{"id":4322,"date":"2014-10-15T15:49:14","date_gmt":"2014-10-15T13:49:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=4322"},"modified":"2014-10-15T15:49:14","modified_gmt":"2014-10-15T13:49:14","slug":"si-te-kemi-me-shume-besim-te-vetja","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/10\/si-te-kemi-me-shume-besim-te-vetja\/","title":{"rendered":"Si t\u00eb kemi m\u00eb shum\u00eb besim te vetja?"},"content":{"rendered":"

– I nderuar Dr. Demiri, i kam ndjekur vazhdimisht p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja tek \u201cIntervista\u201d dhe m\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00eblqyer sidomos p\u00ebr pozitivitetin q\u00eb p\u00ebrcjellin, por do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb n\u00eb to t\u00eb kishte edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb humor. Gjithashtu, do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe \u00e7far\u00eb na k\u00ebshillon psikologjia e vet\u00ebbesimit? Me respekt, Era. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em><\/strong> – E nderuara Era, ju fal\u00ebnderoj p\u00ebr letr\u00ebn e bukur dhe komplimentuese. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, p\u00ebrpiqem q\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjet e mia t\u2019i shkruaj t\u00eb qarta, t\u00eb kuptueshme, bind\u00ebse dhe me sens pozitiv, edhe me pak humor. Shpresoj t\u2019i b\u00ebj edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb bukura, duke futur, si\u00e7 thoni ju, edhe pak m\u00eb shum\u00eb sens humori. Kam v\u00ebn\u00eb re q\u00eb edhe student\u00ebt, m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00eblqejn\u00eb e p\u00ebrvet\u00ebsojn\u00eb leksionet e lirshme, n\u00eb form\u00eb bashk\u00ebbisedimi e me pak sens humori, sesa ato akademike, duke u p\u00ebrpjekur t\u00eb shmang moralizimet e tepruara. Por, gjithsesi, gjella me krip\u00eb e kripa me karar. Njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb qenie interesante. Ka dhe raste kur i k\u00ebshillojm\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt aq bukur dhe me vete themi: \u201cAh, sikur t\u00eb mundja t\u2019i zbatoja edhe vet\u00eb k\u00ebto k\u00ebshilla kaq mira!\u201d. Pa t\u00eb meta nuk ka, por e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb \u00e7do dit\u00eb t\u00eb rregullojm\u00eb e \u201cmodifikojm\u00eb\u201d sjelljen e mendimet tona, drejt m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00ebs s\u00eb mundshme. Ndryshe i flitet nj\u00eb bariu e ndryshe, nj\u00eb intelektuali. Edhe ila\u00e7et bimore, bariut t\u00eb m\u00ebsuar me natyr\u00ebn i duhen n\u00eb doza m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, kurse intelektualit me nj\u00eb fizik t\u00eb dob\u00ebt, i b\u00ebjn\u00eb pun\u00eb me doza m\u00eb t\u00eb pak\u00ebta. Ju m\u00eb pyesni p\u00ebr psikologjin\u00eb e vet\u00ebbesimit. Besimi te vetja \u00ebsht\u00eb faktor i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr ecjen n\u00eb jet\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr p\u00ebrmbushjen e suksesshme e t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqshme t\u00eb saj. Dihet se t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb t\u00eb ken\u00eb vet\u00ebbesim e siguri n\u00eb vetvete, porse edhe ata m\u00eb t\u00eb sigurt\u00ebt, edhe vet\u00eb ne, psikolog\u00ebt, vuajm\u00eb edhe nga dyshimi apo r\u00ebnia e vet\u00ebbesimit e vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimit. Pra, vet\u00ebbesimi ulet e ngrihet, porse duke ditur k\u00ebshillat e m\u00ebposhtme, ne do t\u00eb dim\u00eb si ta ruajm\u00eb at\u00eb. At\u00ebhere, n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb pyetjes suaj, ja cilat jan\u00eb 20 k\u00ebshillat q\u00eb na k\u00ebshillon psikologjia e vet\u00ebbesimit:<\/p>\n

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  1. Flisni pozitivisht p\u00ebr vete… Sa m\u00eb pak fjali q\u00eb fillojn\u00eb me \u201cpse\u201d e \u201cpo sikur\u201d n\u00eb lidhje me veten e sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb tilla q\u00eb fillojn\u00eb me: \u201cSa mir\u00eb q\u00eb… (plot\u00ebsojeni)\u201d 2. \u00c7do dit\u00eb, kur zgjoheni n\u00eb m\u00ebngjes, i thoni vetes: \u201cSa mir\u00eb jam, sa mir\u00eb q\u00eb dukem, ndjehem mir\u00eb q\u00eb… (plot\u00ebsojeni)\u201d. Edhe plaku mbi 90 vje\u00e7ar i cili mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb me pampersa, t\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cO shyqyr, ja edhe nj\u00eb dit\u00eb p\u00ebr ta jetuar un\u00eb sot!