Un\u0451 q\u0451 po ju\nshkruaj, tashm\u0451 jam grua dhe kam krijuar familjen time, por jeta ime ka qen\u0451 e\ndo t\u0451 jet\u0451 p\u0451rs\u0451ri nj\u0451 ferr i v\u0451rtet\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kur isha n\u0451 adoleshenc\u0451, si t\u00eb gjith\u0451 moshatar\u0451t e mi, u dashurova me nj\u0451 djal\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai ishte tre vjet m\u0451 i madh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai m\u0451 propozoi dhe un\u0451, edhe pse m\u0451 p\u0451lqente shum\u0451, n\u0451 fillim b\u0451ja sikur nuk doja, por kjo zgjati p\u0451r pak dhe k\u0451shtu, u lidh\u0451m. Mir\u0451po un\u00eb jetoja n\u0451 fshat dhe, q\u00eb t\u0451 ndiqja m\u0451simet rregullisht, rrija te tezja. Edhe prind\u0451rit kishin shum\u0451 besim se un\u0451 do t\u0451 mbaroja shkoll\u0451n dhe nuk do t\u0451 kisha ndonj\u0451 problem. Askujt nuk i shkonte mendja se kisha t\u0451 dashur, sepse isha shum\u0451 e urt\u0451 dhe ndryshoja shum\u0451 nga vajza e tezes e cila ishte nj\u0451 tip shum\u0451 i hedhur. N\u0451 fakt, edhe nj\u0451 fjal\u0451 e urt\u0451 thot\u0451 \u201cth\u0451ngjill i mbuluar\u201d e cila \u0451sht\u0451 nj\u0451 shprehje me vend, por lidhja jon\u0451 nuk kishte asgj\u0451 t\u0451 keqe. T\u0451 dy e donim shum\u0451 nj\u0451ri-tjetrin. Un\u0451 isha e dashuruar marr\u0451zisht, por akoma nuk i kisha treguar askujt. Kur lidhja jon\u0451 kishte nevoj\u0451 p\u0451r koh\u0451 q\u0451 t\u0451 kalonim bashk\u0451, ia tregova vajz\u0451s s\u0451 tezes dhe ajo m\u0451 ndihmoi shum\u0451, por pak m\u0451 shum\u0451 se \u00e7\u2019duhet, sepse un\u00eb mbeta shtatz\u0451n\u0451. Isha 17 vje\u00e7e dhe kjo do t\u0451 ishte nj\u0451 bomb\u0451 p\u0451r familjen time. Nuk kisha guxim t\u2019u tregoja p\u0451r k\u0451t\u0451. Kur i dashuri im e mori vesh, tha se nuk ishte problem dhe ne do t\u0451 fejoheshim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kur ishim me\npushime, babai i tij erdhi q\u0451 t\u0451 takonte familjen time. Prind\u0451rit dhe\nv\u0451llez\u0451rit e mi u t\u0451rbuan. Ata n\u0451 mendjen e tyre m\u00eb quanin aq t\u0451 urt\u0451 sa nuk\nmund ta imagjinonin nj\u0451 gj\u0451 t\u0451 till\u0451. Babai i t\u0451 dashurit nuk u tregoi se isha\nshtatz\u0451n\u0451 sepse e pa q\u00eb ishin shum\u0451 t\u0451 irrituar. Sapo ai iku, ata m\u0451 mor\u0451n e m\u0451\nrrah\u0451n aq shum\u0451 sa mendova se mos abortova, por jo. Zoti m\u0451 ndihmoi. T\u0451 nes\u00ebrmen,\nbabi m\u0451 hoqi nga shkolla dhe m\u0451 than\u0451 se nuk do t\u0451 shkoja m\u0451 n\u0451 shkoll\u0451. Isha\nnx\u0451n\u0451se shum\u0451 e mir\u0451 dhe u m\u0451rzita shum\u0451 p\u0451r k\u0451t\u0451, por m\u0451 shum\u0451 mendoja se si do\nt\u2019u thoja q\u00eb isha shtatz\u0451n\u0451. N\u0451 fillim do ta fshihja leht\u0451 sepse barku von\u0451 do\nfillonte t\u0451 dukej, por si do t\u00eb b\u0451ja?