{"id":22554,"date":"2019-05-31T21:30:50","date_gmt":"2019-05-31T19:30:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=22554"},"modified":"2019-05-31T20:32:51","modified_gmt":"2019-05-31T18:32:51","slug":"%ef%bb%bfpse-ka-ndryshuar-keshtu-familja","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/05\/%ef%bb%bfpse-ka-ndryshuar-keshtu-familja\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffPse ka ndryshuar k\u00ebshtu familja?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8211;<strong>Shoh me shqet\u00ebsim se njer\u00ebzit sa vijn\u00eb e po b\u00ebhen si t\u00eb \u201chuaj\u201d n\u00eb familje dhe po i k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb jasht\u00eb saj. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Shoh realitetin dhe ndjehem e shqet\u00ebsuar sa s\u2019mund ta duroj dot k\u00ebt\u00eb realitet dhe kam frik\u00eb nga martesa. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Un\u00eb s\u2019do ta duroja dot tradhtin\u00eb sepse ajo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm \u201cikje fizike\u201d te nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr tjet\u00ebr, por edhe nj\u00eb \u201carratisje\u201d shpirt\u00ebrore&#8230; <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dua mendimin tuaj se pse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb familja ajo e para dhe po ndodh k\u00ebshtu? Gena. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong><em>Dr.\nJashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em><\/strong><strong> <\/strong>&#8211; E nderuara Gena, nuk m\u00eb p\u00eblqen ajo \u201cfrika\u201d jote e\ntepruar p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat e \u201ck\u00ebqia\u201d sepse kjo frik\u00eb mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb edhe penguese. Asgj\u00eb\nnuk ndodh rast\u00ebsisht. Asnj\u00eb alpinist nuk do t\u00eb nisej p\u00ebr n\u00eb rrug\u00ebt e bukura e\nplot emocione t\u00eb lart\u00ebsive, sikur t\u00eb mendonte vet\u00ebm rreziqet. Kam biseduar p\u00ebrzem\u00ebrsisht\nme alpinistin Gjergj Bojaxhiu dhe koleg\u00ebt e tij pasi u kthyen nga Himalajat dhe\nato \u00e7aste nuk do t\u2019i harroj kurr\u00eb! K\u00ebnaq\u00ebsia dhe krenaria e tyre ishin t\u00eb pap\u00ebrshkruara;\nata ndjeheshin gati t\u00eb \u201ciluminuar\u201d, sikur atje, n\u00eb Himalajet tep\u00ebr t\u00eb larta, t\u00eb\nkishin takuar vet\u00eb Zotin! E pra, alpinisti q\u00eb ngjitet n\u00eb Himalaja e di q\u00eb mund\nt\u00eb shkoj\u00eb edhe drejt vdekjes dhe askush nuk mund ta ndihmoj\u00eb, aq sa rrug\u00ebs\nshikon njer\u00ebz t\u00eb ngrir\u00eb, si t\u00eb ballsamosur, si t\u00eb ishin \u201cparmak\u00ebt\u201d e rrug\u00ebs\ndrejt vdekjes. Desha t\u00eb them se, po menduam vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr rreziqet, nuk do t\u00eb jemi\nn\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb arrijm\u00eb gj\u00ebrat e duhura, t\u00eb bukura dhe si pa kuptuar mund t\u00eb\nfutemi tek ajo q\u00eb ne psikolog\u00ebt e quajm\u00eb \u201czona e rehatis\u00eb\u201d e cila n\u00eb fakt \u00ebsht\u00eb\nzona e izolimit, ku me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, ky lloj \u201crehati\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb si nj\u00eb \u201ckurth\u201d q\u00eb t\u00eb\nka z\u00ebn\u00eb brenda, por q\u00eb ti nuk e kupton. Jet\u00ebs duhet t\u00eb dish si t\u2019ia \u201czhvat\u00ebsh\u201d\nato q\u00eb t\u00eb takojn\u00eb, lumturin\u00eb, por vet\u00ebkuptohet, edhe t\u00eb dish se si ta ruash\n\u201cpjes\u00ebn t\u00ebnde\u201d. Gj\u00ebrat ndodhin sepse duhet t\u00eb ndodhin, themi ne psikolog\u00ebt, se\npo t\u00eb mos ekzistonte e keqja, nuk do t\u00eb dallohej as e mira. M\u00eb fal se n\u00eb vend q\u00eb\nt\u00eb t\u00eb jepja shpjegime p\u00ebr pyetjen, duket sikur po t\u00eb b\u00ebj teorizime moralizuese,\npor k\u00ebt\u00eb e b\u00ebj se nuk jam dakord me disa mendime disi nihiliste t\u00eb disa njer\u00ebzve\nndoshta inert\u00eb e pasiv\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt deklarojn\u00eb: \u201cU prish bota!