{"id":21588,"date":"2019-03-19T13:30:03","date_gmt":"2019-03-19T12:30:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=21588"},"modified":"2019-03-19T13:19:50","modified_gmt":"2019-03-19T12:19:50","slug":"%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-beni-femijen-tuaj-tju-degjoje","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/03\/%ef%bb%bfsi-ta-beni-femijen-tuaj-tju-degjoje\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffSi ta b\u00ebni f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj t\u2019ju d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Nga MSC Besmir Guri, psikolog, email besmir_guri@hotmail.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1.Mos filloni t\u00eb flisni, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoni, pa patur v\u00ebm\u00ebndjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs suaj. Nuk mund t\u00eb urdh\u00ebroni nga dhoma tjet\u00ebr dhe t\u00eb prisni reagimin q\u00eb ju d\u00ebshironi. Shkoni af\u00ebr. uluni n\u00eb nivelin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs dhe prekeni f\u00ebmij\u00ebn leht\u00eb. Prisni derisa ai t\u00eb shikoj\u00eb lart. Shikojeni n\u00eb sy. Pastaj filloni t\u00eb flisni. N\u00ebse f\u00ebmija ende nuk ju shikon. At\u00ebhere k\u00ebrkojeni v\u00ebm\u00ebndjen duke i th\u00ebn\u00eb \u201c A mund t\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj nj\u00eb pyetje?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Mos perserisni veten tuaj, me k\u00ebrkesa pa fund. N\u00ebse e keni th\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00ebher\u00eb dicka dhe nuk keni marr\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje, b\u00ebni mire t\u00eb mos kaloni n\u00eb hapin tjet\u00ebr dhe m\u00eb pas t\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebrisni veten s\u00ebrisht duke pritur reagim t\u00eb menj\u00ebhersh\u00ebm p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb donit m\u00eb her\u00ebt. N\u00ebse k\u00ebrkesa juaj \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme p\u00ebr mir\u00ebqenjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, at\u00ebher\u00eb mos tregoni toleranc\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00ebnguljen tuaj, q\u00ebndroni tek hapi 1 deri n\u00eb plot\u00ebsimin e tij.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00ebmij\u00ebt zakonisht jan\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb ndjesh\u00ebm ndaj l\u00ebkundjeve dhe pavendosm\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve. Kur prind\u00ebrit nuk tregohen t\u00eb vendosur n\u00eb k\u00ebrkesat e tyre, i ndryshojn\u00eb shpesh apo t\u00eb dy prind\u00ebrit nuk tregohen t\u00eb njejt\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebrkesa duke shfaqur dy standarte p\u00ebr t\u00eb njejt\u00ebn gj\u00eb, kjo rrezikon t\u00eb nxis\u00eb tek f\u00ebmija nervoziz\u00ebm dhe mendimin s\u00eb k\u00ebto k\u00ebrkesa mund t\u00eb plot\u00ebsohen sipas rastit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Related<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

3. P\u00ebrdorni fjal\u00eb aq sa \u00ebsht\u00eb e nevojshme jo aq\nsa ju rr\u00ebmben trysnia e pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsis\u00eb. Shum\u00eb prind\u00ebr e shp\u00ebrb\u00ebjm\u00eb mesazhin dhe e\nshp\u00ebrqendrojm\u00eb vemendjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb shumta, jo konkrete dhe t\u00eb\npaqarta. P\u00ebrdorni fjal\u00eb konkretizuese dhe q\u00eb kan\u00eb lidhje me situat\u00ebn q\u00eb po\nbisedoni, kjo e domosdoshme sidomos n\u00eb mosh\u00eb parashkollore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Shikoni edhe nga pik\u00ebpamja e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs.\nImagjinoni sikur ju t\u00eb jeni duke b\u00ebr\u00eb nj\u00eb pun\u00eb q\u00eb ju p\u00eblqen, dhe befas dikush\nt\u2019ju nderpriste duke ju k\u00ebrkuar t\u00eb b\u00ebni dicka tjet\u00ebr, Si do t\u00eb ndiheshit? Duhet\nt\u00eb jet\u00eb e kuptueshme dhe n\u00eb konsiderat\u00ebn tuaj se f\u00ebmija nuk ka t\u00eb njejtat\nprioritete me ju. Ai thjesht duhet t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb detyrat dhe nevojat e domosdoshme\nn\u00eb p\u00ebrputhje me mosh\u00ebn e tij. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr, edhe ju mund t\u00eb mos keni mund\u00ebsi\nt\u00eb plot\u00ebsoni prioritetet e tij n\u00eb cdo rast, ose prioritetet e tij nuk jan\u00eb\ngjithnj\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb dobishmet p\u00ebr t\u00eb, por gjithsesi kjo qasje altruiste do t\u00eb ju\nndihmoj\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoni m\u00eb tep\u00ebr nga bota e brenshme dhe preferencat e tij, gj\u00eb e\ncila rrit mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e mir\u00ebkuptimit mes jush, si n\u00eb rastet e plot\u00ebsimit t\u00eb\nd\u00ebshirave ashtu edhe n\u00eb rastet e mos plot\u00ebsimit t\u00eb tyre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Ofroni bashk\u00ebpunim. Kini parasysh se, askush\nnuk ka ndonj\u00eb p\u00eblqim t\u00eb degjoj\u00eb kur dikush ju jep urdh\u00ebra, qofshin ata f\u00ebmij\u00eb\napo t\u00eb rritur. Mbani tonin e z\u00ebrit t\u00eb but\u00eb, dhe mundohuni t\u00eb jepni mund\u00ebsi\nzgjedhjeje n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur. Shembull: \u201cpo afrohet koha p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb detyrat,\na do t\u00eb fillosh q\u00eb tani apo pas x minutave?\u201d. N\u00ebse ju doni q\u00eb ta zbatoj\u00eb\nk\u00ebrkes\u00ebn tuaj TANI, at\u00ebher\u00eb s\u00ebrish mbani tonin e but\u00eb dhe thojini: \u201c Kishim\nr\u00ebn\u00eb dakort p\u00ebr x minuta. Tani minutat mbaruan dhe duhet t\u00eb largohemi.\nNj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht p\u00ebr nj\u00eb balancim t\u00eb situates, mund t\u00eb propozoni: a d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb\nvijm\u00eb s\u00ebrish neser?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.\nRuajeni qet\u00ebsin\u00eb. Kur ne jemi t\u00eb stresuar, dhe k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje e shoq\u00ebrojm\u00eb me\nmoral t\u00eb pakufish\u00ebm, zem\u00ebrim apo Kritika ndaj f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt ka gjasa t\u00eb\nfillojn\u00eb pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb, ku shpesh mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundojn\u00eb n\u00eb zem\u00ebrim dypal\u00ebsh deri\nn\u00eb mosbindje, ose n\u00eb nj\u00eb bindje t\u00eb sforcuar nga frika.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E fundit, duke q\u00ebn\u00eb se shtyhen nga motive jasht\u00eb\nvullnetit t\u00eb lir\u00eb, rrjedhimisht ka koh\u00ebzgjatje t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr. Mos harxhoni koh\u00eb\ndhe energji duke iu k\u00ebrkuar llogari pse nuk dol\u00ebn shpejt, pse nuk ju d\u00ebgjuan q\u00eb\nher\u00ebn e par\u00eb kur iu k\u00ebrkuat t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin gati, pse \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq i\/e rr\u00ebmujshme\u2026 e\nkritika t\u00eb ngjashme. N\u00eb vend t\u00eb k\u00ebtyre kritikave pa ndonj\u00eb ndikim afatgjat\u00eb, do\nb\u00ebnit mire ta ndihmoni t\u00eb gjej\u00eb corapet, te p\u00ebrgatis\u00eb cant\u00ebn, dhe kur t\u00eb jeni\nrrug\u00ebs p\u00ebr n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb apo n\u00eb makin\u00eb me t\u00eb, mund ta angazhoni n\u00eb reflektim dhe\nme sugjerimet e menyrave te reja se si mund t\u00eb dilet m\u00eb shpejt nga sht\u00ebpia, si\nmund t\u00eb b\u00ebhen rrobat dhe canta gati nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb, e kshtu me rradh\u00eb p\u00ebr\nrastet n\u00eb vazhdim me q\u00ebllimin ( e shkuara m\u00ebsim p\u00ebr t\u00eb. ardhmen n\u00eb vend t\u00eb e\nshkuara nd\u00ebshkim p\u00ebr t\u00eb tashmen ).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.\nNd\u00ebrtoni rutina. Krijoni zakone, psh: cfar\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb para se t\u00eb flej\u00eb, ose\npara se t\u00eb niset p\u00ebr n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb. Sjelljet e mir\u00ebp\u00ebrs\u00ebritura me rregull,\nbrend\u00ebsohen duke u kthyer n\u00eb zakone, sjellje automatike apo kulture instiktive.