{"id":21537,"date":"2019-03-14T21:00:59","date_gmt":"2019-03-14T20:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=21537"},"modified":"2019-03-14T20:13:55","modified_gmt":"2019-03-14T19:13:55","slug":"%ef%bb%bfcdo-tu-shkaktoje-dhuna-niperve-te-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/03\/%ef%bb%bfcdo-tu-shkaktoje-dhuna-niperve-te-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeff\u00c7\u2019do t\u2019u shkaktoj\u00eb dhuna nip\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>&#8211; S\u2019e di se sa do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmoni me nj\u00eb informacion, por jam shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr nip\u00ebrit e mi. Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb keqtrajtuar nga kunata ime e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e ashp\u00ebr me ta dhe i q\u00ebllon. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Ata jan\u00eb rrahur q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 1 vje\u00e7are dhe pavar\u00ebsisht nd\u00ebrhyrjes sime, ajo nuk ka ndryshuar sjellje, edhe pse ata tashm\u00eb jan\u00eb djali 6 vje\u00e7 dhe vajza, 4 vje\u00e7e. M\u00eb trishton shum\u00eb ky fakt. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>P\u00ebrse sillen k\u00ebshtu me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt? \u00c7far\u00eb do t\u2019u shkaktoj\u00eb atyre kjo lloj dhune? M\u00eb shkruani di\u00e7ka&#8230; Ndoshta n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ajo do ta lexoj\u00eb dhe do t\u2019i mbushet mendja q\u00eb po sillet keq. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Redaksia:<\/em><\/strong> <strong>&#8211;\n<\/strong>E nderuar lexuese, na vjen shum\u00eb keq p\u00ebr nip\u00ebrit tuaj dhe duhet b\u00ebr\u00eb patjet\u00ebr\ndi\u00e7ka q\u00eb n\u00ebna e tyre t\u00eb resht\u00eb s\u00eb dhunuari f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e saj. N\u00eb lidhje me\nkeqtrajtimin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, ne kemi nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb detajuar nga nj\u00eb grup\npsikolog\u00ebsh shqiptar\u00eb:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Prind\u00ebrit\nshpesh i godasin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt sepse vet\u00eb jan\u00eb aq t\u00eb frustruar sa nuk kan\u00eb pasur koh\u00eb\nt\u00eb mendojn\u00eb se cila mas\u00eb disiplinore do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb kishte efekt m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb te f\u00ebmija.\nFaktikisht, rrahja i m\u00ebson f\u00ebmij\u00ebs se \u00ebsht\u00eb e pranueshme t\u00eb anosh kah dhuna po\nqe se je m\u00eb i rritur dhe m\u00eb me ndikim&#8230; F\u00ebmij\u00ebt q\u00eb nd\u00ebshkohen dhe rrihen,\nshpesh jan\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr momentin, gj\u00eb q\u00eb mund t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb bindjen te\nprind\u00ebrit se d\u00ebnimi \u00ebsht\u00eb mas\u00eb e mir\u00eb edukative, megjithat\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se\nevidente se f\u00ebmija n\u00eb vetvete akumulon hidh\u00ebrimin dhe frustracionin. Kur f\u00ebmija\n\u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb apo me shok\u00ebt e vet, ai me siguri do t\u00eb shfryt\u00ebzoj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e\nshprehjes q\u00eb e ka m\u00ebsuar n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, pra, me dhun\u00eb. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt problematik\u00eb, i kan\u00eb\nqen\u00eb n\u00ebnshtruar keqtrajtimit m\u00eb shpesh se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb. Prind\u00ebrit q\u00eb nuk\nshfryt\u00ebzojn\u00eb dhun\u00ebn fizike, mund t\u00eb sillen armiq\u00ebsisht n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Ata\nmund t\u00eb aplikojn\u00eb keqtrajtim psikik me n\u00ebn\u00e7mimin, gjykimin dhe kritik\u00ebn e tyre.