T\u00eb takohesh me familjen p\u00ebr raste: Disa kan\u00eb frik\u00eb nga kjo, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb e presin gjith\u00eb g\u00ebzim, sepse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb kurr\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u00eb jesh vetvetja n\u00eb prani t\u00eb klanit t\u00ebnd. Historia familjare, prap\u00ebsit\u00eb ose konfliktet e m\u00ebdha e detyrojn\u00eb shpesh secilin prej nesh t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim t\u00eb caktuar. Kjo sjellje \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithashtu ajo q\u00eb presin prej nesh prind\u00ebrit, v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit, motrat apo f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Duke e p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur at\u00eb pa pushim, t\u00eb krijohet p\u00ebrshtypja se nuk varet nga vullneti yn\u00eb. Q\u00ebllimi i k\u00ebtij testi \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u2019ju ndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb zbuloni personazhin tuaj n\u00eb gjirin e grupit familjar. \u00c7far\u00eb roli luani ju dhe p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb arsyesh? P\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, p\u00ebrgjigjjuni spontanisht pyetjeve t\u00eb m\u00ebposhtme…<\/p>\n
1. Xhaxhai juaj dhe familja e tij ftojn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dark\u00eb familjen tuaj, me gjith\u00eb tensionet e krijuara mes disa pjes\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb dy klaneve respektive:
\na. N\u00ebse secili nuk v\u00eb n\u00eb pun\u00eb vullnetin e tij t\u00eb mir\u00eb, si mund t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb mir\u00eb nj\u00eb familje?
\nb. Sa keq! Ju do t\u00eb jeni n\u00eb Gjirokast\u00ebr pik\u00ebrisht at\u00eb dit\u00eb!
\nc. Nuk do ta humbisnit nj\u00eb rast t\u00eb till\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb konfirmuar d\u00ebshtimin p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin i keni paralajm\u00ebruar!
\nd. Kjo do t\u2019ju jap\u00eb mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb zbaviteni dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebni thashetheme!<\/p>\n
2. P\u00ebrcaktimi juaj p\u00ebr Krishtlindjen n\u00eb familje:
\na. Nj\u00eb rast i mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb forcuar lidhjet familjare
\nb. Nj\u00eb detyrim q\u00eb duhet evituar
\nc. Nj\u00eb mbledhje n\u00eb familje, ku rigjen gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat klane
\nd. Nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngr\u00ebn\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb dhurata!<\/p>\n
3. M\u00ebsoni se v\u00ebllai (motra) juaj sapo \u00ebsht\u00eb z\u00ebn\u00eb me baban\u00eb:
\na. P\u00ebrpiqeni t\u00eb qet\u00ebsoni shpirtrat, q\u00eb ata t\u00eb rifillojn\u00eb dialogun
\nb. \u00cbsht\u00eb problemi i tyre, le ta zgjidhin vet\u00eb.
\nc. I telefononi fshehurazi mamas\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb vesh m\u00eb shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra.
\nd. E ftoni baban\u00eb t\u00eb hani bashk\u00eb dark\u00eb n\u00eb restorant…<\/p>\n
4. Momenti ideal p\u00ebr t\u2019i prezantuar t\u00eb dashurin\/\u00ebn tuaj familjes suaj:
\na. Gjat\u00eb nj\u00eb dreke ku jan\u00eb mbledhur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb.
\nb. Nj\u00eb kalim rrufe para se t\u00eb merrni avionin apo trenin.
\nc. N\u00eb restorant, n\u00eb nj\u00eb terren neutral, vet\u00ebm me prind\u00ebrit.
\nd. Gjat\u00eb nj\u00eb feste t\u00eb madhe q\u00eb keni organizuar p\u00ebr dit\u00eblindjen tuaj.<\/p>\n
5. Q\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb familje gj\u00ebrat t\u00eb shkojn\u00eb mir\u00eb, duhet:
\na. T\u00eb dish t\u2019u p\u00ebrshtatesh t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve.
\nb. T\u00eb dish t\u00eb ruash dhe t\u00eb respektosh intimitetin e jet\u00ebn e secilit.
\nc. T\u00eb mund t\u00eb thuash \u00e7far\u00eb mendon, pa u refuzuar
\nd. T\u00eb evitosh konfliktet<\/p>\n
6. Ju prezantojn\u00eb me nj\u00eb kush\u00ebri t\u00eb larg\u00ebt, me t\u00eb cilin sapo keni rilidhur kontaktet:
\na. Ju filloni t\u00eb diskutoni me t\u00eb dhe mundoheni ta integroni n\u00eb gjirin e fisit
\nb. E shihni nga larg, pastaj shk\u00ebmbeni disa fjal\u00eb.
