P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! N\u00eb k\u00ebto momente q\u00eb po ju shkruaj ndihem personi m\u00eb fatlum n\u00eb bot\u00eb, duke marr\u00eb parasysh vuajtjet e mia q\u00eb dikur m\u00eb dukeshin pa fund… Lot, dhimbje dhe net\u00eb t\u00eb gjata pa gjum\u00eb, ndihesha shum\u00eb e pavler\u00eb, sikur nuk isha n\u00eb nivelin e duhur, ndihesha \u201ce pastreh\u00eb\u201d shpirt\u00ebrisht. Gjith\u00e7ka filloi para pes\u00eb vjet\u00ebsh, kur isha maturante dhe m\u00eb dukej se \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb thoja ose b\u00ebja ishte e drejt\u00eb. Shoqet e mia, n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb \u201cengj\u00ebjt e mi mbrojt\u00ebs\u201d, flisnin gjithmon\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb djal\u00eb me emrin Ardi, nj\u00eb djal\u00eb i pash\u00ebm, me makin\u00eb, q\u00eb vishej bukur e q\u00eb me pamjen dhe q\u00ebndrimin e tij, t\u00ebrhiqte \u00e7dok\u00ebnd. Ai n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb ishte 22 vje\u00e7. Nj\u00ebra nga shoqet e mia, Ina, m\u00eb tha se kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri dhe madje \u00ebnd\u00ebrronte t\u00eb martohej me t\u00eb, por e nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb po ndodhte edhe me shoqen tjet\u00ebr, Lorin. Ai ishte nga ata tipa q\u00eb nuk fliste shum\u00eb, ama dukej shum\u00eb mendjemadh, sikur nuk donte t\u2019ia dinte n\u00ebse bota p\u00ebrreth tij shembej. Ishte i lumtur gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs, mendonte se mund t\u00eb kishte \u00e7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb d\u00ebshirone. Situata po b\u00ebhej e padurueshme, shoqet e mia tashm\u00eb nuk flisnin p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se p\u00ebr t\u00eb. M\u00ebsimet nuk kishin m\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, as familja, as un\u00eb. Ato ishin n\u00eb gar\u00eb se kush do ta fitonte e para dhe un\u00eb nuk u besoja vesh\u00ebve e as syve. Po ziheshin p\u00ebr nj\u00eb mashkull q\u00eb mua m\u00eb dukej i pavler\u00eb. Gj\u00ebrat po p\u00ebrkeq\u00ebsoheshin gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Ato nuk vinin m\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, nuk m\u00eb d\u00ebgjonin, nuk m\u00eb telefononin, thjesht, u zhduk\u00ebn. Kurioziteti ishte i madh p\u00ebr ta njohur k\u00ebt\u00eb mashkull, por ndoshta rast\u00ebsia apo fati, nuk donin q\u00eb rrug\u00ebt tona t\u00eb kryq\u00ebzoheshin. Gjat\u00eb asaj kohe, un\u00eb iu p\u00ebrkushtova m\u00ebsimeve, doja t\u00eb humbisja mendjen dhe ashtu veprova. \u00c7do pasdite dhe fundjavave, shkoja n\u00eb bibliotek\u00ebn e shkoll\u00ebs. M\u00eb p\u00eblqente ai vend, ishte i qet\u00eb. E gjeja pothuajse \u00e7do dit\u00eb bosh dhe ishte vendi perfekt ku gjeja qet\u00ebsin\u00eb, rrethuar nga librat. Por, nj\u00eb pasdite dimri, mb\u00ebrrita me vones\u00eb, shiu m\u00eb kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb qull dhe duart i kisha t\u00eb z\u00ebna me \u00e7ant\u00ebn e librave. U afrova te dera e bibliotek\u00ebs kur, \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb shihja? Tavolinat ishin t\u00eb z\u00ebna dhe, tek\u2013tuk mund t\u00eb gjeje ndonj\u00eb vend bosh. Sapo nxora librat nga \u00e7anta, d\u00ebgjova nj\u00eb z\u00eb: \u201cQenke lagur! Urdh\u00ebro, merre k\u00ebt\u00eb n\u00ebse t\u00eb duhet!