– Jam nj\u00eb djal\u00eb 26 vje\u00e7, i martuar, por banoj i vet\u00ebm n\u00eb Greqi. Para ca koh\u00ebsh njoha nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet Facebookut. Fol\u00ebm gati tre muaj n\u00eb internet dhe pak nga pak filluam bisedat intime, flisnim \u00e7do dit\u00eb e \u00e7do nat\u00eb. Pas ca koh\u00ebsh, ika n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri n\u00eb qytetin tim dhe dola t\u00eb pija kafe me nj\u00eb shok f\u00ebmij\u00ebrie. E pyeta si gjith\u00eb \u00e7unat a kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb gj\u00eb dhe si me shaka, i tregova p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb vajz\u00eb. I thash\u00eb se kisha folur me t\u00eb dhe e kishim l\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb takoheshim. Kur ia tregova kush ishte ajo, ai vuri buz\u00ebn n\u00eb gaz dhe m\u00eb tha q\u00eb edhe ai shkonte me t\u00eb. T\u00eb dy e kishim numrin e telefonit t\u00eb saj. Ajo nuk e dinte se isha n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb e provokuam. Ky shoku im e mori n\u00eb telefon dhe filluan t\u00eb bisedonin, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb i d\u00ebgjoja. Shoku im i f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb quhet A. Sa mbaroi ai bised\u00ebn me t\u00eb, nuk durova m\u00eb, por e mora vajz\u00ebn n\u00eb telefon. Ajo m\u00eb tha: \u201cH\u00eb, zem\u00ebr, prap\u00eb more?\u201d. I thash\u00eb, \u201ccila zem\u00ebr?\u201d. Ajo nuk dinte \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb thonte dhe m\u00eb tha se e dinte q\u00eb isha un\u00eb. \u201cKush tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb marr\u00eb?\u201d, m\u00eb tha. Shoku im ma kishte treguar gjith\u00eb historin\u00eb si ishin lidhur, si ishin takuar, n\u00eb \u00e7far\u00eb vendi kishin shkuar, sa her\u00eb e b\u00ebnte e t\u00eb gjitha, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb fillova ta provokoja vajz\u00ebn. E pyeta a e kishte shqet\u00ebsuar kush dhe m\u00eb tha se jo. E pyeta tro\u00e7 a e kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb me ndonj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr dhe m\u00eb tha prap\u00eb se jo. At\u00ebhere u acarova keq dhe i thash\u00eb: \u201cT\u00eb kam ndjekur, t\u00eb kam par\u00eb me k\u00eb je takuar, \u00e7far\u00eb makine ke hipur, ku shkon\u201d dhe ia tregova me imt\u00ebsi. Ngaq\u00eb nuk dinte \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb thoshte, m\u00eb tha se do t\u00eb ma shpjegonte nga af\u00ebr. Ne u takuam n\u00eb hotel, biseduam gjat\u00eb e pas shum\u00eb bisedash, e b\u00ebm\u00eb. Pastaj ik\u00ebm secili n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn e tij. Tani ajo nuk flet m\u00eb me shokun tim A. se m\u00eb thon\u00eb t\u00eb dy, por shoku im nuk e di q\u00eb un\u00eb flas me t\u00eb dhe q\u00eb kam shkuar me k\u00ebt\u00eb vajz\u00eb. Vajza m\u00eb betohet, qan, thot\u00eb: \u201cKam b\u00ebr\u00eb gabim q\u00eb kam shkuar me A.-n\u00eb\u201d dhe m\u00eb betohet q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb m\u00eb tradhtoj\u00eb m\u00eb. Pas ca koh\u00ebsh, un\u00eb zbulova se vajza ishte fejuar me shokun tim t\u00eb kurbetit. \u201cNuk di \u00e7\u2019t\u00eb b\u00ebj, m\u00eb thot\u00eb, por t\u00eb bashkohet toka me qiellin, ty nuk t\u00eb l\u00eb. Kush do m\u00eb k\u00ebshilloj\u00eb mua? Kush do m\u00eb mb\u00ebshtes\u00eb? Kush do m\u00eb jap mendime? Ku do t\u2019i qaj hallet un\u00eb?\u201d. \u201cPo un\u00eb nuk jam psikolog, i thash\u00eb, do ndahemi\u201d, por ajo nuk do, vet\u00ebm qan. Deri para dy dit\u00ebsh fola me t\u00eb. Tani jam n\u00eb Greqi dhe i kam fshir\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha, hodha numrin, mbylla Facebook-un… Nuk di si kam vepruar, por m\u00eb vinte keq p\u00ebr vajz\u00ebn se ishte e drejt\u00eb n\u00eb shpirt, e paditur p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn. Ishte \u201c\u00e7far\u00eb fluturon hahet\u201d. M\u00eb jep nj\u00eb mendim, i nderuar psikolog, si kam vepruar?