\nc. E shihni me nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim paksa tall\u00ebs dhe mundoheni ta ngacmoni pak.
\nd. E merrni ve\u00e7mas duke i th\u00ebn\u00eb se familja juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb pak e ve\u00e7ant\u00eb dhe i propozoni t\u00eb takoheni jasht\u00eb k\u00ebtij kuadri.<\/p>\n
7. P\u00ebr t\u2019ia dal\u00eb mban\u00eb n\u00eb familje, duhet t\u00eb jesh mbi t\u00eb gjitha:
\na. Tolerant
\nb. I pavarur
\nc. Vrojtues
\nd. Dinak<\/p>\n
8. Si mendoni se do t\u00eb ishte familja juaj pa ju:
\na. Do t\u00eb rrezikonte t\u00eb shkat\u00ebrrohej
\nb. Do t\u00eb b\u00ebnte edhe pa ju
\nc. Do t\u2019i mungonte mund\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u2019i vler\u00ebsuar drejt gj\u00ebrat
\nd. Nuk do t\u00eb ishte e nj\u00ebjta<\/p>\n
9. Ajo q\u00eb ju bezdis nganj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb familje \u00ebsht\u00eb se ju keni ndjesin\u00eb sikur jeni:
\na. I pafuqish\u00ebm
\nb. I pakuptuar
\nc. I manipuluar
\nd. Shum\u00eb i admiruar<\/p>\n
10. Ju takoheni me familjen tuaj:
\na. Sa m\u00eb shpesh t\u00eb mundeni dhe, n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve, me nism\u00ebn tuaj!
\nb. Sa m\u00eb rrall\u00eb t\u00eb mundeni!
\nc. Shpesh, megjith\u00ebse p\u00ebr t\u2019i kritikuar!
\nd. Rregullisht, kur ju ftojn\u00eb!<\/p>\n
11. Familja q\u00eb ju do t\u00eb krijoni (ose keni krijuar) do t\u00eb ket\u00eb (ka) k\u00ebt\u00eb deviz\u00eb:
\na. \u201cNj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb!\u201d
\nb. \u201cSecili b\u00ebn at\u00eb q\u00eb i p\u00eblqen!\u201d
\nc. \u201cK\u00ebnaq\u00ebsia e fjal\u00ebve\u201d.
\nd. \u201cDuhet t\u00eb ruash qet\u00ebsin\u00eb, t\u00eb jesh zen\u201d<\/p>\n
12. Kur ishit i vog\u00ebl dhe prind\u00ebrit vinin p\u00ebr t\u2019ju marr\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb:
\na. U thonit gjith\u00eb notat e mira q\u00eb kishit marr\u00eb!
\nb. P\u00ebrpiqeshit t\u00eb ecnit pas tyre!
\nc. U shkelnit syrin shok\u00ebve!
\nd. Buz\u00ebqeshnit n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb engj\u00ebllore, q\u00eb t\u2019ju blinin ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb!<\/p>\n
Rezultatet
\nN\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje a. Keni shpirt t\u00eb gjer\u00eb
\nN\u00eb syt\u00eb tuaj, nocioni i familjes ka di\u00e7ka t\u00eb shenjt\u00eb dhe t\u00eb \u00e7muar. Ju do t\u00eb p\u00ebrdornit gjith\u00eb energjin\u00eb tuaj q\u00eb gj\u00ebrat t\u00eb shkonin n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb harmonishme, t\u00eb kishte paqe dhe secili nga an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e tribus\u00eb suaj t\u00eb ishte i lumtur. Do t\u00eb merrnit me d\u00ebshir\u00eb rolin e nj\u00eb psikologu pa diplom\u00eb dhe shpirtgjer\u00eb, gati p\u00ebr t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetur, d\u00ebgjuar, inkurajuar, por edhe p\u00ebr t\u2019u sakrifikuar n\u00ebse lind nevoja\u2026 p\u00ebr t\u00eb mir\u00ebn e t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve! Duke iu p\u00ebrgjigjur edhe k\u00ebrkes\u00ebs m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, ju do t\u00eb merrnit, n\u00ebse nevojitet, rolin e nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsit, duke u p\u00ebrjekur t\u00eb pajtoni t\u00eb zem\u00ebruarit, t\u00eb zbusni tensionet, t\u2019u jepni edhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve pak nga ky \u201cshpirt i familjes\u201d, t\u00eb cilin e keni kaq p\u00ebr zem\u00ebr\u2026 Tensionet familjare, edhe kur nuk keni lidhje me to, ju shqet\u00ebsojn\u00eb thell\u00ebsisht. E keni t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb mos ndjeheni i\/e prekur, bile p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs dhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb, ndjeheni i\/e detyruar p\u00ebr t\u2019i \u201criparuar\u201d. E keni t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb mos i p\u00ebrgjigjeni thirrjes p\u00ebr ndihm\u00eb, ose t\u00eb mos mundoheni t\u00eb zgjidhni nj\u00eb grindje. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, ndjeheni fajtor\/e dhe si nj\u00eb njeri q\u00eb u b\u00ebn bisht p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsive\u2026<\/p>\n
