{"id":20766,"date":"2019-01-27T21:00:35","date_gmt":"2019-01-27T20:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=20766"},"modified":"2019-01-27T14:34:52","modified_gmt":"2019-01-27T13:34:52","slug":"%ef%bb%bfku-qendron-forca-terheqese-e-nje-mashkulli","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/01\/%ef%bb%bfku-qendron-forca-terheqese-e-nje-mashkulli\/","title":{"rendered":"\ufeffKu q\u00ebndron forca t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse e nj\u00eb mashkulli?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><br><strong><em>Disa psikolog\u00eb thon\u00eb se forca t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse e nj\u00eb mashkulli p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr\nvete nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr q\u00ebndron n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u00eb pamja e tij e jashtme. Disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb\nv\u00ebn\u00eb mbi \u00e7do veti tjet\u00ebr men\u00e7urin\u00eb, kurse t\u00eb tret\u00ebt, gjendjen e mir\u00eb ekonomike.\nT\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto variante jan\u00eb t\u00eb pranueshme, por sipas anketave me nj\u00eb num\u00ebr t\u00eb\nmadh grash, del se forca t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse e nj\u00eb mashkulli, q\u00ebndroka gjetk\u00eb\u2026 Ku, pra?\nMeshkujt, n\u00ebnvizojn\u00eb specialist\u00ebt, kan\u00eb dy ve\u00e7ori, t\u00eb cilat i b\u00ebjn\u00eb ata m\u00eb t\u00ebrheq\u00ebs\nn\u00eb syt\u00eb e femrave dhe k\u00ebto jan\u00eb: Besimi n\u00eb vetvete dhe k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulja p\u00ebr t\u00eb\narritur q\u00ebllimin. Me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb, psikolog\u00ebt dhe sociolog\u00ebt nuk kan\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb ende n\u00eb\nnj\u00eb mendje p\u00ebr vetit\u00eb mashkullore q\u00eb t\u00ebrheqin m\u00eb shum\u00eb nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr, por\nsidoqoft\u00eb, ata p\u00ebrcaktojn\u00eb shtat\u00eb rregulla, t\u00eb cilat e ndihmojn\u00eb nj\u00eb mashkull\nt\u2019u bjer\u00eb n\u00eb sy grave dhe t\u2019u p\u00eblqej\u00eb atyre. K\u00ebto jan\u00eb:<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>1. V\u00ebshtrimi sa m\u00eb\nmbres\u00ebl\u00ebn\u00ebs, para p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetjes<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psikolog\u00ebt mendojn\u00eb se n\u00eb procesin e njohjes s\u00eb nj\u00eb femre me nj\u00eb mashkull,\n\u201cvendimin\u201d p\u00ebr q\u00ebndrimin ndaj tij, gruaja e merr q\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7astet e para t\u00eb\ntakimit, duke u bazuar te p\u00ebrshtypjet q\u00eb i l\u00eb ai n\u00eb k\u00ebto \u00e7aste. M\u00eb pak rol se\ngjith\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb marrjen e k\u00ebtij vendimi, z\u00ebn\u00eb p\u00ebrshtypjet nga bisedat me t\u00eb.\nRolin vendimtar (55%) e luan informacioni nga gjestet, mimika dhe komunikimi\ntjet\u00ebr, joverbal. Nd\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto, p\u00ebrshtypjet m\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebdha ia l\u00eb gruas\nv\u00ebshtrimi i mashkullit para p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetjes, pra, m\u00ebnyra se si e shikon ai femr\u00ebn\nn\u00eb momentet e para t\u00eb takimit. Prandaj, psikolog\u00ebt i k\u00ebshillojn\u00eb meshkujt q\u00eb,\nkur duan t\u00eb lidhen m\u00eb nje fem\u00ebr, ta shikojn\u00eb at\u00eb drejt e n\u00eb sy sepse k\u00ebshtu do\nt\u00eb marrin vesh sakaq edhe \u201cmendimin e saj p\u00ebr t\u00eb\u201d. N\u00eb rast se ajo ju shikon\ndrejt n\u00eb sy dhe aq m\u00eb mir\u00eb, kur e shoq\u00ebron v\u00ebshtrimin e saj me buz\u00ebqeshje,\nk\u00ebshillojn\u00eb ata, vazhdojeni bised\u00ebn. N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt\u00ebn, n\u00eb rast se ajo nuk di ku\nta p\u00ebrqendroj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrimin dhe i hedh syt\u00eb sa andej-k\u00ebtej, m\u00eb mir\u00eb mos vazhdoni,\npasi ju mbeten pak shance p\u00ebr t\u00eb fituar shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb dhe miq\u00ebsin\u00eb e saj. K\u00ebrkoni\nm\u00eb mir\u00eb nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr tjet\u00ebr. Momentet e para t\u00eb takimit e kan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb pun\u00ebn e tyre,\nvendimi \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00eb: Ju i keni p\u00eblqyer asaj (n\u00eb rastin e par\u00eb) ose nuk i keni\np\u00eblqyer (n\u00eb rastin e dyt\u00eb). Mos harroni p\u00ebr asnj\u00eb \u00e7ast se femra d\u00ebshiron t\u00eb\nkomunikoj\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb me shenja e nojma sesa me fjal\u00eb, prandaj p\u00ebrpiquni t\u00eb\nsiguroni predispozit\u00ebn e saj q\u00eb n\u00eb momentet e para, me an\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrimi t\u00eb\np\u00ebrqendruar, sa m\u00eb mbres\u00ebl\u00ebn\u00ebs. Praktikisht, q\u00eb n\u00eb segmentet e para t\u00eb koh\u00ebs,\npara p\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetjes, p\u00ebrcaktohet m\u00eb shum\u00eb se gjysma e fatit t\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve\ntuaja me t\u00eb\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>2. Ve\u00e7ojeni q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim nga\nshoqet e saj<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">N\u00eb rast se jeni n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri vajzash e djemsh dhe doni t\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqni\nv\u00ebmendjen e ndonj\u00ebr\u00ebs, ve\u00e7ojeni at\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim nga t\u00eb tjerat, ama, n\u00eb nj\u00eb\nm\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ajo ta kuptoj\u00eb. P\u00ebrqendrimi i v\u00ebmendjes nj\u00ebher\u00ebsh te t\u00eb gjitha, pa\np\u00ebrjashtim, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb kusht i padiskutuesh\u00ebm d\u00ebshtimi. P\u00ebr t\u00eb t\u00ebrhequr\nv\u00ebmendjen e nje gruaje, i duhet l\u00ebn\u00eb asaj t\u00eb ndjej\u00eb dhe t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb se p\u00ebr ju,\najo paraqet interes t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb dhe nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb si gjith\u00eb t\u00eb tjerat. Madje, edhe\nkur ju p\u00eblqejn\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri dy-tri femra nj\u00ebher\u00ebsh, ju duhet ta ndani menden\np\u00ebr t\u2019u p\u00ebrqendruar vet\u00ebm te njera, p\u00ebrndryshe, e humb\u00ebt davan\u00eb dhe do t\u00eb\nktheheni n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi vet\u00ebm\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>3. Jepini t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb se p\u00ebr\nju, ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb gruaja m\u00eb e shk\u00eblqyer n\u00eb gjith\u00eb planetin<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psikolog\u00ebt dhe seksolog\u00ebt v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dukje se femra, shpeshher\u00eb, vendos\nkontakt me nj\u00eb mashkull vet\u00ebm sepse ai e detyron at\u00eb t\u00eb ndjej\u00eb dhe t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb\nse po ndodh di\u00e7ka e jasht\u00ebzakonshme. N\u00eb rast se n\u00eb pranin\u00eb tuaj, n\u00ebnvizon nj\u00eb\nseksolog i njohur, ajo e ndjen veten gruaja m\u00eb e bukur n\u00eb at\u00eb rreth ku\nndodheni, ju do t\u00eb keni patjet\u00ebr shanc q\u00eb t\u00eb takoheni p\u00ebrs\u00ebri me t\u00eb\u2026 Ky\nrregull, \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb e drejta, vepron edhe n\u00eb shum\u00eb sfera t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve\nreciproke me nj\u00eb grua. Kur shikojn\u00eb se kan\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb me nj\u00eb mashkull q\u00eb u\nimponon nj\u00eb