Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb grua 55 vje\u00e7are. Dua t\u2019ju rr\u00ebfej historin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs sime, q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nj\u00eb histori shum\u00eb e komplikuar, s\u00eb cil\u00ebs nuk po di t\u2019i jap zgjidhje. Jeta ime deri tani ka qen\u00eb nj\u00eb ferr i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Nuk thon\u00eb kot se fati i femr\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb lotari, o fiton, o humbet. Mua, p\u00ebr fat t\u00eb keq, m\u00eb q\u00eblloi kjo e dyta. Q\u00ebkur isha vajz\u00eb, im at\u00eb m\u00eb fejoi me mbles\u00ebri me nj\u00eb djal\u00eb nga Tirana. Im at\u00eb ishte shok i ngusht\u00eb me vjehrrin tim dhe ata na mund\u00ebsuan martes\u00ebn me bashk\u00ebshortin tim. N\u00eb koh\u00ebn kur un\u00eb u martova, kuptova se im shoq nuk e p\u00eblqente shum\u00eb pun\u00ebn, por at\u00ebhere ishte sistem tjet\u00ebr dhe ai ishte i detyruar t\u00eb punonte se nuk kishte rrug\u00ebdalje tjet\u00ebr. Ai punonte mekanik, kurse un\u00eb punoja banakiere n\u00eb nj\u00eb lokal k\u00ebtu n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Deri n\u00eb periudh\u00ebn e nd\u00ebrrimit t\u00eb sistemit, me th\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb se shkonim keq; kishim z\u00ebnka, por si \u00e7do \u00e7ift; ishin z\u00ebnka kalimtare, q\u00eb nuk t\u00eb mbesin n\u00eb kujtes\u00eb. Kishim dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe b\u00ebnim nj\u00eb jet\u00eb normale. Me ndryshimin e klas\u00ebs politike n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, un\u00eb dhe im shoq mbet\u00ebm t\u00eb papun\u00eb dhe k\u00ebtu filluan edhe kontradiktat e para mes nesh. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt ishin n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn m\u00eb delikate dhe donin t\u00eb visheshin e ushqeheshin mir\u00eb. Im shoq, n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb, filloi pun\u00eb si taksist dhe n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi na sillte lek sa p\u00ebr buk\u00eb. Lek\u00ebt e tjera shkonte dhe i linte n\u00eb kazinot\u00eb e Tiran\u00ebs. Kjo ka qen\u00eb edhe koha kur filloi konflikti n\u00eb familjen ton\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt u rrit\u00ebn dhe donin t\u00eb shkonin n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, por nga i ati nuk kishin asnj\u00eb lloj ndihme.
\nNj\u00eb dit\u00eb, komshia ime, q\u00eb e kisha edhe shoqe t\u00eb ngusht\u00eb, m\u00eb tha se mund t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonte p\u00ebr t\u2019i gjetur zgjidhje k\u00ebtij halli q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte z\u00ebn\u00eb. Ajo m\u00eb tregoi p\u00ebr nj\u00eb hoxh\u00eb, i cili kishte nj\u00eb zyr\u00eb, ku gjenin shp\u00ebtim shum\u00eb hallexhinj. Un\u00eb, n\u00eb fakt, nuk besoja shum\u00eb te k\u00ebto gj\u00ebra. E dija se shum\u00eb nga k\u00ebta q\u00eb e quajn\u00eb veten hoxhallar\u00eb dhe marrin lek p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb, nuk ndjekin fen\u00eb sepse feja nuk i k\u00ebshillon nuskat e k\u00ebsi gj\u00ebrash… I thash\u00eb shoqes se un\u00eb nuk kisha shkuar asnj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr hoxhallar\u00eb dhe kisha shum\u00eb frik\u00eb t\u00eb shkoja atje, por ajo m\u00eb tha se n\u00eb fillim do shoq\u00ebroja at\u00eb, pasi ajo kishte nj\u00eb problem me djalin q\u00eb kish ngelur n\u00eb nj\u00eb provim dhe ai e kishte ndihmuar gjithmon\u00eb p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tilla. K\u00ebshtu b\u00ebm\u00eb, shkuam te dyja. V\u00ebrtet shoqja nuk m\u00eb kishe g\u00ebnjyer, atje kishte shum\u00eb radh\u00eb. Ne prit\u00ebm derisa erdhi radha jon\u00eb dhe, kur hym\u00eb brenda, shoqja i puthi dor\u00ebn, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb mbeta si e ngrir\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb. P\u00ebrgjigjja e tij ishte:
\n\u201cBesoj se ke ardhur p\u00ebr shoqen, se kjo paska nj\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh!\u201d. Un\u00eb u shokova nga k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb, kurse shoqja i shpjegoi se her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb shkonim p\u00ebr mua. Pash\u00eb se ai i dha di\u00e7ka t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtjell\u00eb n\u00eb let\u00ebr dhe i tha: \u201cDo t\u2019ia v\u00ebsh n\u00ebn jast\u00ebk djalit dhe provimin e ka t\u00eb marr\u00eb\u201d. Mbas k\u00ebsaj, djali e mori provimin dhe un\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00ebn her\u00eb, shkova tek ai dhe i tregova p\u00ebr problemin tim. N\u00eb fillim i thash\u00eb se doja t\u00eb b\u00ebnte di\u00e7ka q\u00eb t\u00eb mos kisha m\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie intime me burrin tim. K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e d\u00ebshiroja t\u00eb par\u00ebn, pasi ai m\u00eb rrihte dhe n\u00eb mbr\u00ebmje k\u00ebrkonte q\u00eb t\u00eb kryenim marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale. Nuk kishte gj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebshtir\u00eb, un\u00eb e urreja burrin tim, me t\u00eb rrija vet\u00ebm nga frika, pasi ai m\u00eb kish k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuar q\u00eb, n\u00ebse e lija, do t\u00eb m\u00eb vriste. Un\u00eb nuk e di se \u00e7far\u00eb b\u00ebri hoxha dhe nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen t\u00eb tregoj t\u00eb tilla detaje, por ajo q\u00eb un\u00eb doja, u realizua. Mbas nj\u00eb jave e deri m\u00eb sot, q\u00eb kan\u00eb kaluar dy vjet, nuk ka patur m\u00eb intimitet midis nesh. Un\u00eb mbaja ndonj\u00eb lek q\u00eb m\u00eb jepnin njer\u00ebzit e mi dhe ia lija hoxh\u00ebs q\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonte. E di q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ju q\u00eb po lexoni historin\u00eb time do mendoni se po ju g\u00ebnjej, por nuk kam asnj\u00eb arsye q\u00eb t\u2019i sajoj t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto. Mund t\u00eb them se ai me mua b\u00ebri mrekullira. N\u00eb nj\u00ebfar\u00eb m\u00ebnyre, ai ishte shp\u00ebtimtari i vet\u00ebm q\u00eb m\u00eb kishte mbetur n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb. Ai nuk ka mundur akoma t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb dua n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, t\u2019i heq\u00eb vesin tim shoqi, pra, loj\u00ebrat e fatit, por ka b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb burri im t\u00eb mos ushtroj\u00eb dhun\u00eb ndaj meje dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Po k\u00ebshtu, ka b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohet p\u00ebr ne dhe t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn na l\u00eb lek p\u00ebr t\u00eb ngr\u00ebn\u00eb buk\u00eb. Kaq sa ai ka b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr mua, ia di shum\u00eb p\u00ebr nder.
\nMua m\u00eb dukej sikur duke shkuar te hoxha, ai ndikonte p\u00ebr mir\u00eb tek un\u00eb. N\u00eb fillim shkoja nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb muaj, m\u00eb pas po shkoja nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb jav\u00eb e, kur kisha lek, shkoja edhe disa her\u00eb n\u00eb jav\u00eb. I lutesha q\u00eb ai t\u00eb b\u00ebnte di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr burrin tim, q\u00eb t\u00eb hiqte dor\u00eb nga vesi i tij, por e dini \u00e7\u2019m\u00eb ndodhi nj\u00eb dit\u00eb? Ai m\u00eb dha nj\u00eb let\u00ebr dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cKur t\u00eb shkosh n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, vepro sipas porosive t\u00eb mia dhe gjith\u00e7ka do t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb mir\u00eb\u201d.