\nKjo sjellje i b\u00ebn f\u00ebmij\u00ebt m\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb pakapsh\u00ebm dhe frikacak\u00eb sesa agresiv\u00eb,\npara s\u00eb gjithash, n\u00ebse babai kritikon djalin. P\u00ebrpjekja q\u00eb f\u00ebmija t\u00eb b\u00ebhet m\u00eb i\nrritur dhe m\u00eb i pjekur p\u00ebrmes gjykimit t\u00eb var\u00ebsis\u00eb dhe dob\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb tij, shkakton\nvet\u00ebm var\u00ebsi e dob\u00ebsi tek ai. F\u00ebmija i d\u00ebnuar, shpesh, me sjellje f\u00ebmij\u00ebrore\nmundohet t\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sikur\nprind\u00ebrit t\u00eb ndaleshin vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb moment dhe t\u00eb pyesnin veten se \u00e7far\u00eb duan\nt\u2019i thon\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb vet p\u00ebrmes dhun\u00ebs apo p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb duan ta m\u00ebsojn\u00eb, me siguri\ndo t\u00eb kishin vendosur t\u00eb shfryt\u00ebzonin metoda t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb edukimit dhe disiplinimit.\nDhuna ofron shembull t\u00eb keq p\u00ebr m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e zgjidhjes s\u00eb konflikteve. N\u00ebse prindi\ne m\u00ebson f\u00ebmij\u00ebn se \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb goditet ndokush, f\u00ebmija merr leje q\u00eb t\u2019i\ngodas\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt: v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit, motrat, moshatar\u00ebt etj. Kur prindi e godet\nf\u00ebmij\u00ebn, ai i d\u00ebrgon atij \u201cmesazhin\u201d se fuqia mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb dobi n\u00eb realizimin e\nq\u00ebllimeve. F\u00ebmija asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb goditet me sende si\u00e7 jan\u00eb rripat, shkopinjt\u00eb\netj., madje edhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimi me rrahje shkakton frik\u00eb dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb e\ndhun\u00ebs. N\u00eb \u00e7far\u00ebdolloj forme t\u00eb paraqitet, d\u00ebnimi fizik zvog\u00eblon vet\u00ebrespektin te\nf\u00ebmija! Kjo nuk i ndihmon f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb m\u00ebsohen me vet\u00ebdisiplin\u00eb apo t\u00eb\nvet\u00ebkontrollohen; kur rrihen, f\u00ebmij\u00ebve u zgjohet nj\u00eb mori ndjenjash negative q\u00eb\ne pengojn\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebsuarit. Ata n\u00ebnshtrohen nga frika dhe i shmangen sjelljes s\u00eb\npad\u00ebshiruar p\u00ebr t\u2019iu larguar d\u00ebnimit, por n\u00eb vetvete, nuk i pranojn\u00eb rregullat\ndhe arsyet. F\u00ebmija b\u00ebhet i t\u00ebrhequr, u shmanget prind\u00ebrve e me k\u00ebt\u00eb, d\u00ebmtohen\nmarr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet e tyre t\u00eb nd\u00ebrsjella. Dhuna i habit f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Kur prind\u00ebrit i\nrrahin f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe thon\u00eb: \u201cK\u00ebt\u00eb e b\u00ebj nga dashuria\u201d apo \u201cKjo m\u00eb dhemb m\u00eb shum\u00eb\nse ty\u201d, f\u00ebmija fillon ta p\u00ebrziej\u00eb dashurin\u00eb e dhembjen dhe vendos lidhje\nnd\u00ebrmjet dashuris\u00eb dhe dhun\u00ebs. Rrahja krijon zinxhirin e dhun\u00ebs familjare dhe\nzhvillon armiq\u00ebsin\u00eb, t\u00ebrbimin dhe d\u00ebshir\u00ebn p\u00ebr hakmarrje. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hulumtimet\ntregojn\u00eb se f\u00ebmij\u00ebt q\u00eb rrihen nga prind\u00ebrit, shpesh si t\u00eb rritur, rrahin\npartner\u00ebt dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e vet! Kontrollojeni hidh\u00ebrimin tuaj! Shfryt\u00ebzoni fjal\u00eb\ndhe masa n\u00eb vend t\u00eb d\u00ebnimit fizik. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt tuaj do t\u00eb m\u00ebsojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhe m\u00eb\nshum\u00eb do t\u2019ju respektojn\u00eb! Pse nuk duhet ta rrihni f\u00ebmij\u00ebn tuaj? Sepse rrahja nuk\ni m\u00ebson f\u00ebmij\u00ebt vet\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb kujdessh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb d\u00ebgjuesh\u00ebm, por edhe t\u00eb\nmendojn\u00eb keq p\u00ebr veten, t\u2019u lind\u00eb frika e d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr hakmarrje dhe u jep leje\nq\u00eb t\u2019i godasin ata q\u00eb i duan. Frika e rrahjes, madje edhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet me t\u00eb, i\nfrik\u00ebsojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe ata q\u00eb frik\u00ebsohen prej prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb vet shpesh fillojn\u00eb\nt\u00eb ndjejn\u00eb frik\u00eb edhe prej t\u00eb rriturve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb. Vet\u00eb dallimi n\u00eb mosh\u00eb nd\u00ebrmjet\nprind\u00ebrve dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb trishtues, ndaj k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet e vazhdueshme dhe\nshfryt\u00ebzimi i mbifuqis\u00eb fizike i tregojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs se ai asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk ka gjasa\nt\u00eb fitoj\u00eb. Siguria e tij, thjesht, i \u00ebsht\u00eb l\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00ebshir\u00ebs dhe pam\u00ebshir\u00ebs s\u00eb\nprind\u00ebrve dhe f\u00ebmija, i cili p\u00ebrher\u00eb u \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00ebnshtruar k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimeve fillon t\u00eb\nmendoj\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb i pavler\u00eb, i padashur dhe i pad\u00ebshiruar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>F\u00ebmija i cili\ngjithmon\u00eb rrihet, k\u00ebrkon hakmarrje dhe, meq\u00eb nuk mund ta kthej\u00eb goditjen, ai\nk\u00ebrkon m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb tjera hakmarrjeje. Thyerja e nj\u00eb sendi t\u00eb prindit, shkrimi\nn\u00ebp\u00ebr mure apo vjedhja, jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm disa m\u00ebnyra me t\u00eb cilat f\u00ebmija ia \u201ckthen\u201d monedh\u00ebn\npersonit q\u00eb e rreh. F\u00ebmija n\u00eb mosh\u00eb shtat\u00ebvje\u00e7are ndoshta nuk i kupton\ngjithmon\u00eb arsyet p\u00ebr ekzistimin e rregullave, por sqarimi u jep pesh\u00eb\nrregullave. Kur f\u00ebmija t\u00eb ket\u00eb shkelur ndonj\u00eb rregull, duhet t\u00eb d\u00ebnohet me\np\u00ebrpikm\u00ebri dhe drejtp\u00ebrdrejt. M\u00eb mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb f\u00ebmija t\u00eb d\u00ebnohet menj\u00ebher\u00eb, sesa\nt\u00eb thuhet: \u201cPrit sa t\u00eb vij\u00eb babai n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi\u201d. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt b\u00ebjn\u00eb ashtu si\u00e7 b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb\nrriturit e jo si thon\u00eb t\u00eb rriturit. T\u00eb rriturit dhe prind\u00ebrit jan\u00eb shembuj p\u00ebr\nf\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Prind\u00ebrit jan\u00eb shembull i keq p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre n\u00ebse vet\u00eb nuk jetojn\u00eb\nashtu si\u00e7 i m\u00ebsojn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Shpresojm\u00eb q\u00eb ky shkrim kaq i detajuar mbi keqtrajtimin\ne f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb sh\u00ebrbej\u00eb si nj\u00eb manual m\u00ebsimi p\u00ebr ata prind\u00ebr q\u00eb sillen n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8211; S\u2019e di se sa do t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmoni me nj\u00eb informacion, por jam shum\u00eb e shqet\u00ebsuar p\u00ebr nip\u00ebrit e mi. Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb keqtrajtuar nga kunata ime e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e ashp\u00ebr me ta dhe i q\u00ebllon. Ata jan\u00eb rrahur q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 1 vje\u00e7are dhe pavar\u00ebsisht nd\u00ebrhyrjes sime, ajo nuk ka ndryshuar [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":21538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[319],"class_list":["post-21537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-psikologji"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21537\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}