Un\u0451 q\u0451 po ju shkruaj jam nj\u0451 40 vje\u00e7are, akoma e pamartuar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u0451 rini kam patur shum\u0451 k\u0451rkesa, por duke dashur t\u00eb zgjedh burr\u0451, mbeta fare pa t\u0451. Ka gati 4 vjet q\u0451 njoh nj\u0451 burr\u00eb q\u00eb i ka kaluar t\u0451 45-tat, pra, s`\u0451sht\u0451 djal\u0451, por burr\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Historia jon\u0451 filloi rast\u0451sisht. Un\u0451 e njoh at\u0451 q\u0451kur kam qen\u0451 e re sepse\nbanon n\u0451 ish- lagjen e gjyshes sime, por nuk e kisha par\u0451 q\u0451kur gjyshja nd\u0451rroi\nlagje. Si\u00e7 ju thash\u0451, para kat\u0451r vjet\u0451sh po pija kafe me nj\u0451 shoqen time t\u0451\nngusht\u0451 dhe pash\u0451 n\u0451 tavolin\u0451n ngjitur nj\u0451 fytyr\u0451 t\u0451 njohur. N\u0451 fakt, edhe ai\npo m\u0451 shihte dhe kur shikimet tona u bashkuan, ai ma b\u0451ri:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– \u00c7`kemi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
U ngrita dhe ai u ngrit. U p\u0451rsh\u0451ndet\u0451m dhe e ftova t\u0451 ulej n\u0451 tavolin\u0451n\nton\u0451. E prezantova me shoqen dhe kujtuam koh\u0451n e f\u0451mij\u0451ris\u0451 kur luanim s\u0451\nbashku. Ai ishte m\u0451 i madh se un\u0451 dhe ajo q\u0451 mbaja mend m\u0451 mir\u0451 ishte se ai m\u0451\ndilte zot kur m\u0451 ngacmonin, pasi ai ishte shum\u0451 m\u0451 i madh se un\u0451. Shk\u0451mbyem\nnumrat e telefonit dhe u ndam\u0451. N\u0451 fakt, m\u0451 mbeti mendja tek ai dhe mezi po\nprisja t\u0451 m\u0451 telefononte. Dhe ai nuk vonoi shum\u0451. T\u0451 nes\u0451rmen m\u0451 mori n\u0451\ntelefon dhe m\u0451 ftoi t\u0451 takoheshim nga liqeni p\u0451r vrap. I thash\u0451 menj\u0451her\u0451, po. Dol\u0451m\nnga liqeni dhe pasi b\u0451m\u0451 pak vrap, u fut\u0451m n\u0451 nj\u0451 lokal p\u0451r kafe. Ndenj\u0451m aty\nduke folur p\u0451r jet\u0451t tona dhe u ndjeva shum\u0451 mir\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai nuk ishte martuar, m\u0451 tha se kishte qen\u0451 i lidhur me disa femra, por me\nasnj\u0451r\u0451n nuk kishte p\u0451rfunduar n\u0451 martes\u0451. N\u0451 fakt, e kuptoja shum\u0451 mir\u0451 sepse\nedhe mua m\u0451 kishte munguar guximi q\u0451 kisha arritur n\u0451 mosh\u0451n 40-vje\u00e7are e pamartuar.\nAi m\u0451 p\u0451rcolli deri te shkall\u0451t e pallatit dhe aty u ndam\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Takimet tona u shpeshtuan. Takoheshim mbasdite, sepse paradite ai ishte n\u0451\npun\u0451, nd\u0451rsa un\u0451 nuk isha n\u0451 pun\u0451 sepse nd\u0451rmarrja ku punoja ishte privatizuar\ndhe m\u0451 ishte shkurtuar vendi i pun\u0451s e nuk isha munduar t\u0451 gjeja pun\u0451 tjet\u0451r. N\u00eb\nat\u00eb koh\u00eb, s\u2019po k\u00ebrkoja as pun\u00eb sepse prisja t\u0451 shkoja te nj\u0451 shoqe n\u0451 Itali p\u0451r\nvizit\u0451.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nj\u0451 dit\u0451 t\u0451 premte e ftova t\u0451 shkonim jasht\u0451 Tiran\u0451s. Ai m\u0451 nxori nj\u0451 mal\nme justifikime t\u0451 kota. Nuk u binda fare nga k\u0451to justifikime, por atij nuk i\nthash\u0451 gj\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Mir\u0451 – i thash\u0451 – S`ka gj\u0451. Shkojm\u0451 nj\u0451 her\u0451 tjet\u0451r, nuk m\u0451 mbetet hatri.