\nDr. Jashar Demiri, psikolog klinicist: – Nj\u00eb jet\u00eb rr\u00ebmuj\u00eb, si dhe nj\u00eb jet\u00eb po aq e shkap\u00ebrderdhur. Nj\u00eb burr\u00eb i martuar 26 vje\u00e7ar i cili e p\u00ebrkeq\u00ebson jet\u00ebn e tij duke u preokupuar pa mbarim p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb t\u00eb fejuar e t\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshme, e cila gjithashtu nuk e di se ku \u00ebsht\u00eb. Q\u00eb, gjasme \u201ct\u00eb paska gjetur ty si psikologun\u201d e saj e ti tani ndihesh p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Edhe psikolog po t\u00eb jesh, hallet e saj jan\u00eb t\u00eb sajat! Pra, ty, ku t\u00eb \u00e7on mushka?! Do t\u00eb ndash gruan e do t\u00eb marr\u00ebsh at\u00eb? Rr\u00ebmuj\u00eb pas rr\u00ebmuje… Si\u00e7 thot\u00eb populli: \u201cfati i par\u00eb syri n\u00eb ball\u00eb, fati i dyt\u00eb, t\u00eb nxjerr syt\u00eb, fati i tret\u00eb, t\u00eb fut n\u00eb dhet\u00eb\u201d… Ashtu si\u00e7 sot ajo duke qen\u00eb e fejuar me nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr qan p\u00ebr ty, nes\u00ebr me siguri duke qen\u00eb me ty, do t\u00eb qaj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. Sa mir\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte q\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb preokupim ta kishe p\u00ebr familjen t\u00ebnde, pa k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj \u201cdhembshurie\u201d p\u00ebr nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr e cila mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb m\u00eb aktore sesa gruaja jote, por jo aq e vlefshme dhe e duhur sa ajo. Ti qenke i martuar dhe thua q\u00eb n\u00eb Greqi banon vet\u00ebm, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb, pa gruan. Po pse, gruaja jote nuk ka nevoja?! A nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb njeri ajo? Pse kaq \u201cinvestim\u201d dhe preokupime pas nj\u00eb tjetre q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb jotja? Bashkohu me n\u00ebn\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tu dhe trajtoje mir\u00eb at\u00eb. Sa m\u00eb ke shkruar nj\u00eb let\u00ebr kaq t\u00eb gjat\u00eb mua, mund t\u2019i shkruaje nj\u00eb let\u00ebr dashurie gruas t\u00ebnde, q\u00eb jeta t\u00eb mos t\u00eb t\u00eb nd\u00ebshkoj\u00eb e kur t\u00eb dalin sheshit k\u00ebto, gruaja mos t\u00eb t\u00eb quaj\u00eb \u201cburr\u00eb-kurv\u00eb\u201d. Ndoshta mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb t\u00eb meta gruaja jote, por ti po u bie hasha edhe t\u00eb mirave t\u00eb saj, pasi ajo pati vlera p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ti u martove.
\n– Nj\u00eb shkrimtar ka th\u00ebn\u00eb se gruaja \u00ebsht\u00eb si i s\u00ebmuri dhe e gjen sh\u00ebrimin te burri i saj, pra, te bashk\u00ebshorti. Psikologia Lumnie Telaku nga Prishtina argumenton: \u201cPo qe se te nj\u00eb grua shohim vet\u00ebm t\u00eb metat e jo vlerat, ai njeri s\u2019mund t\u00eb \u201cb\u00ebhet\u201d kurr\u00eb i mir\u00eb p\u00ebr ty\u201d. Ja se si i shkruan Van Gogu n\u00eb nj\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebllait Teos: \u201cFemrat jan\u00eb t\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshme, Teo, t\u00eb paq\u00ebndrueshme si moti. Sigurisht, ai q\u00eb ka sy, s\u2019ka si t\u00eb mos shoh\u00eb di\u00e7ka t\u00eb mir\u00eb edhe t\u00eb bukur te \u00e7do lloj moti, ai e gjen t\u00eb bukur\u00ebn n\u00eb d\u00ebbor\u00ebn, n\u00eb diellin p\u00ebrv\u00eblues, furtun\u00ebn dhe qet\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb vjen pas saj, n\u00eb t\u00eb ftoht\u00ebt dhe t\u00eb nxehtit, i p\u00eblqen \u00e7do stin\u00eb, rron me endje n\u00eb \u00e7do dit\u00eb t\u00eb vitit dhe n\u00eb thell\u00ebsi t\u00eb shpirtit \u00ebsht\u00eb i k\u00ebnaqur q\u00eb \u00e7do gj\u00eb ec\u00ebn ashtu, natyrsh\u00ebm. Prandaj, n\u00ebse njeriu mban nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim t\u00eb till\u00eb ndaj motit, ndaj \u00e7do ndryshimi t\u00eb tij, k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj q\u00ebndrimi mbase e mban edhe ndaj paq\u00ebndrueshm\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb femr\u00ebs… E p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, n\u00eb rast se edhe ndaj jet\u00ebs do t\u00eb mbahej ky q\u00ebndrim, them se karakteri dhe pik\u00ebpamjet jo n\u00eb \u00e7do rast do t\u00eb ishin n\u00eb harmoni e n\u00eb mir\u00ebkuptim me karakterin dhe pik\u00ebpamjet e femr\u00ebs me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn jemi lidhur; at\u00ebher\u00eb asnj\u00eb burr\u00ebri, asnj\u00eb besim e optimiz\u00ebm s\u2019mund t\u00eb na shp\u00ebtoj\u00eb nga pak\u00ebnaq\u00ebsit\u00eb dhe dyshimi… n\u00eb martes\u00eb\u201d.
