– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! Kisha nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr psikologun ose sociologun. Pse n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, jeta sociale dhe ajo n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi v\u00ebrtitet kaq shum\u00eb rreth parave? Un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb i ri q\u00eb jetoj jasht\u00eb Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb, por m\u00eb b\u00ebn shum\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje m\u00ebnyra e jetes\u00ebs kur kthehem k\u00ebtu. Un\u00eb sinqerisht nuk e kuptoj k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj perceptimi ose mentaliteti t\u00eb njer\u00ebzve ku t\u00eb gjith\u00eb synojn\u00eb t\u2019u afrohen atyre q\u00eb duken t\u00eb pasur. K\u00ebtu, po nuk pate para, e ke shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshitr\u00eb t\u00eb gjesh nj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur, pasi un\u00eb e kam provuar personalisht para se t\u00eb largohesha nga vendi dhe isha nj\u00eb njeri i thjesht\u00eb. E kisha shum\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb hyja n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb e femrave, pasi ato nuk ishin t\u00eb interesuara p\u00ebr djemt\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb si puna ime, por p\u00ebr ata me X5 ose X6. Sot nuk jam i pasur, por n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb mir\u00eb ekonomike dhe eci n\u00ebp\u00ebr rrug\u00ebt e Tiran\u00ebs me nj\u00eb makin\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb. \u00c7udit\u00ebrisht, disa nga shok\u00ebt e mi q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb k\u00ebtu m\u00eb flasin p\u00ebr vajza q\u00eb duan t\u00eb m\u00eb takojn\u00eb apo t\u00eb njihen me mua, kur un\u00eb nuk i njoh fare. Kaq leht\u00eb shiten me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb vajzat shqiptare?! Me shprehjen se paraja t\u00eb rregullon imazhin si person dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur dhe t\u00eb admiruesh\u00ebm n\u00eb syt\u00eb e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht femrave? A \u00ebsht\u00eb ky nj\u00eb perceptim i gabuar i nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyre jetese \u201cmoderne dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrparuar\u201d, q\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsisht k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb e shoh jo vet\u00ebm te njer\u00ebzit e thjesht\u00eb, por edhe tek ata publik\u00eb? A po shkojm\u00eb ne drejt nj\u00eb kulture t\u00eb gabuar t\u00eb ushqyerjes s\u00eb t\u00eb rinjve q\u00eb rrjedhimisht do t\u00eb ndikoj\u00eb n\u00eb shum\u00eb aspekte negative, pasi t\u00eb gjith\u00eb duan t\u00eb pasurohen dhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb rinj sot sakrifikojn\u00eb jet\u00ebt e tyre duke iu futur rrug\u00ebs kriminale, p\u00ebr t\u2019u pasuruar shpejt dhe pastaj t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitojn\u00eb benefitet e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb t\u00eb pasurit? A duhet q\u00eb v\u00ebrtet n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vend gjith\u00e7ka t\u00eb sillet rreth pushtetit dhe paras\u00eb apo t\u2019u jepet m\u00eb tep\u00ebr vler\u00eb vlerave t\u00eb v\u00ebrteta njer\u00ebzore t\u00eb individ\u00ebve? Jan\u00eb kaq shum\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat do t\u00eb doja p\u00ebrgjigje… Shpresoj t\u00eb m\u2019i ktheni… Faleminderit.
