Jeta ime, q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim, ishte nj\u00eb d\u00ebshtim i madh\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Un\u00eb quhem S. Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb nga nj\u00eb qytet i vog\u00ebl i Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Isha gjithmon\u00eb nj\u00eb goc\u00eb shum\u00eb e dashur dhe e duruar me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb kam kuptuar di\u00e7ka, q\u00eb sa m\u00eb e mir\u00eb t\u00eb jesh me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, aq m\u00eb keq je me veten t\u00ebnde. Mami dhe babi im u ndan\u00eb kur un\u00eb isha vet\u00ebm 12 vje\u00e7e. At\u00eb ndarje e prita shum\u00eb keq sepse i doja shum\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb dy dhe nuk dija kujt t\u2019ia mbaja an\u00ebn e kujt t\u2019ia prishja qejfin. Mir\u00ebpo t\u00eb rritesh pa baba, ka pasojat e veta. Jo se m\u00eb mungonte ushqimi e veshjet, por m\u00eb mungonte ajo dashuri dhe ai p\u00ebrkushtim q\u00eb vet\u00ebm babai mund t\u00eb ta fal\u00eb. Un\u00eb kalova n\u00eb at\u00eb periudh\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje depresive t\u00eb cil\u00ebn as mund t\u2019jua shpjegoj. Nuk flisja fare dhe vet\u00ebm d\u00ebgjoja muzik\u00eb. Kaluan dy vjet kur fillova t\u00eb vija re te n\u00ebna ime ca ndryshime q\u00eb nuk i kisha v\u00ebn\u00eb re m\u00eb par\u00eb. Ne u transferuam nga nj\u00eb sht\u00ebpi e vog\u00ebl q\u00eb kishim n\u00eb periferi, n\u00eb nj\u00eb apartament n\u00eb qytet. Ajo vishej, lyhej e dilte p\u00ebrdit\u00eb. M\u00eb thoshte se po ikte n\u00eb pun\u00eb dhe vinte n\u00eb dark\u00eb. N\u00eb fakt, mua babai kurr\u00eb s`m\u00eb ka folur keq p\u00ebr t\u00eb sepse ndoshta isha edhe e vog\u00ebl dhe shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra s`kishte si t\u00eb m\u2019i shpjegonte, por sa her\u00eb ikja te babai dhe te gjysh\u00ebrit, m\u00eb porosisnin t\u00eb mos dilja n\u00ebp\u00ebr darka me t\u00eb. M\u00eb thonin: \u201cPo deshi mami t\u00eb dal\u00eb me shoqe, eja rri nga ne ti se ato jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha dhe s`ka lezet t\u00eb p\u00ebrzihesh me to\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Erdhi nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb kur e kuptova q\u00eb mami im kishte jo\nnj\u00eb njeri, por shum\u00eb nga t\u00eb cil\u00ebt merrte lek\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera. Kjo gj\u00eb\nm\u00eb b\u00ebri q\u00eb ta urreja shum\u00eb, aq shum\u00eb saq\u00eb nuk doja as t\u00eb m\u00eb jepte t\u00eb haja, as\nlek\u00eb; asgj\u00eb nuk doja nga ajo. Mami u b\u00eb me makin\u00eb dhe un\u00eb e dija tashm\u00eb arsyen\nse pse ishin ndar\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e mi. Nuk isha m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb e kisha t\u00eb\nqart\u00eb, por nuk arrija ta pranoja k\u00ebt\u00eb fakt. Shpejt m\u2019u rrit trupi, u zhvillova\ndhe t\u00eb gjith\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb m\u00eb shikonin me admirim, m\u00eb b\u00ebnin komplimente e kjo gj\u00eb\nm\u00eb b\u00ebnte t\u00eb ndihesha krenare me veten. Duke qen\u00eb se nuk kishte kush t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebrtiste\nose t\u00eb m\u00eb m\u00ebsonte n\u00eb at\u00eb mosh\u00eb delikate q\u00eb kisha, filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00eblqente