Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb rreth t\u00eb tridhjetave. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kam pak koh\u00eb q\u00eb kam humbur mamin dhe ende nuk m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb zvog\u00ebluar dhimbja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ndoshta kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb dhimbje q\u00eb nuk shuhet asnj\u00ebher\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, por un\u00eb mendoj se p\u00ebr mua \u00ebsht\u00eb pak ndryshe. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mamaja ime vdiq nga kanceri. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, ajo, vitet e fundit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs i kaloi n\u00ebp\u00ebr spitale, duke mbartur s\u00ebmundjen dhe tradhtin\u00eb e babit tim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mund t\u00eb habiteni\nteksa lexoni k\u00ebta rreshta t\u00eb historis\u00eb sime, por ja q\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb. Un\u00eb tani q\u00eb po ju flas nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb se nuk flas me\nbabain tim, flas vet\u00ebm sa p\u00ebr sy e faqe, si\u00e7 i thon\u00eb. Po ju tregoj se si ndodhi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00ebna ime u s\u00ebmur n\u00eb\nmosh\u00ebn 45 vje\u00e7are. Ishte nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr e\nfort\u00eb dhe askush nuk mendonte se do t\u00eb vdiste ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, jo m\u00eb aq shpejt sa\nvdiq ajo. Asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk e kisha par\u00eb t\u00eb rrinte\nshtrir\u00eb as nga ndonj\u00eb grip e as nga ndonj\u00eb s\u00ebmundje tjet\u00ebr. N\u00eb fillim, ajo nuk\nna tha ne f\u00ebmij\u00ebve. Un\u00eb dhe v\u00ebllai, i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i vog\u00ebl, pak a shum\u00eb\ndyshonim, sepse ajo nuk ishte aq aktive sa m\u00eb par\u00eb, la pun\u00ebn dhe pun\u00ebt e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb\ni b\u00ebnte me hope. Derisa u s\u00ebmur ajo, ne nuk kishim patur nevoj\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebnim as gj\u00ebrat\nelementare t\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesjes p\u00ebr veten, mir\u00ebpo ajo po lodhej \u00e7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe kur i b\u00ebnte t\u00eb gjitha pun\u00ebt, rrinte dy dit\u00eb\nshtrir\u00eb, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb ne filluam t\u00eb b\u00ebnim \u00e7do pun\u00eb sht\u00ebpie\ndhe kujdeseshim shum\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb. P\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ajo\nna fal\u00ebnderonte dhe na thoshte se sa t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsohej \u00e7do gj\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte si m\u00eb par\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00eb fakt, k\u00ebto ishin\nvet\u00ebm fjal\u00eb, sepse ajo sa vinte e b\u00ebhej m\u00eb keq. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, gjendja ishte shum\u00eb\ne r\u00ebnduar. Ne ishim m\u00ebsuar me \u201csh\u00ebrb\u00ebtore\u201d dhe nuk arrinim t\u00eb punonim e t\u00eb\nishim t\u00eb qet\u00eb. N\u00ebna vet\u00ebm na v\u00ebshtronte, mbyllte syt\u00eb e dukej sikur lutej q\u00eb t\u00eb\nsh\u00ebrohej sa m\u00eb shpejt e t\u00eb na vinte n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb. E di se edhe n\u00eb momentet m\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira\najo mendonte p\u00ebr ne dhe jo p\u00ebr vete. E till\u00eb ishte ajo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