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ne e vazhduam jet\u0451n normalisht m\u0451 ato takimet n\u0451p\u0451r kafene, n\u0451 kinema, te\nliqeni e kudo. Ishte shum\u0451 bukur t\u0451 ishe e lidhur me t\u0451. Ai m\u0451 b\u0451nte dhurata\nshum\u0451 t\u0451 shtrenjta dhe, kur shkonim diku, preferonim vet\u0451m vende luksoze. Nga\nana ekonomike ai ishte shum\u0451 mir\u0451. Fundjav\u0451n tjet\u0451r i dhash\u0451 p\u0451rs\u0451ri variantin\np\u0451r t\u0451 dal\u0451 jasht\u0451 Tiran\u0451s. Ai nuk donte p\u0451rs\u0451ri. Un\u0451 u nevrikosa dhe ia mbylla\ntelefonin, me shpres\u0451 se ai do t\u2019i binte n\u0451 \u00e7ast e do t\u00eb m\u0451 thoshte t\u0451 b\u0451hesha\ngati e t\u0451 shkonim, por ai nuk i ra fare, as at\u0451 nat\u0451, as t\u00eb nes\u0451rmen. Edhe un\u0451\nu tregova kryene\u00e7e. Nuk e mora. Tashm\u0451, \u00e7do gj\u0451 ishte gati p\u0451r t\u0451 shkuar n\u0451\nItali te shoqja. Ai kishte dy dit\u0451 q\u0451 nuk m\u0451 kishte telefonuar, k\u0451shtu q\u0451 un\u0451 e\nndjeva se duhet ta lajm\u0451roja se do t\u0451 shkoja n\u0451 Itali. E mora n\u0451 telefon dhe i\nthash\u0451:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Si je? Pse s`m\u0451 ke telefonuar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Kam qen\u0451 i z\u0451n\u0451 \u2013 tha shum\u0451 ftoht\u0451. – pastaj ti ma mbylle telefonin dhe\nti e di q\u0451 un\u0451 e kam shum\u0451 inat k\u0451t\u0451 gj\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai b\u0451nte gjithmon\u0451 q\u0451 faji t\u0451 m\u0451 ngelte vet\u0451m mua. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– M\u0451 fal – i thash\u0451, pavar\u0451sisht se nuk kisha faj. \u2013 T\u0451 mora se nes\u0451r do t\u0451\nshkoj n\u0451 Itali dhe thash\u0451 se do t\u0451 doje ta dije. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Udh\u0451 t\u0451 mbar\u0451 dhe ia kalofsh sa m\u0451 mir\u0451! – tha ai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Faleminderit! – i thash\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
U nisa dhe n\u0451 avion mendoja se ku kisha gabuar, se pse u nxeh ai me mua. N\u0451\nfakt, ateher\u0451 nuk e dija se ai b\u0451nte si i nxehur p\u0451r t\u0451 fshehur sekretin e tij.\nKur u ktheva nga Italia, e mora n\u0451 telefon dhe i thash\u0451 se i kisha sjell\u0451 nj\u0451\nshishe ver\u0451 t\u0451 mir\u0451 dhe doja ta takoja se m\u0451 kishte marr\u0451 malli. Pranoi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
U takuam. Ai mundohej t\u0451 m\u0451 mbante m\u0451ri, por biseduam dhe \u00e7do gj\u00eb u\nnormalizua. U takuam p\u0451rs\u0451ri e p\u0451rs\u0451ri, por mes nesh kishte thjesht shoq\u0451ri. Nuk\nkishte ndodhur asnj\u0451 akt tjet\u0451r p\u0451rve\u00e7 puthjes. Ai dinte t\u0451 puthe shum\u0451 mir\u0451, por\nvet\u0451m kaq. Ai nuk mund t\u0451 b\u0451nte asgj\u0451 tjet\u0451r ve\u00e7se t\u0451 puthte, ai ishte impotent.\nMundohej ta fshihte k\u0451t\u0451 gj\u0451 me shum\u0451 justifikime, por un\u0451 e kisha kuptuar. Sado\nvon\u0451, nj\u0451 dit\u0451, e v\u0451rteta del\nn\u0451 shesh. U mundova ta t\u0451rhiqja edhe te sht\u0451pia ime, q\u0451 ta v\u0451rtetoja m\u0451 mir\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451\ngj\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