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – I nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues! Nga letra jote e gjat\u00eb, del nj\u00eb pyetje: P\u00ebrse vajzat p\u00eblqejn\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr pasurin\u00eb sesa vlerat njer\u00ebzore t\u00eb nj\u00eb djali? Jo vet\u00ebm vajzat, por edhe ti, edhe un\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb themi se nuk ka vler\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur sesa t\u00eb kesh aft\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb pasurohesh n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb ndershme. E qart\u00eb? P\u00ebrndryshe, mund t\u00eb themi \u201cdjal\u00eb i mir\u00eb, por s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e vet\u201d, \u201cpo e z\u00eb sht\u00ebpia brenda\u201d ose, \u201ci ziu, gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb e nuk blen dot nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi\u201d… etj. D\u00ebgjojm\u00eb edhe k\u00ebshtu: \u201cDjal\u00eb yll, por i miri i t\u00eb tjerave, i keqi i vetes(!)\u201d. N\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, ose mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb dor\u00ebshpuar, ose nuk e mban dot pun\u00ebn, ashtu \u201cngul-shkul\u201d, si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli. A do t\u00eb t\u00eb them edhe di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur? Dikur p\u00ebrdorej shprehja \u201cqengji i urt\u00eb pi dy n\u00ebna\u201d, kurse tani thuhet: \u201cQengji i but\u00eb pi nj\u00eb t\u00eb \u201cmut\u00eb\u201d, i shkath\u00ebti pi dy n\u00ebna…\u201d (M\u00eb fal p\u00ebr pak \u201cbanalitet\u201d, porse ashtu si n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e kafsh\u00ebve, ku i dob\u00ebti jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk gjen ushqim p\u00ebr vete, por b\u00ebhet ushqim p\u00ebr m\u00eb t\u00eb fort\u00ebt sipas parimit t\u00eb ekzistencializmit. Kjo ndodh edhe n\u00eb bot\u00ebn njer\u00ebzore, ve\u00e7se \u00ebsht\u00eb pak m\u00eb e \u201cmaskuar\u201d). Shoh n\u00eb lagjen time ca alamet \u201cburrash\u201d t\u00eb cil\u00ebt vet\u00ebm burra nuk jan\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk punojn\u00eb, nuk e \u201cngulin\u201d asgj\u00ebkundi dhe mbahen nga grat\u00eb. P\u00ebr nga pamja e muhabeti, deri m\u00ebnyra se si e tokin got\u00ebn apo e shkundin cigaren, duken sikur t\u00eb marrin m\u00eb qaf\u00eb… As un\u00eb si psikolog nuk e di ku e gjejn\u00eb at\u00eb qet\u00ebsin\u00eb e krenarin\u00eb kur pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb dit\u00ebs i gjen n\u00ebp\u00ebr klube sikur t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb pun\u00ebsuar. Nuk e di se \u00e7far\u00eb u thon\u00eb grave te sht\u00ebpia k\u00ebta burra-burreca dhe do t\u00eb doja t\u2019i pyesja grat\u00eb e tyre q\u00eb punojn\u00eb n\u00eb dy pun\u00eb e t\u2019u thoja: \u201cO zonj\u00eb fisnike, a mos po e blen me para ti k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201cdashurin\u00eb\u201d e burrit t\u00ebnd? Leq\u00eb, \u00e7far\u00eb dashurie?! Imagjino, burri i fresk\u00ebt e i \u00e7lodhur, gruaja vjen e rraskapitur dhe n\u00eb krevat, gjat\u00eb dashuris\u00eb, do s\u2019do, do t\u00eb rrij\u00eb sikur i ke futur \u201cnarkoz\u00ebn\u201d dhe po e b\u00ebn \u201coperacion\u201d.
