E lexoj k\u00ebt\u00eb rubrik\u00eb sepse m\u00eb p\u00eblqen pa mas\u00eb, por edhe trishtohem sepse historit\u00eb, m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti jan\u00eb t\u00eb dhimbshme se, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e sinqert\u00eb, k\u00ebshtu ka ardhur jeta: P\u00ebr shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz \u00ebsht\u00eb e trisht\u00eb, me dhimbje t\u00eb vazhdueshme. Jeta ime filloi e k\u00ebndshme e pa ndonj\u00eb trishtim sepse kam patur nj\u00eb familje jo shum\u00eb t\u00eb pasur, por mjaft t\u00eb dashur. Pasi mbarova gjimnazin, babai mundi n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet nj\u00eb shokut t\u00eb tij t\u00eb siguronte p\u00ebr mua nj\u00eb burs\u00eb p\u00ebr kurs infermierie. Dhe, n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb (b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb para viteve \u201990) ishte mrekulli t\u00eb ishe infermiere. Edhe kursin e mbarova mir\u00eb, por mbi t\u00eb gjitha kisha zbatuar me shum\u00eb korrekt\u00ebsi porosin\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb mamas\u00eb sime: \u201cKok\u00ebn lart e syt\u00eb posht\u00eb\u201d. Kur u ktheva n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi pasi mbaroi shkolla, dukesha goxha m\u00eb e rritur jo vet\u00ebm nga pamja. Edhe shoq\u00ebria me vajza nga rrethe t\u00eb ndryshme t\u00eb Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb m\u00eb kishte m\u00ebsuar shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, fillova pun\u00eb n\u00eb spitalin e qytetit tim. Megjith\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb spital i vog\u00ebl, n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb ishte i mir\u00eb sepse ishte godin\u00eb e re. N\u00eb pun\u00eb me koleget shkoja mir\u00eb, sepse shumica m\u00eb njihnin nga prind\u00ebrit, pasi si natyr\u00eb, nuk jam shum\u00eb e goj\u00ebs. P\u00ebr dy vjet q\u00eb isha n\u00eb pun\u00eb, vazhdoja t\u00eb lexoja libra. M\u00eb p\u00eblqejn\u00eb shum\u00eb romanet, t\u00eb cilat i merrja n\u00eb bibliotek\u00ebn e qytetit.
\nNj\u00eb nga koleg\u00ebt e pun\u00ebs ishte nj\u00eb djal\u00eb shtat\u00eb vjet m\u00eb i madh se un\u00eb kishte lexuar nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin e kisha lexuar rishtazi dhe duke biseduar p\u00ebr personazhet e librit, filluam goxha m\u00eb shum\u00eb muhabetin. K\u00ebshtu, fillova t\u2019i tregoja tituj t\u00eb librave q\u00eb m\u00eb kishin p\u00eblqyer m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe ai i lexonte e k\u00ebshtu ne diskutonim. Shum\u00eb shpesh b\u00ebnim rrug\u00ebn bashk\u00eb edhe me infermiere t\u00eb tjera dhe bisedat rridhnin lirsh\u00ebm. K\u00ebto lloj diskutimesh i b\u00ebnim shum\u00eb haptazi n\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe asgj\u00eb nuk binte n\u00eb sy p\u00ebr keq, sepse mjek\u00ebt si njer\u00ebz intelektual\u00eb k\u00ebnaqeshin q\u00eb edhe ne infermier\u00ebt ishim t\u00eb dashuruar pas librave.
\nBisedat e lirshme p\u00ebr librat mor\u00ebn fund sepse Altini nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb tha:
\n– Katerina e romanit \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e bukur, po un\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha q\u00eb ato fjal\u00eb t\u00eb autorit p\u00ebr t\u00eb, do t\u2019i zgjidhja p\u00ebr ty. T\u00eb dua, e dashura ime, t\u00eb lutem martohu me mua!
