{"id":22455,"date":"2019-05-20T20:00:06","date_gmt":"2019-05-20T18:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=22455"},"modified":"2019-05-20T19:08:08","modified_gmt":"2019-05-20T17:08:08","slug":"%ef%bb%bfku-e-gjejne-durimin-agjeruesit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/05\/%ef%bb%bfku-e-gjejne-durimin-agjeruesit\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffKu e gjejn\u00eb durimin agj\u00ebruesit?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>&#8211; Dr. Demiri, ju kam par\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb televizion duke folur p\u00ebr dobit\u00eb e agj\u00ebrimit, por kam ende nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr ju&#8230; Ju lutem t\u00eb m\u00eb shpjegoni nj\u00eb gj\u00eb: \u00c7far\u00eb i g\u00ebzon k\u00ebta agj\u00ebruesit? Ku e gjejn\u00eb ata gjith\u00eb at\u00eb fuqi durimi q\u00eb rrin\u00eb pa pik\u00ebn e ujit n\u00eb pellgun e vap\u00ebs?! Me dashuri, Elisabeta. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Dr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist:<\/em> &#8211;<\/strong> E nderuara Elisabeta, nuk mund t\u00eb mos i p\u00ebrgjigjem letr\u00ebs suaj pa ju fal\u00ebnderuar m\u00eb par\u00eb! Megjith\u00ebse ka kaluar koha e agj\u00ebrimit, ka nga ata q\u00eb mbajn\u00eb akoma dit\u00ebt q\u00eb i kan\u00eb t\u00eb munguara. Tani q\u00eb po e lexoja letr\u00ebn, m\u00eb erdhi p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur sepse dje isha i pranish\u00ebm n\u00eb nj\u00eb dialog t\u00eb till\u00eb: Nj\u00eb miku im, pedagog, i tha nipit t\u00eb tij agj\u00ebrues, besimtar: \u201cSa fatkeq q\u00eb t\u00eb shoh more djal\u00eb pa uj\u00eb n\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vap\u00eb!\u201d. Nipi buz\u00ebqeshi dhe ia ktheu: \u201cO dajo, fatkeq\u00eb jeni ju q\u00eb nuk agj\u00ebroni e jo ne!\u201d. Miku im pedagog qeshi dhe m\u2019u drejtua: \u201cA e sheh more profesor se \u00e7far\u00eb mendjeje kan\u00eb k\u00ebta?!\u201d, mir\u00ebpo u \u00e7udit nga admirimi q\u00eb un\u00eb shfaqa p\u00ebr djalin 18 vje\u00e7ar, nipin e tij, t\u00eb cilit dhe ku, nd\u00ebr t\u00eb tjera, i thash\u00eb se agj\u00ebrimi \u00ebsht\u00eb sh\u00ebndet, disiplin\u00eb, vet\u00ebpastrim i organizmit nga \u201chelmet\u201d dhe tepricat, dhjamrat, \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebp\u00ebrmbajtje, \u00ebsht\u00eb ta v\u00ebsh trurin n\u00ebn \u201ckomand\u00eb\u201d dhe truri t\u00eb komandoj\u00eb bukur trupin, \u00ebsht\u00eb jet\u00ebgjat\u00ebsi, \u00ebsht\u00eb shp\u00ebtim nga droga, duhani, alkooli etj. Ai m\u00eb pa n\u00eb sy dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cP\u00ebr at\u00eb Zot, aq mir\u00eb e ke ti! Un\u00eb jam lazaratas e banoj prej 6 dekadash n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, por po t\u00eb kisha para, do t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtoja nj\u00eb xhami n\u00eb mes t\u00eb Lazaratit, sepse droga po na e merr n\u00eb qaf\u00eb brezin e ri, kurse besimtar\u00ebt as nuk mund t\u2019i shtroj\u00eb, as nuk mund ta p\u00ebrdorin e as e tregtojn\u00eb dot at\u00eb, as duhanin, as alkoolin, as bixhozin, as kurv\u00ebrin\u00eb, as, as&#8230;\u201d. U kuptuam shum\u00eb mir\u00eb me kolegun tim, por ai p\u00ebrs\u00ebri shtoi: \u201cDakord, po p\u00ebrse gjith\u00eb kjo vuajtje, plot nj\u00eb muaj agj\u00ebrim n\u00eb pikun e vap\u00ebs!\u201d. \u201cKjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201cvuajtje\u201d e bukur p\u00ebr t\u00eb shmangur shum\u00eb vuajtje t\u00eb tjera, ia ktheva un\u00eb. Ti vet\u00eb m\u00eb ke th\u00ebn\u00eb se neve, edhe ushtria apo zbori na kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb mir\u00eb, apo jo?