{"id":15288,"date":"2017-04-18T16:02:46","date_gmt":"2017-04-18T14:02:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/?p=15288"},"modified":"2017-04-18T16:02:46","modified_gmt":"2017-04-18T14:02:46","slug":"djali-me-flet-me-vete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/2017\/04\/djali-me-flet-me-vete\/","title":{"rendered":"Djali m\u00eb flet me vete"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, jam nj\u00eb zonj\u00eb dhe e kam djalin 5 vje\u00e7. N\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi gjat\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb ka qen\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i qet\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb i zgjuar. Ai ka talent p\u00ebr muzik\u00ebn, i p\u00ebrcepton gj\u00ebrat shum\u00eb shpejt. Por halli im \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebtu: ka disa muaj q\u00eb djali her\u00eb pas here flet me vete. N\u00ebse un\u00eb i shpjegoj di\u00e7ka ai kur shtrihet t\u00eb flej\u00eb e shtjellon problemin me veten e tij. Nuk flet sikur \u00ebsht\u00eb duke bashk\u00ebbiseduar por duke e shtjelluar problemin. Djali im \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb kop\u00ebsht dhe atje \u00ebsht\u00eb tep\u00ebr i qet\u00eb. N\u00ebse shkon t\u00eb marr\u00eb nj\u00eb lod\u00ebr dhe i\u2019a k\u00ebrkon dikush tjet\u00ebr ai i\u2019a jep. Ndoshta k\u00ebtu kam pak faj edhe un\u00eb sepse vazhdimisht jam munduar ti m\u00ebsoj mir\u00ebsjelljen. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpi ai nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb si n\u00eb kop\u00ebsht, p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat e veta b\u00ebhet agresiv. Shpresoj q\u00eb ju t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmoni se si ta zgjidh k\u00ebt\u00eb problem. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Lorela Garuli, psikologe, email <\/strong><a href=\"mailto:lorela_garuli@hotmail.com\"><strong>lorela_garuli@hotmail.com<\/strong><\/a><strong>:<\/strong> P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje e dashur! T\u00eb falenderoj q\u00eb na shkruan dhe ndan me ne shqet\u00ebsimin t\u00ebnd. Me kaq t\u00eb dh\u00ebna sa ke shkruar \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb arrijm\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrfundime, sepse nuk kemi mjaftuesh\u00ebm informacion p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se djali paraqet ndonj\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi apo devijime t\u00eb zhvillimit. Sa i p\u00ebrket t\u00eb folurit me vete, djali yt \u00ebsht\u00eb 5-vje\u00e7 dhe nga profesionist\u00ebt p\u00ebrkat\u00ebs q\u00eb punojn\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, konsiderohet se prej mosh\u00ebs 3 e deri af\u00ebrsisht n\u00eb 7\/8 vjec f\u00ebmij\u00ebt mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb flasin shpesh me vete kur luajn\u00eb apo zhvillojn\u00eb aktivitete t\u00eb tjera vet\u00ebm. Sipas studiuesve, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb foluri privat, personal dhe shpreh papjekurin\u00eb e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs i cili n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb e sheh bot\u00ebn n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb shum\u00eb egocentrike por nga ana tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb folurit me veten konsiderohet edhe nj\u00eb instrument i mir\u00eb me an\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb cilit f\u00ebmija zhvillon komunikimin dhe m\u00eb tej aft\u00ebsit\u00eb sociale. K\u00ebto shprehje, p\u00ebrjetime, ide, biseda q\u00eb f\u00ebmija i b\u00ebn me veten me z\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb, m\u00eb tej me rritjen dhe zhvillimin e tij kognitiv dhe intelektual, brend\u00ebsohen dhe kthehen n\u00eb mendimet e brendshme, ashtu si\u00e7 ndodh me t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb rriturit. K\u00ebshtu q\u00eb, sipas k\u00ebtij k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi, nuk ka asgj\u00eb t\u00eb madhe p\u00ebr t\u2019u shqet\u00ebsuar se pse f\u00ebmija flet me veten n\u00eb momente t\u00eb caktuara. P\u00ebrkundrazi pra, ato do t\u00eb ndihmojn\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb zhvilluar m\u00eb tej zhvillimin e komunikimit t\u00eb tij dhe aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e nd\u00ebrveprimit social. Kjo do t\u00eb thot\u00eb gjithashtu edhe se kur v\u00ebm\u00eb re se f\u00ebmija po zhvillon