\n\u201cMos e b\u00ebj kaq tragjike, profesor\u201d, mund t\u00eb m\u00eb thuash ti, let\u00ebrshkrues. Dakord, por a e di se \u00e7\u2018thot\u00eb populli p\u00ebr k\u00ebta lloj burrash? Ja disa th\u00ebnie: \u201cburri n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, si k\u00ebrcu i zi\u201d. Burri i pazoti, si \u00e7atia pa tra\u201d edhe m\u00eb keq: Burri n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, si pordha n\u00ebp\u00ebr brek\u00eb (sidomos kur gruaja po b\u00ebn pun\u00ebt). T\u00eb duket sikur po i p\u00ebrbuz k\u00ebto lloj burrash? Ndoshta, sepse n\u00eb fakt kam qejf t\u2019i \u201ctall\u201d pak, pasi un\u00eb i p\u00ebrkas atij brezi t\u00eb cil\u00ebt duan ta sfidojn\u00eb pensionin, qoft\u00eb edhe duke shitur banane, pasi pun\u00eb nuk gjen vet\u00ebm ai q\u00eb s\u2019do t\u00eb punoj\u00eb. Kur un\u00eb kam pranuar fejes\u00ebn e goc\u00ebs sime, nuk jam bazuar te pasuria e t\u00eb fejuarit t\u00eb saj, por vet\u00ebm te fakti se ai n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 25 vje\u00e7are kishte arritur t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtonte nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi 4 kat\u00ebshe dhe nj\u00eb klub te Lana. Un\u00eb e dija se klubi ishte i p\u00ebrkohsh\u00ebm dhe ai e dinte k\u00ebt\u00eb, ndaj e kishte nd\u00ebrtuar me materiale t\u00eb \u00e7montueshme. Mua nuk m\u00eb t\u00ebrhoqi ai benzi i tij luksoz, por vet\u00ebm aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e tij dhe fakti q\u00eb i kishte duart me kallo e q\u00eb punonte n\u00eb dy pun\u00eb dhe si i rritur pa t\u00eb ndjerin baba, maman\u00eb e mbante si zonj\u00eb.
\nT\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto t\u2019i thash\u00eb se, n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit, aft\u00ebsit\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u pasuruar n\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb ndershme tregojn\u00eb se nj\u00eb burr\u00eb do t\u00eb jet\u00eb si nj\u00eb \u201ctimonier\u201d i zoti dhe \u201canija\u201d familjare nuk do t\u00eb mbytet kurr\u00eb. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb arsyeja pse vajzat shikojn\u00eb pasurin\u00eb te mashkulli, edhe pse mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb pasura vet\u00eb. Kur nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb super e pasur k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, po fejohej me nj\u00eb arsimtar t\u00eb ardhur nga provincat e q\u00eb banonte me qira, vajza u bind vet\u00ebm sepse p\u00ebrve\u00e7se ai ishte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb yll, kur ajo i tha \u201cl\u00ebre pun\u00ebn se s\u2019ia kemi nevoj\u00ebn rrog\u00ebs t\u00ebnde t\u00eb vog\u00ebl\u201d, ai i tha: \u201cJo, pun\u00ebn nuk do ta l\u00eb kurr\u00eb, e para sepse kam investuar p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb diplom\u00eb, e dyta se puna \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi e terapi dhe e treta sepse nuk dua t\u00eb jetoj me parat\u00eb e tua. M\u00eb shijon m\u00eb shum\u00eb shija e \u00ebmb\u00ebl e djers\u00ebs sime\u201d.
\nKjo vajz\u00eb, ish-studentja ime, sot psikologe, m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se kjo p\u00ebrgjigje e tij e ka bindur q\u00eb ky ishte i duhuri, edhe pse pa sht\u00ebpi e pa makin\u00eb. Nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb do t\u00eb g\u00ebzohej kur t\u2019i propozonte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb me makin\u00eb e sht\u00ebpi luksoze, sepse k\u00ebtu ajo \u201csheh\u201d jo pasurin\u00eb, por zot\u00ebsin\u00eb e tij, ashtu si\u00e7 mund t\u00eb lemerisej e t\u00eb ikte po t\u00eb merrte vesh se ky i kishte fituar parat\u00eb me drog\u00eb ose m\u00eb keq, duke grabitur si ai \u201cvras\u00ebsi\u201d q\u00eb grabiste argjendarit\u00eb apo si A. Bitraj q\u00eb vodhi bank\u00ebn. E kuptove tani se p\u00ebrse vajzat tek i pasuri nuk shohin aq shum\u00eb pasurin\u00eb, paran\u00eb, por zot\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar?