\u201d. Ktheva kok\u00ebn dhe pash\u00eb se n\u00eb krahun tim t\u00eb djatht\u00eb ishte ulur nj\u00eb djal\u00eb dhe n\u00eb dor\u00eb mbate nj\u00eb shami q\u00eb ma kishte drejtuar, por isha aq e hutuar saq\u00eb s\u2019e vura re kush ishte. \u201cFaleminderit\u201d, i thash\u00eb me z\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt. M\u00eb kishte q\u00eblluar ta shikoja edhe her\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, gjithmon\u00eb vet\u00ebm, por nuk i kisha kushtuar v\u00ebmendje. At\u00eb dit\u00eb pata fatin t\u2019i flisja. Qeshi me cepin e buz\u00ebs dhe syt\u00eb i ktheu p\u00ebrs\u00ebri te libri q\u00eb po lexonte. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb moment, mendova se ai ishte nj\u00eb drit\u00eb n\u00eb fund t\u00eb tunelit. E vetmja gj\u00eb q\u00eb doja ishte lumturia, pasi ndihesha t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht e l\u00ebnduar dhe e l\u00ebn\u00eb pas dore nga shoqet e mia q\u00eb m\u00eb braktis\u00ebn p\u00ebr nj\u00eb mashkull. Doja t\u00eb gjeja mb\u00ebshtetje diku dhe mendoj se p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye, fati solli n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn time k\u00ebt\u00eb djal\u00eb.<\/p>\n
U b\u00ebm\u00eb shum\u00eb shok\u00eb, m\u00ebsonim bashk\u00eb, ai lexonte librat e tij filozofik\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb \u201cm\u00ebsoja\u201d me syt\u00eb drejtuar nga ai. Ishte shum\u00eb i pash\u00ebm, por nuk doja ta lejoja veten t\u00eb dashurohesha pas tij pasi kisha q\u00ebllim m\u00ebsimet, doja t\u00eb dilja sa m\u00eb mir\u00eb, ama \u00e7udia ndodhi! Ai, me thjesht\u00ebsin\u00eb e tij m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb bija n\u00eb dashuri, ta shihja bot\u00ebn me sy tjet\u00ebr dhe, p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00ebn her\u00eb, t\u00eb provoja k\u00ebt\u00eb ndjesi t\u00eb mrekullueshme, q\u00eb her\u00eb-her\u00eb nuk m\u00eb dukej reale. E si mund t\u00eb mos dashuroheshe me at\u00eb person q\u00eb m\u00eb tregoi nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb bot\u00ebs q\u00eb un\u00eb nuk e njihja? N\u00eb syt\u00eb e tij un\u00eb shikoja gjith\u00ebsin\u00eb, asgj\u00eb nuk m\u00eb plot\u00ebsonte si ai. \u00cbsht\u00eb e kot\u00eb t\u00eb thuash q\u00eb \u00ebndrrat nuk ishin t\u00eb nj\u00eb adoleshenteje. Gjumi kishte harruar t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebnte shoq\u00ebri, nuk m\u00eb interesonte m\u00eb asgj\u00eb, sikur edhe bota t\u00eb shembej. Pak nga pak dit\u00ebt kalonin dhe ne t\u00eb dy u b\u00ebm\u00eb t\u00eb pandash\u00ebm. Me pak fjal\u00eb, tashm\u00eb i p\u00ebrkisnim nj\u00ebri-tjetrit. Ai m\u00eb fliste shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb tashmen e t\u00eb ardhmen q\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrronte me mua, por kurr\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn dhe, t\u00eb them t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, kjo nuk m\u00eb interesonte shum\u00eb. 20 vjetori im po afrohej dhe d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb nj\u00eb dt\u00eblindje ndryshe nga t\u00eb tjerat, ishte shum\u00eb e madhe. Ardi ndihej shum\u00eb i lumtur pran\u00eb meje dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb fal\u00ebnderonte Zotin. Shum\u00eb shpesh p\u00ebrdorte nj\u00eb shprehje q\u00eb, sipas tij, s\u2019duhet ta harroja kurr\u00eb: \u201c\u00c7far\u00ebdo q\u00eb t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb, do t\u00eb t\u00eb dua dhe nuk do t\u00eb t\u00eb harroj kurr\u00eb!