{"id":2260,"date":"2014-08-17T19:11:56","date_gmt":"2014-08-17T19:11:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=2260"},"modified":"2014-08-17T19:11:56","modified_gmt":"2014-08-17T19:11:56","slug":"kam-frike-se-me-gjykojne","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2014\/08\/kam-frike-se-me-gjykojne\/","title":{"rendered":"Kam frik\u00eb se m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>&#8211; I nderuar Dr. Demiri, problemin im do ta quaja m\u00eb tep\u00ebr nj\u00eb ankth social, sesa ndrojtje dhe turp. Kam nj\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb theksuar vet\u00ebbesimi dhe vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi. Kam tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb faj\u00ebsoj veten p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ta gjykoj veten gjer n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e fundit dhe ta nd\u00ebshkoj. Shpesh kam dilema t\u00eb kota dhe m\u00eb duket sikur \u00e7lirohem vet\u00ebm kur e b\u00ebj veten p\u00ebr t\u00eb vuajtur. \u00a0Ka momente kur shk\u00ebputem nga realiteti, por ajo q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb p\u00ebrjetoj \u00e7do dit\u00eb, nj\u00eb ndrojtje nga njer\u00ebzit, nj\u00eb frik\u00eb se po m\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb. Madje, kur dikush m\u00eb shikon p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, mendoj se di\u00e7ka nuk shkon me mua dhe m\u00eb kap paniku. \u00c7far\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloni? Me respekt, nj\u00eb lexuese&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em><\/strong> &#8211; E nderuar lexuese, kushdo q\u00eb e lexon k\u00ebt\u00eb letr\u00ebn t\u00ebnde, mund t\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cObobo sa keq q\u00eb qenka kjo!\u201d, kurse n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, pavar\u00ebsisht nga vuajtjet q\u00eb ti i p\u00ebrshkruan aq sakt\u00eb, nuk i quaj k\u00ebto asnj\u00eb lloj rreziku pasi t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto jan\u00eb simptoma t\u00eb ankthit dhe ankthi nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb s\u00ebmundje. Simptomat dhe s\u00ebmundja nuk jan\u00eb e nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr simptomat e ankthit, sado t\u00eb frikshme e t\u00eb \u00e7uditshme, p\u00ebrve\u00e7se nuk jan\u00eb s\u00ebmundje, jan\u00eb edhe plot\u00ebsisht t\u00eb trajtueshme, me psikoterapi dhe me barna kryesisht bimore. Mua m\u00eb vjen mir\u00eb q\u00eb ti nuk e quan veten t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb dhe je p\u00ebrpjekur t\u00eb vet\u00ebdiagnostikohesh duke menduar se ke ankth social. \u00cbsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrett\u00eb se je futur n\u00eb nj\u00eb si \u201crreth vicioz\u201d, por ka r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi fakti q\u00eb ti e kupton k\u00ebt\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrpiqesh t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh q\u00eb andej. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto kan\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb me faktin q\u00eb ti je e zgjuar e me ndjenj\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsie, me shum\u00eb sed\u00ebr e dinjitet, por edhe e mbindjeshme, pra, plot cil\u00ebsi t\u00eb larta t\u00eb cilat sikur jan\u00eb t\u00eb tepruara, pasi si\u00e7 thot\u00eb francezi, e mira tep\u00ebr, \u00ebsht\u00eb e keqja e s\u00eb mir\u00ebs. Fakti q\u00eb ti e faj\u00ebson veten p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, pra, ke tendenc\u00ebn ta gjykosh veten deri n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e fundit dhe ta nd\u00ebshkosh duke u \u201cgrindur\u201d p\u00ebr dilema t\u00eb kota, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se ti ke humbur paqen e brendshme shpirt\u00ebrore. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eblloj sikur \u201cf\u00ebmijen\u201d t\u00ebnd t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm, \u201cAnjez\u00ebn e vog\u00ebl\u201d ta tremb\u00ebsh pa pushim ose ta l\u00ebsh n\u00eb rrug\u00eb dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt t\u00eb shkelin e \u201cmasakrojn\u00eb\u201d at\u00eb. M\u00eb vajti goja pas, duke u th\u00ebn\u00eb njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb ta duan e llastojn\u00eb \u201cf\u00ebmij\u00ebn\u201d e vet t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm dhe gjendjen e vet shpirt\u00ebrore t\u00eb mos e l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb duart e askujt, por ta mbajn\u00eb vet\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb. T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, sado t\u00eb af\u00ebrt e t\u00eb dashur q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb, nj\u00eb dit\u00eb ose nuk do t\u2019i kemi se do t\u00eb vdesin (si p\u00ebr shembull prind\u00ebrit), ose mund t\u00eb na braktisin (si p\u00ebr shembull i dashuri). Ajo q\u00eb nuk na \u201cbraktis\u201d ne kurr\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb vetvetja. Kur kam qen\u00eb student, n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn t\u00ebnde, m\u00eb kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje kur i lexova n\u00eb