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rrija n\u0451 fshat dhe\nshpesh, takohesha me shoqen time. Nj\u0451 dit\u0451, kur po rrinim me shoqen time n\u0451n\nnj\u0451 pem\u0451 q\u0451 sapo kishte \u00e7elur, erdhi i dashuri im. Shoqja u largua\ndhe ai u afrua tek un\u0451. Na kishte marr\u0451 malli shum\u0451 p\u0451r nj\u0451ri-tjetrin. Ai ishte\nn\u0451 merak p\u0451r mua dhe p\u0451r f\u0451mij\u0451n. Fol\u0451m s\u0451 bashku dhe kuptuam se jeta jon\u00eb duke\nq\u00ebndruar t\u0451 ndar\u0451, nuk kishte kuptim. Ai u largua dhe m\u0451 premtoi se do t\u00eb vinte\np\u0451rs\u0451ri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kur shkova n\u0451\nsht\u0451pi, asnj\u0451 nuk e kuptoi se ishim takuar. K\u0451shtu, u \u00e7lirova dhe\nmendova se mund ta shtyja koh\u0451n tani duke pritur \u00e7astet e takimet\nme t\u0451. U takuam disa her\u0451 n\u0451 t\u0451 nj\u0451jtin vend. Ai m\u0451 tha se nuk do t\u00eb m\u0451 linte\naty. M\u0451 tha t\u0451 vendosja q\u0451 t\u0451 ikja me t\u0451. M\u0451 tha t\u0451 mendohesha mir\u0451 sepse mund\nt\u0451 mos i shihja njer\u0451zit e mi p\u0451r nj\u0451 koh\u0451 t\u0451 gjat\u0451. Atij nuk i thash\u0451, por n\u0451\nmendjen time, \u00e7do gj\u0451 ishte n\u0451 rregull, sepse tashm\u0451 e kisha kuptuar se njer\u0451zit e mi\nnuk m\u0451 donin aq shum\u0451 sa thonin. Ata penguan dashurin\u0451 time t\u0451 madhe dhe vun\u0451\ndor\u0451 mbi mua vet\u0451m se e dinin q\u00eb kisha nj\u0451 t\u0451 dashur, po kur t\u0451 merrnin vesh q\u00eb\nisha shtatz\u0451n\u0451, do m\u0451 vrisnin fare. U ndava nga ai dhe isha e lumtur. M\u0451 n\u0451\nfund, do t\u00eb isha me t\u0451.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sapo shkova n\u0451\nsht\u0451pi, pash\u00eb se t\u0451 gjith\u0451 ishin grumbulluar n\u0451 kuzhin\u0451. Ishin t\u0451 t\u0451rbuar nga\nnervat. N\u0451na kishte shkuar te sht\u0451pia e shoq\u0451s dhe kishte par\u0451 q\u00eb ajo ishte n\u0451\nsht\u00ebpi dhe un\u0451 nuk isha me t\u0451. U kishte th\u0451n\u0451 babit dhe v\u0451llez\u0451rve dhe ata po\nprisnin t\u0451 shkoja un\u0451. U futa brenda dhe menj\u0451her\u0451, n\u0451na u ngrit n\u0451 k\u0451mb\u0451, si\nnj\u0451 p\u0451rbind\u0451sh, e m\u0451 tha:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Ku ishe moj qelb\u0451sir\u0451?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Me shoqen, po b\u0451nim muhabet dhe u\nvonova pak. M\u0451 fal!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– K\u0451 g\u0451njen ti?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo m\u2019u sul dhe m\u0451\nkapi flok\u0451t. N\u0451 at\u0451 \u00e7ast, kur u b\u0451 gati t\u0451 m\u0451 gjuante, un\u0451 thirra:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– T\u0451 lutem, mos! Do m\u0451 vras\u0451sh\nf\u0451mij\u0451n!