\u201d. Jo, bota sa vjen\ne b\u00ebhet m\u00eb e bukur, m\u00eb e zhvilluar&#8230; Ende ndodh q\u00eb m\u00eb vijn\u00eb p\u00ebr seanca vajza\naf\u00ebr t\u00eb dyzetave, t\u00eb virgj\u00ebra, t\u00eb cilat e kan\u00eb quajtur zhvirgj\u00ebrimin \u201cfundin e bot\u00ebs\u201d!\nNj\u00eb vajze t\u00eb till\u00eb, profesori im i paharruar H.B. n\u00eb prezenc\u00ebn time, me shaka, i\ntha: \u201cEh, si s\u2019u gjet ndonj\u00ebri q\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunonte!\u201d. Kjo th\u00ebnie, ky reagim i\ntij pas t\u00eb cilit ne t\u00eb tre qesh\u00ebm me lot, ka di\u00e7ka t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb brenda, edhe pse\npo ne psikolog\u00ebt themi se nuk ka mallkim m\u00eb t\u00eb madh sesa p\u00ebrdhunimi i nj\u00eb\nfemre. Kurr\u00eb t\u00eb mos themi: \u201cNuk ka&#8230; nuk gjendet (i \u201cduhuri\u201d)\u201d, por t\u00eb themi q\u00eb\n\u201cun\u00eb nuk po di ta gjej t\u00eb \u201cduhurin\u201d, po neglizhoj, nuk po guxoj\u201d&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8211; N\u00eb lidhje me familjen: T\u00eb gjith\u00eb ne\nsynojm\u00eb q\u00eb familjet tona t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mirat! Edhe n\u00eb Amerik\u00ebn e zhvilluar, i\nkan\u00eb provuar me koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha format dhe kan\u00eb dal\u00eb n\u00eb konkluzionin se \u201cnuk ka\nsi familja\u201d, pasi streha apo foleja q\u00eb t\u00eb fal k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb e jet\u00ebs, vet\u00ebm aty\ngjendet. Tolstoi ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se familjet e lumtura jan\u00eb t\u00eb lumtura secila sipas m\u00ebnyr\u00ebs\ns\u00eb vet dhe familjet e palumtura jan\u00eb t\u00eb palumtura gati nj\u00eblloj. Kam pun\u00ebn t\u00eb\natill\u00eb q\u00eb futem n\u00ebp\u00ebr shum\u00eb familje, por edhe pse diku gjej luks t\u00eb papar\u00eb,\nmezi pres t\u00eb iki se jan\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb, si\u00e7 m\u00eb ka ndodhur e kund\u00ebrta,\nndoshta n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi fshati, n\u00eb provinc\u00eb, secili ndjen k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi q\u00eb takohet\nme t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt ose se erdhi miku, ku burri bisedon me gruan si ta kishte marr\u00eb\nmalli nga dita q\u00eb e kaluan n\u00eb pun\u00eb, ku f\u00ebmij\u00ebt ndjehen t\u00eb vler\u00ebsuar e gati si t\u00eb\nbarabart\u00eb dhe ulen e qajn\u00eb hallet me t\u00eb rriturit, ku pleqt\u00eb ndjehen t\u00eb siguruar\np\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhmen e pasardh\u00ebsit e tyre. A e di ti Gena se cili \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201c\u00e7el\u00ebsi\u201d i\ngjith\u00eb k\u00ebsaj lumturie? Gjuha e p\u00ebrdorur n\u00eb familje: gjuha e logjik\u00ebs, e ndjenjave\ndhe e ngroht\u00ebsis\u00eb&#8230; Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb gjuha q\u00eb do t\u00eb rrit\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe n\u00ebse n\u00ebna apo\nbabai nuk do ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, at\u00ebhere kush do ta b\u00ebj\u00eb? Un\u00eb \u201cvdes\u201d p\u00ebr Tolstoin,\nndaj po t\u00eb p\u00ebrmend edhe nj\u00eb th\u00ebnie tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb tij: \u201cNjeriu duhet t\u00eb jetoj\u00eb me\nmendimet e tij dhe me ndjenjat e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve\u201d. Sa e bukur kjo th\u00ebnie, brilante!