T\u00eb dashur lexues, po jua tregoj k\u00ebt\u00eb histori p\u00ebr dy arsye. E para, p\u00ebr t\u2019ju treguar se edhe me an\u00eb t\u00eb Facebookut mund t\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh njer\u00ebz shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb e t\u00eb krijosh lidhje q\u00eb ia vlejn\u00eb dhe e dyta, p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar se si \u00ebsht\u00eb e shkruar q\u00eb disa njer\u00ebz si puna ime t\u00eb mos g\u00ebzohen kurr\u00eb.
\nUn\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb burr\u00eb 45 vje\u00e7 q\u00eb jetoj n\u00eb Angli. Kam shum\u00eb vite k\u00ebtu e tashm\u00eb jam stabilizuar mir\u00eb. Kam dy djem t\u00eb rritur sepse jam martuar i vog\u00ebl. Djalin e madh e kam n\u00eb Akademi dhe tjetrin, n\u00eb nj\u00eb kolegj. Jan\u00eb djem t\u00eb mir\u00eb e t\u00eb urt\u00eb. Kam disa vjet q\u00eb jam ndar\u00eb nga gruaja. T\u00eb them t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, ndoshta gabimi q\u00ebndron tek un\u00eb q\u00eb jam pak m\u00eb shum\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019duhet xheloz. E di se i kaloj caqet, por \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebj? Nuk mund t\u00eb ndryshoj! Ajo, tashm\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb martuar me nj\u00eb anglez dhe jeton shum\u00eb mir\u00eb (nga ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb djemt\u00eb kur i takoj, se un\u00eb nuk e takoj asnj\u00ebher\u00eb), mir\u00ebpo kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb histori e shkuar e nuk dua t\u00eb flas p\u00ebr t\u00eb me ju sepse nuk dua ta kujtoj aspak. Historia ime fillon k\u00ebshtu:
\nNuk jam ndonj\u00eb p\u00ebrdorues i madh i Facebookut, por ja q\u00eb shanci m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb njihja nj\u00eb grua shum\u00eb t\u00eb bukur. I shihja fotografit\u00eb e saj sepse kishim nj\u00eb mik t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt. U dashurova menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas saj, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb i b\u00ebja ftes\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb pranonte si shok, por ajo m\u00eb refuzonte. E provova shum\u00eb her\u00eb, si tip k\u00ebmb\u00ebngul\u00ebs q\u00eb jam, por asaj nuk i mbushej mendja. E ta mendosh se un\u00eb n\u00eb foto dal bukur, m\u00eb bukur se natyral! M\u00eb b\u00ebri shum\u00eb kurioz dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb dashuruar me t\u00eb, se e kuptova se mund t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb grua besnike. I \u00e7ova nj\u00eb mesazh e pastaj nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, por s\u2019m\u00eb ktheu p\u00ebrgjigje. Pas shum\u00eb mundimeve m\u00eb b\u00ebri shok, sepse m\u00eb duket kishte pyetur shoqen e vet dhe i kishte th\u00ebn\u00eb se isha nj\u00eb kush\u00ebri i saj dhe njeri shum\u00eb i mir\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk t\u00eb bezdis. Ky ishte vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb hap i vog\u00ebl, por mua m\u00eb mbushi me shpres\u00eb. U fiksova keq pas saj. I shihja fotot e saj \u00e7do dit\u00eb e i \u00e7oja mesazh ku i thoja \u201cp\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje\u201d, por nuk ma kthente.
\nIshte nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb shum\u00eb stresuese, por edhe e bukur, q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte kthyer edhe nj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb rini, sepse e mbaja gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn mendjen tek interneti, duke pritur nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb saj\u00ebn. Dhe, m\u00eb n\u00eb fund, erdhi edhe p\u00ebrgjigjja. I kisha shkruar: \u201cP\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje\u201d dhe emrin e saj e ajo ma kishte khtyer thjesht: \u201cP\u00ebrsh\u201d. As t\u00eb plot\u00eb fjal\u00ebn nuk e kishte shkruar, por mua m\u00eb mjaftonte. Mendova se ndoshta kishte patur pun\u00eb sepse ma kishte d\u00ebrguar nga celulari, por prap\u00eb her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr ashtu ma ktheu.
