{"id":4670,"date":"2014-10-22T19:30:20","date_gmt":"2014-10-22T17:30:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=4670"},"modified":"2014-10-22T18:47:23","modified_gmt":"2014-10-22T16:47:23","slug":"mos-eshte-i-semure-burri-im-i-dhunshem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/10\/mos-eshte-i-semure-burri-im-i-dhunshem\/","title":{"rendered":"Mos \u00ebsht\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb burri im i dhunsh\u00ebm?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, Dr. Jashar Demiri! Jam nj\u00eb grua nga Skrapari, shum\u00eb e rregullt, por kam hall me burrin. Q\u00ebkur jam martuar, \u00ebsht\u00eb i dhunsh\u00ebm, nuk ka as komunikim, pi e me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt sillet shum\u00eb keq. Jam shum\u00eb n\u00eb hall me t\u00eb dhe doja t\u00eb dija mos vall\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, sepse edhe n\u00eb shtrat q\u00eb kur isha nuse e re, e kam v\u00ebn\u00eb re q\u00eb ashtu ishte? Ju lutem, m\u00eb ktheni p\u00ebrgjigje. Me respekt, Bajamja. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em><\/strong> &#8211; Eh, moj Bajame, sa \u201cshpejt\u201d qenke kujtuar p\u00ebr q\u00ebndrimin ndaj burrit, tani q\u00eb t\u00eb qenka \u201cdjegur\u201d rinia e je b\u00ebr\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, si\u00e7 thuhet, \u201cmos thuaj kurr\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb von\u00eb\u201d. N\u00eb let\u00ebr ti thua se ai k\u00ebshtu \u00ebsht\u00eb sjell\u00eb q\u00ebkur ti ke qen\u00eb nuse e re, pra, i dhunsh\u00ebm, pijanec etj. Po si vall\u00eb e ke duruar, a kishe apo nuk kishe ti njer\u00ebz, prind\u00ebr? Pse nuk je divorcuar? Nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb e urt\u00eb italiane thot\u00eb se gruan q\u00eb e ke inat, thuaji: \u201cMarrsh nj\u00eb pijanec (p\u00ebr burr\u00eb)\u201d, kurse burrit q\u00eb e ke inat, i thuaj: \u201cT\u00eb pafsha me motorr!\u201d. Si e ke lejuar ti Bajame q\u00eb ai t\u00eb sillet k\u00ebshtu me ty, q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim t\u00eb martes\u00ebs, kur ti thua se vet\u00eb ke qen\u00eb shum\u00eb e rregullt, kurse as ai as komunikim t\u00eb mir\u00eb s\u2019paska pasur, as sjellje, as takt, por vet\u00ebm pije, dhun\u00eb, xhelozi e keqsjellje? Pale kur thua se edhe me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt sillet keq! K\u00ebtu un\u00eb v\u00ebrtet ia hoqa \u201cviz\u00ebn\u201d pasi ai nuk njeh e nuk do as \u201cgjakun\u201d e vet! Ai qenka shpirtngurt\u00eb dhe egoist, nuk paska njer\u00ebzill\u00ebk e as ndjenja p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsie. Po si nuk ia shikove pak origjin\u00ebn, moj e gjor\u00eb, para se t\u00eb martoheshe me t\u00eb?! Dh\u00ebnt\u00eb Zoti q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb mos ndjekin \u201cmodelin\u201d e babait, pasi ata po e shohin vet\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7\u2019derexhe ka kaluar ai p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb pijes. Ju m\u00eb pyesni: \u201cMos ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb?\u201d. Un\u00eb nuk kam nga ta di k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb pa e vizituar, porse di k\u00ebt\u00eb, q\u00eb pija, edhe po nuk qe i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, t\u00eb degradon e t\u00eb \u00e7on n\u00eb depresion. Kjo nuk ndodh menj\u00ebher\u00eb, ndodh avash-avash, por ndodh me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata t\u00eb cil\u00ebt, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb zgjedhin pun\u00ebn e dhimbjen p\u00ebr ta nd\u00ebrtuar, p\u00ebrballuar e g\u00ebzuar jet\u00ebn, zgjedhin shmangien e keqp\u00ebrshtatjen dhe kot\u00ebsin\u00eb e pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqen q\u00eb t\u2019i \u201czbutin\u201d me pije, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, me drog\u00eb. Ai e ndjen se nuk merr at\u00eb q\u00eb i duhet nga jeta e nga ju si ngroht\u00ebsi e dashuri, por nuk e kupton se \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00eb ai shkaku edhe pasoja, ndaj sillet keq edhe me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt sepse i duket sikur ata jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ndikuar nga ju, e \u00ebma e tyre. Ai nuk e \u201csheh\u201d veten n\u00eb \u201cpasqyr\u00eb\u201d dhe tani sa vjen e m\u00eb keq do t\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00ebse nuk heq dor\u00eb nga pija dhe jeta e pap\u00ebrgjegjshme q\u00eb b\u00ebn. Natyrisht, ai duhet ndihmuar p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar, duhet t\u00eb bashk\u00ebpunoni