P\u00ebr fat, n\u00ebn\u00ebs i\ndoli jasht\u00eb shtetit nj\u00eb kush\u00ebri i cili do ta ndihmonte t\u00eb b\u00ebnte nj\u00eb kur\u00eb shum\u00eb\nt\u00eb shtrenjt\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do ta zhdukte s\u00ebmundjen, por do ta ngadal\u00ebsonte at\u00eb. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb\nishim t\u00eb g\u00ebzuar dhe sidomos, n\u00ebna. I kujtoj gjithmon\u00eb fjal\u00ebt q\u00eb tha n\u00eb at\u00eb\nmoment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Faleminderit o\nZot q\u00eb m\u00eb solle edhe nj\u00eb shanc p\u00ebr mua e familjen time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kura zgjati disa\nmuaj. Gjat\u00eb k\u00ebsaj kohe q\u00eb n\u00ebna ishte jasht\u00eb shtetit, pash\u00eb nj\u00eb ndryshim t\u00eb madh\nte babai im. Ai dukej si m\u00eb i rinuar dhe me shum\u00eb energji. Mendoja se ishte\nashtu p\u00ebr faktin q\u00eb mamaja kishte ndoshta edhe nj\u00eb shanc p\u00ebr t\u00eb jetuar dhe me k\u00ebt\u00eb\nmendim n\u00eb kok\u00eb isha gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs. Edhe kur ai dilte e vonohej t\u00eb vinte n\u00eb\nsht\u00ebpi, mendoja se ishte nj\u00eb gj\u00eb e zakonshme, pas gjith\u00eb asaj torture q\u00eb kishte\nhequr me n\u00ebn\u00ebn. N\u00ebna u kthye dhe dukej shum\u00eb mir\u00eb. Ajo nuk ishte aq e fuqishme\nsa kishte qen\u00eb para s\u00ebmundjes, por ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb sesa kur u nis p\u00ebr kurim. T\u00eb\ngjith\u00eb ishim t\u00eb lumtur. Jeta vazhdoi gati normalisht, sepse n\u00ebna kishte nj\u00eb\nthes me ila\u00e7e e gjilp\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb,\npor ajo mund t\u00eb dilte, b\u00ebnte ndonj\u00eb pun\u00eb sht\u00ebpie, gatuante dhe k\u00ebto ishin mjaft\nme ato q\u00eb kishte hequr. Nganj\u00ebher\u00eb e shikoja se ngrihej me sy t\u00eb enjtur, por\nkisha pyetur doktoresh\u00ebn dhe ajo m\u00eb tha se mund ta kishte nga ila\u00e7et. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, kur u\nktheva n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, e pash\u00eb ulur n\u00eb divan dhe sapo m\u00eb pa mua, fshiu lot\u00ebt. U\ntremba dhe e pyeta se mos ishte e s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Ajo m\u00eb pa t\u00eb trembur dhe m\u00eb tha se\nnuk kishte gj\u00eb, vet\u00ebm ishte m\u00ebrzitur n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e nganj\u00ebher\u00eb i vinte vetvetiu t\u00eb\nqante. E kuptova se po m\u00eb g\u00ebnjente. U mendova shum\u00eb dhe mendja m\u00eb shkonte vet\u00ebm\nte s\u00ebmundja e saj. Ndoshta mjek\u00ebt i kishin th\u00ebn\u00eb ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb ne s\u2019e dinim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I pari t\u00eb cilit m\u00eb\nshkoi nd\u00ebrmend t\u2019ia thoja k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb ishte babai. Ai u habit dhe tha se doktor\u00ebt,\nn\u00ebse do t\u00eb kishte patur ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb, do na e thoshin. Ai m\u00eb qet\u00ebsoi duke m\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb\nse ajo ishte nj\u00eb grua e fort\u00eb dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb do\nta kalonte vet\u00eb, si gjithmon\u00eb. N\u00eb fakt, kur e mendoj tani bised\u00ebn time me baban\u00eb,\nkujtoj se n\u00eb syt\u00eb e tij at\u00eb \u00e7ast nuk\nkishte as shqet\u00ebsimin m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Q\u00eb nga ajo dit\u00eb, mamaja\nndryshoi. Ia shihja shpesh syt\u00eb me lot dhe ai entuziazmi q\u00eb kishte kur erdhi\nnga jasht\u00eb pas mjekimit, i kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb. M\u00eb vuri shum\u00eb n\u00eb dyshime. Nj\u00eb dit\u00eb e\ntakova maman\u00eb te lokali posht\u00eb pallatit. Ajo nuk dilte pa ne dhe kjo m\u00eb b\u00ebri\nshum\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypje, por m\u00eb tha se po m\u00eb priste mua sepse kishte qen\u00eb te tezja dhe\nkishte d\u00ebshir\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shkonim bashk\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, pronari i lokalit m\u00eb\npyeti se si ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00ebna. I thash\u00eb se pas kur\u00ebs ishte m\u00eb mir\u00eb, por ai m\u00eb tha\nse po m\u00eb pyeste se si u b\u00eb pas dit\u00ebs s\u00eb djeshme q\u00eb ishte ndier keq dhe m\u00eb\nkishte