{"id":21998,"date":"2019-04-08T22:00:08","date_gmt":"2019-04-08T20:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=21998"},"modified":"2019-04-08T17:41:24","modified_gmt":"2019-04-08T15:41:24","slug":"%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-ruash-te-shendetshme-nje-lidhje-ne-distance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/04\/%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-ruash-te-shendetshme-nje-lidhje-ne-distance\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffSi ta ruash t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetshme nj\u00eb lidhje n\u00eb distanc\u00eb?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Mir\u00eb se erdh\u00ebt n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e mrekullueshme t\u00eb LDR (n\u00eb anglisht: Love distance relationship-lidhje n\u00eb distanc\u00eb). <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Duke pritur q\u00eb lidhja juaj t\u00eb forcohet, ja ku keni 12 k\u00ebshilla p\u00ebr t\u2019i mbijetuar larg\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb hedhur posht\u00eb th\u00ebnien: <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLarg syve, larg zemr\u00ebs\u201d…<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Gjej koh\u00eb p\u00ebr lidhjen<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb rregulli baz\u00eb. Kjo k\u00ebshill\u00eb pragmatike \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb. Q\u00eb nj\u00eb\nlidhje n\u00eb distanc\u00eb t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb, duhet t\u2019i dedikosh koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u par\u00eb me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin.\nMe nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, kan\u00eb marr\u00eb fund fundjavat e kaluara me shoqet n\u00eb fshat.\nGjithashtu, p\u00ebrgatituni t\u00eb b\u00ebni dy vajtje-ardhje n\u00eb muaj p\u00ebr t\u2019u takuar, n\u00ebse jetoni\nbrenda vendit, kurse t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve u urojm\u00eb t\u00eb fitojn\u00eb llotarin\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shihen sa m\u00eb\nshpesh, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb muaj. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cM\u00eb\nvjen keq, nuk mund t\u00eb vij p\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb para tre muajsh, kam mbetur pa lek\u00eb q\u00ebkur\nshkova me shoqet p\u00ebr pushime n\u00eb Vlor\u00eb!\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Tregoji rregullisht t\u00eb rejat e jet\u00ebs t\u00ebnde<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Duket si \u00e7udi, por distanca shton ankthin dhe shqet\u00ebsimet e tjera. N\u00ebse dy\nt\u00eb dashuruar jan\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin qytet, mund t\u2019i lejojn\u00eb vetes t\u00eb flirtojn\u00eb dhe\nt\u00eb luajn\u00eb kukafshehti me nj\u00ebri-tjetrin, por t\u00eb q\u00ebndrosh pa folur kur ju ndajn\u00eb\n200 km \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb rulet\u00eb ruse e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb p\u00ebr lidhjen dhe nervat. Kijeni parasysh\npara se t\u00eb guxoni t\u00eb rrini nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb \u201cpa lajme\u201d… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cPo,\ni kam par\u00eb 15 e-mailet e tua t\u00eb fundit, vet\u00ebm se nuk kisha koh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigjesha\u201d.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Duhet t\u00eb jesh i\/e sigurt\u00eb p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb ndjen<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Po t\u00eb kishte rrug\u00ebzgjidhje, asnj\u00eb person i men\u00e7ur nuk do t\u00eb donte nj\u00eb\nlidhje n\u00eb distanc\u00eb. Ajo kushton shum\u00eb, k\u00ebrkon shum\u00eb energji dhe, si\u00e7 e tregon\nedhe artikulli, ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb minimum p\u00ebrpjekjesh delikate q\u00eb t\u00eb mbijetoj\u00eb.