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo shtangu dhe u\nzbraps. N\u0451 at\u0451 koh\u0451, v\u0451llez\u0451rit u ngrit\u0451n n\u0451 k\u0451mb\u0451. Vet\u0451m babi vuri duart n\u0451\nkok\u0451 dhe nuk l\u0451vizte. T\u0451 gjith\u0451 mbet\u0451n t\u0451 ngrir\u0451 p\u0451r pak minuta dhe m\u0451 pas, u\nul\u0451n e filluan t\u0451 thoshin se asgj\u0451 tjet\u0451r nuk e shlyente k\u0451t\u0451 turp, vet\u0451m\nvdekja. N\u0451na m\u0451 \u00e7oi n\u0451 dhom\u0451n time dhe m\u0451 urdh\u0451roi t\u0451 dilja vet\u0451m p\u0451r n\u0451 banj\u0451. Isha\ngati t\u0451 vdisja. Ishte nj\u0451 gj\u0451 s\u0451 cil\u0451s nuk e dija si do t\u2019i shp\u0451toja. D\u0451gjoja\nz\u0451ra nga kuzhina q\u0451 flisnin m\u0451 eg\u0451rsi. Pas nja nj\u0451 ore, n\u0451na erdhi dhe m\u0451 tha\nt\u0451 vishesha, se do t\u0451 shkonim n\u0451 nj\u0451 vend. Ashtu b\u0451ra dhe pas nj\u0451 gjys\u0451m ore,\nisha duke ecur me n\u0451n\u0451n time dhe nuk e dija ku po shkoja. M\u0451 pas ndaluam te spitali\ndhe nj\u0451 grua doli e na takoi. Shkuam n\u0451 nj\u0451 dhom\u0451 dhe infermierja i k\u0451rkoi\nn\u0451n\u0451s t\u0451 largohej e t\u0451 mos kishte merak, se \u00e7do gj\u0451 do t\u0451\nshkonte mir\u0451. N\u0451 fakt, p\u0451r ata shkoi mir\u0451, por un\u0451, n\u0451 at\u0451 \u00e7ast\nq\u0451 e kuptova se do t\u0451 ma hiqnin f\u0451mij\u0451n, vdiqa dhe q\u0451 nga ai \u00e7ast,\njeta ime kishte mbaruar. U kthyem n\u0451 sht\u0451pi me makin\u0451 dhe m\u0451 fut\u0451n n\u0451 dhom\u0451n\ntime. N\u0451na u ul t\u0451 flinte n\u0451 krevatin tjet\u0451r dhe her\u0451 pas here me pyeste a\nkisha dhimbje. E g\u0451njeja se nuk kisha dhimbje kur p\u0451rve\u00e7 dhimbjeve t\u0451\nbarkut, kisha dhimbje t\u0451 tmerrshme n\u0451 shpirt. Un\u0451 tashm\u0451 nuk ndjeja asgj\u0451 p\u0451r\nn\u0451n\u0451n time. Ajo m\u0451 dukej thjesht si nj\u0451 p\u0451rbind\u0451sh nga i cili nuk do t\u0451\nshp\u0451toja kurr\u0451.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
T\u0451 nes\u0451rmen, kur\ndoli drita, un\u0451 isha mir\u0451 nga sh\u0451ndeti. F\u0451mija im ishte zhdukur brenda pak kohe\ndhe nuk m\u0451 kishte munduar aspak, nuk m\u00eb kishte shkaktuar asgj\u0451 n\u0451 trup. K\u0451to\nmendime m\u2019i nd\u0451rpren\u0451 disa gjurm\u0451 t\u0451 r\u0451nda n\u0451p\u0451r sht\u0451pi. Dola n\u0451 korridor dhe\nn\u0451na m\u0451 urdh\u0451roi menj\u0451her\u0451 t\u0451 futesha brenda. Pas pak trokiti dera me forc\u0451.\nIshte policia. D\u0451gjova t\u0451 flisnin me z\u0451 t\u0451 lart\u0451 dhe m\u0451 pas, qet\u0451si. N\u0451 dhom\u0451 u\nfut n\u0451na duke m\u0451 ul\u0451ritur:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– \u00c7far\u0451 na b\u0451re moj?!\nPo tani, si t\u2019ia b\u0451j p\u0451r djemt\u0451 e mi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
E kuptova se \u00e7far\u0451\nkishte ndodhur. Ata i kishin arrestuar. Po p\u0451rse? N\u0451na vet\u0451m ul\u0451rinte dhe\nharronte se edhe ajo mbyti f\u0451mij\u0451n tim. Pas pak erdhi tezja, me t\u0451 cil\u0451n n\u0451na\nime nuk fliste q\u0451kur kishte filluar historia ime, sepse e akuzonte se ajo m\u0451\nkishte futur n\u0451 rrug\u0451 t\u0451 keqe, mir\u0451po tezja nuk ngjante aspak me n\u0451n\u0451n time.