\n\u201cEh, \u00e7\u2019qenka kjo!\u201d, mendova me vete, por prap\u00eb vazhdova pa u ndalur as nga k\u00ebto veprime t\u00eb saj. Nj\u00eb nat\u00eb ajo m\u2019i ktheu p\u00ebrgjigjet. M\u00eb tregoi se ishte e divorcuar dhe kishte nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 18 vje\u00e7e. Kishte koh\u00eb q\u00eb ishte ndar\u00eb nga i shoqi sepse ishte shum\u00eb xheloze e ai, shum\u00eb femnist, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb ishte e pamundur t\u00eb rrinin bashk\u00eb. U k\u00ebnaqa, t\u00eb them t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, q\u00eb ishte e lir\u00eb, sepse m\u00eb kishte t\u00ebrhequr shum\u00eb ajo grua.
\nAjo m\u00eb pyeti mua p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha dhe un\u00eb u tregova shum\u00eb i sinqert\u00eb me t\u00eb. U lidh\u00ebm edhe n\u00eb Skype dhe e quajt\u00ebm veten t\u00eb dashur, edhe pse akoma nuk ishim takuar. Ajo m\u00eb njoftonte p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka: Ku ishte, me k\u00eb ishte dhe un\u00eb, gjithashtu. M\u00eb p\u00eblqente \u00e7do gj\u00eb e saj, vet\u00ebm b\u00ebhesha shum\u00eb nervoz kur ma mbyllte telefonin e s\u2019m\u00eb fliste kur ishte n\u00eb pun\u00eb sepse mendoja se mos kishte ndonj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur tjet\u00ebr (natyra ime xheloze). Mir\u00ebpo menj\u00ebher\u00eb ajo futej diku dhe m\u00eb qet\u00ebsonte me fjal\u00ebt e saj t\u00eb \u00ebmbla, kurse mua m\u00eb dukej sikur fluturoja, sepse m\u00eb n\u00eb fund, e kisha gjetur femr\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr mua. Nga t\u00eb gjitha femrat q\u00eb kam njohur, ajo ishte m\u00eb e mira, p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb k\u00ebtu edhe ish-gruan time, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn tani nuk ndjej asgj\u00eb.
\nNuk po duroja dot pa e takuar, por nuk m\u00eb duhej t\u00eb prisja pak koh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb merrja leje nga puna e t\u00eb shkoja n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Megjith\u00ebse ne shiheshim n\u00eb Skype e flisnim me mesazhe pa fund n\u00eb Facebook p\u00ebr vendndodhjen ton\u00eb, pritja p\u00ebr takimin ishte shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. Mora leje dhe u nisa p\u00ebr Shqip\u00ebri. Ajo po m\u00eb priste n\u00eb aeroport. E pash\u00eb nga larg dhe m\u00eb dukej shum\u00eb e gjat\u00eb koha derisa t\u00eb dilja e ta takoja. Ajo ishte shum\u00eb e bukur. Kishte nj\u00eb fytyr\u00eb engj\u00ebllore dhe me nj\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshje q\u00eb mua m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb hutohem e t\u00eb m\u00eb merret goja. Madje m\u00eb humb\u00ebn fjal\u00ebt fare dhe ajo, e habitur m\u00eb pyeti:
\n– Nuk je mir\u00eb? \u00c7far\u00eb nuk shkon?
\n– Jam shum\u00eb mir\u00eb, vet\u00ebm se nuk e prisja t\u00eb ishe kaq e bukur! – m\u00eb dol\u00ebn fjal\u00ebt vetiu.
\nAjo qeshi me t\u00eb madhe dhe m\u00eb tha:
\n– M\u00eb tmerrove! Po ajo e Skajpit jam.
\n– Jo, jo, ti je dhjet\u00ebfish m\u00eb e bukur! Sa me fat jam!
