{"id":20649,"date":"2019-01-20T16:00:29","date_gmt":"2019-01-20T15:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=20649"},"modified":"2019-01-20T13:52:13","modified_gmt":"2019-01-20T12:52:13","slug":"pse-ndryshoi-djali-keshtu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/01\/pse-ndryshoi-djali-keshtu\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse ndryshoi djali k\u00ebshtu?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>E nderuar psikologe. Desha nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb\nnga ju meq\u00eb e vetme nuk po mundem m\u00eb t\u2019ia dal\u00eb edhe pse un\u00eb vet\u00eb jam me profesion\nnj\u00ebsoj si ju. Problemi q\u00ebndron k\u00ebtu: kam dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb, djali q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb 6 vjet e\ngjysm\u00eb dhe vajza q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dy vje\u00e7e. Un\u00eb si n\u00ebn\u00eb kisha kujdes t\u00eb ve\u00e7ante p\u00ebr\ndjalin dhe mendoj se me lindjen e vajz\u00ebs kujdesi u nda n\u00eb dysh, gj\u00eb q\u00eb e prishi\nrendin dhe rregullat n\u00eb familjen time. N\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi djali ishte shum\u00eb i qet\u00eb,\ni edukuar dhe gjith\u00e7ka shkonte ok, tani q\u00eb ka filluar edhe shkoll\u00ebn ku \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb\nme m\u00ebsime por n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi \u00ebsht\u00eb rebeluar paksa, nj\u00eb jo e imja p\u00ebr t\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb\nnormale dhe nuk ia v\u00eb veshin fare, gj\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb shqet\u00ebson dhe fjala e kthyer e\ntij, edhe pse un\u00eb e kuptoj k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb por s\u2019m\u00eb duket shum\u00eb normale ndryshimi i\ntij aq i shpejt, motr\u00ebn e do&nbsp; shum\u00eb por\nka raste kur b\u00ebn gj\u00ebra t\u00eb q\u00ebllimshme ndaj saj. Kam provuar me bised\u00eb, kam\nprovuar pak me d\u00ebnime, pak me nd\u00ebshkim por mendoj se nuk m\u00eb \u00e7ojn\u00eb askund k\u00ebto\ngj\u00ebra&nbsp; sepse djali vet\u00ebm sa m\u00eb largohet\nedhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb. Ai ka qen\u00eb f\u00ebmija m\u00eb i but\u00eb dhe m\u00eb i dashur q\u00eb kam njohur. Ajo\nq\u00eb m\u00eb vret m\u00eb shum\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb se e ndjej sikur s\u2019m\u00eb do m\u00eb dhe s\u2019m\u00eb afrohet si\ndikur, \u00c7far\u00eb mund t\u00eb m\u00eb sugjeroni ju q\u00eb ta kaloj nj\u00eb situat\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"> <br><strong>Lorela Garuli, psikologe, email lorela_garuli@hotmail.com:-<\/strong> ! T\u00eb sjell\u00ebsh n\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb dyt\u00eb k\u00ebrkon angazhim\u00a0 n\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitjen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb. Gjithashtu duhet dhe\u00a0 vetnd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsim i prindit,\u00a0 t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb ekuilib\u00ebr si t\u00eb ndjenjave po ashtu dhe t\u00eb sjelljeve kundrejt\u00a0 f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb par\u00eb dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebs s\u00eb porsalindur, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb shmangen xhelozit\u00eb. Me ardhjen e nj\u00eb pjes\u00ebtari t\u00eb ri n\u00eb familje f\u00ebmija shikon q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb personazhi kryesor. Prind\u00ebrit rendin pas bebit, duke e mbajtur n\u00eb krah\u00eb kur qan apo nj\u00eb temperatur\u00eb e mund\u00ebshme b\u00ebn q\u00eb e gjith\u00eb v\u00ebm\u00ebndja t\u00eb zhvendoset aty. Gjat\u00eb dark\u00ebs n\u00ebnat jan\u00eb t\u00eb lodhura ose t\u00eb z\u00ebna me p\u00ebrkujdesjen e bebit dhe v\u00ebllai apo motra m\u00eb e madhe i z\u00eb gjumi pa u lexuar p\u00ebrrall\u00ebn e tyre.