N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje b. Ndjeheni si i\/e huaj
\nAh, familja! Ky vend i privilegjuar shqet\u00ebsimesh, konfliktesh dhe tensionesh! K\u00ebta njer\u00ebz q\u00eb duan q\u00eb t\u00eb integroheni, t\u00eb ndani me ta ritualet dhe festat, por edhe z\u00ebnkat e tyre\u2026 ata q\u00eb ju qortojn\u00eb bile p\u00ebr mungesat tuaja dhe u vjen keq p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb! \u00cbsht\u00eb e qart\u00eb se ju, para s\u00eb gjithash, e konsideroni familjen si vend problemesh! Historit\u00eb dhe problemet e secilit prej jush nuk ju kan\u00eb pasionuar kurr\u00eb, bile kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb t\u2019ju irritojn\u00eb. I p\u00ebrjetoni m\u00eb shum\u00eb me nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb detyrimi dhe refuzimi. Jeta ju ka b\u00ebr\u00eb ta perceptoni familjen tuaj si nj\u00eb bashk\u00ebsi q\u00eb ju mbyt, ju pengon t\u00eb zhvilloheni, ju manipulon, ju merr energjit\u00eb dhe ju nuk ndjeni asnj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb p\u00ebrkat\u00ebsie kundrejt saj. Ju keni vepruar n\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb largoheni (progresivisht ose brutalisht), duke k\u00ebrkuar pavar\u00ebsin\u00eb tuaj dhe duke krijuar \u201cnj\u00eb distanc\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme\u201d mes saj dhe jush. Ka qen\u00eb mbase m\u00ebnyra juaj p\u00ebr t\u2019u mbrojtur, p\u00ebr t\u00eb krijuar vendin tuaj, nj\u00eb vend intim p\u00ebr ta mbrojtur dhe ruajtur. Megjith\u00ebse nganj\u00ebher\u00eb, brenda jush ju vjen keq q\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrfitoni nga lumturia e familjeve t\u00eb lumtura dhe t\u00eb bashkuara, nuk arrini t\u00eb rregulloni gj\u00ebrat dhe t\u00eb rikrijoni k\u00ebto lidhje, pasi ju mungon motivimi, t\u00eb shtyr\u00eb mbase nga nj\u00eb e shkuar kaotike ose e r\u00ebnd\u00eb, apo nga \u201cndryshkja\u201d e lidhjeve familjare. Ju doni t\u2019ia kurseni vetes vuajtjen q\u00eb do t\u00eb shkaktonte nj\u00eb tentativ\u00eb shpjegimesh e d\u00ebshtuar. Megjithat\u00eb, marrja p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr e k\u00ebtij rreziku do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb kap\u00ebsh rastin p\u00ebr t\u00eb rilidhur dialogun dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb rifilluar mbi baza t\u00eb reja.<\/p>\n
N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje c. Ju luani rolin e avokatit t\u00eb djallit
\nN\u00eb gjirin e familjes suaj, ju merrni p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr me d\u00ebshir\u00eb rolin e avokatit t\u00eb djallit: Ju paralajm\u00ebroni, kund\u00ebrshtoni, provokoni, me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, luani rolin e kund\u00ebshtarit mjaft aktiv\u2026 Megjith\u00ebse i denigroni rregullisht faktet dhe gjestet e familjes suaj dhe manifestoni mosp\u00eblqimin tuaj, nuk preferoni t\u00eb largoheni apo t\u00eb distancoheni. P\u00ebrkundrazi, duket se juve ju p\u00eblqen t\u00eb luani k\u00ebt\u00eb rol t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb dhe kontradiktor: Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb identiteti juaj n\u00eb gjirin e grupit m\u00ebnyra juaj p\u00ebr t\u2019u shfaqur. Refuzoni shpesh t\u00eb merrni pjes\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn familjare, megjithat\u00eb, b\u00ebheni gjithmon\u00eb pjes\u00eb e saj, mbase nganj\u00ebher\u00eb me nj\u00eb n\u00ebnqeshje p\u00ebrbuz\u00ebse! K\u00ebshtu, preferoni t\u00eb mos ju kuptojn\u00eb, t\u2019ju refuzojn\u00eb mendimet, ose nganj\u00ebher\u00eb edhe t\u00eb luani rolin e deles s\u00eb zez\u00eb (t\u00eb atij q\u00eb ankohet gjithmon\u00eb), sesa t\u00eb prisni urat ose t\u00eb gjeni vendin tuaj duke u imponuar n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n