\nShkova n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe nga lumturia q\u00eb kisha, hapa me shpejt\u00ebsi letr\u00ebn, po \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb shikoja? Brenda saj ishte nj\u00eb kartolin\u00eb ku shkruhej: \u201cN\u00ebse ti do t\u00eb b\u00ebhesh e imja, un\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb fal gjith\u00eb lumturin\u00eb e k\u00ebsaj bote!\u201d. Nuk mund t\u2019jua shpjegoj me fjal\u00eb se si u ndjeva ato \u00e7aste; zemr\u00ebn e ndjeja t\u00eb m\u00eb rrihte nga frika. Me vete, thash\u00eb: \u201cBobo, \u00e7\u2019m\u00eb gjeti! \u00c7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj tani?\u201d. Q\u00eb t\u00eb shkoja me at\u00eb njeri nuk b\u00ebhej fjal\u00eb; ai ishte rreth t\u00eb shtat\u00ebdhjetave, me nj\u00eb mjek\u00ebr t\u00eb gjat\u00eb q\u00eb i shkonte deri n\u00eb kraharor. Nuk e kuptoja pse m\u00eb donte pik\u00ebrisht mua! Mos ndoshta ai shkonte me t\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb q\u00eb kishin halle si timin? Atje shkonin gra e vajza t\u00eb reja, por un\u00eb nuk doja ta besoja k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb. At\u00eb dit\u00eb nuk m\u00eb zuri gjumi dhe e vendosa q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb shkoja m\u00eb atje. Kjo q\u00eb kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb \u00e7menduri, sepse un\u00eb, e konsideroja njeriun e Zotit dhe nuk mund t\u00eb ngat\u00ebrroja ndjenjat m\u00eb problemet e hallet q\u00eb kisha un\u00eb, por q\u00eb prej asaj dite, shpirti im nuk gjeti qet\u00ebsi. U b\u00ebra gati dy jav\u00eb pa shkuar te hoxha dhe as nuk doja t\u00eb shkoja m\u00eb atje. Gj\u00ebrat i kisha mir\u00eb dhe burri im punonte. V\u00ebrtet nuk na linte lek n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn na blinte ushqimet, paguante dritat e ujin dhe mua m\u00eb kishte \u00e7uar n\u00eb nj\u00eb kurs p\u00ebr rrobaqep\u00ebse. Ai nuk na keqtrajtonte dhe, me sa halle kisha kaluar un\u00eb, t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto m\u00eb dukeshin gj\u00ebra luksi. Vajza dhe djali shkuan n\u00eb Itali me burs\u00eb, ata punojn\u00eb e studiojn\u00eb atje dhe e heqin vet\u00eb hallin e tyre.
\nPo ju thoja m\u00eb sip\u00ebr se kishin kaluar dy jav\u00eb dhe nuk kisha shkuar m\u00eb te hoxha, por e dini \u00e7\u2019m\u00eb ndodhi? N\u00eb telefon m\u00eb erdhi nj\u00eb mesazh pa num\u00ebr, ku shkruhej \u201cT\u00eb pres t\u00eb vish!\u201d. Menj\u00ebher\u00eb m\u00eb vajti mendja se do t\u00eb ishte ai, por un\u00eb prap\u00eb nuk u b\u00ebra e gjall\u00eb. Kishte kaluar nj\u00eb muaj kur im shoq m\u00eb erdhi n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi i m\u00ebrzitur, se kishte l\u00ebn\u00eb dy milion lek n\u00eb loj\u00ebrat e fatit. Filloi p\u00ebrs\u00ebri sherri. Ai m\u00eb thoshte: \u201cThuaju f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb m\u00eb d\u00ebrgojn\u00eb lek q\u00eb t\u00eb laj borxhet\u201d dhe m\u00eb q\u00eblloi me sa fuqi kishte, por e durova. Mbas nj\u00eb jave me mori djali dhe m\u00eb tha se kishte ngelur n\u00eb dy provime. M\u00eb pas m\u00eb mori vajza dhe m\u00eb tha se ishte mbyllur supermarketi ku ajo punonte. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto trazime t\u00eb jet\u00ebs sime, mbas dy muajsh qet\u00ebsi, ma mori mendja se m\u2019i kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb ai, hoxha, i cili si duket ishte m\u00ebsuar t\u00eb shkonte me t\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb q\u00eb i donte qejfi. Mesazhet e tij pa num\u00ebr filluan t\u00eb m\u00eb persekutonin ngado q\u00eb shkoja. Ato mesazhe t\u00eb linin t\u00eb kuptoje se \u201cn\u00ebse nuk b\u00ebhesh e imja k\u00ebshtu do t\u00eb t\u00eb ec\u00eb jeta, me halle dhe probleme\u201d. E vendosa q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb shkoja, do t\u2019i p\u00ebrballoja vet\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha. Kisha bler\u00eb nj\u00eb makin\u00eb qep\u00ebse dhe punoja gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb m\u00eb sillnin shoqet. K\u00ebshtu po fitoja pak lek\u00eb dhe nuk ia tregoja burrit, por gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera po m\u00eb ndodhnin, nuk m\u00eb zinte gjumi fare nat\u00ebn, ai m\u00eb shfaqej para syve, kishte momente kur ndjeja dridhje t\u00eb trupit, ose ndjeja sikur nj\u00eb mashkull m\u00eb ledhatonte t\u00eb gjith\u00eb trupin. Kisha filluar t\u00eb ndjeja k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi, pa asnj\u00eb lloj shkaku. Tashm\u00eb kam mbetur n\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00ebkryq q\u00eb nuk e di se si do t\u2019i jap zgjidhje. Prania e hoxh\u00ebs m\u00eb persekuton n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha m\u00ebnyrat e mundshme. Ai nuk m\u2019i thot\u00eb gj\u00ebrat n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb, por me n\u00ebnkuptime. Kaq sa po kaloj, do b\u00ebj si do b\u00ebj e do ta p\u00ebrballoj, por kam shum\u00eb frik\u00eb se ai mund t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnoj\u00eb me jet\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve sepse \u00e7menduria e tij nuk njeh kufij. Ai me mesazhet e tij m\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb kuptoj se me t\u00eb nuk ka shakara, ai n\u00eb pun\u00ebn e tij \u00ebsht\u00eb aq i fort\u00eb sa mund t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i thot\u00eb mendja p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur at\u00eb q\u00eb do. Deri tani, me t\u00eb kam qen\u00eb shum\u00eb korrekte, por nuk e di sa do t\u00eb vazhdoj\u00eb e gjith\u00eb kjo, pasi ai \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnim shum\u00eb serioz p\u00ebr mua, q\u00eb nuk e di se sa do ta p\u00ebrballoj. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, un\u00eb nuk e di se kujt t\u2019ia them k\u00ebt\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh q\u00eb m\u00eb ka r\u00ebn\u00eb, pasi p\u00ebr t\u00eb nuk kam as edhe nj\u00eb prov\u00eb q\u00eb ta denoncoj. Mesazhet e tij m\u00eb vijn\u00eb pa num\u00ebr n\u00eb telefon.
\nNuk thon\u00eb kot \u201cperi k\u00ebputet, atje ku \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i dob\u00ebt\u201d. K\u00ebshtu po ndodh edhe me mua e ndoshta dhe me shum\u00eb gra t\u00eb tjera, t\u00eb cilat jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb viktim\u00eb e atij hoxhe q\u00eb njohurit\u00eb dhe vetit\u00eb q\u00eb ka, i p\u00ebrdor p\u00ebr q\u00ebllime p\u00ebrfitimi dhe q\u00eb jam shum\u00eb e bindur se nuk i sh\u00ebrben Zotit, por dikujt tjet\u00ebr… O Zot i madh, e di q\u00eb kam gabuar q\u00eb ndoqa k\u00ebt\u00eb rrug\u00eb, por t\u00eb lutem, largoje k\u00ebt\u00eb rrezik nga un\u00eb, t\u00eb lutem!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb grua 55 vje\u00e7are. Dua t\u2019ju rr\u00ebfej historin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs sime, q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nj\u00eb histori shum\u00eb e komplikuar, s\u00eb cil\u00ebs nuk po di t\u2019i jap zgjidhje. Jeta ime deri tani ka qen\u00eb nj\u00eb ferr i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Nuk thon\u00eb kot se fati i femr\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[282],"class_list":["post-2757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-nga-jeta-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}