\nAt\u00ebher\u00eb, duhet t\u00eb jeni t\u00eb sigurt\u00eb p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb doni. Ndjenjat e vak\u00ebta, dyshimet\nekzistenciale, etj. jan\u00eb tregues t\u00eb pagabuesh\u00ebm se duhet t\u00eb evitoni \u00e7do lidhje\nme t\u00eb, edhe n\u00eb distanc\u00eb, madje… sidomos n\u00eb distanc\u00eb!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cDo\nt\u00eb shkoj nj\u00eb jav\u00eb n\u00eb Rom\u00eb tek X-i, por nuk e di \u00e7\u2019plane kemi, n\u00eb fakt…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Fol m\u00eb pak n\u00eb skype<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skype \u00ebsht\u00eb miku fallco i \u00e7ifteve n\u00eb distanc\u00eb. Themi se \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb progres i\nshk\u00eblqyer teknologjik, q\u00eb lejon t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh, t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh, t\u00eb afrohesh… por g\u00ebnjejm\u00eb\nveten. N\u00eb fakt, ato m\u00eb t\u00eb nxehtat nd\u00ebrmjet nesh do ta ndjejn\u00eb shpejt an\u00ebn e tij\nzhg\u00ebnjyese, sepse shihemi dhe d\u00ebgjohemi, pa mundur t\u00eb prekemi. M\u00eb pragmatiket\ndo ta kuptojn\u00eb sa koh\u00eb u kushton, pasi do t\u2019u duhet t\u00eb kthehen m\u00eb shpejt nga nj\u00eb\nfest\u00eb, takim pune, etj., p\u00ebr t\u00eb folur me t\u00eb dashurin q\u00eb sapo \u00ebsht\u00eb zgjuar n\u00eb\nNju Jork. K\u00ebshtu, pra, ruajeni Skype-in vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr raste, p\u00ebrndryshe do t\u00eb\nkrijohet imazhi i lidhjeve iluzion dhe zhg\u00ebnjyese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cNuk\nmund t\u00eb vij me ju sot (shoqeve), pasi kam nj\u00eb takim n\u00eb Skype me t\u00eb dashurin,\npas nj\u00eb ore\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Duhet t\u00eb dish t\u00eb \u00e7atosh<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le ta pranojm\u00eb m\u00eb n\u00eb fund: \u00c7ati q\u00eb b\u00ebhet n\u00eb Facebook \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb praktiku p\u00ebr\nne qeniet njer\u00ebzore q\u00eb prej shpikjes s\u00eb faksit, por kujdes: \u00c7ati mund t\u00eb\nshkaktoj\u00eb ndonj\u00eb ngat\u00ebrres\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb folur dhe, sado t\u00eb forta t\u00eb jen\u00eb ndjenjat,\nnuk jemi kurr\u00eb t\u00eb mbrojtur para nj\u00eb ironie t\u00eb interpretuar keq, ose nj\u00eb shakaje\nt\u00eb keqe q\u00eb futet mes linjave t\u00eb dialogut. M\u00eb mir\u00eb parandaloni sesa sh\u00ebroni dhe\nm\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebrdorni nj\u00eb emoticon, sesa t\u2019i thoni ndonj\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb keqe… K\u00ebshtu, gjith\u00e7ka\nshkon vaj!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cNuk\nmund t\u00eb vij t\u00eb rri me ty p\u00ebr 4 dit\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb nj\u00eb koh\u00eb shum\u00eb e gjat\u00eb\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Do t\u00eb p\u00ebrfitosh nga reduksionet e telefonit\ncelular<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00ebse keni mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb flisni sa t\u00eb doni me t\u00eb dashurin q\u00eb ndodhet n\u00eb qytet\ntjet\u00ebr, t\u2019i d\u00ebrgoni SMS dhe MMS, pa paguar shum\u00eb ose fare, at\u00ebhere, b\u00ebjeni. Ju\ndo ta p\u00ebrdorni n\u00eb \u00e7do moment telefonin p\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebrguar nj\u00eb mendim q\u00eb ju ka\nlindur n\u00eb \u00e7ast, nj\u00eb shaka, ose nj\u00eb foto tuaj\u00ebn, veshur me fustanin e ri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cProblemi\n\u00ebsht\u00eb se kam akoma Nokian tim t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr… Po pres IPhone 5-n\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. M\u00ebso adres\u00ebn e tij<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00eb pari, adres\u00ebn e tij t\u00eb e-mailit sepse e-maili personal \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb mjet\nkomunikimi pak m\u00eb \u201cfisnik\u201d p\u00ebr LDR-n\u00eb sesa Facebooku ose \u00e7ati. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, nj\u00eb\nemail \u00ebsht\u00eb i dobish\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebrguar nj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb t\u00eb youtube-it, biletat e\navionit, nj\u00eb vjersh\u00eb, nj\u00eb artikull gazete, etj., por m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishmja \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb\ndish adres\u00ebn postale, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb let\u00ebr surpriz\u00eb, p\u00ebr nj\u00eb pako apo kartolin\u00eb.\nRomantizmi duhet t\u00eb ekzistoj\u00eb akoma dhe t\u00eb mos reduktohet n\u00eb disa rreshta \u00e7ati.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj:<\/em>\n\u201cCili m\u00eb the se \u00ebsht\u00eb numri i rrug\u00ebs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Evito xhelozin\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le t\u00eb jet\u00eb e qart\u00eb: Xhelozia n\u00eb nj\u00eb LDR \u00ebsht\u00eb e nda-lu-ar, sepse krizat e\nxhelozis\u00eb e transformojn\u00eb brenda nj\u00eb minute nj\u00eb takim prek\u00ebs n\u00eb nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie-kalvar.\nPyetjet e tipit t\u00eb \u201cGestapos\u201d p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb vesh se \u00e7\u2018ka b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb shtun\u00ebn n\u00eb dark\u00eb\napo n\u00ebse jan\u00eb t\u00eb bukura vajzat atje ku ka vajtur jan\u00eb porta e hapur p\u00ebr t\u00eb shp\u00ebrthyer\nn\u00eb kriza histerie. Kini parasysh k\u00ebshill\u00ebn num\u00ebr 3: N\u00ebse jeni bashk\u00eb, kjo do t\u00eb\nthot\u00eb se ka nj\u00eb arsye t\u00eb fort\u00eb, bile \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb zgjedhje e shenjt\u00eb, sepse ju\nluftoni kund\u00ebr larg\u00ebsis\u00eb. At\u00ebhere, ose kini besim tek ai, ose vendosni s\u00eb\nbashku t\u00eb keni nj\u00eb lidhje t\u00eb lir\u00eb, pa harruar respektin dhe humorin e mir\u00eb (sidomos\nk\u00ebt\u00eb t\u00eb fundit!)…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cAh,\npo, paske dal\u00eb me shok\u00ebt t\u00eb premten dhe t\u00eb shtun\u00ebn…?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Ruaj pak misterin<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kjo k\u00ebshill\u00eb vlen p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha lidhjet, por n\u00eb nj\u00eb LDR, \u00ebsht\u00eb e\ndomosdoshme. Duhet t\u00eb ruani ca gj\u00ebra p\u00ebr t\u2019i th\u00ebn\u00eb kur t\u00eb takoheni dhe nuk ia\nvlen ta lodhni dy or\u00eb n\u00eb skype duke i treguar se \u00e7far\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb sot kolegia e\nzyr\u00ebs. Ju nuk e kaloni dit\u00ebn bashk\u00eb! At\u00ebhere, kursejani atij detajet jodometh\u00ebn\u00ebse\nq\u00eb e theksojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb. Keni bler\u00eb k\u00ebpuc\u00eb t\u00eb reja shum\u00eb t\u00eb bukura? Aq m\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr\nju, por ai nuk do t\u2019ia dij\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cK\u00ebt\u00eb\nm\u00ebngjes u ngrita von\u00eb dhe nuk pata koh\u00eb t\u00eb haja m\u00ebngjes. Pastaj, kur mb\u00ebrrita n\u00eb\nzyr\u00eb, nuk m\u00eb kishte dal\u00eb akoma gjumi dhe ishte p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur sepse nj\u00eb koleg m\u00eb\ntha…\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. D\u00ebrgoji foto seksi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb fjala k\u00ebtu t\u2019i d\u00ebrgosh