\u00a0 E dashur let\u00ebrshkruese \u00a0ju thoni q\u00eb jeni e fush\u00ebs s\u00eb psikologjis\u00eb dhe nga ana teorike besoj jeni e mir\u00eb informuar, k\u00ebshtu un\u00eb po ju jap disa k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb thjeshta praktike. Kujdesi dhe p\u00ebrkushtimi juaj\u00a0 tashm\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb fokusuar tek vajza aq m\u00eb tep\u00ebr n\u00ebse e mbani n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb kaloni gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebn me t\u00eb, nd\u00ebrsa djali shkon n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb dhe\u00a0 i ngelet vet\u00ebm pasditja p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebndruar pran\u00eb jush. Kur djali t\u00eb kthehet nga shkolla n\u00ebse ju jeni duke mbajtur n\u00eb krah\u00eb vajz\u00ebn mund ta lini nj\u00eb moment m\u00ebnjan\u00eb dhe t\u2019a mir\u00ebprisni at\u00eb duke e p\u00ebrqafuar, pyeteni si e kaloi dit\u00ebn n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, i thoni q\u00eb e ndjet\u00eb munges\u00ebn e tij. I kushtoni v\u00ebm\u00ebndje vet\u00ebm atij n\u00eb ato momente\u00a0 pa u shp\u00ebrq\u00ebndruar\u00a0 me vajz\u00ebn. \u00a0Gjat\u00eb b\u00ebrjes s\u00eb detyrave\u00a0 n\u00ebse ju k\u00ebrkon ndihm\u00eb dhe ju jeni duke u marr\u00eb \u00a0me vajz\u00ebn shpjegojani but\u00eb arsyen pse nuk mundeni . Kur i thoni jo, mos ja thoni jo t\u00eb prer\u00eb, por duke ja shpjeguar. Sa here q\u00eb t\u00eb jepet mund\u00ebsia dil vet\u00ebm me djalin nj\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje apo n\u00eb k\u00ebndin e lojrave sepse atij i mungon koha kur dikur ju keni dal\u00eb bashk\u00eb. Gjat\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesjes s\u00eb vajz\u00ebs mundohu ta p\u00ebrfshish n\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb vogla, por gjithmon\u00eb duke b\u00ebr\u00eb kujdes q\u00eb mos ti ngarkosh p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi. Kujtoi atij q\u00eb jeni kujdesur po n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb kur ka q\u00ebn\u00eb i vog\u00ebl. Mos e detyro asnj\u00ebher\u00eb q\u00eb lodrat e tij t\u2019ia jap\u00eb motr\u00ebs, por binde\u00a0 duke komunikuar but\u00eb me t\u00eb. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb k\u00ebrko mendimin e tij n\u00eb vendime t\u00eb vogla\u00a0 si p\u00ebrshembull p\u00ebr zgjedhjen e lodrave. \u00a0Duke patur parasysh mosh\u00ebn e t\u00eb dyve mendoj q\u00eb tani do ju fillojn\u00eb dhe z\u00ebnkat mes tyre, ndaj ju k\u00ebshilloj q\u00eb t\u00eb mundoheni t\u00eb mos nd\u00ebrhyni (sigurisht duke i kontrolluar) sepse ne jemi t\u00eb prirur t\u00eb mbajm\u00eb nga m\u00eb i vogli dhe kjo gj\u00eb nxit zem\u00ebrimin e tij ndaj jush. \u00a0Nd\u00ebshkimet nuk j\u2019ua k\u00ebshilloj sepse kjo gj\u00eb mund t\u00eb krijoj\u00eb urrejtje t\u00eb v\u00ebllait ndaj motr\u00ebs, ai do mendoj\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebr fajin e saj ju po e nd\u00ebshkoni. Duke ju uruar gjith\u00eb t\u00eb mirat shpresoj q\u00eb k\u00ebto k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb thjeshta t\u2019ju vijn\u00eb sadopak n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>E nderuar psikologe. Desha nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb nga ju meq\u00eb e vetme nuk po mundem m\u00eb t\u2019ia dal\u00eb edhe pse un\u00eb vet\u00eb jam me profesion nj\u00ebsoj si ju. Problemi q\u00ebndron k\u00ebtu: kam dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb, djali q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb 6 vjet e gjysm\u00eb dhe vajza q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dy vje\u00e7e. Un\u00eb si n\u00ebn\u00eb kisha kujdes t\u00eb ve\u00e7ante p\u00ebr djalin [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":19716,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[1194],"class_list":["post-20649","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-lorela-garuli"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20649","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20649"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20649\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20649"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20649"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20649"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}