pritur mua, se nuk ngjitej dot. Menj\u00ebher\u00eb u ngjita lart dhe i thash\u00eb:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– N\u00ebn\u00eb, t\u00eb lutem, m\u00eb\ntrego si \u00ebsht\u00eb puna se po \u00e7mendem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Nuk ka asgj\u00eb p\u00ebr\nt\u2019u shqet\u00ebsuar, zemra ime. \u00cbsht\u00eb stresi i s\u00ebmundjes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Jo, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb,\nty t\u00eb mundon di\u00e7ka, por nuk do t\u00eb ma\nthuash sepse nuk do t\u00eb m\u00eb m\u00ebrzit\u00ebsh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Jo, bij\u00eb, nuk kam\nasgj\u00eb!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u00eb fakt, e mora si\nt\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, por q\u00eb nga ajo dit\u00eb, n\u00ebna sa vinte e b\u00ebhej m\u00eb keq. E shtruam n\u00eb\nspital dhe e b\u00ebnim me radh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndenjur me t\u00eb. At\u00eb dit\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb provim dhe\nbabai duhej t\u00eb vinte m\u00eb her\u00ebt nga puna e t\u00eb rrinte me maman\u00eb, por ai po vonohej.\nE mora n\u00eb telefon dhe ai ma mbylli. E mora p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, por ai e fiku telefonin dhe\nun\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb u ktheva nga mamaja dhe e pyeta se \u00e7\u2019mund t\u00eb kishte ngjar\u00eb. Ajo m\u00eb tha se e dinte ku mund ta gjeja. M\u00eb dha\nnj\u00eb adres\u00eb dhe shkova me vrap. Un\u00eb mendova se mos ishte ndonj\u00eb pun\u00eb e dyt\u00eb e\nbabait, por kur e gjeta se ku ishte adresa, u zhg\u00ebnjeva totalisht. Ajo ishte\nsht\u00ebpia e nj\u00eb gruaje q\u00eb nuk kishte em\u00ebr t\u00eb mir\u00eb n\u00eb at\u00eb lagje. Doja vet\u00ebm t\u00eb\nshkoja e t\u00eb trokisja q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrballesha me t\u00eb dy, por nuk kisha guxim. Prita\nderisa ai doli n\u00eb rrugic\u00eb dhe i dola p\u00ebrpara. Ai u turp\u00ebrua dhe nuk m\u00eb shihte\ndot n\u00eb sy, mir\u00ebpo edhe un\u00eb e kisha t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019i flisja keq sepse mamaja na\nka rritur me nj\u00eb edukat\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb familjare. Asnj\u00ebri nuk foli asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb. Heshtja\nishte forma m\u00eb e mir\u00eb e shpjegimit. T\u00eb dy, ashtu, pa folur, u drejtuam p\u00ebr nga\nspitali. N\u00ebna ishte shum\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb. Doktori na tha se nuk kishin \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i b\u00ebnin m\u00eb. E \u00e7uam p\u00ebr her\u00eb\nt\u00eb fundit n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. \u00c7do dit\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb ajo\npo tretej. Ajo m\u00eb tha se nuk kisha pse t\u00eb mbaja m\u00ebri me babain sepse \u00e7dokush\nmund ta kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb gj\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb. Sipas saj, ai kishte shkuar me nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr\nsepse ishte ndier shum\u00eb i vetmuar dhe k\u00ebrkonte nj\u00eb vend ku t\u00eb qet\u00ebsohej. N\u00ebna\nime ishte e mrekullueshme, edhe pse e dinte mir\u00eb se n\u00ebse babai do t\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb\ni s\u00ebmur\u00eb, ajo nuk do ta tradhtonte kurr\u00eb, prap\u00eb se prap\u00eb mundohej ta\njustifikonte veprimin e tij. Shumica e njer\u00ebzve nuk e mor\u00ebn vesh tradhtin\u00eb e\nbabait, por disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, e dinin. N\u00ebna vdiq dhe n\u00eb fund, kur u mblodh\u00ebm t\u00eb gjith\u00eb af\u00ebr saj, ajo na k\u00ebrkoi ta\nfalnim nj\u00ebri-tjetrin p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha ato gabime q\u00eb kishim b\u00ebr\u00eb, sepse i kishim b\u00ebr\u00eb\nnga d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi. V\u00ebllai nuk e kuptonte \u00e7far\u00eb po\nthoshte n\u00ebna, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb dhe babai e dinim mir\u00eb se p\u00ebrse e kishte fjal\u00ebn. Ajo\nvet\u00eb, edhe pse nuk e shprehte, e kishte vuajtur shum\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb tradhti dhe p\u00ebr\nshkak t\u00eb saj u p\u00ebrkeq\u00ebsua, por ajo kishte nj\u00eb shpirt t\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe dinte t\u00eb falte.