta ket\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb\u201d. Ajo m\u00eb mbajti disa dit\u00eb me mendimin se do t\u00eb kisha vdekur, por un\u00eb e mora veten dhe ajo ndryshoi mendim. \u201cT\u00eb pash\u00eb, ishe kaq e bukur sa mendova \u201cnuk dua t\u00eb l\u00eb\u201d\u201d, m\u00eb thoshte ajo\u2026<\/p>\n
Baban\u00eb tim e kam par\u00eb vet\u00ebm disa her\u00eb, kur isha 5 vje\u00e7e, pasi ai vdiq n\u00eb nj\u00eb aksident. M\u00eb kujtohen vet\u00ebm pak \u00e7aste me t\u00eb, pasi kam qen\u00eb shum\u00eb e vogel dhe nuk kuptoja shum\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebria ime ishte shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb sepse m\u00eb paragjykonin shum\u00eb. Epitete nga m\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshmet kam d\u00ebgjuar p\u00ebr veten time. Gjyshja ka qen\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetja ime m\u00eb e madhe. M\u00eb ka falur dashuri pafund, ashtu si\u00e7 b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha gjyshet dhe m\u00eb rriti me sakrifica. N\u00ebn\u00ebn time e takova kur isha 14 vje\u00e7e. Ajo ishte n\u00eb burg, p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka q\u00eb nuk dua ta p\u00ebrmend pasi m\u00eb vjen shum\u00eb zor se si ka mundur ta b\u00ebj\u00eb di\u00e7ka t\u00eb till\u00eb (ende sot, ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb duke vuajtur d\u00ebnimin p\u00ebr at\u00eb veprim). Un\u00eb mezi e prisja at\u00eb takim me t\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa ajo, sapo m\u00eb pa, tha:
\n– Ku \u00ebsht\u00eb vajza ime? At\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn doja t\u00eb takoja\u2026
\nPriste motr\u00ebn time dhe un\u00eb as nuk i interesoja fare. Nuk jam e nevrikosur me t\u00eb, por doja t\u00eb merrja nj\u00eb shpjegim. Pse sillej k\u00ebshtu me mua? Edhe un\u00eb isha vajza e saj, pavar\u00ebsisht rrethanave apo ngjarjeve q\u00eb kishin ndodhur n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e saj. Duhet t\u00eb flisnim bashk\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk ndodhi kurr\u00eb, t\u2019i jepnim nj\u00ebra-tjetr\u00ebs nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi, p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn mir\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm ata q\u00eb e kan\u00eb provuar e din\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb rritesh dhe t\u00eb mos e kesh n\u00ebn\u00ebn pran\u00eb, dashurin\u00eb e vetme q\u00eb ekziston pa kushte n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb. T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt nuk i kan\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt pran\u00eb dhe u dhemb zemra nga mungesa e tyre, nd\u00ebrsa n\u00ebna ime m\u00eb kishte dhe nuk donte t\u00eb m\u00eb shikonte me sy.
\nKur isha 18 vje\u00e7e, e lash\u00eb fshatin dhe erdha k\u00ebtu. U nisa me t\u00eb dashurin tim p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar nj\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb. Ishim njohur bashk\u00eb n\u00eb fshat, q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb. E donim nj\u00ebri-tjetrin dhe nga ajo dashuri, aq t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl, vendos\u00ebm t\u00eb jetonim k\u00ebtu, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb bashk\u00eb. T\u00eb dy kishim kursimet tona dhe diku n\u00eb periferi t\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs mor\u00ebm nj\u00eb hyrje t\u00eb vog\u00ebl me qira. Ne t\u00eb dyve na mjaftonte ajo hap\u00ebsir\u00eb, pasi nuk kishim t\u00eb ardhura p\u00ebr t\u00eb pretenduar m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Ai u sistemua shum\u00eb shpejt me pun\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb nuk po gjeja akoma dhe vazhdoja t\u00eb q\u00ebndroja n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Megjithat\u00eb, gjith\u00e7ka shkonte shum\u00eb mir\u00eb. Nuk kishim luksin t\u00eb provonim shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb na p\u00eblqenin, por ishim t\u00eb lumtur me ato \u00e7ka kishim. Shum\u00eb pak koh\u00eb m\u00eb pas, un\u00eb mbeta shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb. \u00cbnd\u00ebrroja akoma nj\u00eb t\u00eb ardhme m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa ai, sapo e mori vesh se un\u00eb prisja nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb, u zhduk. Nuk munda ta besoja! Isha e bindur se m\u00eb donte dhe se do t\u00eb kalonim jet\u00ebn bashk\u00eb, por ai iku si nj\u00eb frikacak.