\u201d. Kjo m\u00eb vinte n\u00eb mendime, por s\u2019mendoja kurr\u00eb q\u00eb kjo shprehje do t\u00eb m\u00eb mbetej i vetmi kujtim nga ai. Dita e sh\u00ebnuar p\u00ebr mua erdhi. Mesnat\u00eb. Posht\u00eb pallatit fishekzjarret dhe k\u00ebnga e dit\u00eblindjes nuk mungonin\u2026 Lot\u00ebt nga g\u00ebzimi, nuk kishin t\u00eb ndalur. I dashuri im, n\u00eb krye t\u00eb gjith\u00e7kaje, m\u00eb priste posht\u00eb pallatit me nj\u00eb arush q\u00eb n\u00eb duar mbante buqet\u00ebn me 20 tr\u00ebndafila t\u00eb kuq dhe nj\u00eb unaz\u00eb mes tyre. Ai m\u00eb tha: \u201cFillojm\u00eb nj\u00eb jet\u00eb t\u00eb re s\u00eb bashku? E shkuara nuk ka m\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi\u201d. Un\u00eb, nuk u mendova dy her\u00eb dhe pranova. Ajo ishte nj\u00eb dit\u00eb e paharrueshme, q\u00eb mes kujtimeve t\u00eb s\u00eb shkuar\u00ebs, ishte nj\u00eb \u201ccop\u00eb jete\u201d q\u00eb m\u00eb ringjalli dhe m\u00eb hapi nj\u00eb der\u00eb t\u00eb re, p\u00ebr ta par\u00eb bot\u00ebn me tjet\u00ebr sy.
\nDashuria mes nesh rritej dita-dit\u00ebs dhe \u00e7do dit\u00eb q\u00eb kalonte, m\u00eb bindte se ai ishte personi i duhur p\u00ebr t\u00eb lidhur jet\u00ebn dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar nj\u00eb familje. \u00cbndrrat kishin arritur kulmin dhe asgj\u00eb nuk m\u00eb dukej e pamundur me forc\u00ebn, vullnetin, dashurin\u00eb dhe, mbi t\u00eb gjitha, d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb patur gjith\u00e7ka ose asgj\u00eb me t\u00eb. N\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, mund t\u00eb arrija gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb doja. Kaluan disa jav\u00eb dhe dit\u00eblindja e tij po afronte. Doja t\u00eb ishte e paharrueshme, si\u00e7 ishte e imja p\u00ebr mua. Ai kishte nd\u00ebrmend t\u00eb b\u00ebnte nj\u00eb fest\u00eb t\u00eb madhe q\u00eb t\u00eb deklaronim dhe fejes\u00ebn ton\u00eb, ose si\u00e7 thoshte, \u201cDashurin\u00eb\u201d ton\u00eb. Ai m\u00eb falte gjith\u00e7ka dhe, v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb besoja q\u00eb pas engj\u00ebllit q\u00eb njihja un\u00eb, fshihej djalli.
\nDoja q\u00eb dit\u00eblindja e tij t\u00eb ishe madh\u00ebshtore, kryevep\u00ebr dhe n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nat\u00ebs, te dritarja e tij, e veshur mir\u00eb, e parfumosur dhe e dashuruar, me dhuratat n\u00eb dor\u00eb dhe me bindjen e plot\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb isha gruaja e tij, isha drejtuar drejt sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb tij. Gjat\u00eb rrug\u00ebs m\u00ebrm\u00ebrisja me vete k\u00ebng\u00ebn me fjal\u00ebt q\u00eb do t\u2019i thoja. Gati duke k\u00ebrcyer po shihja sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e tij nga larg. E lumtur si\u00e7 isha, kisha arritur t\u00eb mos e besoja \u00e7\u2019po ndodhte! U afrova dhe trokita n\u00eb der\u00eb. \u00c7\u2019t\u00eb shihja?! I dashuri im e kishte shnd\u00ebrruar sht\u00ebpin\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb sken\u00eb romantike, plot qirinj dhe tr\u00ebndafila. U g\u00ebzova, por nj\u00eb moment reflektova…
\n\u201c\u00c7\u2019jan\u00eb k\u00ebta qirinj? Po k\u00ebta tr\u00ebndafila? Kjo tryez\u00eb e shtruar bukur, p\u00ebr mua \u00ebsht\u00eb?\u201d.