\n– Do t\u00eb t\u00eb lutem, i nderuar let\u00ebrshkrues, lexoje me kujdes k\u00ebt\u00eb let\u00ebr t\u00eb Van Gogut, pasi shum\u00eb t\u00eb martuar b\u00ebhen aventurier\u00eb pasi shohin si me lup\u00eb zmadhuese \u00e7do gj\u00eb t\u00eb bukur te femrat e tjera dhe gjejn\u00eb t\u00eb meta pa mbarim te gruaja e vet. Pra, edhe po t\u00eb mos kishte, do t\u2019i k\u00ebrkonin e gjenin ato, duke ia par\u00eb asaj pluset e virtytet me syze t\u00eb err\u00ebta. K\u00ebsisoj, njeriu mund t\u00eb v\u00ebrdalliset pa krijuar at\u00eb q\u00eb i duhet n\u00eb jet\u00eb ose duke k\u00ebrkuar at\u00eb q\u00eb s\u2019e gjen dot kurr\u00eb. A e dini pse don zhuan\u00ebt nuk jan\u00eb kurr\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur? Sepse vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr pak koh\u00eb i k\u00ebnaq ata preja e tyre prej gjahtari e pastaj k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb gjahun e radh\u00ebs, madje sa m\u00eb shpejt q\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb e mundur. Mendoj se njeriu ka m\u00eb tep\u00ebr nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr pafund\u00ebsit\u00eb dhe mrekullit\u00eb e bot\u00ebs q\u00eb ta ndiej\u00eb veten n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb planet si n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e vet e jo t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqet vet\u00ebm pak me ato q\u00eb b\u00ebn. Duke qen\u00eb t\u00eb pasuksessh\u00ebm n\u00eb jet\u00eb, shum\u00eb meshkuj p\u00ebrpiqen ta \u201cnivelojn\u00eb\u201d k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj mossuksesi te \u201csuksesi\u201d me femrat… Ah, i bukur \u201csukses\u201d prej hamshori q\u00eb jeton si i zg\u00ebrlaqur, pasi turbina e seksit ia ha shumicen e energjive q\u00eb do t\u2019i duheshin p\u00ebr pun\u00eb, sport, studim etj. K\u00ebtu \u00ebsht\u00eb ndryshimi, sepse njer\u00ebzit e men\u00e7ur e t\u00eb sukessh\u00ebm p\u00ebrpiqen t\u00eb arrijn\u00eb sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb lart\u00ebsuar veten e jet\u00ebn. Duke punuar, t\u00eb jesh i bindur se do t\u00eb kesh edhe aft\u00ebsi p\u00ebr ta dashuruar me shum\u00eb gruan t\u00ebnde. Duaj dhe vler\u00ebso gruan t\u00ebnde, kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebsh!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
– Jam nj\u00eb djal\u00eb 26 vje\u00e7, i martuar, por banoj i vet\u00ebm n\u00eb Greqi. Para ca koh\u00ebsh njoha nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet Facebookut. Fol\u00ebm gati tre muaj n\u00eb internet dhe pak nga pak filluam bisedat intime, flisnim \u00e7do dit\u00eb e \u00e7do nat\u00eb. Pas ca koh\u00ebsh, ika n\u00eb Shqip\u00ebri n\u00eb qytetin tim dhe dola t\u00eb pija kafe […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[86,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-psikologu","category-pyetje-pergjigje"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13579"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13579\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/intervista.al\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}