edhe me ndonj\u00eb psikolog ose doktor q\u00eb t\u2019ia thot\u00eb tro\u00e7 t\u00eb gjitha, pa e sulmuar me fjal\u00eb. Pastaj, n\u00ebse nuk do t\u00eb bindet e nuk bashk\u00ebpunon p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar, i duhet v\u00ebn\u00eb \u201ckufiri te thana\u201d, pasi nuk ka kuptuar q\u00eb nj\u00eb njeri i vet\u00ebm, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb pjes\u00eb e zgjidhjes s\u00eb halleve familjare, mund t\u2019jua nxij\u00eb jet\u00ebn ty e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. N\u00eb k\u00ebto raste, dhembshuria \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebshilltar i keq&#8230; A e dini se \u00e7\u2019b\u00ebn bleta? Meshkujt, ngaq\u00eb nuk punojn\u00eb dhe vet\u00ebm han\u00eb mjaltin, i kapin e i nxjerrin nga kosheret&#8230; K\u00ebt\u00eb e kam par\u00eb vet\u00eb n\u00eb pranver\u00eb, te nj\u00eb blet\u00ebrrit\u00ebs, se nuk e kisha besuar&#8230; Tani, n\u00eb vijim t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjes, dua t\u00eb flas m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr pijen, p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u201chall\u201d t\u00eb madh q\u00eb i ka z\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb gra me burrat e tyre; nj\u00eb hall i madh familjar.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ja se \u00e7\u2018m\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb grua, shum\u00eb e penduar q\u00eb u martua me nj\u00eb pijanec: \u201cMbaj mend se ai m\u00eb lutej me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmbla q\u00eb t\u00eb martoheshim, duke m\u2019u betuar se do t\u00eb m\u00eb donte shum\u00eb p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn. Mua m\u2019u duk se po humbisja nj\u00eb rast t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe pranova. Nuk isha n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb gjykoja p\u00ebr pasojat&#8230; Tani ai \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb xheloz, pi dhe m\u00eb keqtrajton. Edhe un\u00eb s\u2019e duroj dot m\u00eb!\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Pijanec\u00ebt asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk e ndiejn\u00eb at\u00eb gjendje shpirt\u00ebrore t\u00eb lart\u00eb e frym\u00ebzuese q\u00eb i jep njeriut dashuria. Ashp\u00ebrsia, mungesa e kritik\u00ebs ndaj vetes ose euforia, mund ta nxisin pijanecin p\u00ebr synime, p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur pasionin seksual, ndoshta pa u frenuar nga prania e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve ose e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb. T\u00eb dh\u00ebnat klinike m\u00eb t\u00eb fundit t\u00eb OMS tregojn\u00eb se nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb pakta rastet kur p\u00ebrdorimi i tepruar i alkoolit shpie n\u00eb impotenc\u00eb t\u00eb plot\u00eb seksuale. Mbi d\u00ebmin e alkoolit n\u00eb sfer\u00ebn e seksit, Imielinski dallon 4 faza:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; N\u00eb faz\u00ebn e par\u00eb, kur akoolisti sapo ka filluar \u201ckarrier\u00ebn\u201d, si rezultat i veprimit narkotizues t\u00eb alkoolit mbi koren e trurit t\u00eb madh v\u00ebrehet nj\u00ebfar\u00eb dob\u00ebsimi i p\u00ebrkohsh\u00ebm i frenuesve psikik\u00eb dhe njeriu sikur e humbet aft\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr vet\u00ebkontroll e p\u00ebr t\u00eb drejtuar reflekset e tij, gj\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u00eb shfaqet edhe n\u00eb forma t\u00eb ashpra ose t\u00eb paturpshme ndaj partneres seksuale.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; N\u00eb faz\u00ebn e dyt\u00eb, shfaqen shenjat e helmimit kronik nga keqp\u00ebrdorimi i alkoolit. K\u00ebshtu dob\u00ebsohet ndjeshm\u00ebria e qendrave nervor\u00eb n\u00eb palc\u00ebn kurrizore q\u00eb drejtojn\u00eb ereksionin dhe ejakulacionin. Si rezultat, ereksioni b\u00ebhet m\u00eb i rrall\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr arritjen e potenc\u00ebs seksuale k\u00ebrkohen ngacmues t\u00eb fort\u00eb seksual\u00eb. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, pengohet edhe ejakulacioni, i cili mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i dob\u00ebt ose mund t\u00eb mungoj\u00eb fare.