N\u00ebse keni m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje d. Ju luani rolin e kameleonit
\nN\u00ebse ju thon\u00eb \u201cfamilja\u201d, ju mendoni me d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr personat e ndrysh\u00ebm q\u00eb e p\u00ebrb\u00ebjn\u00eb at\u00eb, m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa p\u00ebr qeliz\u00ebn e familjes n\u00eb vetvete. P\u00ebr t\u00eb ruajtur nj\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebndsh\u00ebm n\u00eb t\u00eb, keni m\u00ebsuar shpejt se \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb punosh p\u00ebr \u00e7do lidhje n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, sesa me gjith\u00eb grupin. Ju p\u00ebrpiqeni t\u2019i p\u00eblqeni gjithsecilit duke u p\u00ebrshtatur, duke luajtur loj\u00ebn e pritur prej tjetrit dhe duke u kujdesur p\u00ebr imazhin e pjes\u00ebtarit t\u00eb familjes q\u00eb \u201ct\u00eb gjith\u00eb e adhurojn\u00eb\u201d! Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, luani n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrkryer rolin e kameleonit! Nj\u00ebri ju thon\u00eb se babai \u00ebsht\u00eb nevrik dhe i paduruesh\u00ebm, ju e aprovoni. N\u00ebse tjetri ju thot\u00eb se ai \u00ebsht\u00eb i mrekulluesh\u00ebm dhe parashikues, ju e aprovoni gjithashtu! Ju \u201crr\u00ebshqisni\u201d k\u00ebshtu nga nj\u00ebri mendim n\u00eb tjetrin q\u00eb t\u00eb ruani statusin tuaj prej t\u00eb priviligjuari\/e. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb mik me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, ekziston d\u00ebshira sekrete p\u00ebr t\u00eb ruajtur avantazhet q\u00eb secili prej tyre mund t\u2019ju sjell\u00eb: Sht\u00ebpin\u00eb n\u00eb plazh, ftes\u00eb pushimesh, dhurata, preferenc\u00eb, admirim, etj. P\u00ebr t\u00eb ushqyer rolin tuaj, luani pra me d\u00ebshir\u00eb rolin e josh\u00ebsit\/es, yllit t\u00eb familjes, atij\/asaj t\u00eb cilin e kan\u00eb zili, pasi p\u00ebr t\u00eb, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb flasin mir\u00eb! Dini gjithashtu t\u00eb ruani misterin p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn tuaj, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqni v\u00ebmendjen, kureshtjen dhe d\u00ebshir\u00ebn e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, ju p\u00eblqen t\u00eb jeni i\/e k\u00ebrkuar! Dini gjithashtu t\u00eb krijoni aleanca t\u00eb mjaftueshme n\u00ebse ndonj\u00ebri do t\u00eb mundohej t\u2019ju zhvler\u00ebsonte n\u00eb syt\u00eb e tjetrit. Fjal\u00ebt e tij\/saj nuk do t\u00eb kishin asnj\u00eb pesh\u00eb, thjesht, do t\u00eb thyente turinjt\u00eb!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
T\u00eb takohesh me familjen p\u00ebr raste: Disa kan\u00eb frik\u00eb nga kjo, t\u00eb tjer\u00eb e presin gjith\u00eb g\u00ebzim, sepse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb kurr\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u00eb jesh vetvetja n\u00eb prani t\u00eb klanit t\u00ebnd. Historia familjare, prap\u00ebsit\u00eb ose konfliktet e m\u00ebdha e detyrojn\u00eb shpesh secilin prej nesh t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim t\u00eb caktuar. Kjo sjellje \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithashtu ajo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[304],"class_list":["post-2771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-test","tag-test-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2771"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}