\nP\u00ebr nj\u00ebfar\u00eb kohe mendova se ishte thjesht nj\u00eb moment frike. Mendoja se do t\u00eb kthehej dhe e prita \u00e7do dit\u00eb. Mendoja se dera do t\u00eb hapej dhe ai do t\u00eb hynte e do t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrqafonte, duke m\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar falje p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka, se jeta jon\u00eb do t\u00eb fillonte nga e para, por n\u00eb fakt kalonin dit\u00ebt e jav\u00ebt dhe un\u00eb u gjenda s\u00ebrish vet\u00ebm, n\u00eb muajin e gjasht\u00eb t\u00eb shtatzanis\u00eb. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb zuri paniku. Mendoja se \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb ndodhte me mua… Ku do t\u00eb shkoja? Si do t\u2019ia dilja me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn? K\u00ebto pyetje m\u00eb peshonin mbi kok\u00eb. Nj\u00eb shoqja ime m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloi t\u00eb lindja dhe ta lija f\u00ebmij\u00ebn p\u00ebr pak koh\u00eb n\u00eb fshatin SOS, sa t\u00eb sistemohesha me pun\u00eb. N\u00eb fillim mendova se do t\u00eb ishte gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e mir\u00eb, duke menduar se p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn do t\u00eb kujdesej nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr familje, q\u00eb mund t\u2019i jepte nj\u00eb t\u00eb ardhme m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb. U p\u00ebrgatita p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb. Shkova n\u00eb sall\u00ebn e lindjes, e bindur se do t\u00eb lindja dhe do t\u00eb ikja, nj\u00eb sakrific\u00eb e madhe p\u00ebr mua, vet\u00ebm me q\u00ebllimin p\u00ebr t\u2019i dh\u00ebn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs tim nj\u00eb jet\u00eb pa shum\u00eb vuajtje dhe siklete, jo si ajo q\u00eb e kisha kaluar un\u00eb. Thosha se p\u00ebr t\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ishte gjith\u00e7ka e leht\u00eb. Doja ta shihja vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb kisha mund\u00ebsin\u00eb ta imagjinoja kur t\u00eb rritej, por kur e mora n\u00eb krah\u00eb, di\u00e7ka brenda meje u zgjua. Ishte f\u00ebmija im dhe duhet ta mbaja! Nuk doja ta braktisja, nuk doja q\u00eb fati dhe historia ime t\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritej. E dija q\u00eb ishte e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb e nuk e imagjinoja sesa, por duhet ta provoja me gjith\u00eb veten time. Mendova: N\u00ebse nuk arrij t\u00eb jem m\u00eb e mir\u00eb se n\u00ebna ime, p\u00ebrse mbijetova at\u00ebher\u00eb? Dola nga spitali me vog\u00eblushin n\u00eb krah\u00eb, totalisht e pap\u00ebrgatitur psikologjikisht dhe praktikisht, duke qen\u00eb se kisha menduar t\u00eb mos e mbaja, por me shum\u00eb dashuri p\u00ebr t\u00eb e me vendosm\u00ebrin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb luftuar.
\nKam kaluar momente shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira, sa tani q\u00eb po shkruaj dhe i kujtoj, m\u00eb mbushen syt\u00eb me lot, por ia vlente gjith\u00eb ajo sakrific\u00eb sepse isha me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tim dhe nuk e kisha braktisur. Un\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tim u detyruam t\u00eb flinim nat\u00ebn n\u00eb barak\u00eb. Isha e d\u00ebshp\u00ebruar, madje kisha frik\u00eb se mos ma rr\u00ebmbenin. Pastaj dikush m\u00eb dha nj\u00eb ndihm\u00eb dhe m\u00eb n\u00eb fund, fati m\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshi edhe mua. M\u00eb shp\u00ebtoi nj\u00eb mikja ime, e cila m\u00eb dha nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e saj dhe koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur nj\u00eb pun\u00eb. Mendova se do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb zgjidhje shum\u00eb e mir\u00eb p\u00ebr mua sikur t\u00eb merrja edhe gjyshen k\u00ebtu. E mendova dhe ashtu veprova. E mora gjyshen nga fshati dhe filluam t\u00eb jetonim k\u00ebtu t\u00eb tre. Tani, f\u00ebmija im sapo ka mbushur 5 vje\u00e7 dhe ne jetojm\u00eb bashk\u00eb me gjyshen time. Kam nj\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur, nj\u00eb djal\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb i cili kujdeset shum\u00eb p\u00ebr ne. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, kur mendoj se \u00e7far\u00eb kam kaluar, nuk arrij t\u00eb besoj q\u00eb ia dola dhe arrita deri k\u00ebtu.
\nThon\u00eb shpesh se jetimi nuk ka fat, por un\u00eb v\u00ebrtet nuk pata fatin dhe mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb jetoja me n\u00ebn\u00ebn time, ama f\u00ebmij\u00ebs tim nuk ia mohova k\u00ebt\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb. Ndihem shum\u00eb krenare, q\u00eb nuk b\u00ebra at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebri n\u00ebna ime me mua…<\/p>\n
Blerta<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, miq t\u00eb gazet\u00ebs \u201cIntervista\u201d! Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam Denisa. E mora edhe un\u00eb guximin t\u00eb shkruaj dhe t\u00eb tregoj historin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs sime. Jeta ime ka qen\u00eb mjaft e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. U braktisa disa or\u00eb pas lindjes. N\u00ebna ime mendoj se m\u00eb konsideronte nj\u00eb penges\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, por di vet\u00ebm q\u00eb arsyeja […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5272,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5271"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5271\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}