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; N\u00eb faz\u00ebn e tret\u00eb, veprimtaria e t\u00eb dyja qendrave nervore dob\u00ebsohet ndjesh\u00ebm, gj\u00eb q\u00eb shfaqet para se gjithash n\u00eb munges\u00eb ereksioni. Pasioni seksual ende ruhet, por potenca dhe aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr akt seksual jan\u00eb fare t\u00eb dob\u00ebta ose mungojn\u00eb. Madje, edhe ngacmuesit e fort\u00eb seksual\u00eb mund t\u00eb mos shkaktojn\u00eb ereksion. Po edhe n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ereksioni vjen, ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i pamjaftuesh\u00ebm dhe shpesh nuk siguron mund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr kryerjen e aktit seksual. Edhe ejakulacioni (n\u00eb qoft\u00eb se ngjet) \u00ebsht\u00eb fare i dob\u00ebt. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se alkooli ka d\u00ebmtuar veprimtarin\u00eb e qendrave nervore t\u00eb ndjeshm\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb ereksionit dhe ejakulacionit n\u00eb palc\u00ebn kurrizore. Duke par\u00eb veten, fillon edhe xhelozia&#8230; Kurse n\u00eb faz\u00ebn e kart\u00ebrt, t\u00eb alkoolizimit kronik, krahas d\u00ebmtimit t\u00eb plot\u00eb t\u00eb qendrave t\u00eb ereksionit dhe ejakulacionit ndodh edhe atrofia e d\u00ebshirave seksuale, gjendje e cila quhet impotenc\u00eb e plot\u00eb alkoolike. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb faz\u00eb, njeriu nuk ka asnj\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb seksuale dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb krejt i paaft\u00eb p\u00ebr akt seksual, aft\u00ebsi e cila zakonisht nuk rikthehet m\u00eb. Paralelisht me k\u00ebto faza vepron edhe nj\u00eb kompleks i t\u00ebr\u00eb faktor\u00ebsh t\u00eb cil\u00ebt dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb d\u00ebmtojn\u00eb sh\u00ebndetin psikik e fizik duke e \u00e7uar alkolistin n\u00eb degradim psikik me pasoja sociale dhe n\u00eb s\u00ebmundje t\u00eb ndryshme somatike. Prandaj shqet\u00ebsimet seksuale q\u00eb lindin n\u00eb stadin e hersh\u00ebm t\u00eb alkolizmit, sh\u00ebrbejn\u00eb si sinjal paralajm\u00ebrues q\u00eb alkolisti t\u00eb braktis\u00eb pijen, p\u00ebr t\u00eb mos pasur pasoja t\u00eb m\u00ebtejshme. N\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebrthort\u00eb, alkolizmi kronik d\u00ebmton jo vet\u00ebm potenc\u00ebn, por t\u00ebr\u00eb jet\u00ebn n\u00eb martes\u00eb. Zakonisht, n\u00eb fillim, lindin grindjet dhe skandalet midis bashk\u00ebshort\u00ebve, t\u00eb cilat duke u shtuar, \u00e7ojn\u00eb n\u00eb humbjen e dashuris\u00eb dhe shuarjen e ndjenjave. Midis shum\u00eb konflikteve q\u00eb lindin n\u00eb familjen e alkolistit, jan\u00eb ato q\u00eb lidhen me dyshimet e s\u00ebmura, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, xhelozin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn kemi folur. N\u00eb disa raste, q\u00eb n\u00eb faz\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb alkoolizmit, pamja e sh\u00ebmtuar e burrit t\u00eb pir\u00eb e fjal\u00ebt fyese, mund t\u2019i shkaktojn\u00eb gruas traum\u00eb psikike. P\u00ebrs\u00ebritjet e p\u00ebrceptimeve pamore t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre skenave, shoq\u00ebruar edhe me t\u00eb vjella ose er\u00eb t\u00eb keqe q\u00eb fusin \u201ckrup\u00ebn\u201d dhe p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht, pamja e mjer\u00eb dhe e sh\u00ebmtuar e partnerit t\u00eb pir\u00eb, mund t\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb te gruaja munges\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebshirave seksuale ose ftoht\u00ebsi ndaj jet\u00ebs seksuale. P\u00ebrs\u00ebritja e shpesht\u00eb e k\u00ebtyre fenomeneve dhe keqtrajtimi i gruas mund t\u00eb \u00e7ojn\u00eb n\u00eb neveri ndaj burrit t\u00eb pir\u00eb, neveri q\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshij\u00eb edhe sfer\u00ebn e seksit, duke dominuar mbi t\u00eb gjitha ndjenjat e femr\u00ebs e duke i frenuar ato. K\u00ebshtu, n\u00eb vijim, gruaja nuk do t\u00eb mund ta duroj\u00eb burrin edhe kur \u00ebsht\u00eb i papir\u00eb, madje jo vet\u00ebm ashp\u00ebrsia, por edhe \u201cbut\u00ebsia\u201d euforike dhe premtimet e irritojn\u00eb at\u00eb. Vitet e fundit, alkooli \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb shkak p\u00ebr shtim t\u00eb madh t\u00eb divorceve, pastaj vijn\u00eb bixhozi, droga, papun\u00ebsia etj. Nd\u00ebrsa nga duhani jan\u00eb disiplinuar rastet me kancer, sidomos te grat\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, Dr. Jashar Demiri! Jam nj\u00eb grua nga Skrapari, shum\u00eb e rregullt, por kam hall me burrin. Q\u00ebkur jam martuar, \u00ebsht\u00eb i dhunsh\u00ebm, nuk ka as komunikim, pi e me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt sillet shum\u00eb keq. Jam shum\u00eb n\u00eb hall me t\u00eb dhe doja t\u00eb dija mos vall\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, sepse edhe n\u00eb shtrat q\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}