{"id":22559,"date":"2019-06-05T16:24:42","date_gmt":"2019-06-05T14:24:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=22559"},"modified":"2019-06-05T16:24:53","modified_gmt":"2019-06-05T14:24:53","slug":"%ef%bb%bfmotra-me-persekuton","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/06\/%ef%bb%bfmotra-me-persekuton\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffMotra m\u00eb persekuton!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>&#8211; I nderuar doktor Demiri,<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong> un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 20 vje\u00e7e, q\u00eb studioj p\u00ebr Mjek\u00ebsi. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Problemi im i ka rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri ku kam p\u00ebrjetuar disa situata t\u00eb sikletshme q\u00eb kan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb gjurm\u00eb tek un\u00eb.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong> Fillimisht, ime mot\u00ebr m\u00eb akuzonte se isha \u201ce turpshme\u201d dhe skuqesha shpesh. Ajo m\u00eb tallte p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, thua se un\u00eb po b\u00ebja ndonj\u00eb faj, m\u00eb b\u00ebnte t\u00eb ndihesha fajtore. Do t\u00eb duhej nj\u00eb roman q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruaja t\u00eb gjitha sjelljet e saj. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme, ende vazhdon t\u00eb m\u00eb akuzoj\u00eb p\u00ebr gj\u00ebra t\u00eb kota n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb l\u00ebndoj\u00eb, m\u00eb v\u00eb n\u00eb pah t\u00eb metat e mia dhe m\u00eb ofendon. Kur nuk e d\u00ebgjoj p\u00ebr di\u00e7ka apo nuk i jap di\u00e7ka hua, ma kthen: \u201cPo ti budallaqe ke qen\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn! Me k\u00eb merrem edhe un\u00eb?!\u201d, nd\u00ebrsa po t\u2019ia plot\u00ebsoj t\u00eb gjitha d\u00ebshirat, b\u00ebhet e urt\u00eb. Problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb se un\u00eb e vuaj shum\u00eb sjelljen e saj, por nuk mund t\u2019ia transmetoj, pasi kjo do t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr arsye q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb m\u00eb posht\u00ebroj\u00eb. Kjo m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb mbyllur n\u00eb vetvete. Prind\u00ebrit m\u00eb thon\u00eb t\u00eb mos ia v\u00eb veshin, por ata nuk e kuptojn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb un\u00eb p\u00ebrjetoj. Kur rri pran\u00eb dikujt, m\u00eb duket vetja kot, plot difekte. Kam lexuar p\u00ebr ankthin, por nuk di si ta heq. Ju lutem, m\u00eb ndihmoni. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Dr.\nJashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em><\/strong><strong> <\/strong>&#8211; E nderuara studente 20 vje\u00e7are, doktoresha e ardhshme,\nletra jote i shpreh shum\u00eb qart\u00eb vuajtjet e tua prej ankthit social, k\u00ebtij\n\u201ckanceri\u201d psikologjik i cili duhet hequr sa m\u00eb par\u00eb se t\u00eb prish cil\u00ebsin\u00eb e jet\u00ebs,\nm\u00eb sakt\u00eb: Ta nxin jet\u00ebn! M\u00eb d\u00ebgjo me v\u00ebmendje: Edhe pse ky ankthi yt i ka rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt\nq\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri, si\u00e7 e ke p\u00ebrshkruar edhe ti, gjithsesi \u00e7do lloj ankthi \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb\nsjellje e m\u00ebsuar dhe ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb lajm i mir\u00eb, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se ashtu si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb\nkrijuar, po ashtu edhe \u201c\u00e7m\u00ebsohet\u201d. Pra, ankthi social \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje e\nvazhdueshme \u201calarmi\u201d, e krijuar n\u00eb saje t\u00eb ngacmuesve specifik\u00eb, porse ky \u00ebsht\u00eb\nnj\u00eb lloj ankthi 100 % i trajtuesh\u00ebm me psikoterapi dhe me disa ila\u00e7e bimore. E keqja\n\u00ebsht\u00eb se 80 % e individ\u00ebve nuk vijn\u00eb te psikologu pik\u00ebrisht sepse penges\u00eb b\u00ebhet\nky lloj ankthi, pra, sikleti q\u00eb ndjen klienti kur punon apo bisedon