\nNj\u00eb metod\u00eb shum\u00eb e dobishme kryesisht p\u00ebr mosh\u00ebn parashkollore, \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe\ndemostrimi me piktura per secilin veprim q\u00eb i duhet t\u00eb kryej\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb,\ndo t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb e thjesht p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb ndjekin rregullat, si dhe detyra juaj\ndo t\u00eb limitohet vet\u00ebm tek rikujtimi i piktur\u00ebs q\u00eb n\u00ebnkupton veprimin q\u00eb\nparaprakisht keni r\u00ebn\u00eb dakort\u201c a e b\u00ebre…?\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gjithashtu nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb tjet\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb krijimi i nj\u00eb\ngrafiku me shkrim n\u00eb t\u00eb cilin t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktohen bashkarisht me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn hap pas\nhapi detyrat e dit\u00ebs. M\u00eb pas grafiku me detyrat t\u00eb ngjitet \/ t\u00eb vendoset n\u00eb nje\nvend t\u00eb duksh\u00ebm p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebn n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ti kujtoj\u00eb atij detyrat q\u00eb e presin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. D\u00ebgjoni f\u00ebmij\u00ebn. N\u00ebse ju fiksoheni tek ekrani\ni smartphone kur f\u00ebmija juaj po ju flet, edhe ai do t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb kur\nju flisni. N\u00ebse doni q\u00eb f\u00ebmija t\u2019ju d\u00ebgjoje, l\u00ebreni pun\u00ebn q\u00eb po b\u00ebni dhe\nkthehuni nga ai duke e v\u00ebshtruar n\u00eb sy. Ky detaj aq i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm dhe\nshpeshher\u00eb i neglizhuar, nxit q\u00eb f\u00ebmija sot parashkollor, nes\u00ebr nj\u00eb adoleshent,\nakoma d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb ju d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb dhe bashkebisedoj\u00eb me ju, pasi t\u00eb d\u00ebgjohesh, do t\u00eb\nthot\u00eb t\u00eb respektohesh dhe vler\u00ebsohesh. K\u00ebto t\u00eb fundit, kan\u00eb tendenc\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb\nkthehen shum\u00eb leht\u00eb kur t\u00eb jan\u00eb dh\u00ebn\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Mos ngat\u00ebrroni disiplin\u00ebn me bised\u00ebn. N\u00ebse\nnuk d\u00ebshironi q\u00eb cdo nd\u00ebrveprim me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb urdh\u00ebr, vler\u00ebsoni\ncastet e bukura, t\u00eb dashura, arg\u00ebtuese, dhe zvog\u00eblojini k\u00ebrkesat \/ urdh\u00ebrat,\nduke i shmangur ato plot\u00ebsisht gjat\u00eb k\u00ebtyre momenteve dhe gjat\u00eb bisedave t\u00eb\nlira me f\u00ebmij\u00ebn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Kontrolloni mos ka probleme me t\u00eb d\u00ebgjuarin.\nShumic\u00ebn e rasteve f\u00ebmij\u00ebt mund t\u00eb mos d\u00ebgjojn\u00eb sepse nuk tregojn\u00eb v\u00ebmendje,\npor n\u00ebse f\u00ebmija juaj vazhdimisht duket sikur nuk i p\u00ebrpunon udh\u00ebzimet tuaja,\nndoshta ai ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb kontroll t\u00eb d\u00ebgjimit. N\u00ebse dyshoni n\u00eb pikat e\nm\u00ebsip\u00ebrme, at\u00ebher\u00eb mos hezitoni p\u00ebr nj\u00eb takim me pediatrin!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga MSC Besmir Guri, psikolog, email besmir_guri@hotmail.com 1.Mos filloni t\u00eb flisni, aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoni, pa patur v\u00ebm\u00ebndjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs suaj. Nuk mund t\u00eb urdh\u00ebroni nga dhoma tjet\u00ebr dhe t\u00eb prisni reagimin q\u00eb ju d\u00ebshironi. Shkoni af\u00ebr. uluni n\u00eb nivelin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs dhe prekeni f\u00ebmij\u00ebn leht\u00eb. Prisni derisa ai t\u00eb shikoj\u00eb lart. Shikojeni n\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21589,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21588","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21588"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21588\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}