\nIshte nj\u0451 grua e urt\u0451 dhe shum\u0451 e duruar e jo si ime m\u0451. Tezja u fut n\u0451 sht\u0451pi\ndhe i tha se kishte ardhur p\u0451r mua dhe p\u0451r djemt\u0451. Sapo kishte d\u0451gjuar se i\nkishin arrestuar dhe nuk do t\u0451 dilte nga sht\u0451pia edhe po t\u0451 mos i fliste ajo me\ngoj\u0451. Por, vajza e tezes m\u0451 dha nj\u0451 lajm q\u0451 as nuk e mendoja se do ta d\u0451gjoja\nndonj\u0451her\u0451: V\u0451llez\u0451rit e mi kishin vrar\u0451 t\u0451 dashurin tim. N\u00eb at\u00eb moment, m\u0451 ra t\u0451\nfik\u0451t. Kur u p\u0451rmenda pas pak, kujtoj tezen time mbi kok\u0451 duke th\u0451n\u0451 emrin tim\ndhe \u201ct\u0451 keqen tezja\u201d, nd\u0451rsa menj\u0451her\u0451 d\u0451gjova fjal\u0451t e mamas\u0451 sime e cila\nthoshte q\u0451 duhej t\u0451 vdisja se un\u0451 isha shkaktarja e gjith\u0451 k\u0451saj. D\u0451shiroja t\u0451\nmos isha p\u0451rmendur m\u0451 dhe t\u0451 bashkohesha me t\u00eb dashurin tim t\u0451 pakt\u0451n n\u0451 bot\u0451n\ntjet\u0451r, meqen\u0451se n\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451 bot\u0451 nuk na lan\u0451 t\u0451 rrinim bashk\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ishin dit\u0451 t\u0451\ntmerrshme ato q\u0451 po kaloja. Nga m\u0451rzia e madhe kisha shum\u0451 probleme pas\nabortit, por mamaja ime as nuk m\u00eb futej n\u0451 dhom\u0451, vet\u0451m rrinte n\u0451 dritare duke\nmenduar p\u0451r v\u0451llez\u0451rit. Babai kishte dit\u0451 q\u0451 nuk fliste me ask\u0451nd, por dilte e\nrrinte gjith\u0451 dit\u0451n duke u p\u00ebrjekur p\u00ebr lirimin e v\u0451llez\u0451rve. Tezja m\u0451 solli\nnj\u0451 infermiere e cila m\u0451 b\u0451ri disa gjilp\u0451ra dhe m\u0451 vinte nj\u0451 serum, por shpejt\nu b\u0451ra mir\u0451 dhe tezja m\u0451 mori te sht\u0451pia e saj. P\u0451r n\u0451n\u0451n un\u0451 nuk ekzistoja. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se si e rregulloi\nbabai nuk e di dhe v\u0451llez\u0451rit u liruan, por ata tashm\u0451 rrinin brenda nga frika\nse mos i vrisnin njer\u0451zit e t\u0451 dashurit. Pasi kaluan kat\u0451r muaj, n\u0451na erdhi te\ntezja dhe m\u0451 urdh\u0451roi si gjithmon\u0451 q\u0451 t\u0451 shkoja me t\u0451. Tezja iu lut t\u0451 m\u0451 linte,\npor ajo nuk pranoi. Shkova n\u0451 sht\u0451pi, por \u00e7\u2019t\u0451 shihja? Sht\u0451pia\nishte kthyer n\u0451 nj\u0451 burg. V\u0451llez\u0451rit dhe t\u0451 gjith\u0451 nuk guxonin t\u0451 kalonin\npragun e sht\u0451pis\u0451. Vet\u0451m n\u0451na punonte \u00e7\u2019t\u0451 mundte dhe varf\u0451ria kishte b\u0451r\u0451 folen\u0451\nn\u0451 sht\u0451pin\u0451 ton\u0451. N\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451 m\u0451nyr\u0451, kaluan vite. Un\u0451 isha nj\u0451 e gjall\u0451 q\u0451 ecte\ndhe nj\u0451 sh\u0451rb\u0451tore e familjes sime. Edhe pse kishte kaluar shum\u0451 koh\u0451, asnjeri\nnuk m\u0451 fliste me goj\u0451. Dit\u0451t m\u0451 t\u0451 lumtura ishin kur vinte tezja ime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Por ja q\u0451 e keqja\nnuk ka fund ata kishin vendosur t\u0451 m\u0451 martonin. Meq\u0451 nuk