mendim dhe ndjesi t\u00eb till\u00eb, grat\u00eb e shikojn\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm\nshoq\u00ebrimin me t\u00eb dhe i besojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb atij. Por, edhe ky rregull ka nj\u00eb\np\u00ebrjashtim; n\u00eb rast se ju shikoni se te nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr kjo ndjenj\u00eb dhe ky mendim\n\u00ebsht\u00eb i duksh\u00ebm dhe shoq\u00ebrohet me nj\u00eb shfaqje egoizmi, at\u00ebhere nuk ia vlen t\u2019ia\nushqeni m\u00eb tep\u00ebr\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>4. B\u00ebjini komplimente q\u00eb\nmund t\u2019ia ken\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt para jush<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ndodh q\u00eb meshkujt, shpeshher\u00eb, nuk u afrohen grave t\u00eb bukura dhe simpatike\nsepse mendojn\u00eb se nuk kan\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb komplimentesh t\u2019u b\u00ebjn\u00eb dhe si ta fillojn\u00eb\nbised\u00ebn me to, sepse fjal\u00ebt q\u00eb do t\u2019u thon\u00eb ata k\u00ebtyre grave, ato i kan\u00eb\nd\u00ebgjuar me vakt e me koh\u00eb nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt\u2026&nbsp;\n\u00cbsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet p\u00ebr t\u00eb qeshur, por realitet. Megjithat\u00eb, sipas anketave t\u00eb\nvet\u00eb grave, komplimentet e p\u00ebrs\u00ebritura, fjal\u00ebt q\u00eb i kan\u00eb d\u00ebgjuar edhe nga\nmeshkujt e tjer\u00eb, grave jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk u sjellin m\u00ebrzi, por p\u00ebrkundrazi, u\np\u00eblqejn\u00eb. Nguliteni n\u00eb tru se t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat fjal\u00eb nga meshkuj t\u00eb ndrysh\u00ebm, grat\u00eb i\npresin n\u00eb m\u00ebnyra t\u00eb ndryshme&nbsp; dhe se nuk\njan\u00eb fjal\u00ebt ato q\u00eb ndikojn\u00eb te grat\u00eb, por si\u00e7 tham\u00eb, v\u00ebshtrimi, intonacioni,\ngjestet dhe mjete t\u00eb tjera komunikimi joverbale. Silluni me femrat pa druajtje,\nnatyrsh\u00ebm, hapur dhe ato do t\u2019ju jen\u00eb mir\u00ebnjoh\u00ebse e do t\u2019ju simpatizojn\u00eb p\u00ebr\nk\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>5. Kur vendosni t\u00eb lidheni\nme nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr, shmanguni nga klishet\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mos p\u00ebrdorni fraza stereotipe, t\u00eb gatshme dhe t\u00eb konsumuara sepse ato ose\ndo t\u2019ju l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb pozit\u00eb inferiore, ose do t\u2019ju prezantojn\u00eb te femrat si nj\u00eb\nmashkull pa p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb&#8230; Mjafton t\u00eb jeni i hapur, i sinqert\u00eb dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqeni t\u00eb\njeni \u201cn\u00eb nj\u00eb val\u00eb\u201d me bashk\u00ebbiseduesen tuaj t\u00eb preferuar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>6. Mos tentoni kurr\u00eb ta\ngjeni partneren n\u00ebp\u00ebr baret dhe lokalet e nat\u00ebs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kur shkon n\u00eb bar ose n\u00eb lokalet e nat\u00ebs, gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e kujdesshme\ndhe e p\u00ebrgatitur p\u00ebr t\u2019i b\u00ebr\u00eb ball\u00eb \u201csulmit\u201d t\u00eb meshkujve. Ajo mund t\u2019ju\nrefuzoj\u00eb kur e ftoni n\u00eb k\u00ebrcim ose kur i k\u00ebrkoni mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb biseduar, p\u00ebr\nshkaqe nga m\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshmet. N\u00eb k\u00ebto lokale, femrat, zakonisht, ndodhen n\u00eb\n&#8220;pozita mbrojt\u00ebse&#8221; dhe pik\u00ebrisht ky q\u00ebndrim i paracaktuar, mund t\u2019ju\nd\u00ebmtoj\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb. Gjendja e saj n\u00eb gatishm\u00ebri num\u00ebr 1 p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrballuar sulmet e\nmeshkujve, do t\u00eb punoj\u00eb kund\u00ebr jush. Prandaj, m\u00eb mir\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb ju t\u00eb njiheni me\nnj\u00eb fem\u00ebr n\u00eb vende dhe rrethana t\u00eb tjera\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>7. M\u00ebsoni t\u00eb t\u00ebrhiqeni n\u00eb\nmomentin e duhur<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">P\u00ebr femrat s&#8217;ka njeri tjet\u00ebr m\u00eb t\u00eb neveritsh\u00ebm sesa meshkujt \u201cq\u00eb t\u00eb qepen\u201d.