\u201d, qesha un\u00eb dhe qesh\u00ebm t\u00eb tre. I thash\u00eb k\u00ebto, e nderuara Elisabeta, jo p\u00ebr t\u00eb treguar dobit\u00eb e agj\u00ebrimit, sepse ato jan\u00eb provuar gjat\u00eb mij\u00ebra-vje\u00e7ar\u00ebve dhe as shkenc\u00ebtari m\u00eb i zot ateist, nuk i hedh dot posht\u00eb, por t\u2019i thash\u00eb k\u00ebto sepse askush m\u00eb bukur sesa vet\u00eb agj\u00ebruesi nuk e ndjen e nuk e kupton g\u00ebzimin dhe k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb e agj\u00ebrimit, aq sa besimtar\u00ebt mezi e presin k\u00ebt\u00eb muaj t\u00eb shenjt\u00eb dhe i merr malli pasi ai ik\u00ebn. Po t\u00eb ishte v\u00ebrtet aq shum\u00eb vuajtje, si do t\u00eb thoshim ne, ata i merr malli p\u00ebr \u201cvuajtjet\u201d(?!). Me siguri, ju, si lexuese e kulturuar, k\u00ebto i dini, por k\u00ebrkoni nga un\u00eb nj\u00eb shpjegim disi m\u00eb \u201cshkencor\u201d dhe un\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqem t\u2019jua jap at\u00eb. Fjala \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr besimin dhe besimtarin. Besimi \u00ebsht\u00eb ligji themelor i jet\u00ebs. Raporti nd\u00ebrmjet besimit dhe suksesit \u00ebsht\u00eb: 50:50, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se aq sa do t\u00eb besosh n\u00eb aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e tua aq edhe do t\u00eb kesh sukses. Kjo ndodh sepse mendimi q\u00eb e formulon besimin, krijon edhe energjin\u00eb e caktuar. Ata q\u00eb duan t\u00eb ken\u00eb suksese t\u00eb larta, duhet t\u00eb ken\u00eb edhe besim t\u00eb madh. Por, ku ka besim m\u00eb t\u00eb madh sesa besimi te Zoti? K\u00ebshtu, pra, besimtari e kupton se gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me agj\u00ebrimin \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje vullneti e zbatimi. Ai q\u00eb agj\u00ebron, i ka v\u00ebn\u00eb vetes nj\u00eb q\u00ebllim q\u00eb ai e konsideron t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm e me shum\u00eb vler\u00eb. Prandaj ai \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje q\u00eb bashk\u00eb me besimin, t\u00eb manifestoj\u00eb edhe aft\u00ebsi shum\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha p\u00ebrpunuese e duruese, ndaj mos u \u00e7uditni t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb edhe k\u00ebshtu: Ai q\u00eb agj\u00ebron, t\u00eb ket\u00eb m\u00eb pak etje apo vap\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin vend me dik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb nuk agj\u00ebron. \u00cbsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtetuar shkenc\u00ebrisht se vet\u00eb besimi, duke qen\u00eb frym\u00ebzues, b\u00ebn q\u00eb veprat e m\u00ebdha dhe veprimtaria e madhe t\u00eb arrihen dy her\u00eb m\u00eb shpejt dhe m\u00eb leht\u00eb. Ja \u00e7far\u00eb ka th\u00ebn\u00eb G\u00ebte i famsh\u00ebm: \u201cD\u00ebshirat tona jan\u00eb parandjenja t\u00eb aft\u00ebsis\u00eb, t\u00eb cilat gjenden te ne dhe jan\u00eb kasnec\u00eb t\u00eb asaj q\u00eb jemi n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb\u201d. \u00c7do d\u00ebshir\u00eb e arsyeshme mund t\u00eb plot\u00ebsohet pasi kufijt\u00eb e saj jan\u00eb t\u00eb preksh\u00ebm, mjafton q\u00eb t\u00eb fillojm\u00eb di\u00e7ka e ta duam at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb. E gjith\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsia e agj\u00ebruesit \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb dy-tri dit\u00ebt e para, sa t\u00eb dilet nga ajo q\u00eb ne psikolog\u00ebt e quajm\u00eb \u201czona e rehatis\u00eb\u201d dhe pastaj \u201cdhimbja\u201d nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb dhimbje, por frym\u00ebzim e k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsi. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb agj\u00ebrojn\u00eb, e ndjejn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb frym\u00ebzim dhe energji, aq sa shkruajn\u00eb edhe poezi apo k\u00ebndojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb \u201cilahi\u201d, edhe pse thuhet se nuk k\u00ebndohet me barkun bosh. Kur kam studiuar n\u00eb Lond\u00ebr p\u00ebr agj\u00ebrimin dhe dobit\u00eb e tij, m\u00eb kan\u00eb folur jo vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb profesor i imi me origjin\u00eb turke, por edhe shkenc\u00ebtar\u00ebt per\u00ebndimor\u00eb ose jo religjioz\u00eb: Besimi \u00ebsht\u00eb aq i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm sa ndikon edhe n\u00eb sh\u00ebrimin e s\u00ebmundjeve. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, nuk do t\u00eb zgjatem sepse kam folur n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjet e m\u00ebparshme se si i sh\u00ebron \u201cfeja\u201d s\u00ebmundjet, tamam si\u00e7 vepron sugjestioni apo autosugjestioni i fuqish\u00ebm q\u00eb induktojm\u00eb te klient\u00ebt ne psikolog\u00ebt (po t\u00eb jemi t\u00eb \u201czot\u00ebt) me psikoterapi apo hipnoterapi. Kur \u00e7iklisti Amstrong 7 her\u00eb kampion bote doli me kancer dhe shpalli se do ta sh\u00ebronte veten, askush s\u2019e besoi, por kur ai pas 1 viti rezultoi pa kancer, t\u00eb gjith\u00eb doktor\u00ebt u mahnit\u00ebn. Ai pra, me ndihm\u00ebn e psikologut dhe t\u00eb gruas, b\u00ebri at\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019mund ta b\u00ebnte e t\u00ebr\u00eb doktorata e bot\u00ebs, sikur t\u00eb mblidheshin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb bashk\u00eb. Ndaj ne doktor\u00ebt u themi t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00ebve se duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi t\u00eb tre s\u00eb bashku, un\u00eb, ti dhe ila\u00e7et, q\u00eb s\u00ebmundja t\u00eb zhduket. Besimi pra \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm p\u00ebr sh\u00ebrimin e s\u00ebmundjeve, por duhen edhe ila\u00e7et (preferoj ato bimoret) t\u00eb cilat edhe me fe jan\u00eb quajtur si \u201csebepi\u201d i mir\u00eb p\u00ebr sh\u00ebrim, pasi nuk ka s\u00ebmundje q\u00eb t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb edhe ila\u00e7in. Krijuesi, ashtu si\u00e7 i krijoi s\u00ebmundjet, ka krijuar dhe \u201cantis\u00ebmundjet\u201d te vet\u00eb njeriu dhe te barnat, t\u00eb cilat duhet t\u00eb dim\u00eb si t\u2019i gjejm\u00eb e si t\u2019i p\u00ebrdorim. Besoj se u sqaruam. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; Dr. Demiri, ju kam par\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb televizion duke folur p\u00ebr dobit\u00eb e agj\u00ebrimit, por kam ende nj\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr ju&#8230; Ju lutem t\u00eb m\u00eb shpjegoni nj\u00eb gj\u00eb: \u00c7far\u00eb i g\u00ebzon k\u00ebta agj\u00ebruesit? Ku e gjejn\u00eb ata gjith\u00eb at\u00eb fuqi durimi q\u00eb rrin\u00eb pa pik\u00ebn e ujit n\u00eb pellgun e vap\u00ebs?! Me dashuri, Elisabeta. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":22456,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22455\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}