\nNd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb truri nuk po e p\u00ebrpunonte at\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb tha, edhe nga turpi q\u00eb m\u00eb zuri, nuk dija ku t\u00eb mbaja syt\u00eb.
\n– T\u00eb lutem kam koh\u00eb q\u00eb dua t\u00eb ta them, m\u00eb thuaj q\u00eb edhe ty t\u00eb p\u00eblqej, – nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb n\u00eb sall\u00ebn e infermier\u00ebve hyri nj\u00eb mjek dhe ai b\u00ebri sikur vazhdoi tem\u00ebn p\u00ebr librin q\u00eb po lexonte.
\nPas dy or\u00ebsh, kur s\u00ebrish ishim vet\u00eb ne t\u00eb dy, m\u00eb tha:
\n– T\u00eb shtun\u00ebn do t\u00eb jen\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e tu n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, q\u00eb t\u00eb vij\u00eb babai im e t\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj dor\u00ebn zyrtarisht?
\n– Po, – thash\u00eb me gjysm\u00eb z\u00ebri, – s\u2019di t\u00eb ken\u00eb ndonj\u00eb plan.
\nDhe e gjith\u00eb dita m\u00eb iku pa e ndier, me trurin q\u00eb e kisha l\u00ebmsh. Si mundej q\u00eb aq papritur e aq shkoqur t\u00eb m\u00eb shprehte dashurin\u00eb dhe aq papritur t\u00eb vendoste t\u00eb vinte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi?!
\nN\u00eb sht\u00ebpi at\u00eb dit\u00eb erdh\u00ebn p\u00ebr vizit\u00eb komshiet, si\u00e7 ishte n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb zakoni q\u00eb grat\u00eb e pallatit mblidheshin her\u00eb te nj\u00ebra e her\u00eb t\u00eb tjetra p\u00ebr t\u00eb pir\u00eb kafen\u00eb dhe nuk arrita t\u2019i thoja asgj\u00eb mamas\u00eb. Edhe truri m\u00eb ishte bllokuar, b\u00ebra ato pun\u00ebt e zakonshme si robot dhe u shtriva shum\u00eb shpejt n\u00eb krevat. Nuk arrita t\u00eb vija gjum\u00eb n\u00eb sy as at\u00eb nat\u00eb, as t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen. N\u00eb pun\u00eb vazhdonte rutina e p\u00ebrditshme, por shikimi i Arturit sikur m\u00eb ngrohte shpirtin. Me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb q\u00eb filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqente dhe ta krahasoja me personazhet e librave t\u00eb mi. Ata t\u00eb librave ishin t\u00eb vetmit meshkuj q\u00eb njihja…
\nE shtuna erdhi shum\u00eb shpejt, prind\u00ebrit e Altinit erdh\u00ebn dhe prind\u00ebrit e mi e prit\u00ebn mir\u00eb miq\u00ebsin\u00eb me ta. Ishin familje e rregullt, njer\u00ebz pun\u00ebtor\u00eb. E k\u00ebshtu, u fejova p\u00ebr nj\u00eb muaj.
\n– T\u00eb rrim\u00eb ca koh\u00eb t\u00eb fejuar, – m\u00eb tha Altini, – sa t\u00eb mbaroj\u00eb ai pallati i ri q\u00eb ka nisur, se babai im ka nj\u00eb shok n\u00eb k\u00ebshill t\u00eb lagjes e ndoshta p\u00ebrfitojm\u00eb t\u00eb marrim nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi.
\nDhe n\u00eb fakt ashtu ndodhi. Pallati mbaroi dhe ne mor\u00ebm nj\u00eb hyrje dhom\u00eb e kuzhin\u00eb. Sapo kishte marr\u00eb autorizimin, Altini erdhi m\u00eb mori n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi gjoja p\u00ebr xhiro.
\n– Kjo do t\u00eb jet\u00eb parajsa jon\u00eb, ti do t\u00eb m\u00eb g\u00ebzosh me f\u00ebmij\u00eb, do m\u00eb gatuash gj\u00ebra t\u00eb mira, e un\u00eb do ha jo vet\u00ebm ushqimet q\u00eb do gatuash ti, por do t\u00eb t\u00eb ha edhe ty.