\nNdiqini me kujdes gjestet e femr\u00ebs. Ato do t\u2019ju tregojn\u00eb jo vet\u00ebm shkall\u00ebn dhe\nnivelin e interesave t\u00eb saj, por edhe koh\u00ebn e sakt\u00eb t\u00eb largimit\u2026 Ndiqni me\nv\u00ebmendje n\u00ebse ajo ju shikon drejt n\u00eb sy apo \u00ebsht\u00eb e pap\u00ebrqendruar dhe e hedh\nv\u00ebshtrimin sa andej-k\u00ebtej\u2026 K\u00ebtu duhet shum\u00eb kujdes: N\u00ebse ju i harxhuat \u201ct\u00eb\ngjith\u00eb fishek\u00ebt\u201d dhe nuk q\u00eblluat dot n\u00eb shenj\u00eb, por ajo vazhdon t\u00eb jet\u00eb ndaj\njush indiferente, e painteresuar, ndaloni \u00e7do p\u00ebrpjekje dhe ngrihuni e ikni. Rastis\nq\u00eb, duke e nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb bised\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7ast kulminant, ju mund t\u00eb ndikoni p\u00ebr t\u00eb\nngjallur tek ajo d\u00ebshir\u00ebn e nj\u00eb takimi tjet\u00ebr, por k\u00ebt\u00eb takim, ama, mos ia\npropozoni dhe as mos iu impononi ju, l\u00ebreni, sepse, po t\u00eb d\u00ebshiroj\u00eb, ajo do t\u2019i\ngjej\u00eb vet\u00eb m\u00ebnyrat \u201cp\u00ebr vazhdmin e bised\u00ebs s\u00eb nd\u00ebrprer\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>8. Ndiqni rregullat e loj\u00ebs\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Mos u d\u00ebshp\u00ebroni nga ndonj\u00eb refuzim i mundsh\u00ebm, pavar\u00ebsisht se n\u00eb \u00e7\u2019form\u00eb\nshprehet ai nga nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr. Mos harroni se edhe vet\u00eb Don Zhuani pati refuzime\nnga femrat. Sekreti i suksesit t\u00eb tij q\u00ebndron vet\u00ebm n\u00eb faktin se ai nuk i\nhumbte kurr\u00eb shpresat dhe as i nd\u00ebrpriste orvatjet p\u00ebr t\u2019u afruar me ato q\u00eb i\np\u00eblqenin\u2026 Mos harroni se ky refuzim mund t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb fare me ju. Ajo,\nn\u00eb ato \u00e7aste, mund t\u00eb mos ket\u00eb qen\u00eb \u201cn\u00eb or\u00eb t\u00eb mira\u201d, mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb patur ndonj\u00eb\n\u201chall\u201d ose arsye jasht\u00eb raporteve tuaja. Psikolog\u00ebt pohojn\u00eb se, po t\u00eb tregoheni\nt\u00eb kujdessh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb respektoni \u201crregullat e loj\u00ebs\u201d, nuk do t\u00eb prisni nj\u00eb\nsukses t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm. P\u00ebrpiquni, duke mbajtur parasysh, sigurisht, at\u00eb q\u00eb tham\u00eb,\nse p\u00ebr femrat s&#8217;ka njeri tjet\u00ebr m\u00eb t\u00eb neveritsh\u00ebm sesa meshkujt ngjit\u00ebs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Disa psikolog\u00eb thon\u00eb se forca t\u00ebrheq\u00ebse e nj\u00eb mashkulli p\u00ebr ta b\u00ebr\u00eb p\u00ebr vete nj\u00eb fem\u00ebr q\u00ebndron n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb t\u00eb pamja e tij e jashtme. Disa t\u00eb tjer\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb mbi \u00e7do veti tjet\u00ebr men\u00e7urin\u00eb, kurse t\u00eb tret\u00ebt, gjendjen e mir\u00eb ekonomike. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto variante jan\u00eb t\u00eb pranueshme, por sipas anketave me nj\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":20767,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[2204],"class_list":["post-20766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-intimitet","tag-forca-terheqese"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20766"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20766\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20767"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}