\nPo thoja t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn. N\u00eb Skype ajo ishte e bukur, por origjinale, ishte super! Mor\u00ebm nj\u00eb taksi dhe shkuam n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e saj. Vajza nuk ishte aty sepse sapo e kishte marr\u00eb vesh p\u00ebr mua ishte m\u00ebrzitur dhe kishte shkuar tek i ati. Kur ajo e tha k\u00ebt\u00eb, syt\u00eb iu vesh\u00ebn pak nga nj\u00eb hije trishtimi, por un\u00eb e binda se do t\u00eb b\u00ebja t\u00eb pamundur\u00ebn q\u00eb vajza t\u00eb ndjehej shum\u00eb mir\u00eb me ne. Ajo m\u00eb pa me besim, gj\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb ndihem i sigurt\u00eb n\u00eb dashurin\u00eb ton\u00eb. Ajo m\u00eb b\u00ebri nj\u00eb kafe dhe u ul\u00ebm t\u00eb bisedonim. Ishte nj\u00eb grua q\u00eb fliste qet\u00eb dhe \u00ebmb\u00ebl. Ajo ishte perfekte. Dit\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr erdhi vajza e saj dhe m\u00eb pa me sy t\u00eb eg\u00ebr, sikur donte t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrpinte t\u00eb gjall\u00eb. Ndjeva se mund ta kaloja k\u00ebt\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi; p\u00ebr at\u00eb grua do t\u00eb b\u00ebja gjith\u00e7ka. Kalova disa dit\u00eb n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, gjat\u00eb t\u00eb cilave nuk takova asnj\u00eb kush\u00ebri, vet\u00ebm ia kushtova k\u00ebsaj gruaje dhe vajz\u00ebs s\u00eb saj. Nga fundi, vajza filloi t\u00eb \u201czbutej\u201d pak dhe kjo ishte nj\u00eb shenj\u00eb e mir\u00eb. U nisa p\u00ebr n\u00eb Angli me nj\u00eb g\u00ebzim t\u00eb madh n\u00eb gji sepse tani isha i dashururar me gruan perfekte. Vija m\u00eb shpesh n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, takoheshim e dashuria jon\u00eb sa vinte e rritej. Nj\u00eb her\u00eb mora edhe djemt\u00eb me vete dhe t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ashtu s\u00eb bashku dukeshim si nj\u00eb familje e lumtur. Mir\u00ebpo, si gjithmon\u00eb, p\u00ebr mua nuk mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb lumturi. E them k\u00ebt\u00eb jo se jam tip pesimist, por gjithmon\u00eb k\u00ebshtu m\u00eb ka ndodhur. Sapo mendoj se i rregullova pun\u00ebt, ato m\u00eb prishen, ndoshta ngaq\u00eb jam nj\u00eb njeri i rregullt m\u00eb shum\u00eb se\u00e7 duhet…
\nNj\u00eb dit\u00eb, e dashura e jet\u00ebs sime m\u00eb doli n\u00eb telefon duke qar\u00eb aq shum\u00eb sa nuk arrinte t\u00eb fliste. Edhe pse kisha nj\u00eb pun\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb dor\u00eb, i k\u00ebrkova t\u00eb hapte menj\u00ebher\u00eb Skypin (ia kisha bler\u00eb telefonin q\u00eb t\u00eb lidheshim me Skype kudo q\u00eb t\u00eb ishim). Kur ajo e hapi telefonin, \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb shihja? Ajo ishte n\u00eb spital. U shokova. I kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb fik\u00ebt n\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe koleg\u00ebt e kishin nisur menj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb spital. Preva urgjentisht bilet\u00ebn dhe u nisa p\u00ebr n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri. Kur e pash\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb spital, nuk doja t\u00eb jetoja m\u00eb. Tashm\u00eb, mjek\u00ebt e kishin ekzaminuar: Ajo kishte nj\u00eb tumor t\u00eb madh n\u00eb kok\u00eb.
\nNuk e p\u00ebrmbaja dot veten. Lot\u00ebt m\u00eb rridhnin n\u00eb faqe dhe kuptova se jeta ime tashm\u00eb s\u2019kishte asnj\u00eb kuptim. E shtr\u00ebngoja n\u00eb krah\u00eb pa menduar se mund t\u00eb kishte ndonj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb na shihte. Ajo mundohej t\u00eb m\u00eb qet\u00ebsonte dhe m\u00eb thoshte se duhej ta p\u00ebrmbaja veten, por un\u00eb nuk mundesha. Ajo m\u00eb thoshte k\u00ebshtu jo se nuk i dhimbsej jeta e saj, por nuk donte t\u00eb m\u00eb shihte ashtu sepse m\u00eb dashuronte me gjith\u00eb shpirt.
\n– Do t\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7oj n\u00eb spitalet m\u00eb t\u00eb mira t\u00eb bot\u00ebs, q\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebrohesh. Ti je fati im dhe nuk do t\u00eb t\u00eb l\u00eb t\u00eb shkosh. \u2013 i thoja or\u00eb e minut\u00eb.
\nTe k\u00ebmb\u00ebt e krevatit rrinte vajza e saj, e cila ashtu si edhe un\u00eb, nuk arrinte ta besonte. Sapo e pash\u00eb, e kuptova se ajo kishte nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr mb\u00ebshtetjen time. E mblodha veten dhe i thash\u00eb t\u00eb shkonim t\u00eb pinim di\u00e7ka jasht\u00eb. E dashura ime aprovoi me kok\u00eb dhe, kur u afrova ta puthja, m\u00eb tha:
\n– E kam ditur gjithmon\u00eb se ke qen\u00eb i duhuri. – k\u00ebshtu e kishte zakon ajo, fliste pak fjal\u00eb dhe t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb men\u00e7ura.