\nM\u00eb dha nj\u00eb puthje q\u00eb edhe sot kur e kujtoj m\u00eb rr\u00ebnqethen misht\u00eb, m\u00eb p\u00ebrqafoi me zjarr e m\u2019u duk sikur do m\u00eb dilte shpirti. N\u00eb fakt, ishte nd\u00ebr t\u00eb paktat puthje q\u00eb m\u00eb jepte, Altini ishte djal\u00eb serioz dhe nuk i p\u00eblqente t\u00eb m\u00eb \u00e7onte cepave, si\u00e7 b\u00ebnin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Nuk e di a m\u00eb p\u00eblqeu sht\u00ebpia aq shum\u00eb, apo p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhjeljet e tij n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb trupin q\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb mbetur n\u00eb mendje.
\n– Do t\u00eb martohemi shum\u00eb shpejt, e dashur, – m\u00eb tha, – se sht\u00ebpia nuk lihet bosh.
\nDasma jon\u00eb u b\u00eb pas nj\u00eb muaji. Dh\u00ebndrri ishte shum\u00eb i bukur, por un\u00eb nuse isha nj\u00eb mrekulli, ndoshta edhe ngaq\u00eb nuk kisha v\u00ebn\u00eb kurr\u00eb tualet n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb dhe Altini e rrezatonte n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb krenarin\u00eb q\u00eb kishte p\u00ebr mua. Qysh t\u00eb diel\u00ebm fjet\u00ebm n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb t\u00eb re, megjith\u00ebse i mungonin orendit\u00eb. Kishim bler\u00eb vet\u00ebm dhom\u00ebn e gjumit dhe disa en\u00eb kuzhine. Sigurisht q\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka m\u00eb dukej e bukur dhe isha e lumtur. Muajin e mjaltit do ta b\u00ebnim kur t\u00eb vinte vera sepse ishte fund prilli koha kur u martuam. Jeta bashk\u00ebshortore po na ecte mir\u00eb dhe pas nj\u00eb viti e gjys\u00ebm, un\u00eb mora lejen e lindjes. Dit\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb t\u00eb raportit q\u00eb isha vet\u00ebm n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, m\u00eb erdhi n\u00eb ul\u00ebrim\u00eb nga im shoq. U tremba se nuk isha m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebrtiste dhe mendoj se nuk m\u00eb q\u00eblloi vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr faktin q\u00eb isha shtatz\u00ebn\u00eb.
\n– Dhe ato rrobat mos i nder m\u00eb n\u00eb tel kur nuk jam un\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, sepse ti del n\u00eb ballkon sapo del komshiu p\u00ebrball\u00eb. Laji pasi t\u00eb vij un\u00eb dhe me dritaren e banjos mbyllur! – m\u00eb tha.
\n– \u00c7far\u00eb po thua Altin, kush del, \u00e7far\u00eb shoh, p\u00ebr k\u00eb e ke fjal\u00ebn? – Me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb q\u00eb nuk po kuptoja, un\u00eb isha e lumtur me t\u00eb dhe as q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte shkuar n\u00eb mendje se mund t\u00eb kishte mashkull tjet\u00ebr.
\n– Po ai idioti q\u00eb t\u00eb buz\u00ebqesh sa her\u00eb del n\u00eb ballkon? Ju kam par\u00eb vet\u00eb… – tha dhe mu afrua aq shum\u00eb sa m\u2019u duk se do m\u00eb shqyente vet\u00ebm me shikim.
\nTha kaq dhe u nis p\u00ebr n\u00eb pun\u00eb. Kur erdhi pas pune, ishte m\u00eb i qet\u00eb, h\u00ebngri drek\u00eb dhe tha q\u00eb do t\u00eb pushonte. Shkova n\u00eb dhom\u00eb dhe fillova t\u2019i flas vet\u00eb e para q\u00eb ta bindja se nuk e kisha iden\u00eb p\u00ebr ato q\u00eb m\u00eb ksihte th\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes.