fakti q\u00eb\nkisha shum\u00eb ngacmime. N\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 15 vje\u00e7are u lidha me nj\u00eb \u00e7un aty te lagjja. Ai\nishte shum\u00eb i bukur, por ishte 12 vjet m\u00eb i madh se un\u00eb. Ai ishte tipiku i \u00e7unit\nt\u00eb fort\u00eb, king, trendi, t\u00eb cilit i shkonin pas t\u00eb gjitha femrat e lagjes. Ai m\u00eb\nngacmonte shum\u00eb dhe un\u00eb e p\u00eblqeja, megjith\u00ebse kisha pak frik\u00eb se p\u00ebrfundoja si\nmami dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb nuk e doja. \u00cbnd\u00ebrroja t\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb familje normale me dashuri,\ngj\u00eb q\u00eb mua m\u00eb kishte munguar. U lidha dhe n\u00eb fillim lidhja jon\u00eb shkoi shum\u00eb mir\u00eb,\npor nga mesi ai filloi t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte t\u00eb b\u00ebnim bashk\u00eb gj\u00ebra perverse dhe un\u00eb isha\nvet\u00ebm nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb e i bindesha p\u00ebr \u00e7do gj\u00eb sepse mendoja se do t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundoja me\nt\u00eb. Ishte periudha t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e kujtoj m\u00eb me v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi n\u00eb jet\u00eb sepse m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb\nkaloja nga f\u00ebmij\u00ebria, n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn nuk e njihja. E kuptoj tani sa jam\np\u00ebrulur p\u00ebr at\u00eb monst\u00ebr q\u00eb m\u00eb shkat\u00ebrroi jet\u00ebn dhe m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb arrija n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb\nku jam sot. Q\u00ebndrova p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vit me t\u00eb dhe po t`ju tregoj gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb m\u00eb ka b\u00ebr\u00eb\nt\u00eb kaloj, do ta d\u00ebnonte edhe ligji e jo vet\u00ebm ju.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai, me pak fjal\u00eb, nuk m\u00eb mbajti vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr vete,\npor m\u00eb kaloi te t\u00eb gjith\u00eb shok\u00ebt q\u00eb kishte, duke m\u00eb trajtuar si nj\u00eb prostitut\u00eb\nsepse e shikonte q\u00eb nuk kisha mb\u00ebshtetje dhe s\u2019mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrplasesha askund. N\u00ebna\nime nuk vinte re asgj\u00eb sepse dilte e vinte e un\u00eb nuk i nd\u00ebrroja dy muhabete me\nt\u00eb. Madje, kur nd\u00ebrroheshim me makina, \u00e7unat thoshin: \u201cJa, mami yt, po del p\u00ebr\npun\u00eb\u201d. Nuk kishte ulje m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe se situatat q\u00eb po p\u00ebrjetoja n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb. Nuk\nkisha hije p\u00ebr fem\u00ebr normale; asnj\u00eb shoqe e imja nuk rrinte m\u00eb me mua dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb\nnuk u v\u00eb aspak faj. Fillova t\u00eb pija alkool e cigare q\u00eb 15 vje\u00e7e dhe kisha marr\u00eb\nnj\u00eb rrug\u00eb q\u00eb s`e dija ku do t\u00eb m\u00eb \u00e7onte. Sa e sa her\u00eb m\u00eb kan\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb rrethina\nt\u00eb Tiran\u00ebs n\u00eb mes t\u00eb nat\u00ebs dhe jam kthyer me t\u00eb gdhir\u00eb n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, se si, as un\u00eb\nnuk e di, por n\u00ebna ime as s`m\u00eb ka pyetur fare se pse s`kthehesha m\u00eb her\u00ebt.