jetonin dot m\u0451 k\u0451shtu\nn\u0451 varf\u0451ri, m\u0451 kishin gjetur nj\u0451 burr\u0451. Ai ishte i ndar\u0451 nga gruaja dhe ishte\n32 vjet m\u0451 i madh se un\u0451. Ai ishte i pasur, k\u0451shtu q\u0451 familja ime do t\u0451 mund t\u0451\nmbijetonte. V\u0451llez\u0451rit kishin vite q\u0451 nuk punonin dhe nuk dilnin jasht\u0451\nsht\u0451pis\u0451. Punonin grat\u0451 e tyre dhe n\u0451na, por nuk mjaftonin k\u0451to t\u0451 ardhura. N\u0451\nk\u0451t\u0451 form\u0451, un\u0451 do t\u0451 paguaja edhe p\u0451r ato q\u0451 i kisha sjell\u0451 familjes son\u0451 t\u0451\n\u201cmrekullueshme\u201d, si\u00e7 e quanin ata. Po t\u0451 kishte qen\u0451 familje e mrekullueshme, nuk do t\u0451\nkishin arritur n\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451 pik\u0451, por un\u0451 do t\u0451 isha martuar e do t\u0451 kishim jetuar\nt\u0451 gjith\u0451 t\u0451 lumtur. E keqja m\u0451 e madhe ishte se ata nuk ishin penduar aspak. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nejse, u martova\ndhe tani jetoj me burrin q\u0451 m\u0451 zgjodh\u0451n. F\u0451mij\u0451 nuk kam b\u0451r\u0451 dot, p\u0451r shkak t\u0451\ngjendjes q\u0451 kisha pas abortit. Burri im \u0451sht\u0451 nj\u0451 njeri i mir\u0451, por mua m\u0451\nduket se ka t\u0451 nj\u0451jtat mendime si familja ime. Ai mendon se un\u0451 nuk jam e denj\u0451\np\u0451r asgj\u0451. Edhe njer\u0451zit e tij, ashtu mendojn\u0451, pavar\u0451sisht se nuk e shprehin,\npor mua nuk m\u0451 interesojn\u0451 mendimet e askujt. Shpirti, ndjenjat, dashuria,\nmir\u0451sia dhe t\u0451 gjitha kan\u0451 vdekur brenda meje. Jeton vet\u0451m trupi im, i cili\nendet n\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451 jet\u0451 vet\u0451m me nj\u0451 q\u0451llim, duke pritur dit\u0451n e bashkimit me t\u0451\ndashurin tim n\u0451 parajs\u0451. Them n\u0451 parajs\u0451 sepse e besoj se ai \u0451sht\u0451 atje sepse\nishte njeriu m\u0451 i past\u0451r dhe m\u0451 i mir\u0451 i k\u0451saj bote dhe un\u0451 besoj se n\u0451 parajs\u0451,\nnuk \u0451sht\u0451 m\u0451kat t\u0451 dashurosh. Un\u0451 vet\u0451m at\u0451 b\u0451ra, dashurova si gjith\u0451\nbashk\u0451moshatar\u0451t e mi; t\u0451 tjerat i b\u0451ri familja ime, n\u0451n udh\u0451heqjen e n\u0451n\u0451s\nsime. Ata jan\u0451 fajtor\u0451t!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u0451 q\u0451 po ju shkruaj, tashm\u0451 jam grua dhe kam krijuar familjen time, por jeta ime ka qen\u0451 e do t\u0451 jet\u0451 p\u0451rs\u0451ri nj\u0451 ferr i v\u0451rtet\u0451. Kur isha n\u0451 adoleshenc\u0451, si t\u00eb gjith\u0451 moshatar\u0451t e mi, u dashurova me nj\u0451 djal\u0451. Ai ishte tre vjet m\u0451 i madh. Ai m\u0451 propozoi dhe un\u0451, edhe […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[2106],"class_list":["post-22202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-historia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22202"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22202\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}