{"id":22662,"date":"2019-06-15T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2019-06-15T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=22662"},"modified":"2019-06-15T19:01:59","modified_gmt":"2019-06-15T17:01:59","slug":"%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-luftojme-agresivitetin-te-femijet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/06\/%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-luftojme-agresivitetin-te-femijet\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffSi ta luftojm\u00eb agresivitetin te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

N\u00eb rast se f\u00ebmija juaj, papritur e papandehur,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

shfaq shenja agresiviteti,<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

ngacmon shok\u00ebt apo i fyen p\u00ebr hi\u00e7mosgj\u00eb, <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

mos u shpejtoni t\u00eb nxirrni p\u00ebrfundimin se ai e ka mbushur kup\u00ebn dhe meriton t\u00eb d\u00ebnohet. P\u00ebrpiquni n\u00eb fillim ta \u201cstudioni\u201d mir\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj, ta kuptoni nga i vjen ky lloj agresiviteti, pra, t\u00eb gjeni shkakun e k\u00ebtyre prap\u00ebsive sepse, pas veprimeve t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, me siguri q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb disa rrethana t\u00eb cilat duhen njohur mir\u00eb. Por, cilat mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb ato?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mos u tremb nga agresiviteti i\nf\u00ebmij\u00ebs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prindi\nnuk ka pse t\u00eb trembet nga shfaqja e k\u00ebtij agresiviteti f\u00ebminor, kur v\u00eb re se ky\nagresivitet vjen si p\u00ebrgjigje e ndonj\u00eb ngacmimi t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. \u00c7do njeri, edhe nj\u00eb\ni rritur,  mund t\u00eb shfaq\u00eb agresivitet kur\nkund\u00ebr tij krijohet nj\u00eb situat\u00eb konfliktuale, kur v\u00eb re nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim t\u00eb\npadrejt\u00eb, nj\u00eb rrezik p\u00ebr veten a p\u00ebr t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, kur e ofendojn\u00eb, kur ndesh me\nnj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim mosmir\u00ebdash\u00ebs dhe armiq\u00ebsor. Ndryshimi q\u00ebndron n\u00eb faktin se i\nrrituri \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u2019i p\u00ebrmbaj\u00eb emocionet e tij dhe t\u2019i shpreh\u00eb ato m\u00eb me\nqet\u00ebsi, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb konstruktive, nd\u00ebrsa f\u00ebmija nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb akordohet\nplot\u00ebsisht me rregullat e normat e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb dhe i shkel ato, pra, tregohet\nagresiv. F\u00ebmija i shpreh ndjenjat e tij \u201cflak\u00eb p\u00ebr flak\u00eb\u201d, pa mbajtur aspak\nparaysh se si do t\u00eb gjykohen reagimet e tij nga t\u00eb rriturit q\u00eb e rrethojn\u00eb. Ai\nfillon e b\u00ebrtet, p\u00ebrpjek k\u00ebmb\u00ebt\u2026 Prind\u00ebrve u vjen r\u00ebnd\u00eb nga k\u00ebto veprime t\u00eb\ntrash\u00ebgimtarit t\u00eb tyre dhe p\u00ebrpiqen ta mbizot\u00ebrojn\u00eb situat\u00ebn duke e qortuar,\nduke i b\u00ebrtitur m\u00eb fort, madje shpesh edhe duke i t\u00ebrhequr veshin\u2026 Si rezultat\ni k\u00ebtyre p\u00ebrpjekjeve t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve \u201cp\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb nderin e tyre n\u00eb vend\u201d, lind\nedhe agresiviteti i f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Pra, shpesh ky agresivitet \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb protest\u00eb\nkund\u00ebr \u201cpushtetit\u201d t\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve. Dhe, pas d\u00ebnimit t\u00eb prindit, kuptohet, kjo\nndjenj\u00eb vet\u00ebm rritet e forcohet. Q\u00eb nga ky \u00e7ast, f\u00ebmija do ta b\u00ebj\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka\nvet\u00ebm \u201cp\u00ebr inat\u201d. K\u00ebshtu ndodh zakonisht deri n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 4-5 vje\u00e7are. Pas k\u00ebsaj\nmoshe, f\u00ebmija fillon t\u2019i kontrolloj\u00eb emocionet e tij, fillon t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb normat\nshoq\u00ebrore dhe kupton se kur jan\u00eb t\u00eb mira apo t\u00eb k\u00ebqia sjelljet e tij. Pas k\u00ebsaj\nmoshe, agresiviteti i f\u00ebmij\u00ebs merr nj\u00eb form\u00eb specifike dhe marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e tij\nme t\u00eb rriturit, fillojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c7far\u00eb e shtyn f\u00ebmij\u00ebn drejt\nagresivitetit?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. P\u00ebrpjekja p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00ebrhequr\nv\u00ebmendjen e t\u00eb rriturve<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kur\nf\u00ebmija nuk ndjen af\u00ebrsin\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhelit\u00eb e prind\u00ebrve, ai p\u00ebrpiqet t\u2019i fitoj\u00eb\nato me \u00e7do kusht. Ai b\u00ebn \u00e7mos, si t\u00eb thuash, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes\ns\u00eb tyre. Ve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, me sjelljet e saj agresive, f\u00ebmija p\u00ebrpiqet t\u00eb verifikoj\u00eb\ndashurin\u00eb e prindit p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Ai d\u00ebshiron q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e tij ta duan ashtu si\u00e7\n\u00ebsht\u00eb, edhe me t\u00eb metat q\u00eb ka, nd\u00ebrsa prind\u00ebrit, zakonisht, u japin ndjenjave\nt\u00eb dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb tyre nj\u00eb karakter vler\u00ebsues: \u201c Un\u00eb t\u00eb dua kur t\u2019i sillesh\nmire\u201d. Ose: \u201cTi sot ishe grindur me shokun e bang\u00ebs, prandaj un\u00eb nuk t\u00eb dua\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Kur ndihet i ofenduar nga\nprind\u00ebrit<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00ebmija\nmund t\u00eb ndihet i ofenduar nga prind\u00ebrit e tij p\u00ebr shkaqe t\u00eb ndryshme, si, bie\nfjala, kur n\u00eb familje lind nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, kur prind\u00ebrit grinden me\nnj\u00ebri-tjetrin, kur n\u00ebna ndahet nga babai dhe f\u00ebmija b\u00ebhet me njerk ose njerk\u00eb,\nlargimi i tij p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb nga familja, si shtrimi n\u00eb spital, d\u00ebnimi i\npadrejt\u00eb, mosplot\u00ebsimi i premtimeve, etj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Kur i mungon besimi n\u00eb vetvete\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00ebmija\nfillon t\u00eb shfaq\u00eb agresivitet edhe n\u00eb rastet kur i mungon besimi n\u00eb vetevete,\nsidomos n\u00eb rastet kur e ndjen veten si t\u00eb tep\u00ebrt n\u00eb familje. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast,\nagresiviteti f\u00ebminor s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se nj\u00eb reagim mbrojt\u00ebs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Arsye t\u00eb tjera q\u00eb provokojn\u00eb\nagresivitetin f\u00ebminor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dihet\nse n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebrin\u00eb e hershme, nj\u00eb nga rrug\u00ebt kryesore t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb njohur\nbot\u00ebn q\u00eb e rrethon, \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe ndjekja e sh\u00ebmbullit t\u00eb t\u00eb rriturve, duke i\nkopjuar ata. F\u00ebmija p\u00ebrpiqet t\u2019u ngjaj\u00eb prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb tij. N\u00eb rast se nj\u00eb prind\ni b\u00ebrtet f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb vet, n\u00eb rast se e godet, ai do t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjet me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat\nm\u00ebnyra jo vet\u00ebm nga inati, por edhe sepse kujton se nj\u00eb veprim i till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i\nlejuesh\u00ebm. D\u00ebnimet e r\u00ebnda e detyrojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn t\u00eb fsheh\u00eb urrejtjen n\u00eb prani t\u00eb\nprind\u00ebrve, por ai mund ta shpreh\u00eb n\u00eb situata t\u00eb tjera k\u00ebt\u00eb eg\u00ebrsi q\u00eb i\ngrumbullohet n\u00eb vetvete. P\u00ebr shembull, ai do t\u00eb tregohet agresiv ndaj shoqeve\ndhe shok\u00ebve t\u00eb tij. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Pavendosm\u00ebria dhe l\u00ebkundjet n\u00eb\njet\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prindi\nduhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb i prer\u00eb dhe i vendosur n\u00eb q\u00ebndrimet e tij ndaj t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve dhe\nndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb vet; n\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn, f\u00ebmija mund t\u00eb manipuloj\u00eb me dob\u00ebsit\u00eb e\nprindit. Kur prindi vendos t\u2019i v\u00ebr\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs disa kufizime ose t\u2019i ndaloj\u00eb\nndonj\u00eb send, duhet ta sqaroj\u00eb paraprakisht q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. P\u00ebr\nshembull, nj\u00eb prind nuk do q\u00eb f\u00ebmija i vet t\u00eb luaj\u00eb me shprep\u00ebse dhe pa i th\u00ebn\u00eb\nasnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, vete ia rr\u00ebmben shprep\u00ebsen nga dora dhe me inat, i thot\u00eb: \u201cT\u00eb jet\u00eb\nhera e fundit q\u00eb t\u00eb shikoj me shkrep\u00ebse n\u00eb dor\u00eb. Do t\u00eb na v\u00ebsh flak\u00ebn!\u201d. T\u00eb\ngjitha k\u00ebto, nj\u00eb prind i mir\u00eb mund t\u2019i kalonte me nj\u00eb fraz\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb: \u201cUn\u00eb t\u00eb\ndua shum\u00eb, por ti me at\u00eb shkrep\u00ebse mund t\u00eb digjesh; mos e merr m\u00eb, t\u00eb lutem, se\najo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb lod\u00ebr!\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K\u00ebshtu,\npra, sikurse tham\u00eb n\u00eb fillim, prindi duhet ta sqaroj\u00eb me v\u00ebmendje dhe durim se\nnga i ka ardhur agresiviteti f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. Ve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, duhen mbajtur mir\u00eb\nparasysh edhe disa k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb pedagog\u00ebve dhe psikolog\u00ebve p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb, si, bie\nfjala:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022\nF\u00ebmija duhet pranuar ashtu si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb, me gjith\u00eb t\u00eb metat e tij. Shprehja m\u00eb e\np\u00ebrdorshme n\u00eb familje p\u00ebr t\u2019iu drejtuar f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, duhet t\u00eb mbetet: \u201cUn\u00eb t\u00eb dua\nshum\u00eb! Un\u00eb t\u00eb kam xhan!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2022\nFlisni me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj hapur p\u00ebr emocionet e tij, pa patur frik\u00eb se ai nuk do\nt\u2019ju kuptoj\u00eb. Thuajini atij se, p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzit nxehen dhe\nzem\u00ebrohen, por duhet t\u00eb dish si ta shpreh\u00ebsh zem\u00ebrimin t\u00ebnd, pa i shkaktuar\ntjetrit dhimbje, pa e ofenduar at\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

N\u00eb rast se f\u00ebmija juaj, papritur e papandehur, shfaq shenja agresiviteti, ngacmon shok\u00ebt apo i fyen p\u00ebr hi\u00e7mosgj\u00eb, mos u shpejtoni t\u00eb nxirrni p\u00ebrfundimin se ai e ka mbushur kup\u00ebn dhe meriton t\u00eb d\u00ebnohet. P\u00ebrpiquni n\u00eb fillim ta \u201cstudioni\u201d mir\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj, ta kuptoni nga i vjen ky lloj agresiviteti, pra, t\u00eb gjeni shkakun e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22663,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22662\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22663"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}