{"id":19981,"date":"2019-01-10T12:30:53","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T11:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=19981"},"modified":"2019-01-10T11:19:33","modified_gmt":"2019-01-10T10:19:33","slug":"pse-ndihem-boshe-dhe-pse-nuk-me-mungon-asgje","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2019\/01\/pse-ndihem-boshe-dhe-pse-nuk-me-mungon-asgje\/","title":{"rendered":"Pse ndihem boshe dhe pse nuk m\u00eb mungon asgj\u00eb?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><br><strong>E nderuar gazeta Intervista dhe n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti psikologet tuaja q\u00eb nuk lodhen \u00e7do jav\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb pran\u00eb lexuesve dhe atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb, si un\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast. Jam Bela, jam 25 vje\u00e7e dhe dua nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr veten time por besoj se ka edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb q\u00eb e vuajn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb q\u00eb vuaj un\u00eb dhe do i ndihmonit edhe ata. Kam mbaruar fakultetin q\u00eb doja, jam n\u00eb nj\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb,  nuk m\u00eb mungon asgj\u00eb e megjithat\u00eb, ndihem e m\u00ebrzitur, e ndihem bosh. Me siguri, ata q\u00eb m\u00eb njohin dhe shohin do t\u00eb donin q\u00eb t\u00eb ishin si un\u00eb, por nuk jan\u00eb e megjithat\u00eb, shum\u00eb prej tyre jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb g\u00ebzuar se un\u00eb. Po ashtu, shoh shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb m\u00ebrzitur, sidomos t\u00eb rinj dhe m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb si obsesion q\u00eb t\u00eb gjej se pse ndihem k\u00ebshtu edhe pse nuk kam arsye. Ju lutem, m\u00eb ktheni nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje: Pse shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz ndihen t\u00eb m\u00ebrzitur edhe pse nuk u mungon asgj\u00eb? Me respekt. Bela<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Amarilda Garuli, psikologe, email\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"mailto:ilda.garuli@gmail.com:-\"><strong>ilda.garuli@gmail.com:-<\/strong><\/a>P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje Bela! T\u00eb falenderoj p\u00ebr pyetjen. Do ta nis duke t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb\u00a0q\u00eb\u00a0m\u00eb shum\u00eb se sa k\u00ebshilla p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjetur ekuilibrin q\u00eb ti k\u00ebrkon,do t\u00eb\u00a0duhet t\u00eb\u00a0pranosh q\u00eb efektivisht ekziston nj\u00eb problem q\u00eb duhet zgjidhur. \u00cbsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme sepse nevoja p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb\u00a0gj\u00ebra t\u00eb ndryshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb futur\u00a0rutina t\u00eb reja,\u00a0do t\u00eb na ndihmonte p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar m\u00ebrzin\u00eb dhe faktin q\u00eb ndjeheni bosh.\u00a0T\u00eb ndalosh p\u00ebr t\u00eb par\u00eb\u00a0\u00e7far\u00eb nuk shkon,\u00a0t\u00eb merresh me veten dhe t\u00eb kuptosh se kush jan\u00eb pikat q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb pa lumtur.\u00a0N\u00ebse e kupton q\u00eb je e m\u00ebrzitur\u00a0duhet t\u00eb kuptosh q\u00eb je futur n\u00eb nj\u00eb rutin\u00eb\u00a0ditore q\u00eb t\u00eb merr\u00a0shum\u00eb koh\u00eb nga jeta dhe p\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr q\u00eb kjo t\u00eb ndodh pa e kuptuar dhe nuk ke koh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mendosh p\u00ebrse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shpesh her\u00eb ekziston nj\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb e madhe midis asaj q\u00eb d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb racionale ,asaj q\u00eb d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb&nbsp;kultur\u00ebs n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn jetojm\u00eb dhe asaj q\u00eb d\u00ebshirojm\u00eb efektivisht,q\u00eb mund t\u00eb na b\u00ebj\u00eb&nbsp;t\u00eb lumtur.&nbsp;Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb rast\u00ebsi q\u00eb zgjedhjet q\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb,&nbsp;n\u00eb dukje na k\u00ebnaqin, e m\u00eb pas t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb q\u00eb jan\u00eb atovet\u00eb q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb pa lumtur,&nbsp;pavar\u00ebsisht nga profesioni apo puna q\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb.&nbsp;Po sa shum\u00eb raste mund t`ju p\u00ebrm\u00ebnd q\u00eb i dini dhe ju,&nbsp;njer\u00ebz t\u00eb suksessh\u00ebm q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb shum\u00eb aktivitete dhe t\u00eb jen\u00eb viktima e par\u00eb&nbsp;e aktiviteteve q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb. Q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb frustruarnga rutina e p\u00ebrdit\u00ebshme dhe nuk e ndjejn\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb vet\u00ebn at\u00eb q\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb dhe sa&nbsp;t\u00eb tjer\u00eb do t\u00eb donin t\u00eb ishin&nbsp;sikur&nbsp;nj\u00eb moment n\u00eb v\u00ebndin e tyre.&nbsp;Normalisht jetojm\u00eb jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb mbi zgjedhje t\u00eb \u201cduhura\u201dzgjedhje q\u00eb duhet t\u2019i b\u00ebjm\u00eb dhe zgjedhje q\u00eb i kemi n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi.&nbsp;Do t\u00eb thoja zgjedhje q\u00eb&nbsp;ndikohen nga miq,&nbsp;koleg\u00eb,prind\u00ebr,&nbsp;partner,&nbsp;f\u00ebmij\u00eb,&nbsp;nga statusi social dhe&nbsp;nga kultura e v\u00ebndit ku jetojm\u00eb.&nbsp;T\u00eb gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto faktor\u00eb p\u00ebr mua jan\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm sepse ndikojn\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pa vet\u00ebdijshme dhe na b\u00ebjn\u00eb jo t\u00eb lumtur.&nbsp;Zgjidhja \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb zbulosh p\u00ebrtej \u00e7do justifikimi q\u00eb mund t\u00eb b\u00ebsh me veten, dy gj\u00ebra shum\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme q\u00eb un\u00eb shpesh ja b\u00ebj dhe vetes.&nbsp;Kush je ti si person dhe \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn ty t\u00eb lumtur.&nbsp;Mbi t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb kuptosh \u00e7far\u00eb ta jep ty lumturin\u00eb&nbsp;p\u00ebrball\u00eb gj\u00ebrave q\u00eb t\u00eb frustrojn\u00eb dhe q\u00eb jan\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebt\u00eb domosdoshme dhe t\u00eb justifikushme p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebn\u00eb&nbsp;aty.&nbsp;Si puna,shkollimi,qyteti ku jeton apo njerzit q\u00eb t\u00eb rrethojn\u00eb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>T\u00eb fillosh t\u00eb dal\u00ebsh me hapa t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl nga kjo rutin\u00eb&nbsp;dhe t\u00eb shoh\u00ebsh n\u00ebse gj\u00ebrat p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsohen sepse efektivisht gj\u00ebrat ndryshojn\u00eb p\u00ebr mir\u00eb&nbsp;n\u00ebse fokusohemi tek vetja.&nbsp;Mund t\u00eb zgjedh\u00ebsh t\u00eb jetosh n\u00eb harmoni me veten apo me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt,&nbsp;dhe n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pa vet\u00ebdijshme zgjedh&nbsp;nj\u00ebr\u00ebn pasi t\u00eb dyja nuk mundesh.&nbsp;Kjo b\u00ebn&nbsp;q\u00eb t\u00eb pranosh veprime, sjellje,&nbsp;q\u00ebndrime q\u00eb meq\u00eb i pranon shumica b\u00ebhen t\u00eb justifikueshme ti pranosh dhe ti apriori por q\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrputhshm\u00ebri me at\u00eb q\u00eb ti v\u00ebrtet do.Dhe pa e kuptuar b\u00ebjm\u00eb zgjedhje t\u00eb gabuara q\u00eb na b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb pa lumtur.&nbsp;Gjithmon\u00eb&nbsp;e m\u00eb shum\u00eb jetojm\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb bot\u00eb ku na diktohet&nbsp;dhe na thuhet \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb,&nbsp;gjithmon\u00eb&nbsp;t\u00eb shtyr\u00eb drejt&nbsp;suksesit,&nbsp;n\u00eb k\u00ebrkimin ton\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb duhet dhe jo ajo q\u00eb na b\u00ebn ne t\u00eb lumtur.&nbsp;N\u00ebse reflektojm\u00eb dhe kuptojm\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e mira p\u00ebr ne,&nbsp;do&nbsp;t\u00eb na ndihmonte p\u00ebr t\u00eb vendosur ekuilibrat e munguar,&nbsp;do t\u00eb na lejoj\u00eb&nbsp;t\u00eb fillojm\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim t\u00ebgjat\u00eb drejt t\u00eb q\u00ebnit mir\u00eb&nbsp;me veten dhe p\u00ebr pasoj\u00eb&nbsp;m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ju uroj gjith\u00eb t\u00eb mirat !<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>E nderuar gazeta Intervista dhe n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti psikologet tuaja q\u00eb nuk lodhen \u00e7do jav\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb pran\u00eb lexuesve dhe atyre q\u00eb kan\u00eb nevoj\u00eb, si un\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast. Jam Bela, jam 25 vje\u00e7e dhe dua nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr veten time por besoj se ka edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb q\u00eb e vuajn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":19170,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[2006],"class_list":["post-19981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-amarilda-garuli"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19981"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19981\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}