\n– Nuk dua t\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoj, – m\u00eb tha, – do ta shohim e vendosim pas nj\u00eb muaji k\u00ebt\u00eb pun\u00eb.
\nFilloi ferri im. Nj\u00eb muaj nuk dola, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 dit\u00ebn q\u00eb shkova n\u00eb maternitet p\u00ebr t\u00eb lindur. Edhe dy muajt e par\u00eb pasi linda vajz\u00ebn nuk dola sepse ishte ftoht\u00eb. Edhe n\u00eb ballkon dilja vet\u00ebm kur ishte ai, por nuk ishte e th\u00ebn\u00eb. Kur njeriu mendon p\u00ebr s\u00eb prapthi nuk mund ta nndryshosh.
\n– Pse i ke hapur perdet e trasha, apo q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb shoh\u00eb dashnori? – m\u00eb tha.
\n– Jo, Altin, i vetmi mashkull q\u00eb dua je ti. Dhe n\u00ebse ty t\u00eb duket vetja q\u00eb je dashnori im, at\u00ebher\u00eb vazhdo t\u00eb jesh apo ta mendosh si t\u00eb t\u00eb duket p\u00ebr mbar\u00eb.
\n– Ashtu? – tha dhe di vet\u00ebm q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebn\u00eb syt\u00eb xixa nga goditja. Kjo ishte e q\u00eblluara e par\u00eb e tim shoqi, por jo e fundit. M\u00eb q\u00eblloi shtat\u00eb apo tet\u00eb her\u00eb nuk e di, por di q\u00eb m\u2019u mor\u00ebn k\u00ebmb\u00ebt. Nuk m\u00eb kishin rrahur prind\u00ebrit as n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri e jo m\u00eb rrihte im shoq. E trembur, e shokuar, e fyer, nj\u00eb dhimbje fizike, por nj\u00eb dhimbje m\u00eb e tmerrshme shpirt\u00ebrore m\u00eb pushtoi t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebn. N\u00eb at\u00eb gjendje as mund t\u00eb flisja, vet\u00ebm qaja. Shkova n\u00eb dhom\u00eb dhe mora vajz\u00ebn sepse po qante. U mundova t\u00eb qet\u00ebsohesha dhe po shpresoja se ai do t\u00eb qet\u00ebsohej, se do ndryshonte.
\nGjendja vazhdoi t\u00eb acarohej gjithmon\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Altini filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb q\u00ebllonte jo m\u00eb vet\u00ebm me shpulla, por edhe me grushta. E tmerrshme gjith\u00eb kjo dhun\u00eb! Kisha d\u00ebgjuar nga plakat q\u00eb burri edhe t\u00eb rreh, por kisha d\u00ebgjuar p\u00ebr vitet 1940 dhe jo 1985. Altinin e kishte pushtuar nj\u00eb xhelozi e papar\u00eb, apo mos vall\u00eb e kishte patur dhe thjesht nuk e kishte shprehur? K\u00ebshtu durova edhe 8 muaj t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb dhuna filloi t\u00eb shpeshtohej. Kishte raste q\u00eb m\u00eb rrihte edhe dy her\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb, por nuk nxirrja z\u00eb se mos m\u00eb d\u00ebgjonin komshinjt\u00eb. Te prind\u00ebrit nuk isha ankuar q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ua shtoja problemet e tyre, por nj\u00eb nat\u00eb gjendja arriti kulmi. Ai e filloi me sharje e nd\u00ebrsa m\u00eb afrohej, e kuptova q\u00eb m\u00eb mori lumi. Goditjet ishin t\u00eb tmerrshme n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb trupin, shpulla, grushta e kur u rr\u00ebzova, filloi edhe me shkelma. M\u00eb n\u00eb fund, pushoi dhe un\u00eb mezi u ngrita. Ai hyri n\u00eb banj\u00eb t\u00eb freskohej p\u00ebr vete… Helbete, e kishte kapur vapa… Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, un\u00eb mblodha t\u00eb gjith\u00eb forcat, mora vajz\u00ebn me gjith\u00eb jorgan n\u00eb krah\u00eb e me shapka, ika me vrap