\u201d. 3. Largohuni nga njer\u00ebzit e m\u00ebrzitsh\u00ebm, psikovampir\u00ebt e manipulator\u00ebt, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb ndryshe. Shoq\u00ebrohuni me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb ditur e optimist\u00eb dhe jo njer\u00ebz q\u00eb ankohen p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka (si lokomotivat me avull). 4. B\u00ebhuni miku (mikja) m\u00eb e mir\u00eb e vetes dhe mos e lini gjendjen shpirt\u00ebrore (f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e brendsh\u00ebm) n\u00eb dor\u00eb t\u00eb askujt! T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt s\u2019do t\u00eb din\u00eb ta mbajn\u00eb at\u00eb. Gjeni sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb pohime pozitive p\u00ebr veten dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebritini ato derisa t\u2019ju b\u00ebhet si zakon i mir\u00eb, si ushtrime t\u00eb mendjes. 5. Mos u merrni me t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn, shikoni p\u00ebrpara e jo prapa, veproni si bleta e cila brumbullin n\u00eb koshere, e izolon me dyll\u00eb dhe mbi t\u00eb vijon t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtoj\u00eb hojet e mjaltit. Pushoni s\u00eb qeni \u201cviktim\u00eb\u201d p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb ju kan\u00eb ndodhur dhe falni veten e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Inati ju \u201cg\u00ebrryen\u201d nga p\u00ebrbrenda. Hidhni tutje mendimet e vjetra, hartat e vjetra dhe rrobat e vjetra. Si\u00e7 pastroni dollapin, ashtu pastrojeni edhe mendjen tuaj! Nuk ecet me hartat e vjetra. Po ashtu, kujtimet e vjetra s\u2019na l\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb shijojm\u00eb t\u00eb tashmen e t\u00eb punojm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhmen. Gjeni koh\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi e p\u00ebr zbavitje. 6. Lodhuni p\u00ebr t\u2019i siguruar vetes profesion, pun\u00eb, kushte, banes\u00eb e dashuri. Pastaj, g\u00ebzohuni q\u00eb i arrit\u00ebt dhe shijojini ato. G\u00ebzojuni m\u00eb par\u00eb me ato q\u00eb keni, pastaj mendoni e punoni p\u00ebr m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Shp\u00ebrblejeni veten me respekt e dashuri. Planifikoni pun\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u2019i realizoni e jo aq sa nuk mundeni. Mos b\u00ebni krahasime. Nuk jemi t\u00eb gjith\u00eb \u201cheronj\u201d, secili sipas mund\u00ebsive te veta. Jini e vendosur n\u00eb ato q\u00eb b\u00ebni dhe mos u t\u00ebrhiqni. Pyet 24 vet\u00eb e b\u00ebj si\u00e7 di vet\u00eb. 7. Zgjidheni ushqimin dhe shijojeni at\u00eb. Ndonj\u00eb dit\u00eb hani mir\u00eb. Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb fruta, perime, pini shum\u00eb uj\u00eb. Aspak duhan e drog\u00eb, evitoni alkoolin, kafein\u00ebn, yndyrnat, krip\u00ebrat dhe ruajeni fizikun tuaj. Konsultohuni me nj\u00eb dietolog. P\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebni ose q\u00eb hani e pini, pyetni veten: \u201cA m\u00eb duhet, a m\u00eb b\u00ebn mir\u00eb?\u201d. Si\u00e7 thon\u00eb gjerman\u00ebt: truri i qet\u00eb, stomaku i leht\u00eb, k\u00ebmb\u00ebt ngroht\u00eb dhe jeto mbi 100 vjet. 8. Shprehni ato q\u00eb mendoni, k\u00ebrkoni ato q\u00eb d\u00ebshironi, \u00e7lirojeni mendjen e shpirtin. Mos mbani di\u00e7ka si \u201ckock\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb patretur n\u00eb stomak. Qoft\u00eb edhe duke qeshur, por thuajini ato q\u00eb mendoni. Qeshni sa m\u00eb shpesh dhe bota do t\u2019ju duket e mir\u00eb. 9. Mos u d\u00ebshp\u00ebroni nga rrethanat e koh\u00ebs apo ngacmuesit e jasht\u00ebm. Ato, patjet\u00ebr, ndryshojn\u00eb. Duroni e veproni dhe gjeni di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr ta k\u00ebnaqur veten, k\u00ebnaquni me \u00e7do moment t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Guxoni. Shkeleni dhimbjen, sfidoni, synoni. Merruni me nj\u00eb lloj hobi. 10. B\u00ebni komplimente. Sipas ligjit t\u00eb Karm\u00ebs, ajo q\u00eb japim, na kthehet mbrapsht, na shp\u00ebrblen. Fjala e but\u00eb p\u00ebrkul edhe shpirtin m\u00eb t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr. 11. Mos u d\u00ebshp\u00ebroni nga gabimet, por nxirrni m\u00ebsime. Faleni veten sepse t\u00eb gjith\u00eb gabojn\u00eb. Si\u00e7 thon\u00eb besimtar\u00ebt: Ashtu ka qen\u00eb caktimi i Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. 