\nDol\u00ebm t\u00eb dy dhe u ul\u00ebm n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal. Ajo m\u00eb pa n\u00eb sy e m\u00eb tha:
\n– Po ti, nuk kishe pun\u00eb, q\u00eb erdhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb?
\n– S\u2019ka pun\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme se n\u00ebna jote! Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr mua…
\n– M\u00eb fal p\u00ebr n\u00eb fillim q\u00eb rrija ashtu, por kisha frik\u00eb se mos je ndonj\u00eb mashtrues.
\n– E kuptoj. \u00c7dokush ashtu do t\u00eb mendonte, jo vet\u00ebm ti. – Po mundohesha ta largoja bised\u00ebn nga \u00ebma, por ajo m\u00eb nd\u00ebrpreu duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb:
\n– Pse \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq e keqe kjo s\u00ebmundje? Rri fshehur n\u00eb trupin e njeriut dhe kur shfaqet, \u00e7do gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e kot\u00eb, nuk mund t\u00eb b\u00ebsh asgj\u00eb…
\n– \u00c7\u2019jan\u00eb k\u00ebto q\u00eb thua? Asgj\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur. Un\u00eb do ta \u00e7oj n\u00eb spitalet m\u00eb t\u00eb mira t\u00eb bot\u00ebs. Nuk do ta l\u00eb at\u00eb s\u00ebmundje t\u00eb tmerrshme t\u00eb fitoj\u00eb.
\nI thash\u00eb k\u00ebshtu, edhe pse doktor\u00ebt m\u00eb kishin th\u00ebn\u00eb se tumori ishte n\u00eb nj\u00eb zon\u00eb mjaft t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, ku ishte gati e pamundur t\u00eb operohej.
\n– Eh, kujt i thua?! Ti po vuan nj\u00ebsoj si un\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm po mundohesh t\u00eb m\u00eb qet\u00ebsosh… – m\u00eb tha.
\nAshtu ishte n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. M\u00eb kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb si bomb\u00eb dhe tani nuk e dija se \u00e7\u2019po thoja. Isha i shokuar.
\nPak pasi mori vesh p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjen e saj, e dashura ime m\u00eb k\u00ebrkoi t\u00eb ndaheshim q\u00eb ta mbaja mend ashtu t\u00eb bukur si\u00e7 ishte kur nuk e kishte zbuluar akoma s\u00ebmundjen e saj. E si mund ta lija un\u00eb at\u00eb?! Ajo nuk mund t\u00eb m\u00eb dukej e sh\u00ebmtuar asnj\u00ebher\u00eb! E d\u00ebrgova t\u00eb dashur\u00ebn time n\u00eb spitalin m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb Turqi, por p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsimi ishte i pak\u00ebt dhe un\u00eb e shikoja se si po vyshkej nj\u00eb bukuri e mir\u00ebsi e till\u00eb. Si ishte e mundur? Ajo m\u00eb shtr\u00ebngonte dor\u00ebn sikur m\u00eb p\u00ebrgj\u00ebrohej q\u00eb ta lija t\u00eb vdiste, sepse po vuante shum\u00eb. Nga fundi, p\u00ebsoi nj\u00eb paraliz\u00eb dhe e fshihte fytyr\u00ebn me dor\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e shihja, por trishtimi im m\u00eb i madh ishte humbja e saj. E shoq\u00ebrova kudo, n\u00eb \u00e7do vend dhe i ndenja pran\u00eb pa menduar asnj\u00eb \u00e7ast se si do t\u00eb ishte humbja e saj. Nuk e kisha menduar se kjo humbje ishte e padurueshme p\u00ebr mua. Gati kalova n\u00eb depresion. Kur ajo vdiq, asgj\u00eb p\u00ebr mua s\u2019kishte m\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi. Edhe pse jeta vazhdon, p\u00ebr mua nuk do t\u00eb ket\u00eb m\u00eb shk\u00eblqimin q\u00eb pati p\u00ebr koh\u00ebn q\u00eb isha pran\u00eb saj.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
T\u00eb dashur lexues, po jua tregoj k\u00ebt\u00eb histori p\u00ebr dy arsye. E para, p\u00ebr t\u2019ju treguar se edhe me an\u00eb t\u00eb Facebookut mund t\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh njer\u00ebz shum\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb e t\u00eb krijosh lidhje q\u00eb ia vlejn\u00eb dhe e dyta, p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar se si \u00ebsht\u00eb e shkruar q\u00eb disa njer\u00ebz si puna ime t\u00eb mos […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5204"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5204\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}