\n\u201cPo, zem\u00ebr, normal q\u00eb p\u00ebr ty, p\u00ebr k\u00eb tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb jen\u00eb?!\u201d
\n\u201cPo askush nuk e dinte q\u00eb un\u00eb do vija n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb t\u00ebnde sonte! \u00c7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb kjo fytyr\u00eb? S\u2019ke pik\u00eb gjaku n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb, je mir\u00eb? Mos m\u00eb tremb t\u00eb lutem, m\u00eb thuaj \u00e7fare ke? Di\u00e7ka nuk shkon!\u201d
\nNuk po merrja asnj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje, vet\u00ebm po pyesja dhe po flisja pa pushim si e marr\u00eb. Nuk e di pse, por m\u2019u duk sikur gjith\u00e7ka mbaroi, mori fund. M\u2019u duk sikur u zgjova nga gjumi ku kisha r\u00ebn\u00eb. Bota po m\u00eb shembej mbi kok\u00eb dhe ai nuk p\u00ebrgjigjej. I rrodhi vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb lot dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cUn\u00eb vet\u00ebm ty t\u00eb kam dashur n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb…\u201d.
\nPa mbaruar fjalia, ra dera. Vrapova drejt saj, por Ardi m\u00eb ndaloi…
\n\u201cMos guxo Ardi. Hape der\u00ebn.\u201d
\n\u201cMir\u00ebmbr\u00ebma!\u201d…
\nNj\u00eb z\u00eb i d\u00ebgjuar dhe i mir\u00ebd\u00ebgjuar. Ishte ajo, ishte shoqja ime, Ina! Kam b\u00ebrtitur sa kam patur shpirt, kam qar\u00eb, kam \u201cvrar\u00eb\u201d veten nj\u00ebqind her\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb \u00e7ast. Pse nuk vdiqa n\u00eb ato momente? Pse nuk u shemb bota? T\u00eb shembej me mua n\u00eb krye, nuk doja t\u00eb jetoja. E gjith\u00eb jeta ime mori fund, ishte ai djali i \u201cfamsh\u00ebm\u201d q\u00eb dikur m\u00eb tregonin shoqet e mia, ai q\u00eb b\u00ebnte p\u00ebr vete \u00e7do fem\u00ebr dhe nuk donte t’ia dinte p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb.
\n\u201cIna \u00e7\u2019do k\u00ebtu?\u201d, e pyeta.
\n\u201cTi, \u00e7\u2019do k\u00ebtu?\u201d, ma ktheu.
\n\u201cErdha t\u2019i uroj dit\u00eblindjen t\u00eb dashurit tim\u201d, i thash\u00eb.
\nAjo e kuptoi, un\u00eb e kuptova, t\u00eb tre e kuptuam q\u00eb mori fund. E q\u00ebllova me shuplak\u00eb n\u00eb fytyr\u00eb. Nuk doja t\u00eb mendoja q\u00eb ekzistonte nj\u00eb person i till\u00eb. Ina nuk b\u00ebnte asgj\u00eb! Ajo e dinte p\u00ebr lidhjen ton\u00eb, por mjaftonte t\u00eb ishte me Ardin dhe pranonte gjith\u00e7ka. Si mund t\u00eb ekzistojn\u00eb persona t\u00eb till\u00eb? Me ironin\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, ajo m\u00eb tha: \u201cKy \u00ebsht\u00eb djali q\u00eb t\u00eb kam folur kaq shum\u00eb n\u00eb gjimnaz\u201d dhe un\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebrmbajta dot veten, shkat\u00ebrrova \u00e7do dhurat\u00eb q\u00eb kisha bler\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb, grisa \u00e7do dedikim dhe, duke e par\u00eb n\u00eb sy, e q\u00ebllova p\u00ebrs\u00ebri. Ina u mundua t\u00eb na ndante, por un\u00eb e kapa nga krahu dhe e p\u00ebrplasa n\u00eb divan.