n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve. Kalova nga rruga tjet\u00ebr se mendova se do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndiqte e do m\u00eb kthente mbrapsht me dhun\u00eb. N\u00eb fakt, ai kishte dal\u00eb pas meje p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb kapur, por ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb fati t\u00eb ndihmon. Ime m\u00eb u tmerrua kur m\u00eb pa. Im at\u00eb u t\u00ebrbua, v\u00ebllai im thoshte \u201cdo shkoj ta vras\u201d. M\u00eb kullonin hund\u00ebt gjak, m\u00eb ishte \u00e7ar\u00eb vetulla, trupi m\u00eb ishte skuqur e nxir\u00eb n\u00eb ca vende. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, babai solli nj\u00eb nga ata t\u00eb policis\u00eb t\u00eb shihte si isha sepse nuk donte q\u00eb i gjith\u00eb qyteti t\u00eb merrej me pamjen time t\u00eb mjerueshme dhe b\u00ebri denoncimin e k\u00ebrkes\u00ebn time p\u00ebr divorc.
\nGjyqi mbaroi pas ca muajsh, vajz\u00ebn ma lan\u00eb mua n\u00ebn kujdestari. At\u00eb e transferuan me pun\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb ambulanc\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb fshati af\u00ebr. Fatmir\u00ebsisht, nuk e lan\u00eb n\u00eb spitalin e qytetit. Pas ca koh\u00ebsh m\u00eb dhan\u00eb edhe sht\u00ebpi dhe sot jetoj vet\u00ebm me maman\u00eb time n\u00eb at\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Vajza u rrit e fatmir\u00ebsisht, e kishte mendjen p\u00ebr shkoll\u00eb. Sot punon n\u00eb nj\u00eb studio arkitekture. Megjith\u00ebse pas divorcit jeta m\u00eb ka ecur e qet\u00eb, n\u00eb pun\u00eb kam qen\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb mir\u00eb, motrat dhe v\u00ebllain i kam patur gjithmon\u00eb krah, sa her\u00eb bie t\u00eb fle gjum\u00eb, m\u00eb ushtojn\u00eb vesh\u00ebt nga fjal\u00ebt fyese t\u00eb ish-burrit tim dhe ajo zhurma e sh\u00ebmtuar e gjuajtjeve t\u00eb tij t\u00eb pam\u00ebshirshme e pa asnj\u00eb arsye, sikur t\u00eb isha nj\u00eb cop\u00eb druri dhe jo gruaja e tij, mamaja e vajz\u00ebs s\u00eb tij.
\nUn\u00eb po pres q\u00eb vajza ime t\u00eb gjej\u00eb nj\u00eb shok e t\u00eb martohet e po ashtu si\u00e7 ia uroj asaj nj\u00eb burr\u00eb t\u00eb hajrit, ashtu ia uroj cil\u00ebsdo vajz\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb ken\u00eb fat n\u00eb martes\u00ebn e saj e t\u00eb plaken t\u00eb lumtur s\u00eb bashku…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
E lexoj k\u00ebt\u00eb rubrik\u00eb sepse m\u00eb p\u00eblqen pa mas\u00eb, por edhe trishtohem sepse historit\u00eb, m\u00eb s\u00eb shumti jan\u00eb t\u00eb dhimbshme se, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb e sinqert\u00eb, k\u00ebshtu ka ardhur jeta: P\u00ebr shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz \u00ebsht\u00eb e trisht\u00eb, me dhimbje t\u00eb vazhdueshme. Jeta ime filloi e k\u00ebndshme e pa ndonj\u00eb trishtim sepse kam patur nj\u00eb familje jo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4822","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4822"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4822\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4822"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4822"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4822"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}