\nShoh nd\u00ebr klient\u00ebt e mi q\u00eb mjaft njer\u00ebz i kan\u00eb ndrydhur ndjenjat dhe kjo i ka\nsjell\u00eb ata tek un\u00eb p\u00ebr psikoterapi, pasi vet\u00eb autori i k\u00ebtyre radh\u00ebve te libri\n\u201cEdukata Seksuale\u201d ka shkruar se njeriu nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb makin\u00eb dhe natyrshm\u00ebria e\nndjenjave dhe e d\u00ebshirave duhet respektuar. Njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb i ndrydhin gjithmon\u00eb\nndjenjat e d\u00ebshirat, m\u00eb ngjajn\u00eb si nj\u00eb pus i thell\u00eb dhe i mbyllur hermetikisht,\nnj\u00eb \u201cpus\u201d i padobish\u00ebm me uj\u00ebt t\u00eb ndenjur. Nj\u00eb \u201cdon zhuan\u201d m\u00eb tha nj\u00eb dit\u00eb me\nhumor p\u00ebr grat\u00eb e \u201cst\u00ebrvitura\u201d se pusi i vjet\u00ebr ka uj\u00eb t\u00eb ftoht\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa nj\u00eb\nbukuroshe e re, e sert\u00eb e jo dh\u00ebn\u00ebse nuk t\u00eb k\u00ebnaq. T\u00eb mos harrojm\u00eb pra se\nKrijuesi e ka b\u00ebr\u00eb femr\u00ebn p\u00ebr mashkullin e mashkullin p\u00ebr femr\u00ebn dhe, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb\nbashk\u00eb, u krijua edhe familja, martesa, si institucioni ku shkarkohen e derdhen\nndjenjat. Vet\u00eb Krijuesi b\u00ebri nj\u00eb mrekulli kur e pajisi njeriun me bot\u00ebn e\nndjenjave dhe t\u00eb emocioneve, p\u00ebr t\u00eb na e zbukuruar e leht\u00ebsuar jet\u00ebn dhe gjith\u00eb\nk\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb emocionale e sentimentale e mish\u00ebroi te familja, ku njeriu ndjehet i\nqet\u00eb, i paqt\u00eb dhe n\u00eb prehje t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb. Por, q\u00eb t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb kjo, burri dhe gruaja\nduhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00ebs t\u00eb pap\u00ebrtuar&#8230; N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, \u201ci urituri\u201d k\u00ebrkon edhe\njasht\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. G\u00ebte i madh ka shkruar se \u201ci gjith\u00eb\u201d gjenialiteti i femr\u00ebs q\u00ebndron\nn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ajo jepet e jo n\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb nuk jepet&#8230; Nj\u00eb apel p\u00ebr t\u00eb \u201cvirgj\u00ebrat\u201d e\nvonuara? Mbase&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211;Shoh me shqet\u00ebsim se njer\u00ebzit sa vijn\u00eb e po b\u00ebhen si t\u00eb \u201chuaj\u201d n\u00eb familje dhe po i k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb jasht\u00eb saj. Shoh realitetin dhe ndjehem e shqet\u00ebsuar sa s\u2019mund ta duroj dot k\u00ebt\u00eb realitet dhe kam frik\u00eb nga martesa. Un\u00eb s\u2019do ta duroja dot tradhtin\u00eb sepse ajo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm \u201cikje fizike\u201d te nj\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22554"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22554\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}