K\u0451shtu, i thash\u0451 se nuk dilja dot nj\u0451 dit\u0451 pasdite dhe e ftova t\u0451 vinte n\u0451\nsht\u0451pi. Ai erdhi dhe q\u0451ndronte i ulur n\u0451 sallon, n\u0451 kolltuk. Un\u0451 u ula af\u0451r tij\ndhe filluam t\u0451 putheshim. Ai n\u0451 fakt ishte shum\u0451 i tensionuar, nuk donte t\u2019i\ndilte \u201ce fshehta\u201d n\u0451 shesh, por un\u0451 kisha vendosur ta b\u0451ja t\u0451 ma thoshte vet\u0451 k\u0451t\u0451\nt\u0451 v\u0451rtet\u0451. P\u0451r fatin tim t\u0451 keq, ra telefoni dhe e th\u0451rrit\u0451n te puna, k\u0451shtu q\u0451\nai \u201cshp\u0451toi\u201d edhe nj\u0451 her\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– E l\u0451m\u0451 p\u0451r nj\u0451 her\u0451 tjet\u0451r \u2013 tha ai – se po m\u0451 presin te puna. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– S`ka gj\u0451 \u2013 thash\u0451 – nxemjen e kemi b\u0451r\u0451 – dhe qesha. Qeshi edhe ai me\nshakan\u0451 time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pasdite m\u0451 ftoi p\u0451r kafe dhe, kur po pinim kafe, nd\u0451r t\u0451 tjera, i thash\u0451:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Na mbeti p\u0451rgjysm\u0451 sot?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Eh, \u00e7`t\u2019i b\u0451sh? Puna ime k\u0451shtu e ka, orar e pa orar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– S`ka gj\u0451. Takohemi sonte. Jam vet\u0451m n\u0451 sht\u0451pi. Hajde edhe ti e k\u0451shtu\nrrim\u0451 deri n\u0451 m\u0451ngjes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Nuk e di a mund t\u0451 vij. – tha ai duke ulur syt\u0451 p\u0451rtok\u0451. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Po pse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Po ja, kam frik\u0451 se mos t\u0451 vjen v\u0451llai ose ndonj\u0451 tjet\u0451r. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Ata jan\u0451 t\u0451 gjith\u0451 jasht\u0451 shtetit, k\u0451shtu q\u0451 s`ka kush t\u0451 vij\u0451. Jemi\nvet\u0451m ne t\u0451 dy. Kemi koh\u0451 q\u0451 e presim k\u0451t\u0451 rast, apo jo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Mir\u0451 – tha ai me gjys\u0451m z\u0451ri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
N\u0451 dark\u0451 ai erdhi dhe kishte sjell\u0451 me vete nj\u0451 shishe ver\u0451. Un\u0451 kisha p\u00ebrgatitur\nnj\u0451 dark\u0451 t\u0451 leht\u0451, por aroma e saj t\u0451 hapte oreksin. Ai, q\u00ebkur u fut brenda,\ndukej se ishte i tensionuar. U ul n\u0451 vendin ku kishte qen\u0451 kur i ra telefoni. Iu\nula af\u0451r, por e pash\u0451 se ai u nervozua edhe m\u0451 tep\u0451r. E ftova t\u0451 vinte t\u0451 hante.\nH\u0451ngr\u0451m, ai m\u0451 tha se ishte nj\u0451 dark\u0451 e p\u0451rkryer. U k\u0451naqa. Ishte njeri shum\u0451 i\nmir\u0451 dhe me kultur\u0451. Pas dark\u0451s i erdhi radha krevatit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