\nShprehej shpesh me shoqet e veta duke u th\u00ebn\u00eb: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cM\u00eb b\u00ebhet qejfi q\u00eb goca ime ka gjetur nj\u00eb \u00e7un bos q\u00eb\nia plot\u00ebson t\u00eb gjitha\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo nuk i dinte dhimbjet e mia, nuk i dinte\nbrengat se un\u00eb nuk kisha vet\u00ebm at\u00eb, por t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata si shoq\u00ebri. Sa e sa her\u00eb\njam matur t\u00eb vras veten, t\u00eb pija kokrra dhe t\u00eb lija nj\u00eb let\u00ebr q\u00eb dhe ata t\u00eb krimbeshin\nn\u00eb burg, por nuk e di pse s\u2019kam pasur guxim ta realizoj. Me t\u00eb dashurin mora\nguximin dhe pasi u ndava me t\u00eb, hoqa telefonin e t\u00eb gjitha sepse shok\u00ebt e tij m\u00eb\njepnin dhe urdhra t\u00eb shkoja t`i takoja kur dhe si t\u00eb donin. Kulmi arriti kur nj\u00eb\nnat\u00eb n\u00eb shpin\u00eb time erdhi nj\u00eb burr\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb s`kishte ndodhur kurr\u00eb dhe mami e\nmori te dhoma e gjumit. Un\u00eb isha n\u00eb kuzhin\u00eb dhe shtanga sepse ia hapi der\u00ebn\nsapo e pa n\u00eb syrin magjik. Ai ishte i armatosur dhe i dehur n\u00eb maksimum, tamam\ntipi i mashkullit harbut. M\u00eb pa mua, por as q\u00eb iu b\u00eb von\u00eb dhe iu drejtua mamas\u00eb\npik\u00ebrisht me k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTi k\u2026 e keqe do t\u2019i paguash t\u00eb gjitha tradhtit\u00eb\ndhe makin\u00ebn e lek\u00ebt do t\u00eb m\u2019i kthesh nj\u00eb m\u00eb nj\u00eb se un\u00eb t\u00eb vras me duart e mia\u201d.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ajo filloi t\u00eb p\u00ebrlotej dhe i tha: \u201cT\u00eb lutem, eja t\u00eb\nflasim nga dhoma tjet\u00ebr\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ata u fut\u00ebn aty, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb mora telefonin e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb\ndhe formova numrin e policis\u00eb. Ai filloi ta rrihte aq shum\u00eb me rrip saq\u00eb e mori\nvesh i gjith\u00eb pallati. Un\u00eb ika mbas dere dhe fillova t\u00eb b\u00ebrtisja, por dera nuk\nu hap derisa erdh\u00ebn polic\u00ebt dhe i ndan\u00eb. N\u00ebna ime ishte katandisur n\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb\nt\u00eb tmerrshme. E kapa, u p\u00ebrqafuam dhe un\u00eb mora ta fusja n\u00eb dush ta laja sepse e\nkishte mbuluar gjaku. Ajo nuk pranoi as t\u00eb ikte n\u00eb spital, as t\u00eb b\u00ebnte denoncim.\nShum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tmerrshme k\u00ebto t`i kalosh q\u00eb 15 vje\u00e7e, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb rritesh\nme \u00e7okollata dhe me p\u00ebrqafime. Jeta ime ishte sk\u00ebterr\u00eb se fillova t\u00eb kuptoja\npak edhe n\u00ebn\u00ebn… Ndoshta edhe ajo kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb pre e nj\u00eb mashkulli t\u00eb keq,\nashtu si\u00e7 b\u00ebra un\u00eb, p\u00ebr dashuri. Nuk m\u00eb b\u00ebhej m\u00eb t\u00eb dilja n\u00eb rrug\u00eb sepse t\u00eb gjith\u00eb\nma b\u00ebnin me gisht dhe m\u00eb ofendonin. Vendosa t\u00eb ikja n\u00eb fshat t\u00eb jetoja me babain.\nN\u00ebna m\u2019u dhimbs shum\u00eb sepse m\u2019u p\u00ebrgj\u00ebrua q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e lija vet\u00ebm, por un\u00eb\ns`mund t\u00eb q\u00ebndroja asnj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb ashtu. Mora rrobat e gjith\u00e7ka kisha dhe ika.