k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj dialogu me veten, nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e p\u00ebrshtatshme apo e k\u00ebshillueshme t\u2019i b\u00ebrtasim, kritikojm\u00eb apo ta urdh\u00ebrojm\u00eb t\u00eb mos e b\u00ebj\u00eb m\u00eb, por me shum\u00eb takt dhe kujdes mund t\u2019i t\u00ebrheqim pak v\u00ebmendjen. Nuk duhet harruar gjithashtu, se n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt kan\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb quhet loja imagjinare, ku \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e pranishme fantazia dhe imagjinata n\u00eb loj\u00ebrat q\u00eb ata luajn\u00eb dhe n\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb ata tregojn\u00eb. Imagjinata, loja dhe arg\u00ebtimi jan\u00eb nga m\u00ebnyrat kryesore me an\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb cilave f\u00ebmij\u00ebt m\u00ebsojn\u00eb dhe rriten. Pra, si\u00e7 po thoja, nuk shoh ndonj\u00eb sjellje t\u00eb \u00e7rregulluar t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs suaj. \u00cbsht\u00eb rritur dhe edukuar me persona t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs madhore dhe sjelljet dhe veprimet e tij jan\u00eb konform edukat\u00ebs s\u00eb marr\u00eb nga personat q\u00eb jan\u00eb p\u00ebrkujdesur p\u00ebr t\u00eb. P\u00ebr t\u00eb ndryshuar tani sjelljet e tij duhet t\u00eb punoni vet\u00eb si nen\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtoheni m\u00eb tep\u00ebr rreth tij, sepse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb von\u00eb. Sapo t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb kontakti me m\u00ebsuesen, me bashk\u00ebmoshatar\u00ebt e tjer\u00eb do t\u00eb ndikoj\u00eb n\u00eb form\u00ebsimin e tij, prandaj mos u merakosni, por edhe mos i anashkaloni sjelljet dhe veprimet e tij. Ju sugjeroj q\u00eb t\u00eb jeni \u2018v\u00ebzhguese\u2019 e sjelljeve dhe veprimeve t\u00eb tij. Sa u shpjegua m\u00eb lart, jan\u00eb parime t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjithshme t\u00eb rritjes dhe zhvillimit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs; \u00e7far\u00eb f\u00ebmija thot\u00eb pastaj, \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr c\u00ebshtje. N\u00ebse p\u00ebrmbajtja e asaj q\u00eb f\u00ebmija flet me vete \u00ebsht\u00eb shqet\u00ebsuese, at\u00ebher\u00eb mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb rasti p\u00ebr t\u2019u merakosur dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar takim me profesionistin p\u00ebrkat\u00ebs. N\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt, e gjith\u00eb kjo mund t\u00eb vler\u00ebsohet si nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e zhvillimit normal t\u00eb zakonsh\u00ebm. E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb ndodh me egoizmin q\u00eb ai shfaq n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat e veta; mosha 5-vje\u00e7are \u00ebsht\u00eb kulmi i p\u00ebrjetimit t\u00eb ndjenjave egocentrike ku cdo gj\u00eb e do p\u00ebr veten, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt b\u00ebhen xheloz\u00eb dhe nuk duan t\u00eb ndajn\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e vetja. Edhe k\u00ebtu s\u00ebrish, gjithmon\u00eb me gjuh\u00ebn e duhur i shpjegohet se secili ka gj\u00ebrat, pjes\u00ebn dhe rolin e vet n\u00eb familje, kop\u00ebsht e kudo. Uroj t\u00eb t\u00eb ken\u00eb ardhur n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb k\u00ebto k\u00ebshilla. Gjith\u00eb t\u00eb mirat dhe na shkruaj s\u00ebrish n\u00ebse ke nevoj\u00eb!<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>P\u00ebrsh\u00ebndetje, jam nj\u00eb zonj\u00eb dhe e kam djalin 5 vje\u00e7. N\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi gjat\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb ka qen\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i qet\u00eb dhe shum\u00eb i zgjuar. Ai ka talent p\u00ebr muzik\u00ebn, i p\u00ebrcepton gj\u00ebrat shum\u00eb shpejt. Por halli im \u00ebsht\u00eb k\u00ebtu: ka disa muaj q\u00eb djali her\u00eb pas here flet me vete. N\u00ebse un\u00eb i shpjegoj di\u00e7ka ai [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":15283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86],"tags":[1194],"class_list":["post-15288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psikologu","tag-lorela-garuli"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15288"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15288\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}