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pas vdekjes s\u00eb saj\nshkova t\u00eb takoja gruan me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn kishte patur lidhje babai. Ajo, kur hapi der\u00ebn,\nu habit, megjithat\u00eb m\u00eb ftoi brenda. U ula n\u00eb nj\u00eb divan t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr n\u00eb sallon dhe\nmora fjal\u00ebn e para:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Ju m\u00eb njihni kush\njam, prandaj besoj nuk kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr prezantim. – Ajo tundi kok\u00ebn. Un\u00eb\nvazhdova me nj\u00eb z\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr dhe qortues: – Edhe pse mamaja ime ju ka\nfalur si ty ashtu edhe tim at\u00eb, un\u00eb nuk jua kam faluar. Nuk mund t\u2019ju fal\ntradhtin\u00eb e cila u b\u00eb shkak q\u00eb t\u00eb shtonte vuajtjet e n\u00ebn\u00ebs sime. Ajo ishte\nmjekuar dhe mjek\u00ebt ishin t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb se s\u00ebmundja ishte ngadal\u00ebsuar, por m\u00ebrzia e\ntradhtis\u00eb s\u00eb babait b\u00ebri q\u00eb kura t\u00eb mos kishte efekt. P\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb, gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn do\nt\u00eb t\u00eb kem hal\u00eb n\u00eb sy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Un\u00eb nuk kam faj, –\nm\u00eb nd\u00ebrpreu ajo. – Babai yt vinte sepse m\u00ebrzitej shum\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi dhe kishte\nnevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr dashuri, prandaj ki mir\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh pak m\u00eb mir\u00eb me mua. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u00ebto fjal\u00eb me nxeh\u00ebn\nshum\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Babai mund t\u00eb\nkishte nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr dashuri, por at\u00eb do ta gjente te gruaja e tij, e cila edhe\npse e s\u00ebmur\u00eb, asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk ia mohoi dashurin\u00eb, as at\u00ebher\u00eb kur e mori vesh p\u00ebr\nlidhjen tuaj. Duhet ta kishe njohur n\u00ebn\u00ebn time q\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoje se \u00e7\u2019m\u00ebkat t\u00eb madh ke b\u00ebr\u00eb!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo p\u00ebrs\u00ebri mundohej\nta justifikonte lidhjen e tyre. Nejse, tani \u00e7do gj\u00eb ishte e kot\u00eb. N\u00ebna ime nuk jeton m\u00eb dhe asgj\u00eb nuk e kthen m\u00eb at\u00eb.\nV\u00ebllait nuk ia tregova sepse n\u00ebna ma la amanet. Ajo edhe n\u00eb shtratin e vdekjes\nishte p\u00ebrs\u00ebri njeriu ideal…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u00eb q\u00eb po ju shkruaj jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb rreth t\u00eb tridhjetave. Kam pak koh\u00eb q\u00eb kam humbur mamin dhe ende nuk m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb zvog\u00ebluar dhimbja. Ndoshta kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb dhimbje q\u00eb nuk shuhet asnj\u00ebher\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, por un\u00eb mendoj se p\u00ebr mua \u00ebsht\u00eb pak ndryshe. Mamaja ime vdiq nga kanceri. P\u00ebrve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, ajo, vitet […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[282],"class_list":["post-22201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-nga-jeta-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22201"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22201\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}