me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb\ntjer\u00eb, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, t\u00eb panjohur. Dihet se marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb\ne r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, pasi njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb qenie biosociale dhe, pa marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me t\u00eb\ntjer\u00ebt, jeta kurr\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb normale e as nuk mund t\u00eb keni suksese. Ama,\nnuk mund t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtojm\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt n\u00ebse nuk i durojm\u00eb \u201cngacmuesit\u201d\ne jasht\u00ebm, pik\u00ebrisht ato gj\u00ebra q\u00eb nuk na p\u00eblqejn\u00eb e na japin ankth social. Ne\npsikolog\u00ebt nuk i m\u00ebsojm\u00eb klient\u00ebt q\u00eb t\u00eb ikin nga \u201cngacmuesit\u201d e jasht\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb\nqen\u00eb \u201crehat\u201d, se k\u00ebshtu e keqja nuk kalon kurr\u00eb, se neve jeta vet\u00ebm na ngacmon.\nNj\u00eb postulat thot\u00eb: \u201cMos prit q\u00eb jeta t\u00eb jet\u00eb e drejt\u00eb\u201d. Pra, ne punojm\u00eb me\nklient\u00ebt me 2 lloje psikoterapish: Konjitive t\u00eb sjelljes, strategjike ose t\u00eb\nkombinuar, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas njohurive t\u00eb nevojshme, fillohet me\np\u00ebrballjen e cila b\u00ebhet graduale, e durueshme, porse strategjike e progresive.\nDuke e duruar ankthin e p\u00ebrballjes, dal\u00ebngadal\u00eb, ngacmuesi e humbet fuqin\u00eb dhe\nnjeriu fillon t\u00eb ndjehet i lir\u00eb. Pra, ne supozojm\u00eb se jemi \u201cushtria mbrojt\u00ebse\u201d\ne vetes son\u00eb dhe si \u00e7do ushtri nuk mund t\u2019i lutet \u201carmikut\u201d q\u00eb ta l\u00ebr\u00eb rehat e\nt\u00eb mos e shqet\u00ebsoj\u00eb, porse ushtria forcon \u201cmbrojtjen\u201d e sulmin dhe n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb,\najo q\u00eb dje t\u00eb dukej \u201ck\u00ebrc\u00ebnuese\u201d, duke iu kund\u00ebrv\u00ebn\u00eb, ajo e humbet fuqin\u00eb dhe\nti je i lir\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8211; Psikoterapia\nstrategjike ka lidhje me fillimin e nj\u00eb veprimtarie t\u00eb bukur e t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme\nme nj\u00eb q\u00ebllim t\u00eb madh, si\u00e7 \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rastin t\u00ebnd, mbarimi me sukses i shkoll\u00ebs s\u00eb\nlart\u00eb p\u00ebr Mjek\u00ebsi, para t\u00eb cilit q\u00ebllim, gj\u00ebrat e tjera t\u00eb duken \u201cvog\u00eblsira\u201d pasi\nk\u00ebnaq\u00ebsia jote m\u00eb e madhe \u00ebsht\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebtu, ndaj edhe \u00e7lirohesh nga ai\n\u201ckoni\u201d i err\u00ebt pa pritur fjal\u00eb t\u00eb mira apo komplimente nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb\nrast, ankthiozi social ka si parim: \u201c\u00cbsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme kjo q\u00eb po b\u00ebj un\u00eb dhe\njo ajo q\u00eb mendojn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt\u201d. \u00c7udia e madhe \u00ebsht\u00eb se t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ankthioz\u00ebt\nsocial\u00eb jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb dashur e shpirtmir\u00eb dhe i duan shum\u00eb komplimentet, por\nata nuk i marrin komplimentet p\u00ebr shkak se nuk i lejon ankthi social q\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebjn\u00eb\nato dhe ata nuk e din\u00eb se po nuk dhe, as nuk merr. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe arsyeja se\npse ata nuk e marrin v\u00ebmendjen e mir\u00ebnjohjen q\u00eb d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb e q\u00eb e kan\u00eb si ajrin\ne si ushqimin e shpirtit. K\u00ebt\u00eb do t\u00eb mundohem ta shpjegoj pak m\u00eb gjer\u00eb sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb\nshum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme. Pra, e kemi fjal\u00ebn p\u00ebr aft\u00ebsit\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00ebse dhe p\u00ebr mendimin\npozitiv t\u00eb cilat kan\u00eb nj\u00eb impakt shum\u00eb t\u00eb madh te njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb na rrethojn\u00eb. Ajo\nq\u00eb nuk e kuptojn\u00eb ankthioz\u00ebt social\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb se, q\u00eb nga momenti kur ata do t\u00eb jen\u00eb\ndh\u00ebn\u00ebs, t\u00eb qeshur, t\u00eb komunikuesh\u00ebm e komplimentues me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, do t\u00eb shohin\nse, sipas ligjit t\u00eb karm\u00ebs, ajo q\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb, do t\u00eb filloj\u00eb t\u00eb punoj\u00eb p\u00ebr\nata, do t\u2019u kthehet mbrapsht, pra, do t\u00eb pak\u00ebsohen shanset q\u00eb ata t\u00eb ndihen keq\ndhe do t\u00eb filloj\u00eb t\u00eb korr\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb mbjell, q\u00eb jep. Pra, n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb do t\u2019i\nthyeni barrierat dhe do t\u2019i jepni ato \u201cgj\u00ebrat\u201d e mira q\u00eb ju i keni pa mbarim,\ndo t\u00eb shihni sa shum\u00eb do t\u00eb merrni e sa t\u00eb lumtur do t\u00eb ndjeheni. Por, mos u\nmerrni me ata q\u00eb jan\u00eb cinik\u00eb, manipulator\u00eb e psikovampir\u00eb (energji-ngr\u00ebn\u00ebs)\npasi ata nuk din\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb ndryshe. Ikni prej atyre e mos u influenconi nga\nata, edhe pse nj\u00eb nga ato qenka motra jote e madhe. Asaj shp\u00ebrbleja me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn\n\u201cmonedh\u00eb\u201d dhe v\u00ebrja kufirin te thana, pra, mos e lejo t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7muese e\narrogante ndaj teje. Ajo qenka p\u00ebr ty tamam nj\u00eb psikovampire (energji-ngr\u00ebn\u00ebse)\ne mos i hiq me t\u00eb \u201cambasadat\u201d, porse tek e fundit, secila n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e vet. Do t\u00eb\nshoh\u00ebsh q\u00eb edhe ajo do t\u00eb filloj\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb trajtoj\u00eb ndryshe, por m\u00eb par\u00eb thuaja t\u00eb\ngjitha, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb ajo t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb se sa e pasjellshme ka qen\u00eb me ty e besoj\nse pas k\u00ebsaj, do t\u00eb filloj\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb trajtoj\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb e t\u00eb t\u00eb kushtoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb v\u00ebmendje.\nE kuptove tani doktoresha \u201ce vog\u00ebl\u201d se sjellja jote mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb ngjit\u00ebse dhe\nqoft\u00eb edhe me nj\u00eb buz\u00ebqeshje&nbsp; me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt,\nrrug\u00ebt do t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb hapura dhe gj\u00ebrat e vogla nuk do t\u00eb vihen re. Ky mendim\npozitiv do t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb fillosh t\u00eb kesh m\u00eb shum\u00eb besim te vetja e t\u00eb mos\nmerreni aq shum\u00eb me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt duke u b\u00ebr\u00eb \u201clexuese\u201d e keqe e mendjes s\u00eb tyre.\nDo t\u00eb ndjeni fuqin\u00eb e madhe menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas seancave t\u00eb para me psikoterapi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; I nderuar doktor Demiri, un\u00eb jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb 20 vje\u00e7e, q\u00eb studioj p\u00ebr Mjek\u00ebsi. Problemi im i ka rr\u00ebnj\u00ebt q\u00eb n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri ku kam p\u00ebrjetuar disa situata t\u00eb sikletshme q\u00eb kan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb gjurm\u00eb tek un\u00eb. Fillimisht, ime mot\u00ebr m\u00eb akuzonte se isha \u201ce turpshme\u201d dhe skuqesha shpesh. Ajo m\u00eb tallte p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, thua se [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[2512],"class_list":["post-22559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-dr-jashar-demiri"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22559"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22559\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}