foto pornografike. Mund t\u2019i d\u00ebrgosh her\u00eb\npas here disa detaje; nj\u00eb dekolte, nj\u00eb shikim, nj\u00eb sugjerim t\u00eb t\u00eb brendshmeve,\nsepse nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb e urt\u00eb, thot\u00eb: \u201cNuk kapen mizat me uthull\u201d…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj<\/em>:\n\u201cSapo t\u00eb kam d\u00ebrguar nj\u00eb e-mail… por t\u00eb paralajm\u00ebroj q\u00eb nuk duhet ta shohin t\u00eb\ntjer\u00ebt…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Shprehja ndjenjat<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lajm\u00ebrim p\u00ebr fillestar\u00ebt e nj\u00eb LDR: Nuk ju nxisim t\u00eb thoni \u201ct\u00eb dua\u201d t\u00eb\nparakohshme or\u00eb e minut\u00eb… Kur jetoni bashk\u00eb, mbase nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aq e nevojshme\nta thoni shpesh (t\u00eb flesh me t\u00eb shtat\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb jav\u00ebs tregon n\u00eb nj\u00ebfar\u00eb m\u00ebnyre\nndjenjat tuaja), por larg\u00ebsia k\u00ebrkon pak karburant, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u2019i kujtosh\nvetes pse blen kaq shpesh bileta treni dhe avioni, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb blesh k\u00ebpuc\u00eb t\u00eb\nreja dhe \u00e7ant\u00eb l\u00ebkure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cNuk\nrri dot pa t\u00eb menduar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment, kam shum\u00eb d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb shoh\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Evito sa t\u00eb mund\u00ebsh lamtumirat e trishtuara<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stacioni i autobusit i mbushur plot e p\u00ebrplot, aeroporti ku gjith\u00eb udh\u00ebtar\u00ebt\nnxitojn\u00eb p\u00ebr diku… \u00cbsht\u00eb e bukur si ide ta shoq\u00ebrosh deri n\u00eb fund, vet\u00ebm se\nkjo nuk b\u00ebn gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, ve\u00e7se thekson ndarjen dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb akoma m\u00eb stresuese p\u00ebr\nt\u00eb dy. Preferoni pra ndarjet e lehta dhe romantike n\u00eb fund t\u00eb rrug\u00ebs, sikur nuk\npo ndodh ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb e madhe, q\u00eb jan\u00eb m\u00eb inkurajuese sesa t\u00eb qarat n\u00eb stacion…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fraza q\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb\npjes\u00eb n\u00eb fjalorin tuaj: <\/em>\u201cPo\nrri edhe pak sa t\u00eb ta b\u00ebj me dor\u00eb kur t\u00eb kalosh kontrollin e check-in-it\u201d. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mir\u00eb se erdh\u00ebt n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e mrekullueshme t\u00eb LDR (n\u00eb anglisht: Love distance relationship-lidhje n\u00eb distanc\u00eb). Duke pritur q\u00eb lidhja juaj t\u00eb forcohet, ja ku keni 12 k\u00ebshilla p\u00ebr t\u2019i mbijetuar larg\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb hedhur posht\u00eb th\u00ebnien: \u201cLarg syve, larg zemr\u00ebs\u201d… 1. Gjej koh\u00eb p\u00ebr lidhjen Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb rregulli baz\u00eb. Kjo k\u00ebshill\u00eb pragmatike \u00ebsht\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21999,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[2421],"class_list":["post-21998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-lidhje-ne-distance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21998","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21998"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21998\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21999"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21998"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21998"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21998"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}