\n\u201cJeni b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00ebri-tjetrin\u201d, u thash\u00eb me nj\u00eb z\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnduar. P\u00ebrplasa der\u00ebn dhe dola jasht\u00eb. Ardi m\u00eb erdhi nga mbrapa t\u00eb m\u00eb shpjegonte gjith\u00e7ka, por \u00e7’m\u00eb duhej mua shpjegimi, kur \u00e7do gj\u00eb kishte marr\u00eb fund?! Ai, gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs me kishte tradhtuar sepse ujku qimen e nd\u00ebrron, por zakonin s\u2019e harron.
\nBurr\u00ebria nuk ia lejonte t\u00eb mos kishte shum\u00eb femra n\u00eb krah. Mendoja se si mund ta kishte pranuar Ina nj\u00eb lidhje t\u00eb till\u00eb, por nuk logjikoja asgj\u00eb, p\u00ebr mua, nuk kishte shp\u00ebtim. Doja t\u00eb zhdukesha! Fakti q\u00eb isha b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb lod\u00ebr e tyre m\u00eb g\u00ebrryente \u00e7do her\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe nuk dija \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb ndjeja; urrejtje apo m\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr ata njer\u00ebz t\u00eb pashpirt? Dit\u00ebt kalonin dhe un\u00eb nuk kisha d\u00ebshir\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb asgj\u00eb. Doja q\u00eb ato dit\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin muaj, vite, shekuj dhe ta harroja at\u00eb imazh. T\u2019i harroja ata njer\u00ebz, t\u00eb kthehesha p\u00ebrs\u00ebri \u201cun\u00eb\u201d. E kisha humbur ndjesin\u00eb e t\u00eb qeshurit me shpirt. Kisha humbur besimin te njer\u00ebzit. Ah, ajo dashuri e mallkuar m\u00eb shnd\u00ebrroi n\u00eb njeri t\u00eb akullt. M\u00eb \u201cvran\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb gjall\u00eb, \u00e7\u2019m\u00eb duhej jeta? M\u00eb shkat\u00ebrruan vitet m\u00eb t\u00eb bukura n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Si mund t\u00eb kem besim te nj\u00eb mashkull un\u00eb tashm\u00eb? Jo, \u00ebsht\u00eb e kot\u00eb, nuk e vuaj m\u00eb at\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjim. M\u00eb vodh\u00ebn vite jet\u00eb, por jeta vazhdoi dhe p\u00ebr mua, ret\u00eb e zeza q\u00eb po m\u00eb pengonin diellin, po zhduken dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb. Tani \u00ebsht\u00eb radha ime t\u00eb jem e lumtur. E doja marrezisht at\u00eb djal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjeu, ishte nj\u00eb dashuri pa kushte, prandaj sot nuk besoj as te hija ime. Shum\u00eb persona mund t\u00eb m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb, por kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb historia ime, \u00e7’t\u00eb b\u00ebj me t\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7se t\u00eb qaj, t\u00eb kujtoj dhe t\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrroj sikur di\u00e7ka do ndryshoj\u00eb nga ajo dit\u00eblindje q\u00eb ndryshoi gjith\u00e7ka?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje! N\u00eb k\u00ebto momente q\u00eb po ju shkruaj ndihem personi m\u00eb fatlum n\u00eb bot\u00eb, duke marr\u00eb parasysh vuajtjet e mia q\u00eb dikur m\u00eb dukeshin pa fund… Lot, dhimbje dhe net\u00eb t\u00eb gjata pa gjum\u00eb, ndihesha shum\u00eb e pavler\u00eb, sikur nuk isha n\u00eb nivelin e duhur, ndihesha \u201ce pastreh\u00eb\u201d shpirt\u00ebrisht. Gjith\u00e7ka filloi para pes\u00eb vjet\u00ebsh, kur […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4278\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}