– \u00c7`ke? – i thash\u0451. – Nuk je mir\u0451?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ai nuk ishte fare n\u0451 humor. E putha dhe i thash\u0451 t\u0451 qet\u0451sohej se ishim\nvet\u0451m ne t\u0451 dy. N\u0451 fakt, at\u0451 nuk e mundonte kjo gj\u0451, por nj\u0451 tjet\u0451r gj\u0451. U\nfut\u0451m n\u0451 dhom\u0451n e gjumit dhe duke u puthur, u zhvesh\u0451m. Ai puthte shum\u0451 mir\u0451, por\nvet\u0451m kaq. Pas nja gjys\u0451m ore \u00e7do gj\u0451 u v\u0451rtetua. Ai rrinte n\u0451 nj\u0451r\u0451n an\u0451 t\u0451\nkrevatit dhe m\u0451 shikonte. Un\u0451 e shikoja e nuk flisja. Ai njeri i kishte t\u0451\ngjitha t\u0451 mirat q\u0451 mund t\u0451 ket\u0451 nj\u0451 mashkull, por fati nuk donte ta ndihmonte\nkudo. Ndoshta nuk ishte fati i tij k\u0451shtu, por realiteti ishte i till\u0451. Ai\nq\u0451ndroi at\u0451 nat\u0451. Mua m\u0451 kishte marr\u0451 gjumi e kur u zgjova n\u0451 m\u0451ngjes, ai\nkishte ikur. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u0451 pas, m\u0451 mori n\u0451 telefon dhe m\u0451 tha:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Tashm\u0451, e kupton edhe vet\u0451 se si \u0451sht\u0451 puna. Ti m\u0451 thuaj, do t\u0451 rrish me\nmua, apo jo?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
– Nuk e di, – i thash\u0451. – M\u0451 duhet t\u0451 mendohem. – Por pa e mbyllur telefonin,\ni thash\u0451: – S\u2019kam nevoj\u0451 t\u0451 mendohem. Ne do t\u0451 vazhdojm\u0451 se nuk i dihet se si\nmund t\u0451 ndryshoj\u0451 puna. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Q\u0451 nga ajo dit\u0451, jemi takuar shum\u0451 pak vet\u0451m p\u00ebr vet\u00ebm. Kur e k\u0451rkoj un\u0451 t\u0451\npim\u0451 nga nj\u0451 kafe dhe, kur takohemi, b\u0451jm\u0451 biseda t\u0451 p\u0451rgjithshme e jo ndonj\u0451\ngj\u0451 t\u0451 ve\u00e7ant\u0451. N\u0451 fakt, kur takohemi, mendoj se po t\u0451 m\u0451 k\u0451rkoj\u0451 t\u0451 martohem\nme t\u0451, do ta b\u0451j. Nuk e di n\u00ebse do t\u00eb b\u00ebj mir\u00eb apo keq, por kam nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb\nmendim nga t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ju. \u00c7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebj me t\u00eb?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Un\u0451 q\u0451 po ju shkruaj jam nj\u0451 40 vje\u00e7are, akoma e pamartuar. N\u0451 rini kam patur shum\u0451 k\u0451rkesa, por duke dashur t\u00eb zgjedh burr\u0451, mbeta fare pa t\u0451. Ka gati 4 vjet q\u0451 njoh nj\u0451 burr\u00eb q\u00eb i ka kaluar t\u0451 45-tat, pra, s`\u0451sht\u0451 djal\u0451, por burr\u0451. Historia jon\u0451 filloi rast\u0451sisht. Un\u0451 e njoh at\u0451 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21836,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[254,2389],"class_list":["post-21835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-histori-nga-jeta","tag-histori-personale","tag-impotence"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21835"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21835\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}