12. Shoq\u00ebrohuni me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb ditur e t\u00eb suksessh\u00ebm dhe konsultohuni me ta. Gjeni nj\u00eb psikolog t\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb ta keni \u201ctuajin\u201d. Bisedoni \u00e7do gj\u00eb me psikologun p\u00ebr ndjenjat e mendimet tuaja, si dhe p\u00ebr p\u00ebrvojat e reja q\u00eb po k\u00ebrkoni. 13. B\u00ebni programe dhe organizojeni koh\u00ebn si\u00e7 duhet. Jo vet\u00ebm pun\u00eb e zbavitje, por edhe sport, sh\u00ebtitje dhe sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb kontakte me natyr\u00ebn. Zbulojini nevojat tuaja dhe plot\u00ebsojani vetes ato. Rr\u00ebfehuni me dik\u00eb, hapuni me dik\u00eb q\u00eb jua ruan sekretet. Dilni n\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje n\u00eb mal dhe b\u00ebrtitni sa m\u00eb fort q\u00eb t\u00eb mundeni. Gjeni vende t\u00eb qeta dhe meditoni. Fjal\u00ebn \u201cproblem\u201d z\u00ebvend\u00ebsojeni me fjal\u00ebn \u201csfid\u00eb\u201d. Fati i zgjat dor\u00ebn guximtarit. B\u00ebjeni at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet hiperventilim. 14. B\u00ebhuni d\u00ebgjues t\u00eb mir\u00eb. Mbani ditar. Jini i thjesht\u00eb e i dashur. T\u00eb jeni sa m\u00eb af\u00ebr njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb dashur e t\u00eb af\u00ebrm. Sh\u00ebrbejuni atyre, qoft\u00eb edhe me pun\u00eb vullnetare. Universi do t\u2019ju jap\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb ju e mendoni dhe e k\u00ebrkoni. 15. M\u00ebsoni disa m\u00ebnyra meditimi dhe ushtrime relaksi. K\u00ebto, shoq\u00ebrojini me 10-15 minuta, dy her\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb, me frym\u00ebmarrje t\u00eb thell\u00eb, mbajtje t\u00eb gjat\u00eb t\u00eb frym\u00ebs dhe nxjerrje t\u00eb ngadalt\u00eb. Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb ai q\u00eb quhet hiperventilim e q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb, furnizim me oksigjen, derisa t\u00eb na hapet goja si p\u00ebr gjum\u00eb. 16. M\u00ebsoni t\u00eb gatuani p\u00ebr vete; mund\u00ebsit\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb pakufishme. Krijoni sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr vete, si p\u00ebr shembull, nj\u00eb k\u00ebnd biblioteke t\u00eb bukur, nj\u00eb cop\u00ebz kop\u00ebsht etj. dhe t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto projekte \u201ckreative\u201d do t\u00eb jen\u00eb pjes\u00eb e bukur e jet\u00ebs suaj. 17. B\u00ebni at\u00eb q\u00eb duhet e mos shikoni se \u00e7\u2019thuhet. Jini i sinqert\u00eb me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt e me veten, veproni n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb, madje edhe bised\u00ebn b\u00ebjeni t\u00eb sigur\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u2019ju besojn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Flisni mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, duke mos u pajtuar me llafazan\u00ebt, cinik\u00ebt, ironik\u00ebt. 18. Lexoni nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr t\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e seksin dhe b\u00ebni gj\u00ebra q\u00eb t\u00eb mrekullojn\u00eb e mahnitin. M\u00ebsohuni t\u00eb jeni dh\u00ebn\u00ebs e i p\u00ebrkushtuar n\u00eb dashuri. P\u00ebrqendrohuni n\u00eb gj\u00ebrat e vetit\u00eb e bukura t\u00eb partnerit (partneres) dhe mos jini kritikues. B\u00ebni pushime t\u00eb bukura. 19. Krijoni suksesin tuaj personal. Shkruajini 10 sukseset tuaja n\u00eb bllok dhe argumentojini ato. 20. Fal\u00ebnderoni Zotin p\u00ebr gjith\u00e7ka t\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb keni e q\u00eb keni b\u00ebr\u00eb. Urojeni veten. Jini prind i p\u00ebrkushtuar p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj, luani me ta si f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Shlyjeni edhe \u201cborxhin\u201d ndaj prind\u00ebrve, me p\u00ebrkushtim.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    – I nderuar Dr. Demiri, i kam ndjekur vazhdimisht p\u00ebrgjigjet tuaja tek \u201cIntervista\u201d dhe m\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00eblqyer sidomos p\u00ebr pozitivitetin q\u00eb p\u00ebrcjellin, por do t\u00eb doja q\u00eb n\u00eb to t\u00eb kishte edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb humor. Gjithashtu, do t\u00eb doja t\u00eb dija se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe \u00e7far\u00eb na k\u00ebshillon psikologjia e vet\u00ebbesimit? Me respekt, Era. Dr. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4322"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4322\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}