\nKur isha pedagog i ri i psikologjis\u00eb dhe u shpjegoja student\u00ebve fjal\u00ebn \u201cpersonalitet\u201d, qesha, kur n\u00eb fjalor (dhe sipas psikologjis\u00eb son\u00eb) e pash\u00eb t\u00eb shpjegohej: I vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm, normal e q\u00eb ka aft\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb zbatoj\u00eb m\u00ebsimet e Partis\u00eb… etj. N\u00eb psikologjin\u00eb amerikane ishte v\u00ebrtet: \u201ci vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm, normal\u201d, por vijonte: Q\u00eb ka aft\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb pasurohet duke zbatuar ligjet e shtetit dhe normat shoq\u00ebrore…
\nP\u00ebrgjigjja ime do t\u00eb ishte m\u00eb e plot\u00eb po t\u00eb shpjegojm\u00eb origjin\u00ebn e familjes. N\u00eb koh\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb lashta, femra rrinte me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00eb shpell\u00eb, kurse burri duhet t\u00eb ishte gjuetar dhe luft\u00ebtar i zoti, sepse po t\u00eb mos gjuante, do vdisnin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe po t\u00eb mos ishte trim e luft\u00ebtar, do t\u2019ia sulmonin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt familjen. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb e transmetuar gjenetikisht dhe q\u00eb k\u00ebtu buron fakti q\u00eb \u00e7do goc\u00eb e do burrin t\u00eb fort\u00eb, trim, e jo skilipec, por edhe \u201cgjuetar\u201d t\u00eb men\u00e7ur t\u00eb paras\u00eb, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u00eb ndjehet e mbrojtur edhe ekonomikisht. Femra, n\u00eb insktiktin shum\u00eb t\u00eb zhvilluar t\u00eb m\u00ebm\u00ebsis\u00eb, trembet shum\u00eb nga r\u00ebnia ekonomike sepse sheh pamund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i rritur si duhet f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, p\u00ebr t\u2019i shkolluar ata n\u00eb shkollat m\u00eb t\u00eb mira apo larg qoft\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u2019u shp\u00ebtuar jet\u00ebn deri me mjekime tep\u00ebr t\u00eb kushtueshme brenda ose jasht\u00eb, n\u00eb raste s\u00ebmundjesh. Pra, femra e men\u00e7ur, e sheh pasurin\u00eb t\u00ebnde si \u201czot\u00ebsi\u201d t\u00ebnden, t\u00eb sheh ty si njeri tek i cili mund t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetesh pa pasur frik\u00eb se nuk di apo nuk mundesh dhe besoj se vet\u00eb Krijuesi e b\u00ebri k\u00ebshtu femr\u00ebn \u201clakmuese\u201d t\u00eb ndjeshme, t\u00eb zgjuar, por edhe pak \u201cfrikacake\u201d. Prandaj mos prit t\u00eb gjesh nuse t\u00eb bukur, edhe pse mund t\u00eb jesh djal\u00eb i bukur, kur je \u201ckokrra e dembelit\u201d ose byth\u00ebpambuk, nj\u00eb fodull pa profesion e pa mjete p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar para. Edhe goca m\u00eb \u201ctrime\u201d do t\u00eb trembej nga nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i papun\u00eb, pa profesion e pa diplom\u00eb… \u00c7\u2019ta doj\u00eb at\u00eb, thjesht si \u201chamshor\u201d? Jooo! Besoj se u kuptuam. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! Kisha nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr psikologun ose sociologun. Pse n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, jeta sociale dhe ajo n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi v\u00ebrtitet kaq shum\u00eb rreth parave? Un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb i ri q\u00eb jetoj jasht\u00eb Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb, por m\u00eb b\u00ebn shum\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje m\u00ebnyra e jetes\u00ebs kur kthehem k\u00ebtu. Un\u00eb sinqerisht nuk e kuptoj k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj perceptimi ose mentaliteti t\u00eb njer\u00ebzve […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5021","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5021"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5021\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5021"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5021"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5021"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}