nj\u00eb revist\u00eb \u201c5 m\u00ebsimet e Konfucit\u201d, nj\u00eb filozof i vjet\u00ebr kinez. Ja se cilat jan\u00eb: 1. Njeriu q\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb gabim dhe nuk e ka korrigjuar, ka b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebshtu gabimin e dyt\u00eb. 2. \u00c7do gj\u00eb ka bukurin\u00eb e saj, por jo kushdo di ta shoh\u00eb. 3. Dituria e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kur dikush e kupton shkall\u00ebn e padijes s\u00eb vet. 4. B\u00ebj pun\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00eblqen dhe at\u00ebhere nuk do t\u00eb \u201cpunosh\u201d asnj\u00eb dit\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde. 5. Suksesi m\u00eb i madh, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb mos d\u00ebshtosh kurr\u00eb, por t\u00eb dish t\u00eb ringrihesh sa her\u00eb q\u00eb d\u00ebshton&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; N\u00eb mosh\u00ebn time t\u00eb rinis\u00eb, i kam zb\u00ebrthyer me detaje k\u00ebto th\u00ebnie dhe m\u00eb kan\u00eb ndihmuar e sh\u00ebrbyer shum\u00eb. T\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebshilloj edhe ty, sepse paske humbur edhe \u201corientimin\u201d e sakt\u00eb dhe paqen e brendshme shpirt\u00ebrore. Q\u00eb t\u2019i rifitosh k\u00ebto, t\u00eb duhen disa seanca me psikolog, por t\u00eb duhet nj\u00eb psikolog klinicist, mund\u00ebsisht me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb, pasi \u00e7montimi i gjendjeve t\u00eb ankthit si di\u00e7ka e \u201cm\u00ebsuar\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur 100 %, por k\u00ebrkon \u201cmjesht\u00ebri\u201d t\u00eb madhe. P\u00ebr ta kuptuar pak m\u00eb mir\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb \u201cpaqe shpirt\u00ebrore\u201d dhe se sa r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi ka ajo, un\u00eb kam shkruar n\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje tek \u201cIntervista\u201d me titull \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cdyzeni\u201d shpirt\u00ebror?\u201d. Kam shpjeguar se si shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz shqet\u00ebsohen p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb vogla e t\u00eb par\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme dhe harxhojn\u00eb koh\u00eb e shum\u00eb energji duke menduar rreth tyre, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb hidheshin n\u00eb veprim si\u00e7 b\u00ebjn\u00eb japonez\u00ebt, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk qajn\u00eb, por veprojn\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb si ato \u201cmilingonat\u201d. Pra, po t\u00eb l\u00ebvizim e veprojm\u00eb, ne nuk do t\u00eb futeshim n\u00eb stres. Ajo q\u00eb na shkakton stres, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e tanishmja kur ne jemi n\u00eb veprim e sip\u00ebr, por gjithmon\u00eb \u201ce shkruara\u201d, me pyetjet si e pse ndodhi dhe e ardhmja, me pyetjet: \u201cPo sikur&#8230;?\u201d, pa fund. Sa her\u00eb q\u00eb pyesim me fjal\u00ebt \u201cpse\u201d, e \u201cpo sikur\u201d, ne kemi menduar di\u00e7ka t\u00eb keqe, t\u00eb pak\u00ebndshme. Ato q\u00eb na shkaktojn\u00eb stres nuk jan\u00eb aq ndodhit\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete, por mendimi yn\u00eb p\u00ebr ndodhit\u00eb. M\u00eb vjen t\u00eb qesh Anjeza, kur ti thua q\u00eb \u201czihem shpesh me veten p\u00ebr dilema t\u00eb kota\u201d dhe ke nj\u00eb inat t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm ndaj vetes. T\u00eb siguroj se me disa seanca me psikoterapi ti do t\u00eb ndjehesh si e dal\u00eb nga burgu ose le t\u00eb themi m\u00eb mir\u00eb, nga nj\u00eb lloj labirinti nga i cili na vijn\u00eb n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb 5 \u201cmjete\u201d t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme psikologjike t\u00eb cilat na duhen p\u00ebr gjith\u00ebn jet\u00ebn. Shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz, pas seancave, jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb kan\u00eb nj\u00eb vet\u00ebbesim e vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsim m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb, por ndjehen si t\u00eb \u00e7liruar nga kjo lloj dare psikologjike. K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e b\u00ebn \u201cmagjia\u201d e bukur e psikoterapis\u00eb dhe e psikoanaliz\u00ebs, gjat\u00eb t\u00eb cilave hapen dyer e dritare p\u00ebr t\u2019u \u201cajrosur\u201d ato magazinat e shpritit tuaj t\u00eb mrekulluesh\u00ebm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar Dr. Demiri, problemin im do ta quaja m\u00eb tep\u00ebr nj\u00eb ankth social, sesa ndrojtje dhe turp. Kam nj\u00eb munges\u00eb t\u00eb theksuar vet\u00ebbesimi dhe vet\u00ebvler\u00ebsimi. Kam tendenc\u00eb t\u00eb faj\u00ebsoj veten p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ta gjykoj veten gjer n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e fundit dhe ta nd\u00ebshkoj. Shpesh kam dilema t\u00eb kota dhe m\u00eb duket sikur [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[365,366,364],"class_list":["post-2260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-ankth","tag-fajedsoj-veten","tag-psikologu-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}