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tani u b\u00ebn\u00eb dy vjet q\u00eb jetoj k\u00ebtu ku linda dhe u\nrrita me babain e dy gjysh\u00ebrit t\u00eb cil\u00ebt i kam shum\u00eb t\u00eb vjet\u00ebr. K\u00ebtu asnj\u00eb nuk e\ndi at\u00eb q\u00eb kam kaluar dhe asnjeriu nuk dua t\u2019i hapem sepse ato jan\u00eb gj\u00ebra q\u00eb\nduhet t\u2019i mbys brenda vetes. Asnj\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb pa m\u00eb paragjykuar, k\u00ebt\u00eb\ne di. Tani b\u00ebj jet\u00ebn e nj\u00eb 17 vje\u00e7areje normale. Kam filluar t\u00eb shkoj n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb\nrregullisht dhe nuk b\u00ebj m\u00eb gabim t\u00eb dal kafesh apo me shoq\u00ebri. Rri gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn\nme gjyshen, e ndihmoj t\u00eb gatuaj\u00eb e t\u00eb laj\u00eb se m\u00eb dhimbset ngaq\u00eb po m\u00eb japin nj\u00eb\nshans t\u00eb dyt\u00eb, shans q\u00eb nuk ta jepka kush n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 familjes. As n\u00eb\neskursione kur ikin ata t\u00eb klas\u00ebs nuk iki, sado q\u00eb babai m\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb shkoj. Zoti\nishalla do t\u00eb m\u00eb ket\u00eb n\u00ebn mbrojtjen e tij sepse me shpirt nuk isha nj\u00eb njeri i\nkeq dhe nuk ia dua njeriu t\u00eb keqen. N\u00ebna ime nuk ka ndryshuar fare dhe vazhdon\navazin. Un\u00eb e dua shum\u00eb se kam ardhur n\u00eb nj\u00eb mosh\u00eb q\u00eb kuptoj \u00e7do gj\u00eb, ashtu si\u00e7\ndua dhe babain sepse po punon me mish e me shpirt si e si t\u00eb mos m\u00eb mungoj\u00eb gj\u00eb.\nFatin tim nuk ia uroj asnj\u00eb vajze shqiptare se jeta t\u00eb p\u00ebrplaska me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb\npaskrupullt. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb gj\u00eb u them t\u00eb gjith\u00eb meshkujve q\u00eb kan\u00eb abuzuar me mua q\u00eb\nf\u00ebmij\u00eb: \u201cUroj q\u00eb jo te f\u00ebmij\u00ebt q\u00eb do t\u00eb ken\u00eb, por t\u00eb gjitha vuajtjet e mia i provofshin\nn\u00eb kok\u00ebn e tyre se un\u00eb nuk meritoja t\u00eb katandisesha ashtu\u201d. Tani nuk e di n\u00ebse\nfati do t\u00eb m\u00eb rezervoj\u00eb m\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb k\u00ebqija apo t\u00eb mira, por di se boll kam\nvuajtur n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb. Boll m\u00eb, o Zot, vet\u00ebm m\u00eb mbro tani e mbrapa!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jeta ime, q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim, ishte nj\u00eb d\u00ebshtim i madh\u2026 Un\u00eb quhem S. Jam nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb nga nj\u00eb qytet i vog\u00ebl i Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb. Isha gjithmon\u00eb nj\u00eb goc\u00eb shum\u00eb e dashur dhe e duruar me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb kam kuptuar di\u00e7ka, q\u00eb sa m\u00eb e mir\u00eb t\u00eb jesh me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, aq m\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[2390],"class_list":["post-21838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-hsitori-personale"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21838"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21838\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}